You want to live a life you feel passionate about, right? If you want to find your life purpose, first get honest about what you WANT says life coach Rebecca Rubin…
Why are you here? What are you passionate about? And how can you make a living doing it?
If answers to these questions feel farther away than you’d like, don’t fret. As a professional life coach, MY passion is helping women find their calling (and fall in love with their life and business in the process). So here, dear Numis, I’ve assembled 10 of my go-to moves for waking up to your life purpose.
1) “Lean in” to your desires
We don’t always give ourselves permission to want the things that really make our hearts flutter, especially if they’re at all unconventional. We judge our desires as too grand, too silly, too selfish, or just plain unrealistic. Well, it’s time to call bullshit on that and start getting intimately acquainted with your desires—especially the big, raw, juicy ones. The closer you get to these authentic and thrilling pulls from the Universe, the closer you’ll be edging towards living your purpose.
To get started, list three of your BIGGEST desires (no boner-killing “shoulds” allowed!) If you’re feeling stuck, consult your inner six-year old self. Don’t worry about “how” these desires will manifest – for now, just give yourself permission to want what you WANT.
2) Use your jealousy as a compass
Coveting another woman’s power, beauty, fame, or success? That’s useful information for uncovering your life’s purpose. We’re usually jealous of people who are expressing something that lies untapped deep within us, so instead of beating yourself up or feeling inferior, get curious about what the green-eyed monster is telling you.
Make a list of people you envy and why. Jealous of the industry thought leader waxing poetic on the podium? Might be time to flex your public speaking muscle. Feel a pang when your friend regales with stories of her travels? Consider dusting off that passport and planning an adventure of your own. When you view your jealousy as a roadmap to your (possibly hidden) desires, it becomes a blessing.
3) Act on Divine guidance
The Universe is constantly speaking to you, but you’ve got to become an open channel to hear it. This happens when you regularly practice mindfulness-enhancing activities like journaling, prayer and meditation. Once you dip into your inner stillness, simply ask for guidance on how to proceed. And when The Universe speaks (in signs, coincidences, and intuitive hits), listen up – and act!
If you’re suddenly moved to pick a certain book off the shelf and re-read it, or call a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while, DO IT. The more we act on the intuitive whispers we receive, the stronger they will become and the more guided we will be on our journey.
4) Invest in the support you need
There is a pernicious myth among women that we should be able to “do it all” and that if we fall short, there must be something wrong with us. But one of the best ways to set yourself up for success and find your life purpose is to intentionally create support structures in your life. These could include friends, family members, a therapist, weekly yoga class, spiritual counselor, or even regular trips to the spa.
By making this kind of investment, you send a powerful message to the Universe that you’re committed to living the best life possible AND that you’re committed to taking extremely good care of yourself so you can bring your gifts to the world. Are you currently getting enough support? The key is not to fear feeling vulnerable – rather, use this as a diving rod for the areas to ask for help.
5) Forgive yourself (and everyone else) for not being perfect
On your journey towards a more purpose-driven life, mistakes will be made. From cringe-worthy typos in important emails to fumbled words when you want to appear cool and collected, you are (and will continue to be) completely, totally, and irrevocably imperfect. So save some time and forgive yourself in advance.
The more regularly you practice forgiving yourself and others, the less time you will waste beating yourself up and the more time and energy you can devote to creating a purpose-filled life! So, is there someone you need to forgive? Is it yourself? Write a letter venting all your grievances and then burn it, repeating: “Universe help me to forgive this person and set us both free so we can follow the paths toward our highest good in this life.”
6) Learn to love the re-routes
The journey to finding your purpose won’t always be smooth sailing. From naysayers to unexpected bumps in the road, you will be challenged repeatedly. But every time you get thrown off course, you have a chance to auto-correct and come back to center. With every re-route, the Universal GPS will re-route you to your destination, making you stronger and more unstoppable than ever before.
The next time you’re knocked off center in the quest toward your purpose, try repeating the following affirmation: “I choose to see this upsetting event as an opportunity to deepen my faith and my commitment to living the life I am meant to live. I choose to see this situation as a blessing in disguise and I forgive everyone involved.”
7) Mingle with likeminded babes
They say you’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with and nothing could be truer. When you’re on a mission to find your life purpose, you must surround yourself with kindred spirits doing the same. How are you supposed to meet these awesome peeps? Start showing up to places that intrigue you and being more open and friendly.
When you focus on building more meaningful connections, you will enjoy life more, feel more supported, and find opportunities flowing into your life with greater ease. Start by listing three events you could attend to broaden your circle in the next month and then mark them on your calendar. Happy (mindful) networking!
8) Rub up against your industry-crushes
It’s easy to feel defeated when you see people in your field killing it when you’re just starting out – but resist that urge! The best way to be as successful as they are is to soak in what they are offering and support them. The Internet makes this easier than ever as it’s easy to comment and engage with them online (you’ll be surprised by how many people will respond).
Even better, make an effort to attend their live events. I for one will be attending the ever-inspiring Gabby Bernstein’s NYC lecture in November. Being around people who are doing what you want to do shows your subconscious that your dreams are attainable, which is critical to find your life purpose.
9) Practice Radical Generosity
How about instead of focusing on how people can help you get where you want to go, asking yourself how you can help them? The universal currency is energy, and the more you give (of your love, gifts, talents and time), the more you will receive. When you genuinely start helping people, you’ll be surprised how quickly they’ll be banging down your door to hire you, invite you on vacation, set you up with their cute friend, etc.
And the more you give to others in a way that lights you up, the closer to your purpose you will be. The one caveat is to be energetically responsible – i.e. if you’re running on empty, don’t offer to plan a friend’s surprise party. As a next step, brainstorm three ways you can give of yourself (and use your gifts) in the near future and go make it happen!
10) Step outside your comfort zone. All the time
If there’s one thing I can promise you it’s this: pursuing your life purpose will feel uncomfortable. But every time you step outside your comfort zone in the direction of your desires, the level of joy and range of experience you have access to expands.
This constant expansion in the direction of what lights you up IS your life’s purpose. Begin by taking small “risks” today that are aligned with your desires and watch how quickly your life (and comfort zone) expands.
You can read more from Rebecca Rubin at Thepursuitoffabulous.com