AN HONEST RELATIONSHIP: HOW TO LOVE AND BE LOVED

Step fully into your light for an honest relationship that shows you how to love and be loved, says Hannah BierArtwork: “Lovers” by Marina Gonzalez via Behance.net

mindful relationship abstract lovers by Maria González on The Numinous

They told me that true love was sweet and sticky. They told me that if I manage to stay obedient and pure, a Prince will come and save me. He will wear tight-ass leggings and put me in a castle, where we will have mediocre sex until the end of time.

Well, my dating life used to be land mine after land mine and I know all too well about the brain fuck of modern societies’ views on romantic love. And it’s time to stop shitting ourselves and get real about what truly enlightening love looks like.

Here’s what you need to know if you want a mindful relationship where you’re free to love fiercely and be loved rapturously:

1. LOVE THEM SO MUCH THAT YOU PISS THEM OFF
Relationships that are either dysfunctional or incredibly boring share one common trait: the lovers dance around one another trying not to piss each other off. The truth is, the best thing you can do is to be your wildest, most obnoxious self, especially around the people you want to keep in your life.

We’ve been through tremendous amounts of family programming, plus the societal conditioning that piles a ton of limiting beliefs on top of the unhealed trauma we’ve amassed over the years. As a result of our lived experiences, we develop vices and behavioral patterns for dancing around our true fears and desires. It becomes easier to surround ourselves with people who join in this dance with us, and to never even try to get off auto-pilot.

Being your awakened and audaciously high-maintenance self means dancing in the way of your lover, and interrupting their pattern. It means being the one who loves them enough to not enable them to keep re-living their past. So do not restrict your own beautiful range of expression to accommodate their sleep-walking.

Just being you, you are going to piss people off who’d rather not wake up—especially those closest to you. But it is an act of fierce love to make them deal with their shit instead of trying to make it easy for them.

It is your business to love, not to look the other way. But too often this is misunderstood, and people make it their business to keep the people they love comfortably numb. If you want to support the spiritual evolution of a person you’ve come to care deeply for, let yourself be difficult and speak your truth.

mindful relationship abstract lovers by Maria González on The Numinous

2. TELL THE TRUTH
The #1 reason relationships end is because the lovers prioritize their own sense of comfort over the relationship. The glue for any mindful relationship is emotional intimacy, for no intimacy means no connection, and therefore no point to the partnership.

In order to keep the juices flowing, you need to continuously gather the courage to say the things you almost daren’t. You have to have the courage to be vulnerable and to make yourself look like an idiot. You have to value the relationship more than the desires of your own ego.

You can either be comfortable or be loved. Because if you don’t step up and show yourself in all your messy glory, it is simply hard to love you. We need to see you, to be able to love you. Don’t blame your shallow conflicts about who bought the wrong toilet paper for the deterioration of your relationship.

Every conflict is an opportunity to stand up and tell the real truth. To throw your lover on the bed and to show them how deeply you want to be with them. Fuck them until they know how much you love them. Or to keep screaming and making up stories, so that you can stay comfortable and lonely. It is completely up to you to show up and give it your all.

mindful relationship abstract lovers by Maria González on The Numinous

3. HOLD THEM THE WAY YOU WANT THEM TO HOLD YOU
It is your job to see people for who they truly are. We all have a tendency to downplay our brilliance, to dim our lights, so that we can keep living within what feel like safe boundaries of being. If we never reveal our true nature, we will never make ourselves vulnerable, and we won’t be subject to any criticism.

But you know this won’t work.

By covering up what we really want and settling for something less, we are directing our creative force against ourselves. Playing small is lethal, because every heartfelt dream contains the energy to make it happen. If we pull back instead of going full blast, the energy intended to help you take massive action ends up being trapped in your body where it will slowly kill you.

Don’t let the people you love hurt themselves like that. See them for the genius they truly are. Remind them of how you see them and make a vow to only speak to their higher selves.

How do you want the people you love to show up for life? Don’t you want them to be empowered as creators, infinitely brilliant artists, and deeply loving souls? Hold them the way you want them to show up. Humans are forgetful, make it a habit to remind people of what they really need to understand about themselves.

This, is fierce love.

UNCONDITIONAL SELF-LOVE: A SACRED ROSE QUARTZ RITUAL

Learn how to use a Rose Quartz ritual as a tool for self-love and beautification. By Laurey Simmons of The Colourful Dot.

Rose Quartz ritual by The Colourful Dot hearts on The Numinous

What is it about children and their innate attraction to sparkly and beautiful things? I remember so clearly walking along the beach as a child, looking for the prettiest pebbles, just feeling so full of LOVE, even at this young age, for the beauty of Mother Earth and her magical powers.

This kind of instinctual love can become more difficult to access as we get older and our hearts carry more scars. And with Valentine’s Day approaching, this is a sacred moment for us to remember our innate sense of LOVE ENERGY – which Mother Earth can effortlessly remind us of, if we are open to receive.

Crystals are my direct path back to that instinctive childlike enchantment, and as a make-up artist and spiritual adventurer I have found magical ways of using them to help my clients embody inner and outer beauty. After all, nurturing our innate beauty is not an exercise in vanity, but actually a practice in bringing us closer to the divine.

For me, unconditional self-love is an essential ingredient of inner beauty. And one of my favourite tools to activate this aspect of our self is a Rose Quartz ritual. This gemstone works with the energies of the heart, gently nurturing compassion for self and other.

So how can you use a Rose Quartz ritual to awaken your inner goddess? A simple but very nurturing ritual I love weaves Rose Quartz into a bathing experience. Here’s how:

  • I always begin with spiritual cleansing of myself, my space and my crystals. I love to use the smoke of burning Palo Santo, a ‘holy wood’ from South America that was used in ancient ritual and ceremony to ward off bad energy.  It’s really important to make sure you open a window while cleansing, so that any energy you are wanting to be rid of can leave. Trailing the burning wood around myself and the Rose Quartz, I watch as the smoke travels and fades mystically, as if in a sacred dance. I instantly feel lighter. As I breathe in this rich, heavenly scent, I visualize the smoke spirits soaking up any negative energies, and kindly transporting these energies away.
  • Placing some flowers or a plant at the end of the bath will also allow you to drop deeply into the present moment. I often just gaze at the flowers, absorbed intimately with Mother Earth and all her natural beauty. I have this beautiful quote about flowers as a reminder:

“When you take a flower in your hand and really look at it, it’s your world for the moment.” – Georgia O’Keeffe.

  • To elevate your sense of smell, have a relaxing oil burning. I like to use Rose and Geranium oil with this specific ritual. As the aroma fills the air, I enter deeper into a meditative state, visualizing the molecules of scent travelling up through my nose, down my chest and into my heart centre. Here the scent is absorbed by a delicate pink rose, slowly opening its petals to reveal a white healing light.
  • With this image firmly rooted in my heart, I mindfully place the Rose Quartz pieces around the bath. I will usually have a blessing which I will speak when placing each stone. A great blessing for this ritual is: ‘“May I be bathed in the light of unconditional love.” I will also add some Rose Quartz tumble stones (small polished stones) to the water, so that when bathing, I’m fully immersed in the absolute and unconditional love of Mother Earth. Once in the bath, I then imagine the crystals surrounding me linking with each other in a loving, active embrace.
  • When your bathing ritual is over, it is important to ground yourself. I like to visualize tree-like roots anchoring me down to the core of Mother Earth as I dry myself.

Beyond bathing, I also recommend adding some magic to your morning beauty routine. Did you know you can use a Rose Quartz massage stone to apply moisturizer? In ancient times, Egyptian women added powdered Rose Quartz to their beauty potions to prevent wrinkles and to restore a glowing complexion. So, with gratitude and respect for the ancient beauty wisdom of our sister goddesses, I will apply the cream with my stone and visualize my face glowing with a white nourishing light, restoring my inner and outer beauty. An extra little tip to give you Rose Quartz energy on-the-go is to add one or two small Rose Quartz tumble stones into the cream itself, making sure you have cleansed and blessed the stones beforehand.

I hope this Rose Quartz ritual brings you the space to relight the flame of self-love and inner beauty. Here is one of my favorite passages on inner beauty to send you on your way:

“Beauty is life when life unveils her holy face.
But you are life and you are the veil.
Beauty is eternity gazing at itself in a mirror.
But you are eternity and you are the mirror.”

– Kahlil Gibran, excerpted from The Prophet (A Borzoi Book)

TEMPLE OF VENUS: A MEDITATION FOR MANIFESTING TRUE LOVE

Elyssa Jakim’s monthly Temple of Venus column returns…this time, ahead of Valentine’s day, with a meditation to feel and call in the love of your twin flame.

Elyssa on the Numinous

Hi, Venusian Friends! It’s almost Valentine’s Day, so let’s talk about LOVE.

A couple of years ago, someone mentioned a book to me called Calling in “The One”: 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life. At the same time, I took a spontaneous three-day trip to Tulum, Mexico, with my roommate in order to escape office banality in favor of much needed tropical revivification. As I sat on the veranda, with my fruit plate and copy of Calling in the One, I met a woman who had an inexplicably magical air. She showed me a book she’d written and asked me to open it up any page, akin to pulling an oracle card. I opened the page to a section called “soul mate” and we laughed for some time (since I was reading a book about soul mates!) And when I read the chapter in Sandra’s book, I found tears in my eyes.

