IS IT EGO, FEAR, OR INTUITION?

How to tell the difference between ego, fear, and intuition, is about learning to listen to—and differentiate between—the different voices in your head, says Natalie Miles.

You Are Intuitive Natalie Miles Numinous Books Intuition quote

It’s the question I get asked the most: “How do I trust what my intuition is telling me? How do I know it’s real? Is it all my imagination? Is it my ego talking? Am I making this all up?”

Learning to differentiate between the different voices in your head is often the key missing piece when it comes to trusting your intuition, as it will help you tune into and prioritize what it’s telling you. The thing is, all these voices sound just like you. Let’s take a closer look at the role of these three inner voices.

Your Ego Voice is the voice of your external identity, or how you see yourself in the world. It is also the part of you that keeps up a running commentary of the fears, worries, desires, needs and judgments you generate daily just by being a human in the world. When this chatter is running the show, it’s very hard to hear the softer, gentler voice of your intuition.

It’s easy to see why common wisdom in the New Age community is that the Ego is a “negative” part of us, and that we should do our best to try to transcend it. And it’s true that paying it too much attention can be the cause of so much suffering. But if we truly lived from a place of no Ego, we’d be denying the fact that we’re still humans having a human experience on this planet. Not to mention that when we suppress our fears, desires and the emotions connected to them, it ultimately causes us more pain and suffering. It’s actually when we accept the duality that lies within us, no longer viewing the Ego and its concerns as either good or bad but simply a part of our whole self, that we truly step into our authentic truth and power.

This can also be said for the Fear voice, which is the voice of our inner survival instinct. We are all programmed with a fight, flight, or freeze mechanism to help us respond to danger. The Fear voice is the Ego voice with the volume turned up, and it kicks in during times of panic and acute stress and discomfort. Although this mind is programmed within us to help us survive in these moments, more often than not, it can be hard to distinguish between what is real and our Fear mind causing even more chaos as we lose all perspective. This is why discovering how to use and trust your Intuitive voice during these times is a skill to relearn and master.

Meanwhile, your Intuitive Voice is here to support you and guide you. It’s important to stress again that all these voices will “sound” like you. You’re not going to suddenly hear strange voices from another realm or the “voice of God” in your head. But unlike the Ego / Fear Voice, which is like your personal trainer barking at you, your Intuitive Voice will sound confident, gentle, and calm. You’ll also hear it from the “back” of your head, while the Ego / Fear Voice will come from the “front” of your mind. The Intuitive Voice also isn’t hung-up on things happening on any particular time frame, or on any specific outcome. This can make it feel riskier to trust, as nine times out of ten we want the Intuitive Voice to show up when we need an answer quickly! What actually happens, is that your Intuitive Voice will deliver its message and then disappear —the skill being learning to listen when it speaks to you, versus trying to make it show up when you want. The Ego / Fear Voice on the other hand, is ever-present, chattering away in your head and urging you to act NOW.

This is actually a key way you can distinguish between an ego / fear based message and your intuitive guidance. Notice: what message has been playing on a loop in your head the past day or so? What would happen if you just let the need to act on this go, and trusted that the “real” time and course of action to pursue will simply let itself be known?

Now let’s look at some other ways to tell the difference between ego, fear, and intuition.

 

QUALITIES OF THE EGO VOICE

-You can’t stop thinking about something and the voice keeps going ‘round and ‘round in your head. Am I doing enough? Should I do something different? Is this going to work?

-The voice has an agenda, expectation, goal, or plan. When am I going to get that job? I need to know if they’re the one. My five-year plan says I should be doing this by now.

-There is a desire for a logical and obvious “solution” to fix a situation or get guidance. I must work out a detailed, step-by-step plan for how to proceed and make changes in my life

-It wants an answer NOW! I should have worked this out by now! I don’t have time to wait! I have a deadline to make a decision.

-The ego voice often uses the words “should,” “would,” or “must.” I should do it this way. I must act now. How would that be perceived?

 

Location

The Ego voice comes from the front of the head.

 

In the body

Can make your body feel tense or tight.

 

Quality of Voice

Chattering

Fast paced

Fearful

Foggy

Easily led

 

Emotional Guide

Anxiety

Panic

Confidence

Motivation

Overwhelm

Confusion

Frustration

Anger

 

QUALITIES OF THE FEAR VOICE

-Wants to control everything around them including the actions and emotions of others. The more control I have the “safer” I will be.

-Suspicious and paranoid. Wants to question everything and everyone.