Learning about the idea of soul mates in Tulum allowed for something to change in me. I had spent most of my twenties dating people who were distinctly not my soul mate or soul partner, people whom I thought were cool or aloof or better than I was. People who were unavailable, and who triggered deep insecurity in me, which made me hunt for affection and praise. I hid my intelligence from partners, thinking, strangely, that it made me less attractive. But I found myself opening up to the idea that the way to attract a partner, was to be simply be myself, and found myself considering that men too might be looking for this type of connection. This was revolutionary to me.

But the journey to letting this in took time. Essentially, it was a journey of claiming my worthiness and challenging my insecurities, as well as the programming of the jaded NYC dating scene. As well as a journey to claim something that I had always secretly believed in: true love. In the Now Age, phrases like “soul partner,” “twin flame,” “manifesting a partner” seem to be ubiquitous,  and the story always seems to be the same: love yourself first. Vibrate love and your person will come. In fact, we hear it so often it can sound hackneyed, unsatisfyingly vague, or too granola.

But we can choose to see it differently, with eyes of innocence, just like I chose to allow myself fall in love and be loved in Tulum. We can choose to believe that all of this talk of soul mates is, in fact, speaking to a growing phenomenon, a societal shift, a rallying against the bullshit of modern dating. The more people allow themselves to claim a desire for soul partnership and connection, the more the dating dirt is swept up and, well, the more love there is to go around.

While on my search for my inner confidence and true love, I developed an exercise that ultimately manifested my soul mate in real life. For Valentines Day, I would like to share this exercise with you. Of course use it as you like, and feel free to make any alterations you see fit.

:: A Meditation to Manifest Your Soul Partner ::

  1. Set aside some time for yourself to do this and set your space up. Light candles, put roses or lilies on your bed, anoint your body with essential oil, play soothing music, smudge your room with palo santo or sweetgrass. It’s particularly luxurious to do this before bed.
  2. Whether you’re sitting or lying down, feel the space that’s surrounding you. Feel the surface that’s underneath you and surrender your weight to it. Sigh out of your mouth a few times to release anything that you don’t need. Now feel the energy of the earth in any way that speaks to you. You can imagine fire from the warm core of the earth, tree roots going deep into the ground, your favorite tree, or hold a crystal and breathe in the earth element. The earth symbolizes the mother, the feminine principle. Once grounded, open up to the stars, the sun, the sky, the divine, the cosmic, the heavens. This starry energy (the more outward expression of God) symbolizes the father. Feel the play between these forces in your body: heaven and earth, mother and father, foot and crown.
  3. If you feel comfortable doing so, invite in your divine team in. (If not, skip this step.) Your divine team might include: ascended masters, angels, guides, spirit animals, fairies, mermaids, unicorns, and any other symbols that make you feel loved. Invite them by saying “I’m calling in Archangel Michael” (for example). Tell your team your hopes and fears. Say what you’re looking for in your mate, how doing this makes you feel, and what you desire. You can also speak this to a stuffed animal or crystal if you like!
  4. Ask to see your higher self. Does this bring forth a vision in your mind? A feeling? A sense of knowing? Stick with it. Now declare: “I would like to see the higher self of my soul partner.” See what comes up. Imagine your deep love, your spiritual lover. Feel his or her energy and see what it reveals to you. Have a conversation with him or her. Get to know them. Feel the unconditional love he or she has for you. Imagine this person in front of you is holding you tightly, is kissing you, is making love to you, is laughing with you, is smiling at you—whatever comes up is perfect. Feel held in this energy for as long as you like. Feel held in the arms of your beloved.
  5. When you’re ready, thank your divine team for coming in and tell them they are released. Send up a prayer for yourself, for love, for the planet, for anything and everything that feels good. Rest in the energy of your beloved. Imagine your soul partner holding you as you fall asleep.
  6. You can return to this place of soul-partner love whenever you like. Daydream about him/her, feel him, cultivate a fantasy relationship with them (yes, really! This is a sublimely fun game and it feels divine if you treat it as such). Let the dream world be playful and loving, let it fill your heart with hope and glee. Let him hold you every night as you go to sleep.

Connecting in this way made me so satisfied that by the time my bonafide flesh and blood person came in, I had already let go of the desire for a partner. That is because I already felt him right there next to me.

The most marvelous thing I discovered in pursuing this soul partnership is that the love is all the same. The love for a partner is the love for a child is the love for a beautiful flower or poem is the love for God is the love for creation is the love for a stranger who smiles at you on the street is the love for the sunset over Tulum’s luscious ocean. So try it out, beloved! I can tell you it has transformed my life and I hope it does the same for you. Here’s to true love.

I also recorded this meditation for you to listen to below.

In real life Venus hang time! : If you’re in Los Angeles this V-Day, Holy F*ck genius Alexandra Roxo and I are teaming up to create a special ritual for self-love and partnership, culminating with a sharing of aphrodisiac chocolate and tea, custom card pulls and one-on-one love advice. Find out more here.

Need more Venus inspiration? Check out Elyssa’s post from last month’s Temple of Venus column.

HELLO CHAKRUBS: YES, THAT’S A CRYSTAL DILDO

Forget the battery operated vibrator, and pick up a high-vibe, soul-opening crystal sex toy from Chakrubs. Founder Vanessa Cuccia shares her story with Gabriela Herstik.

Chakrubs founder Vanessa Cuccia on The Numinous
Chakrubs founder Vanessa Cuccia

 

Yes, Chakrubs are exactly what they sound like, and these high vibe crystal sex dildos are here to shake things up! Vanessa Cuccia, the #girlboss behind Chakrubs, is on a mission to promote self-love, acceptance and a whole lot of awareness with some super sensual playtime. And with a background in sex toys and holistic medicine, Cuccia is the natural choice in enlightening the world, one crystal dildo at a time. By combining the healing properties of crystals with sexual energy, and then pairing that with some sexy intention setting, Chakrubs allow you to really root into your pleasure. So whether you’re an amethyst kinda gal or you’re more into onyx, you can get your sexy on while giving yourself some extra TLC – Numinous style.

The Numinous: The crystal dildo – something we would never have thought of but…are totally into. How did you some up with this concept? Why crystals?
Vanessa Cuccia: 
Really, the idea was the result of a culmination of experiences and desires I had experienced since a young age. About age four when my mother had a paranormal experience that opened up many conversations about energy, God, conspiracy, and spirits in my household. My father is also a doctor of the spine, an inventor of a non-surgical medical device called Extentrac to help heal and alleviate back pain, so I also had influence in the importance of homeopathic health.

Chakrubs crystal dildo on The Numinous

 

My views on sexuality also played a major role in coming up with the concept. I had held my virginity in high regard, but when I had sex for the first time, I wasn’t ready. For many years, I struggled with feeling pleasure with another person. No sex toy on the market appealed to me, and yet I had a desire to explore my sexuality and remove shame around it. Crystals seemed like a natural and therapeutic option. Once I came up with the name and started telling people my idea, it was clear that this was something that was needed in the lives of many people, and the sex toy industry as a whole. The philosophy behind it being just as important as the product itself: self-love, self-awareness, and self-acceptance.

TN: How do the different stones used in each toy impact the experience?
VC:
Different stones have been used for thousands of years for their various metaphysical properties, since each stone vibrates at a different frequency. One may be best for opening the heart chakra for love, one may be best to open the throat chakra for communication and creativity. We suggest to our customers setting an intention with whichever Chakrub they choose. This way, each time they have a “session” with one, they are reminded of the growth they wish to achieve, the pain the wish to release, or the things they wish to manifest.

Chakrubs crystal dildo on The Numinous

TN: Chakrubs merge two really beautiful energies: raw stones and sexual energy. How do they aid one another?
VC:
Crystals have perfect molecular structures, providing a therapeutic vibration that we may benefit from just by being near them. Some of us are very sensitive to crystal energy. Some of us – not so much. For those who aren’t so sensitive, they may first become acquainted with this energy by first feeling their own sexual energy – since arousal is an easy signal to us that energy is flowing. This can lead to the realization that energy is all around us, and helping us flow in whatever circumstance we are in – in turn, helping us navigate all areas of our lives. The energy of a crystal dildo will simply amplify sexual energy, and sexual energy will amplify crystal energy. This works through focused attention and awareness.

 

 

TN: Also, total fans of the wordplay in “Chakrubs.” How does sacred playtime, with the aid of toys, help to balance the energy of the chakras?
VC:
 When we are truly rooted in our pleasure, comfortable and excited, our minds go into a state of meditation. It’s a place free of anxiety. This allows for a clean and unblocked flow of energy, and that flow can become more intense when our intention is also to allow this to happen. The combination of sexual energy, intention and the energy from the Chakrub is powerful medicine for our chakra, endocrine, and nervous system.

Chakrubs crystal dildo on The Numinous

TN: One of the most beautiful parts of your mission is to encourage love, especially self-love and acceptance. How does using a crystal dildo facilitate more love, acceptance and awareness?
VC:
 The philosophy behind Chakrubs is self-love, self-awareness, and acceptance. As such, this mission is instilled in each of the products, and there to be connected with each time a person uses a Chakrub, and sexual arousal with the use of Chakrubs becomes a signal to remember and tap into the ideas of self-love, spiritual growth, and awareness.

 

 

TN: How do you think being aware and vocal about your needs, sexually and emotionally, can help spiritual growth?
VC:
Spiritual growth IS self-awareness. It is understanding that everything that happens is happening as it needs to in order to facilitate growth. Removing fear and shame (or rather, not holding on to these feelings) from the part of ourselves that is meant to receive and give pleasure is a potent place to start on a spiritual path.

TN: What’s your advice for someone who is hesitant to experiment and use a sex toy? What’s the one thing you wish someone had told you?
VC:
If someone is hesitant to use a sex toy, don’t use a sex toy! However, if someone is hesitant to use a sex toy but still desires to use a sex toy – figure out what’s scaring you, do your research, and explore! Work towards understanding who you are, and what you need to feel pleasure. This is really about learning to understand and speak of your flaws as points of empowerment. To honor your whole self and your desires.

Discover more at Chakrubs.com

A REVOLUTIONARY ENERGY: READING FOR THE AQUARIUS NEW MOON

This lunar cycle, you might feel unstoppable. Master your energies during this Aquarius New Moon to set your intentions for the months ahead, says Hannah Ariel.

Aquarius new moon Feb 2016 on The Numinous

This is the New Moon that may have you feeling it’s now or never – and, it may as well be! The nature of an Aquarius New Moon is idiosyncratic – how it speaks to you will be different from how it speaks to another, and yet one message is clear: something has to change. Aquarius is revolutionary – this energy waits for no one, trusting its own clarity of mind to distinguish what needs to happen next for the future’s sake. Once a year the timing is just right to set intentions that you want to see have a ripple effect – the boundaries of time reach far into the future. Something’s gotta give and the time is NOW.

Sometimes, events set off by an Aquarius New Moon may appear to occur “out of the blue” – really, these events occur as an expression of the Sun being in Aquarius, energizing you with a liberating energy that allows you to recognize your right to experience your own personal freedom – to detach you from all that is keeping you from awakening to the truth that, at any given time, if something needs to be innovated, released, said, done, or acted upon IT CAN. It’s like the moment you restart your computer or refresh your browser; it doesn’t necessarily matter what you were up to just moments before because, in an instant, it’s going to be about how you use your energy, the technology, now. That’s how progressive this moon will be.

With a revitalizing boost from two major planetary forces, this Aquarius New Moon can make you unstoppable. You will be energized to make resolute shifts in both your perceptions and actions at once. Uranus in Aries urges; innovate NOW, open your mind to the prospect of what is possible for you personally. And Saturn in Sagittarius reminds; the dharma of these days is to create structures that will support your future’s expansion. With these two in trine with one another, and in a working sextile with the moon on February 8th, there is nothing and nobody standing in your way but potentially your own indifference. Otherwise, it is GO time.

In the background, Venus, Mercury and Pluto are all going direct in Capricorn, offering us profound realizations regarding our attachments and whether or not they are serving or detracting from the Plutonian soul-path we’re on. Since Capricorn does come before Aquarius think of this time as a “cleaning of the closet” – an opportunity to mentally get on board with the transformations you may be experiencing in relationships, as well as other Venus related matters. Venus in Capricorn speaks to your financial security and your ability to attract what you need by acknowledging your own authority and accountability.

Know that accountability, self-mastery, self-trust and inner resolve will indeed be major themes now, as this lunar cycle is also being driven by a square from Mars in Scorpio. Give deliberate attention to the Scorpio area of your personal chart as lessons here will have EXTENSIVE influence on how your intentions play out over the next few months, as Mars will be journeying in and out of Scorpio for quite some time.

To delve further, if you recall from 2012-2015, when Saturn cut through the constellation of Scorpio, we were taught some serious lessons around how we merge our energy with other people, places, resources, ideologies; you name it. These were transformative years where we learned the energetic power of boundaries. Life forced us to get real and see where we may have unconsciously been giving our power away, undermining our deeper desires and truths out of fear of losing control altogether; over these years, we were cracked open in order to understand what gives us LIFE.

Well, these lessons will come up again now, but this time, with Mars in the driving seat, we have an amazing opportunity to liberate and take conscious action to create more a more sophisticated intimacy with our vitality. We will be compelled to give these inner lessons shape in our external world. With Mars square the Aquarius New Moon there is an enormous amount of energy available now, before Mars goes retrograde in April, to choose what stays and what must go once and for all – may it be a lover, a destructive habit, an unhealthy belief about yourself – you can let it go now. It’s done. Refresh the page. Get something else going that will strengthen your will more than ever before.

The future is all that matters now. And not to forget, the most sincere and beautiful quality of Aquarian energy is that it is concerned with creating a future that is being created for the beneficial good of all. It is pure good will. So, whatever you begin, end, or claim in this lunar cycle will be most empowered if it contributes to the prosperity of the collective in the long run. Have a wild idea about where you belong? What to launch next? How you can help someone? Who you have the power to be? How your own story can inspire others? Give it a go. Free yourself, master your energies and you may, in a very Aquarian fashion, be shocked to find how much others needed you to do so.

For a personal reading with Hannah Ariel email: [email protected]

TALKING TALISMANS WITH LAURA LEE JEWELLERY

Purveyor of talismans and mystical amulets for the Now Age, Laura Lee shares her story and the symbolism behind her work with long-time fan Ruby Warrington…

IMAGE1

As a rookie journalist working in Central London over a decade ago, I would walk past a little store on my way to work each day. Time permitting (there was always time), I’d stop and drink in the delicate pieces of jewelry that seemed to me to be especially infused with meaning.

The maker’s name was Laura Lee, and when my birthday rolled around that year there was only one thing on my wish list – a simple pearl pendant that was both as captivating and mysterious to me as the Moon. Generous lover that he is, my husband obliged.

This was long before I discovered my Moon was in Cancer, the astrological sign associated with the pearl – but I treasured my new amulet just the same, and it became the first of many talismans I have loved, and sadly lost, over time.

How thrilled was I then, to have the opportunity to collaborate with Laura on this post for The Numinous – in which she shares her journey with the stars and the personal talismans that are the touch points of her creative life.

The Oracle Multi-Coin Necklace £485
The Oracle Multi-Coin Necklace £485

Ruby Warrington: Why do you feel like talismans have such an important role to play in modern women’s wardrobes?
Laura Lee: I believe it’s part of the human condition to question our existence on this incredible planet, the answers to which can be so mysterious and overwhelming we often feel the need of some support to make it through. Looking to the stars and other belief systems can help us in this pursuit, and since I reject the concept of most organised religions, astrology and the use of crystals and talismans is something I can relate to instead.

Beyond this, the need to protect ourselves and our loved ones is a primal and fundamental instinct and our “armor” can be worn in the form of amulets and talismans. I feel very exposed without my layers of necklaces, while I feel like I’m also sharing my story by showing them to the world.

Diamond Set Star Drop Earrings £250, $360.57
Diamond Set Star Drop Earrings £250

RW: What is your story? What makes you, you?
LL: Part of my story is my double Leo personality, but it’s also in my mixed heritage and nomadic early life. My dad is a quarter Australian Aboriginal, quarter Chinese, quarter Japanese and quarter German, and my mum is English-Irish. I was born in London, have also lived in the States and Australia, and have travelled extensively – I am equally at home on many different continents.

RW: And what other personal pieces do you wear?
LL: My grandmother’s emerald and diamond ring and my Aunty Stella’s gold band (which was my other grandmothers wedding ring – my Dad and Stella’s mixed-race aboriginal mother). These pieces bring them closer to me and remind me of their lives and loves and adventures. Another amulet that I don’t wear but have near me always is my mother’s charm-laden bracelet, the piece that was responsible for becoming a jeweler. The charms tell the story of my mother’s journey – beginning in London, it was an adventure that finished up in Sydney, via America, Europe and Asia.

Laura Lee Jewellery Diamond Luna Ring on The Numinous
Diamond Luna Ring, $485

RW: What’s been your personal journey with astrology? And what have been the biggest teachings of the practice for you?
LL: I was very interested in astrology, the I-Ching and all things mystical as a teenager, and I had my chart done when I was about 20 and trying to work out what to do with my life. The astrologer I saw told me I would have two boys, which came to pass, and then there was a mysterious Scottish man who I’m still waiting for… 🙂 But she also told me I would always be a maker and work using my hands, which has also been true.

RW: What aspects of your chart do you relate most strongly to?
LL: I’m a double Leo which makes me pretty determined and stubborn – good qualities if you want to stick to something as long as I have with my business. I’m passionate too, which keeps me driven to create.