-Kicks in during stressful events, conversations, relationships, uncertainty or trauma. It’s time to get into survival and protection mode.

-Fear of the unknown, uncertainty, and not knowing. What might happen to me? I don’t have a plan. What will this mean for the future?

-Feels like it’s missing out on something. I might miss out on that opportunity. I don’t want to fail at any cost. I want to feel differently from how I am feeling right now.

 

Location, Emotional Guide, and Quality of Voice

Just like the Ego Voice it comes from the front of the head. It will have the same voice quality and emotional guide as the Ego Voice, but amped up—like having a military general barking orders at you or the volume dial being turned up to MAX. Your whole energetic intuitive body feels like it’s on overdrive, and everything seems overwhelming, chaotic, and out of control.

 

 QUALITIES OF THE INTUITIVE VOICE

-Guidance comes in and then disappears from your mind. Speak to this person. Listen to this creative idea. Do this. Go there. Take action. You will hear it once and it won’t keep niggling at you.

-Isn’t attached to any desire or outcome. Nothing is “right” or “wrong,” and it doesn’t matter what I think I “want.” 

-Doesn’t feel forced or have an agenda. I surrender up energetically to what is happening or will happen in the future.

-Feels good in your body and energetic sphere. Something just feels “right” as if I know it to be true.

-Doesn’t feel fixed or logical but you want to know more. May offer up a different path or route that you had not thought of. What about doing it this way?

-Timing is flexible or does not factor at all. It doesn’t matter when it happens, my job is to stay on the path and trust where I am being taken.

-Feels like it wants to support you and guide you. Feels like a best friend or confidante that always wants the best for you. Feels like it has your back and wants you to succeed.

 

Location

Deep in the back of the head or mind.

 

In your body

May be felt throughout your whole intuitive body, as body tingles, warmth, cold breeze

(There’s a whole chapter coming up on how you can identify the bodily sensations of your intuitive voice)

 

Voice Quality

Confident

Calm

Rational

Trustworthy

Guiding

 

Emotional Guide

Calm

Centered

Balanced

Reassured

 

Are you starting to tell the difference yet? The next step is to consciously listen out for when your intuition is speaking to you—and then take action on what it says.

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Excerpted from You Are Intuitive: Trust Your Truth, Take Back Your Power by Natalie Miles, out now with Numinous Books.

BLOCKS TO INTUITION THAT PREVENT US FROM TUNING IN

If you have a hard time hearing your intuition, chances are one of these blocks to intuition is getting in the way of you trusting your inner voice, says Natalie Miles.

Natalie Miles You Are Intuitive Numinous Books

Living as your true self essentially means living in alignment with your intuition. This means learning how to trust yourself and your inner knowing, versus what the outside world is telling you—which is the only way you can ever be fully empowered to make choices that are right for you. Sounds good, right? But while might not be consciously aware of it, you have been imprinted with deep programming that has taught you to fear your intuition. Ultimately, these blocks to intuition have been preventing you from trusting and accessing your gifts – and if you’re ready to take back your intuitive power, it’s important to look at the exact nature of what’s holding you back, so that you can move it out of your body and your psyche.

For starters, ancestral shame about our intuition has been passed from generation to generation under the control of the patriarchy, Western religious sects and colonialism. Stemming from a period in history when witches went into hiding and intuitives were murdered for using their gifts, the fear and shame associated with this mass execution has been passed on through your DNA without you even realizing. Not to mention it being reinforced by societal messages about this work being “woo woo,” not “real,” or not relevant to the world we live in today. Stored in your physical, emotional and spiritual body, this trauma is showing up right now as any fears, doubts and anxieties you may feel about connecting to your intuition.

In order for you to release this, we must first discover the nature of your personal fears, and the beliefs they are connected to. Until you go through this process, trying to access your intuition will be like buying a brand new computer or smartphone and discovering it’s got an outdated operating system that needs to be upgraded before you can begin to use it. Think of it like an intuition reset!

WHAT WILL OTHER PEOPLE THINK?

Whether you’ve never connected to your intuition before or you’ve already been experimenting with your gifts, some fears have most likely come up around what other people will have to say about it. Perhaps you’re afraid they won’t take you seriously, or that you’ll be judged as being weird and woo-woo by friends, family members and your wider community. During the witch trials many who were arrested and killed were turned in to the authorities by the people closest to them. This collective Ancestor Story manifests in a fear that our loved ones may turn against us or deceive us. Instead of shining our gifts brightly we hide them away, out of sight from others. 

It’s also known that during this period of genocide, women turned on other intuitive women in order to save themselves. This ancestral patterning can still show up today as women being super mean and critical, and pulling each other down—a conditioned behavior orchestrated by the patriarchy as a way to keep women disempowered. Instead of one unified, powerful, force, who bonded together to support each other, they were turned against each other.

Sometimes the fear and shame instilled by this shared history manifests as a deep knowing in the body. A feeling that if you do put your gifts out into the open you will be ridiculed or judged. This might happen when you suddenly sense or feel something about a situation or a person but you don’t want to share it in case people think you’re weird. It might not make sense, but suddenly you feel a tightness across your chest, a block in your throat, or anxiety in your stomach. Triggering ancestral memories of being punished for using your gifts, in either scenario the body will block you from connecting to your gifts as a safety response.

-When have you felt judged by others or that you’ve had to hide your gifts?

-What does this fear/ block feel like in your body?

-Have you been hiding this book away? What are you afraid people might say if they knew you were reading it?

IS IT EVEN SAFE?

This is one of the biggest blocks to connecting to your intuition—stemming from religious teachings, ancestral memories of the witch trials … and good old-fashioned horror movies depicting evil spirits, haunted houses, and people being possessed and acting “crazy.” And let’s be blunt: yes, there are negative energies in the Spirit realm that you may be exposed to when using your intuition. But you can also learn how to protect yourself, set clear intentions, and, most importantly, trust yourself to use your own power to call in only what you want to connect to.

This fear is also a symptom of current societal programming that tells us we shouldn’t want to know or look at the more shadowy, scary parts of ourselves or society. That we should just focus on the “high-vibe, love and light” aspects of our nature and the world. But connecting to our intuition is about learning to work WITH all of our shadowy parts we try and hide away or don’t feel safe looking at. They co-exist together and we can experience a powerful transformation when we embody all parts of ourselves.

You may feel a spike in anxiety and fear just reading this. Perhaps you’ve had an experience with a negative energy or something freaked you out when you opened yourself up and now you’re afraid to go there again. Please don’t worry. The fact you’re even here shows you are ready to release this old programming, and that you are ready to access your gifts in a way that feels safe, empowered, and aligned with your true self.

-What are you scared you might connect to?

-What bad or negative experiences are you ready to release?

-What scary images come up when you think of going to the “other side” and what can you replace these with?

BUT, GOOGLE …

We have been trained to place so much trust in external guidance, especially with the advent of technology, that we have become fearful of trusting ourselves. When was the last time you drove or walked around your city without looking at the GPS on your phone? When you decided where you were going and simply trusted you knew the right way. Do you know by memory the road layout of your city? Or do you punch an address into your phone just to check the direction even though you know roughly where you’re going?

And then there’s good old Google. How often when you know something to be true do you still do a search just to check and make sure? Plenty of us also rely on Google to tell us the meaning of our dreams, as well as to decipher the signs and symbols that are actually our intuition in action. The same way some religions have taught us to believe that connection to Spirit exists outside of ourselves, technology encourages us to place our trust in external sources versus consulting with our own ancient intuitive technology.

Imagine what it would feel like not to rely on Google for answers. To navigate through your day using just your inner guidance system—just like our ancestors did as they connected intuitively to the stars in the night sky. Given the rapid advances of technology in the 21st Century, it’s something we’ve come to depend on very quickly, presenting a very modern block to us accessing our gifts. It’s so easy to type a question into Google, and the answer comes back instantly. We want answers quick and fast. But our addiction to instant gratification disconnects us from our power, as we don’t want to invest the time it takes to develop our intuition and trust our own truths. Yes, technology has so many benefits. But we need to remember that we also have access to deep inner knowing, and that if we don’t use it, we’re in danger of losing it.

-How do you feel if you leave the house without your phone?

-How heavily do you rely on Google and GPS for guidance?

-Imagine how you would navigate your day without these things. How does this feel?

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There are so many blocks to intuition, which can prevent us living as our true selves, and the key to moving past them is to acknowledge what’s blocking you. The good news is that simply becoming aware of these blocks to intuition is the first step to consciously moving them aside, and stepping back into your power—free to follow your inner knowing and make choices in your life that are right for YOU.

Excerpted from You Are Intuitive: Trust Your Truth, Take Back Your Power by Natalie Miles, out September 29, 2020—click HERE to pre-order your copy today and sign up for the special pre-order bonus package. Learn more about publishing your book with Numinous Books HERE.