RW: Do you wear the symbol of your sun, moon, or rising sign? Why?
LL: Leo is ruled by the Sun, and I am very partial to the Egyptian and Mexican tradition of worshipping the sun gods. Visiting ancient Mayan and Egyptian sites made a very deep impression on me creatively.

Laura Lee Jewelry Necklaces
Soleil Gold Coil Necklace (front shows Sun design), £445

RW: And what’s your relationship to the symbolism of the moon?
LL: I was born in the 1960s and so the quest to put a man on the Moon, and to then actually see men walking on its surface was pretty mind blowing. It’s stuck with me throughout my life – although it was actually the view of Earth from the Moon that probably remains the most wondrous image of my lifetime. So to me, the moon symbolizes adventure, the vastness of our galaxy, and the incredible inspiration of human endeavour.

RW: What does the wheel of fortune symbolize for you? How can we all work with this talisman?
LL: I’ve always been intrigued by the concept of luck, and how whole lives can be determined by the seemingly random nature of when and where you are born, and to whom. And so in my collections, the Wheel of Fortune reflects the capricious nature of fate. Worn as a talisman, it’s a reminder to take advantage of the opportunities we have born into a certain culture, place and time. My mantra is always not to waste time – carpe diem and make the most of your days, because life seems to go so quickly. I always feel blessed that I was born in London and in a time of (relative) safety.

To find out more about Laura’s current collection visit Lauraleejewellery.com 

HOLY F*CK! MAKING AMENDS WITH MY EXES

In the first installment of her column Holy F*ck, Alexandra Roxo decides making amends with her exes is the next step on the path of awakening…Photo Credit: Louise Androlia

Alexandra Roxo Holy F*ck making amends on The Numionus

In the last nine months of being “single” I have done a LOT of work trying to figure out my love life/self/astro chart/addictions/blahblah. Some of that “work” was on Tinder but no need to get into that…yet. Anyway, I decided that in order to move on and clear the slate I would make amends with all my exes. I was having a John Cusack in High Fidelity moment where he’s like, “What’s wrong with me? Why did all my relationships ‘fail’? I should probably seek out and bother everyone I’ve ever dated in order to figure out what it is about me!” Which seems pretty narcissistic, I know.

But the way I saw it, this wasn’t about narcissism or figuring out what was wrong with me. I don’t believe in relationship ‘failure’ anyway. It was about wanting to neutralize our energy, so I wasn’t carrying around a bunch of ‘eugh’ and ‘agchk’ vibes towards a bunch of people that I once loved, had sex with, and maybe even told that I wanted to have their babies…Plus the fact that in order to really move on to new love, I feel it’s important to unpack any potential baggage that is weighing us down. Justin Bieber’s words “Is it too late now to say sorry?” kept echoing through my mind.

No one taught me how to do this and I was just going off intuition, though I had heard it was a part of AA and some program called Landmark that sounded trés culty.  So I consulted my teachers. Marianne. Jesus. Marianne again. She says many things about making amends, but this stuck with me: “Forgiveness is the choice to see people as they are now. When we’re mad at people, we’re angry because of something they said or did before this moment. By letting go of the past we make room for miracles to replace our grievances.”

So at first I thought, should I write everybody a letter? Hmm, it felt kind of like a wimpy way out, like I could just get something off my chest without hearing their (potentially not so charitable) side of the story. So instead I reached out to what had been my biggest primary relationships individually, and suggested we sit down for a drink.

Now yes, it is a little tricky to suggest “just a drink” with an ex – I mean what happens if two vodkas in, the romance spontaneously rekindles itself and you find yourself making out?! #RiskyBusiness. I knew this was a possibility, and yet “coffee” seemed sooooo formal. I mean these are people that have held you at your darkest hour / made you cum many times. Wine, my friends. Wine.

Alexandra Roxo Holy F*ck making amends on The Numionus

So I sat down with my first ex. This was someone I’d only dated for about six months after having sex on her NFL sheets where she kept saying: “You’re such a dime” while she came. After that she wooed me with a Jaws movie night complete with steamed crab legs and champagne, and we fell in love. She was the kind of person who danced with me to Motown in the kitchen, ate gluten free because I did, and gave me orgasms where I legit saw rainbows of light. (FYI this is called “synethesia.”)

So it was real RUDE of me to ghost on her. When we sat down three years later to reconnect at a mediocre spot in Williamsburg, I apologized first, went into my spiel about being grateful for all of the wonderful things she did for me, all the ways she put up with my neuroses, and how much I’d grown up…while she gulped down some rosé, looked at me and said: “You really fucked me up.”

To which I replied: “I am NOT going to own that, because whatever expectations you put on the relationship are what made you feel that way. I PERSONALLY couldn’t make you feel that way.” But then I remembered this was not about patting myself on the back or being right.

So I said “I am really sorry for my actions. For yelling at you. Being mean. And for checking out when things got tough. I am truly sorry.” We walked through the park quietly after that and haven’t spoken since. She seems happy, I like her Instagram photos on the reg, and I’ll probably text her on her birthday. CHECK.

Next I saw the guy who was my last boyfriend before I somehow gave up men and dated women for six years. With him, I was a little bit nervous. I had dumped him in cold blood for my first girlfriend and…blamed it on the fact he wasn’t spiritual enough. He was an atheist, and I knew I couldn’t date an atheist or raise children with an atheist, so why bother, ya know?

We met at a dive bar. I was nervous, and he’s still hot. Even hotter now. I fondly remembered a time we had sex in the pool at my dad’s condo and the security people taped it and bribed my dad with it. Cut to my internal dialogue: “What if I’m not strong enough? Should I wear lace panties just in case? No. Don’t even shave. Ugggh. Okay. Fine.” When I told him, “Hey, I’m sorry for how much of a crazy diva I was,” he just gave me a cute smile and said: “Don’t worry mama” in that way that had always made me melt. Then he scooted off to help another ex gf move house. THIS IS EASY RIGHT? Hmm, not so fast…

Alexandra Roxo Holy F*ck making amends on The Numionus

Next was the hot, fast, love affair that happened the summer I was living very gypsy-like, i.e. out of a suitcase and on an air mattress. She showed up at 3am at the place I was house sitting with a bottle of tequila, told me she was dying, cried, fucked me, and I was like “SIGN ME UP!” Then things got really bad between us. She was going through some dark stuff, I was going through a rough patch with my family. I was also living in my creative partner’s office, trying to make art, struggling with addictions, chain smoking…

I recognized that I had to get it together which I thought meant cutting her out. When I told her “No mas!” she cried and told me she vomited for days and had to go to the doctor for an IV, and I basically couldn’t deal. So I blocked her. And from then on, anytime people said her name it was like horror film music started to play…

Needless to say I was VERY nervous to meet up with this one. But I did my energy protection ritual, marched in, drank only half a glass of wine for safety and told her I was sorry and that she caught me when I was in such a dark place. She smiled a really cute smile and was like “It’s okay. We both were.” And we proceeded to talk about our mutual friends and though I lustfully admired her long sinewy fingers I emerged from the bar thinking: “Oh. My. God…we’re friends, we’re friends!” But soon she started texting me and asking me out again to which I politely declined, repeatedly. Eventually she caught on.

The upshot of making amends this way, has been that I’ve realized it’s never too late to take responsibility for your actions, and create a different ending to your story with an ex. You might think: “Oh, what’s done is done is done is done.” But what if you could make something else, something better, the last thing that happened between you? It could even be something random like sending them a box of chocolates or a bottle of champagne, with a note like: “Sorry, I was awful.” No two making amends are alike.

I didn’t need to see my most recent ex (Yogi_Vegan_Lez Orian) since we made amends in semi-real time. It felt and still feels like a MIRACLE OF GOD. Painful, but evolved. We Facetime a lot, often while I’m driving in LA and while she’s on a toilet in Brooklyn. And when I came to NY last we karaoked our song “Islands in the Stream” from Youtube like old times.

I hope from here on out I can try as much as possible to make amends in real time. Which means a) not numbing out from feelings when the going gets tough (umm hi marijuana / alcohol / sugar) and b) Stepping up and taking responsibility for my actions quickly and not stuffing anything away.

When I think back on my exes now no more waves of darkness descend upon me, and no more sob stories about how they were assholes etc run through my mind. Now when I think of them I smile and imagine them saving the planet, curing cancer, etc etc.

Next making amends I’m doing is with myself – because it’s my longest and most important relationship, and arguably the one I need to forgive the most. But for now I’ll take Obama’s apology.

LOVE YOURSELF: A BODY WORSHIP RITUAL

Learn how worship your body with the same reverence you show when entering a sacred space of prayer, says Kitty Cavalier.  Artwork: Pedro Sacadura

Pedro Sacadura on The Numinous

As a little girl, I loved volunteering to clean my church after mass on Sundays. My family and a few other parish members would polish the pews, switch out the flowers on the altar, sweep the long processional aisle of dust bunnies and organize the hymnals. As a very devoted little Catholic girl, I felt like I was being given a backstage pass to my favorite concert. Tending and caring for what I considered God’s house was a huge honor and made me feel quite elite.

As time (read: puberty) went by, my beliefs about religion began to shift tremendously. As Mae West once said: “I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.” The church no longer felt even remotely like home – and as for many of us, my spiritual path since has followed more of a curve than a straight line. But there’s been one constant throughout: my body.

“My body is my temple” – it sounds so cliché. But let’s really think about it for a second. A temple is defined as “a space devoted to religious reverence,” and I can think of no greater house of worship than the cathedral of my very own heart. There is no holier a song than the sweet hum of my inhale and exhale. The light in my eyes mirrors the warmth of a candle’s flame. My skin houses and protects me like the smooth, lavish marble of the Taj Mahal, and the flush of my cheeks after an orgasm can put the ceiling of Sistine chapel to shame.

Yes, my body IS my temple. So today I’d like to share with you one of my personal favorite rituals to start 2016 off right: body worship. There is no way to do this ritual wrong. Just like learning a prayer or a hymn, a little heart, a sprinkling of soul, and practice is all it takes.

Pedro Sacadura on The Numinous

Suggested supplies for this body worship ritual:

  • Body Oil (such as coconut oil)
  • A mirror propped against a wall
  • A body scrub (like some sea salt mixed with body oil), or a loofah
  • A towel
  • Candlelight, incense, flowers, or anything else that helps you set sacred space
  • Music: click here for a free, hand-curated Body Worship Ritual playlist

1. Set Sacred Space
Imagine you are setting space for the high holy days of your inner temple. You can light candles, burn incense, place rose petals on your bath mat, fold your towel as you would for a guest, play music, or anything else that evokes the spirit of the sacred for you.

2. Tending The Temple Grounds
Step into the shower or bath. As you wash and scrub your skin, do so with the same care, attention and tenderness that you would show to the house of the Divine. Scrub and loofah your elbows and knees with the same softness and reverence you would show when walking into a sacred temple. Imagine that as you caress your body with soap suds, every bubble of soap is like a flower laid down in offering at the altar of YOU. When you rinse your body, feel the water wash away that which no longer serves you, and it’s healing power to make space for something new to enter.

3. The Sacrament of Body Worship
Now you have prepared the temple, you are ready for ceremony and worship! Place a soft blanket or towel on the floor in front of your mirror. Position yourself naked by candlelight seated on the floor and bow to the beauty of your reflection. Take the body oil and warm it between your holy hands, using your breath to blow a prayer of gratitude into the oil. Then, allow your hands to be both pilgrim and priestess, as they slowly, reverently massage prayers into your skin. Approach each curve and corner of your body as a different room in the temple waiting to be explored.

4. Encountering Eternity
When you feel complete with your body worship, get very close to the mirror. Stare deep into your own eyes and see if you can glimpse the part of you that is eternal, that never ages, and transcends time. Just like that sense of divinity we feel when we walk on sacred ground, that spirit is right there, woven into the fibers of your DNA. All that’s required to encounter it, is the courage to really look.

TEMPLE OF VENUS: HOW TO WORK WITH GODDESS VENUS

Sexual healing, and access to your abundance mindset. Elyssa Jakim introduces a new monthly column devoted to the Goddess Venus…

Elyssa Jakim goddess venus column on The Numious
Portrait: Keith Barraclough

In the summer of 2015, the Numinous and I teamed up to create an interactive art installation and event space called the Temple of Venus. As an altar to the goddess Venus the installation served as a healing space: the events at the Temple were a way to address our questions and questings regarding love, sexuality, beauty, money and everything else Venus touches. So why did we choose Venus? Who is she? How might the goddess inspire and impact your life? How are you already an embodiment of Venus? All questions I want to answer with this column!

Six months after creating the temple, Venus has not stopped working with and guiding me. And so this is a space for me to share some Venetian wisdom each month, to help get our juicy, abundant, sexual, prosperous selves truly flowing.

Venus is the Roman goddess of love, beauty, sexuality, abundance, desire, fertility, and finances. She is known as Aphrodite in Greek mythology. Astrologically, the planet Venus (don’t you love when your goddess is also a planet?) rules relationships. So, for example, if you’re born with Venus in Scorpio, your way of being with and relating to people is imbued with the energy of a fiercely loyal and passionate Scorpio.

Katerina Alivizatou Goddess Venus on The Numinous
Artist: Katerina Alivizatou

Goddess Venus teaches us to be accepting of all facets of our womanhood and sexuality. In fact, one of the qualities that separate Venus from the Aphrodite myth, is that Venus was also the goddess of prostitutes. She allows for sexuality to be fluid, to exist in a space without judgment. In her brilliant book, Ecstasy is Necessary: A Practical Guide, celebrated tantra teacher Barbara Carrellas offers the reader a “sexual permission slip” or a series of permissive statements about how one can choose to regard sex.

A particularly strong one is: “I give myself permission to talk about sex as a safe, sane, and consensual act that brings health and pleasure to the world.” Venus celebrates this perspective. I find Venus to be a powerful goddess for sexual healing because she shows us that sex is beautiful. She shows us that sex is a gift of pleasure from the Divine, and she helps us tap into that pleasure.

When preparing for a ceremony in the temple with Lyndsey Harrington and Kat Hunt of Moon Church, we decided to invoke the goddess Venus and tune into her energy in order to decide how to best serve her with our ritual. We were flooded with her essence: it felt orgasmic and ecstatic, yummy and beautiful. She told us that she loved milk, honey, pearls, gold, kisses, and roses. And Kat said that she felt it showed that as well as the goddess Venus, the other Greek and Roman gods and goddesses are waiting for us connect with them.

This message was eye-opening to me. I realized that in much of my goddess worship and ceremony, I had never thought of the Greek and Roman goddesses as vital, present, divine forces waiting to help us. I’d worked with the Divine Mother Mary and Kwan Yin before but never with a Greco-Roman goddess directly. What I’ve since learned is that Venus is so ready to bestow her love and magic and beauty upon those who are willing to invoke her with an open heart. And that she can help you tap into your sexual and goddess essence and your sense of worthiness in such deep ways.

In fact, Venus is a symbol of the divine feminine (and remember we use the Venus symbol “♀” to mean “female”). Venus was born of the water, and water is a sublimely gorgeous metaphor for the female principal. Water receives, it takes in. It is abundance, it is creation, it is sensitive, it is psychic, it is adaptable. As women, as birthers, we are able to tap into the deep waters of creation and imagination.

Water is our element, and the goddess Venus reminds us to claim all of its gifts. In working with her directly, we learn how to be better receivers, better lovers, and better mothers to ourselves and others. And the planet Venus has a twin flame: it is the planet Earth. May this column honor the waters of Earth and the fires of our twin planet to create cosmic balance and upliftment for all.

Up next month: A Venus-inspired meditation for calling in your soulmate.

HEY GOOD LOOKIN: WHEN’S YOUR VENUS RETURN?

We celebrate our birthday once a year, right? Wrong – you also have a beauty birthday, says Kimberly Peta Dewhirst of Star Sign StyleArtwork: My Dinh via Behance.net

My Dingh on The NuminousWait, what does your “beauty birthday” even mean?!

Your traditional birthday is also known as your “Solar Return,” referring to when the sun (solar) returns to the place in the zodiac where is was when you were born. Hence how we coined the phrase: “Many happy returns!”

And so your beauty birthday is when Venus, planet of all things aesthetic, makes the same repeat visit.

Now you might already know your Venus sign, which says lots about the way you shop, flirt, dress up, and conduct friendships – your Venus sign reflects your tastes, and the image of your Venus zodiac sign can provide an aspirational archetype to express yourself through.

For example, if you’re a Pisces with Venus in Aries, imagine a hot, feisty passionate woman as your fashion and beauty muse (i.e. Pisces Rihanna, who has Moon and Venus in Aries). Your Sagittarius woman with Venus in Scorpio meanwhile, will totally gravitate towards a sultry look, a little more mysterious and private than the typical jovial nature of the archer (think of Sagittarius plus Scorp Katie Holmes).

And at some point during every year (for about one or two days), planet Venus is also in the exact position she was when you were born. Now, because of the constant nature of the Sun and its path through the zodiac signs we know that our birthday falls on the same day every year, making it super easy to plan a get-together.

My Dinh on The NuminousVenus, on the other hand, can go retrograde (as we found out last year!) and so it’s not so straightforward calculating your “beauty birthday” – but it’s definitely worth it.

Why? Because your beauty birthday is when the stars are aligned for you personally when it comes to looking your best, attracting the right relationships, and getting a great deal on any luxury purchases you’re planning to make. Matters around money and your female relations can go well too – essentially, all things Venusian. (Hint: watch out for tomorrow’s special post on the Goddess Venus for more intel!)

So when Venus returns to the position of your “natal Venus” in your chart, this is no time to hide away – instead, come out, get dressed up to the nines, and celebrate your beauty birthday! Make it a time to indulge your senses, surround yourself with friends and notice how you attract likeminded people.

In fact, why not invest in a fabulous piece for the occasion? It’s a great day to get a new haircut, or even make-over your look at your favorite beauty counter.

Knowing the position of your “natal Venus” (where Venus appears in your birth chart), you’ll be aware when the planets are vibrating on her too – for example, you could have a slow moving planet like Pluto or Uranus passing over your personal planet of love, offering their transformative qualities to your relationships by “transit.” Invaluable information to have at your fingertips, I think you’ll agree!

My Dinh on The Numinous

Want to know your beauty birthday? Order a 2016 Astrological Calendar and Kimberly will calculate your beauty birthday for the coming year. Simply include your time, date and place of birth in the order notes (and try and get your time of birth as close as possible).

Kimberly’s brilliant calendar also includes the path of Venus in 2016, as well as the sign the Moon is passing through each day. The below YouTube video tells you more!

https://youtu.be/V03h4iiiUE0

AQUARIAN ALCHEMY: NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS FOR THE NOW AGE

In the Age of Aquarius, your New Year resolutions are about accepting your role in working towards a new Earth, says Fern Olivia. Artwork: Christine Belanger

Aquarian assignment for the now age kundalini yoga on The Numinous

“The Age of Aquarius will be the Age of experience, in which people of experience will be liked, respected, worshipped, talked to, and understood.” – Yogi Bhajan, Sensory System of the Aquarian Age, August 1, 2000

The Earth rotates on an axis and the line going through the center of the earth has a slight wobble to it, which happens about once every 24,000 years. “This cycle has been broken into 12 parts associated with the 12 astrological signs, based on which constellation the axis is wobbling towards. From 0 A.D. to the present we have been in the Age of Pisces. For the next 2000 years we will be in the Aquarian Age. We have been in the transition from the Piscean Age to the Aquarian Age for the last 50 years. The official beginning of the Aquarian Age is November 11, 2011.” – 3HO

And every person on planet Earth has been and will be affected by this shift.

So what does this mean for us and our New Year resolutions, Numinous beings?

During this time, our life lessons and assignments will test the development of our sensory system, which essentially is the development of our creative self. As my teacher Guru Jagat explains it, to connect to “the sublime sensory self concept” in the Aquarian Age, we need to fully understand both our abilities and our strengths.

Think about the sensory system as an open circuit; open enough to circulate energy through it and experience the world. Being “open” allows us to move through the world in an inspired way, but also as a Warrior Saint – so we’re not just being open and loving, but living with the conscious intention to be brave and stand in our highest truth.

Seen in this way, the Aquarian Age is asking us to lead and inspire and develop ourselves in a way that will blaze a trail for the next evolution of humankind. And having been birthed at this moment in time makes this our divine destiny.

As such, we have all been given assignments of the Aquarian Age, designed to help make our lives more easeful. Accept these assignments, and we will excel in our work and our relationships, and manifest everything meant for our destiny, so we can play our part in healing the suffering on this planet.

In my work with clients on lifestyle design and conscious communication, I have noticed three main assignments that keep showing up. I’ve also accepted these assignments in my own life and have done years of work – deep introspection, kundalini yoga, and meditation – to strengthen my sensory system and radiant body.

The result: Magic. Miracles. Manifestation.

The sooner we all recognize these lessons and stop the patterns of self-sabotage that may have been deeply engrained in our subconscious, perhaps even handed down through our lineage, we can move forward and live a beautifully radiant, Numinous life.

:: THREE KEY ASSIGNMENTS FOR THE AQUARIAN AGE ::

1) Embracing Self Love, Self Worth, and Self Respect
“The fact is, there is nothing more beautiful, more worthy, or more conscious than you. The time has come for self-value. And the question is not: ‘To be or not to be.’ The statement is: ‘To be, to be.’ ‘I am, I AM.’ – Yogi Bhajan

For years, I struggled with an autoimmune hypothyroid condition that resulted in chronic fogginess, weight gain, puffiness and all-over yuckiness – and as a result, felt broken, unsexy, unworthy, and insecure in my relationships and in my career.

Finally, my mentors and dear friends Elena Brower and Donnalynn Civello asked me: “Why are you sabotaging yourself? You are pure light. If only YOU could see you like everyone else sees you.”

BOOM. That hit home for me. I realized I had to stop giving up my power by calling myself “broken” and acting “insecure.”

In any situation, we have the ability to respond in two ways.

A. With fear, judgement, and self-doubt
B. With self-love, self-worth, and fearless creative expression

We absolutely need to choose the latter.

It is our responsibility (ability to respond) to show up and step up, to open ourselves up to receiving abundance and prosperity (pro spirit – living in alignment with our spirit). We can only live in this way when we fully accept ourselves and get out of our own way.

It is our responsibility to this planet.

2) Living with Integrity and Authenticity
“Those who hustle and hassle and move and want will suffer. They will not get what they want. Now the time has come that we will have a meditative mind to wait and see what comes to us. Our minds will direct us to work toward the right channels. And we will meet the right people.” – Yogi Bhajan

Our work will thrive when we are in alignment with our divine truth. When we lead with our purpose, our dharma, inspiring people, positive experiences, and abundant wealth will naturally flow to us.

I learned this lesson when I was working in finance and my health was suffering, as my Hashimoto’s Hypothyroid symptoms were at their peak. I felt like a zombie sleepwalking in a life that wasn’t mine. It was a low vibration situation, and the people I attracted in my life were on a similar path – everyone around me complained about the hamster wheel they were on, yet no one was consciously leaping off.

I knew I had a bigger purpose on this planet than entering data into spreadsheets, and I was ready to change; I was fed up with the constant complaining, the toxic, superficial conversations, and widespread scarcity mindset.

When I left my corporate career and began my spiritual path as a healer, I found the transition to be easeful and seamless. Everyone around me was utterly shocked – but I was not surprised. I have been guided by my intuition, so it feels natural that opportunities just seem to magically show up around me. I have a daily meditation practice where I don’t simply silence my mind. Instead, I listen, I download information that guides me on my path and leads me to prosperity. I am guided.

We all are.

When it feels like we are continuously hitting walls, we need to take a step back and ask ourselves whether we are truly doing what feels authentic. Anytime the answer is “no” (be honest!) we must re-evaluate our situation and project forward with integrity.

When we recognize patterns of jealousy, competition and scarcity, we immediately acknowledge these feelings with the ability to reprogram our thoughts, shifting to compassion and gratitude.

When we lead our lives with truth and dignity, the Universe shows up with offerings of wealth and abundance. We no longer have to be victim to the scarcity mindset that there will never be enough. There is always enough for those who are doing spiritual work, for those living in alignment with their true purpose.

In the Aquarian Age, it can be no other way.

3) Communication and Self-Expression in Relationships
“We will master ourselves through our service, through our character, through our commitment, and through the most powerful thing that we have—our grace. Our individual grace is the most wanted quality today. And our projection, which will give us satisfaction, fulfillment, and exaltation, is our nobility. We will act nobly, graciously, kindly, and compassionately. These are our essential features.” – Yogi Bhajan

Being a Sensory Human in the Aquarian Age will affect all of our personal and professional relationships. In this Age, we are tested to recognize patterns of co-dependency, insecurity, and mistrust.

For six years, I was in a relationship with a man whom I loved very deeply, but our relationship could not work because we weren’t evolving together and I found myself scared to speak up and communicate what I needed in the relationship.

I never told him how I was feeling, or how his words or actions hurt me, until finally they weighed me down so much that my body got very, very sick. Why? I was simply too scared to speak up. Frightened to the point where I would sacrifice my own needs because I didn’t want to risk rejection, judgment, or an argument.

The fear of asking for what I needed in relationships, essentially holding my fear inside, brought stress to my whole glandular system, and when I don’t release that stress by speaking freely, the blockages bring up my autoimmune hypothyroid symptoms.

I thought I had a pattern dating “emotionally unavailable” men. It was not them who were unavailable, however. It was my OWN voice, which I was too afraid to speak. I never asked for what I wanted – when it came to intimacy, emotional support, or simply what I needed in order to feel heard and loved.

Energetically we are so aligned with our emotions that our physical bodies can either hurt or heal depending how we are living our life. Just think about how chronic stress can affect our health. The same concept holds true for the inability to express ourselves – creatively in our work, honesty with our business partners or clients, or in our relationships.

When Sensory Human beings meet, the attraction is timeless, limitless, and forever. Relationships that will thrive in the Aquarian Age are productive and free of guilt. These are relationships formed and sustained with sincerity, with conscious communication, with integrity.

Our work in the Aquarian Age is deep.

We must remember our worth, our responsibility to our integrity, and communicate consciously with all we come into contact with.

And as we strengthen our sensory system, our full expression of our creative self, we can ease the suffering on this planet. So we create a new society, a new humanity that is filled with love instead of fear. Ease instead of worry. Abundance instead of scarcity.

Connect with Fern Olivia and receive your Radiance Blueprint, a guided meditation journey at FernOlivia.com

PEACE ON EARTH: A PRAYER FOR THE PLANET

Recorded for The Numinous in August 2015, during Guru Jagat’s RaMa Glastonbury Retreat, Rebecca Campbell‘s Prayer For The Planet is a chanting meditation designed to raise our collective vibration and send peace to the world. Visuals: Christel Chaudet

Mother Earth doesn’t need us in order to survive but we need Her.

After launching my book Light Is the New Black last summer, I found myself feeling exhausted and depleted. No amount of meditation or Netflix marathons could fill up my well. And when I listened, what I heard was my soul was calling me to return to the mystical land of Avalon (in the UK’s Glastonbury) to be nurtured by Mother Earth. It didn’t make sense at the time, but knowing my intuition when I hear it I cleared my over-spilling diary, packed a bag and set off – for what would become a magical mystery tour of the region’s ancient sacred sites.

24 hours later I found myself laying star shaped in the long grass and roses of the Chalice Well Gardens. My body felt replenished, as my own well filled to the soundtrack of the red springs bubbling eternal from the depths of Mother Earth. And just ten minutes later, while back in my B & B playing kundalini mantras, there was a knock at my door.

I opened it to find a white-clad yogi standing there, asking me if I was here for the RaMa retreat starting the next day. “I must be,” I thought, and soon found myself joining a group of 30 yogis (including the Numinous’ Ruby Warrington, Guru Jagat and Madeline Giles) chanting our way around the sacred sites of England (more on this here).

The magical thing about returning to sacred lands our soul once trod is that something is unlocked, not just in ourselves but in the land too. It’s as if the Earth has called us back to remind us of things once forgotten.

I realized this visiting a Vesica Pisces crop circle near Avebury. The moment I stepped inside, it I was overwhelmed by an sense of being held. It was subtle yet extremely significant and powerful. As the group formed a circle in the center of the sacred symbol, it was as if Mother Earth was welcoming us into her arms, rocking us back to a place of deep receiving, healing and surrendering. As we began to chant I hit record on my iPhone, knowing that this moment was not only for those of us who had physically journeyed there.

And so I offer this sacred chant up to you. May it soften your heart to receive all of the love, healing and wisdom needed as you navigate the next portal of your journey. For as we each soften, awaken and heal, our magnificent planet does too.

MODERN FAMILY: A HIGH-VIBE HOLIDAY SURVIVAL GUIDE

In her holiday survival guide, Erin Telford has some tips for staying zen when you’re home with the fam… Images: Ofir Abe via Behance.net

how to survive the holidays last supper illustration by Ofir Abe on The Numinous

 

“If you think you’re enlightened, spend a week with your family.” – Ram Dass

Nothing is truer than this statement, since THIS is the real spiritual work. Take it off the mat, take it out of the personal development book, take it off the cushion – family time means time to walk the talk.

If you are mentally steeling yourself for holiday family time this year, know that you are not alone. We always revert to children when we go home, no matter our actual age. And this inner child will always re-experience the same unmet needs for attention, affection, allowing, acceptance or appreciation.

This inner child may even be coming into a family gathering with an expectation of feeling old hurt. This child may unconsciously be watching and waiting for familiar signs that he or she is inadequate, unwanted, or less than.

And if these wounds haven’t been addressed and healed, even if there isn’t an overtly toxic situation to navigate there will always be people present that push these buttons.

The trigger might be a casual remark about your job or relationship status, your parenting style or appearance. The deeper the wound, the more power these off hand comments can have to throw you off your game, creating a spiral of anger and insecurity. Happy holidays!

And we’re talking deep, subconscious stuff, the kind of stuff it’s hard to see coming. One minute you’re “fine,” the next, an insecure little girl who wants to lash out teenage rebel style – or else go hide in her room.

With this in mine, here are a few tips to keep in your back pocket while you navigate…

how to survive the holidays last supper illustration by Ofir Abe on The Numinous

:: EVERYONE IS FEELING IT ::
And truly doing his or her best (even if it doesn’t look anything like it from where you’re standing).

What if everybody was overtired, over sugared, feeling small, feeling ugly, feeling overweight, feeling anxious, feeling insecure, nursing old wounds, hurt by something that was just said to THEM, grieving, feeling lonely, feeling sick, trying to stay sober.

There are any number of reasons that people don’t act the way we wish they would, especially when our usual routines and coping mechanisms are taken away. They are trying with everything they have just as you are.

:: FORGIVE YOURSELF FIRST ::
If you lose it, if you feel petty, if your buttons get pushed, if you respond exactly the way you didn’t want to, if you fall into old unhealthy patterns of relating, if you get sucked in…you are ALSO doing your best. Here is my prayer for you: A Prayer to Release Your Burdens

I forgive myself.

I will no longer be held hostage in my own mind.

I will no longer replay events and wonder if I could have/should have/would have done more/been more.

I did all I could do.

I gave it everything I had.

I acted with all of the tools that I have and to the best of my abilities.

My intent was always love.

I forgive myself.

Say this in the bathroom when you sneak off to get away. Say it into your pillow at night.

how to survive the holidays last supper illustration by Ofir Abe on The Numinous

:: WE CAN’T CONTROL HOW WE FEEL BUT WE CAN CHOOSE HOW WE DEAL ::
You are not a victim. You are an adult who has created a cozy little corner of self-love, proud achievements, acceptance for your authentic self, and emotional stability back home. HOLD ONTO THIS VISION.

If we walk into a situation feeling insecure and anxious, we are already poised to get knocked off our center. No wonder, then, that first obnoxious or critical comment already feels like the famous Last Straw.

It’s important to remember that what’s been said is magnified by the open wound we’re already re-experiencing. It’s like the salt jar accidentally fell in. So we can pick up the gauntlet and do battle, we can withdraw, or we can decide to eat/drink our feelings, depending on our personalities.

Or we can pause, we can breathe, we can excuse ourselves, and we can physically shake it off with a jog around the block or a brisk walk. Our call.

:: FOCUS ON GOOD SLEEP, EXERCISE, WHOLE FOODS, MEDITATION, PRAYER :: 
…but since it may not feel that easy to maintain your usual high-vibe routine, you can also ground and own the holiday space with this simple visualization. It will help shift the energy wherever you are to support you and help you feel comfortable:

Imagine a column of golden light in the center of the space you will be in. This column extends from the center of the Earth to the heavens.

Place a golden rose at the top of the column with three words that signal your intention for your experience. These can be words like Stable, Peaceful, Relaxed, Strong, Joyful, Happy.

Imagine writing your name on all of the walls in the space or hanging pictures of you smiling and having fun.

This exercise helps you to set the energy of the space to a vibration that supports your highest good. And I wish you the absolute loveliest holiday season and strength for any challenges that come your way!

UNDER THE ARMOUR: WHY MEN FIND IT HARD TO FEEL

Why men find it hard to feel is a case of nature and nurture. But when the new empowered masculine is invited to express himself, relationships become a catalyst for healing, says Darren Austin Hall. Images: HANs via Behance.net

why men find it hard to feel artwork by HANs on The Numinous

“The rule of patriarchy demands that men armor themselves, not only to impose force upon the world, but to resist the Feminine externally, and deny or conceal its presence internally, in themselves. On the path of the hero…the genuine hero is a man who develops his power against patriarchy, rather than in support of it. He overcomes armor in the cause of amore.” – John Lamb Lash

I once had an insightful conversation with a female friend about her romantic struggles with men who perpetually shut down emotionally, a common dynamic in many relationships. I’ve also seen this complaint broached in neo-feminist articles online, often reading something along the lines of: “If you haven’t got your emotional shit together you don’t deserve me,” OR “I’m a queen and if you can’t handle intense communication then hit the road.

Firstly, I want to affirm that the kind of Kali fury women feel when their male intimate won’t communicate with them and/or shirks emotional connection altogether is totally valid – and can, when appropriately utilized, actually compel a lazy King out of his benumbed emotional doldrums into attractive action.

But what many women don’t understand is WHY men shut down, and how they can support us with compassion when we do.

I’ve been interested in developing the “healthy masculine” ever since a life-changing trip to India, where I met a beautiful soul brother who introduced me to several inspiring texts on the subject. The insights of the King, Warrior, Magician, Lover series by Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette, and the raw, brutal truths of Iron John: A Book About Men by Robert Bly, shone a light on the struggles facing men in the modern world. Things I had always vaguely felt, but never knew how to express – due in part to my own emotional dullness.

And as I delved into these studies deeper, I began to feel a tremendous sense of compassion for my brothers and myself.

Foremost, men are conditioned to shut down emotionally by society itself. Men are taught that to express emotions is “unsafe,” because it makes our masculinity appear weak and soft. For so long, we’ve been taught that to be masculine is to be “hard.” And if you’ve ever given a modern man a massage, you’ll know this hardness is tangible, our emotional armoring manifesting as layers upon layers of muscular tension.

Here’s a massive truth that I want us all to pause for a moment and reflect upon: that hardness in the body is actually layers of ice-cold frozen tears.

why men find it hard to feel artwork by HANs on The Numinous

My own inner-work has been about reimagining my masculinity in a patriarchal world which conditions an immature and dysfunctional masculine identity that doesn’t know how to feel. Along the way, I have been shocked at how reading about the pain of male warriors going to war for corrupt political aims provokes massive grief in me.

And also how reflecting on this subject awoke the realization in me that every time I got my heart broken, I did my best to bury the wounds so deep that only through psychic scuba-diving in my meditation practice years later would I be able to excavate and process them.

It soon became clear that I’d been carrying around a hospice of old wounds, waiting to be healed and transmuted into wisdom – since every feeling I liberated held its own insights and revelations. One reason I’ve come to believe women, as I’ll explain, often seem wiser than men.

Women are at advantage in the emotions department for a couple of reasons. One, women are encouraged to be emotional. As a result, while many women still struggle with how to process emotions skilfully and use them as tools for alchemical transformation, they are usually more comfortable than men in this realm.

Secondly, diverse ancient traditions purport that women are at an advantage to men spiritually. I didn’t really understand the rationale behind this until I studied Chinese Medicine, and realized some important facts about our physical differences.

In Chinese Medicine, a person’s shen, or spirit, expresses itself as our sense of conscious awareness. It is said that this spiritual force is housed in the Heart and travels in the blood. And when women have their menstrual cycle and bleed they are actually cleansing this shen; their spirit!

Furthermore, I was taught by Native American elders that the sweat lodge was actually created to help men cleanse in a similar way, to help them keep spiritual pace with women! Totally mind-blowing.

why men find it hard to feel artwork by HANs on The Numinous

Could this be why men are more vulnerable to being murky of spirit and emotional awareness than women? If women’s blood, or spirit, runs more clear, it comes as no surprise to me that women are able to feel more clearly and thus exhibit more emotional wisdom than men – for as I’ve learned, feelings are the catalyst for spiritual revelation.

Moreover, menstrual cycles mean women are energetically connected to cycles of the Moon, which in turn is energetically linked to our unconscious. This is why the cycles of the moon can inspire utter wildness of feeling in women! The moon is literally prodding their unconscious to come to the surface to be integrated into the light of consciousness.

A final stunning detail on this note: I was told by another wise teacher that women traditionally would intention their menses to cleanse not only themselves but the spiritual nature of the world at large, using their moontime to help bring the unconscious of the collective into the light of consciousness to be integrated. It’s no wonder women can feel so heavily burdened during their moontimes: they are cleansing so much more than themselves!

In saying all this, I’m not trying to excuse men who refuse or don’t know how to acknowledge their emotions. I know first hand from my own relationships how difficult for women this can be. My intention is simply to create a space for compassionate understanding of our differences, helping us pave the way for better relations in the future.

Ultimately, when it’s understood that women are by nature (and nurture) better feelers than men, this can be integrated into not only romantic but all relations between men and women, as well as utilized as a dynamic tool for healing.

In the past, I used to fear the way women seemed to know my pain even if I didn’t express it. Now I understand that female intuition is a great power that needs to be honored – but that we also need to honor how scary it can be for a man that she can usually tell when something is up no matter how hard he tries to hide it, for fear of appearing weak.

why men find it hard to feel artwork by HANs on The Numinous

In the ancient romantic culture of the Troubadours, there’s an old adage: amore over armor. Men are constantly armoring themselves to fit an outmoded idea of masculinity, and while some protection is useful to buffer us against the trials of the world, most men are carrying way too much (which actually goes for women too, as we’ve all been conditioned by the patriarchy).

So the next time a man, either your partner or a friend, exhibits this kind of emotional armoring, instead of falling into frustration and even anger, choose compassion. Allow space. Ask tender, loving questions. Use touch and the beautiful arts of seductive love to tease out the truths from his tense body in a safe space that welcomes vulnerability.

Women’s gifts of sensuality and feminine beauty can entice the masculine to drop its defenses and open its overly guarded heart. In the ancient romantic traditions, this was seen as one of the great powers of women: to disarm men and invite their innermost essence to be expressed. Imagine if the women of the world used this power against all the war-mongering tyrants, to draw out the wounds that are at the root of so much violence!

When a man starts to feel openly, sharing his tender truths with women, then intimacy can blossom exponentially. Women will see, perhaps for the first time, the beautiful innocence that men hide in our hearts, and have been too afraid to show to a world they felt would demean them for it.

Further, perhaps we’ll realize that there’s a profound context in all romantic relationships for cultivating the balance between the masculine and feminine; for these two cosmic polarities to dance finally and ultimately in unison, fusing in the beauty of the divine.

Darren Austin Hall is a sacred musician, sound healer and spiritual teacher. His empowering music entails diverse, salving instrumentation, across crystal singing bowls, Indian tanpura, mystical guitar and shamanic singing. His new album, The Tantra of Truth, is a collection of ecstatic songs inspiring the evolution of consciousness and deep transformation, and he is one of the headlining musicians for The Yoga Conference in Toronto. He is also trained in Chinese Medicine and shamanic healing and is a gifted teacher and facilitator of a wide array of workshops on new paradigms of spirituality and healing. His writing appears on the blog The Druid, and is published online on sites such as Elephant Journal. Darren also co-facilitates a men’s group in Toronto devoted to raising the consciousness of the masculine and is a devotee of the wisdom of nature. Darrenaustinhall.com

TANTRIC TINDER? HAVE A HIGH VIBE HOLIDAY HOOK-UP

Love is love, and even a tantric Tinder hook-up can be your route to sexual healing says Hanna Bier. Artwork: Oscar Delmar via Behance.net

High vibe holiday fling by Hanna Bier for The Numinous artwork by Oscar Delmar

There’s lots of righteousness around sex and spirituality. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that sacred sexual union can only be enlightening if it happens between the manifest yin and yang, man and woman, in a solid relationship agreement. But we all know that this isn’t always how it works in our day and age. With so many beautiful humans to fall in love with, so many genders, sexual orientations, and ways of coming together, boundaries have blurred.

And as we break free free from the man/woman gender discussion, allowing ourselves to love whoever we want to love, a new level of sexual awakening is occurring – in which each and every fuck can be an opportunity to elevate the world to a higher level of consciousness.

But generations of religious dogma, Hollywood storyline and societal conditioning still have a way of fucking with our thinking, making it easy to jump to the conclusion that something as non-committal as a one-night holiday fling can’t possibly awaken our Kundalini.

So here’s the truth: Love is love.

The love you feel for yourself, for your parents, for the world in general, and for your favorite fuck buddies is all of the same quality. Love doesn’t get more valuable when we put rings on each other, call each other fluffy nick names, and impose rigid rules on our relationships.

There is a dire need to feel safe and connected in the world right now, and this comes with the misconception that by attaching ourselves to another person by means of official papers and jewelry, we will finally find the security we crave.

But deep within, we all know that our path to safety is 100 per cent related to our root chakra – and has nothing to do with elaborate wedding vows. Connect to this truth, and it’s possible to shack up for one night and feel more commitment and presence with this person than with the husband who only stays in his marriage because the moral code that has been imprinted on him that says divorce is wrong.

Have this in mind when you’re partying it up this holiday season. The only spiritual task you have is to learn to love truly and deeply. If you meet someone whose heart and soul you’d like to fuck open – for one night only – consider it your divine mission!

So what does this look like?

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Step #1 Set an intention
Before getting started, turn inside and connect to why you are doing this. Here are some questions to ask yourself –

What is my intention for this union?
What I you want for myself?
What do I want for the person I am having sex with?
What I you want for the world?

Remember to open your heart and make LOVE your bottom line. May every fuck be holy and be of highest service to the world.

Step #2 Cozy up
A holiday fling doesn’t have to be about mindless banging. In fact, the female body needs quite a lot of relaxation and trust in order to be able to fully open. If this is a new concept to you, read my article “How to be Intimate” here: https://the-numinous.com/how-to-be-intimate/

Sometimes what helps with the opening is copious amounts of eggnog, but since you probably wouldn’t go to yoga drunk, try not to enter the temple of sexual enlightening completely hammered.

Instead, work up the boiling point by exploring each other and really being present with the other person. Make it slow and deep, because if done right, your holidays can be a banger, not just a shallow exchange of body fluids.

Step #3 Get polar
Create sexual chemistry by playing with your sexual archetypes, your feminine and masculine side.

Every human soul consists of two sexual archetypes, and every person has both a feminine archetype as well as a masculine archetype. This isn’t necessarily related to you living in a male or female body, it is merely a description of the two polarities that are at play in you.

The feminine archetype is the part of you that is soft, that likes to go deep, that feels into everything and likes to fill up with beauty and tenderness. This archetype thrives when she is being adored and worshipped.

The masculine archetype is the part of you that secures the perimeter, so that the feminine archetype can let go more fully. He is the one who waits for the opening, so that he can go deep and penetrate fully. This archetype is more linear, it is about breaking free and thriving with challenge.

Most humans have a strong connection to one of these archetypes as their sexual essence. If you know your sexual essence, feel free to amplify it to create more polarity with your counterpart. You might also have a feeling for the primary archetype of the other person and choose to play the polar opposite.

Again, it doesn’t matter what your body looks like, what gender role you identify with or who you are having sex with.\

The key to strong chemistry is in amplifying your differences – if your partner is playing princess, pin them down, and show them who’s boss. If you want to soften and open, let the other person dominate. Boring sex comes from lack of polarity.

With that said, Happy Holidays. May your fierce love elevate and uplift the world!