Madonna Archives - the Numinous

LEO SEASON FEELS: PLUS A Madonna Anthem For Every Sign

Posted on July 22, 2020July 17, 2020 by Bess Matassa

Welcome the disco lights of Leo Season says Bess Matassa, in her sensory exploration of the current cosmic skies …

*Oyinda shot by Petra Collins for MAC Cosmetcs*

Dip your kitten heels in liquid diamonds and get ready to glow. Here comes a ripe and ready, fruit-flavored season for slipping into your gold lamé unitard and taking to the glitter soaked dance floor.

But the Leonine promise isn’t mere performance. Deep inside its shimmering magenta heart, the zodiac’s fluffy cosmic cat presents us with the challenge of becoming even more of what we already are and innocently leaping into the arms of the technicolored world that surrounds us, propelled only by the engine of an eternal inner flame that never burns out.

Wrapped up inside the most valuable of Leo’s pink-ribboned packages is the treasure of sparkling simplicity. Nowness. The radically innocent notion that it’s alright to trust this life. So strap your red-hot heart to your ruffled sleeve and fall head over diamond-soled heels in love with every last thing that surrounds you, knowing that it answers the sweetly pulsating passion inside you.

The bejeweled blood that runs through your veins courses through the runways of the whole wide world. Because baby, you were born this way.

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The keyword: Heat.

The song lyrics: “Some are like water, some are like the heat/Some are the melody and some are the beat/Sooner or later they all will be gone/Why don’t they stay young?” Alphaville’s “Forever Young”

Check out Bess’ Leo Season Playlist, complete with babeliscous pop, sweetheart songstresses, and glamorous prom jams.

The color palette: playground primaries and rainbow sherbets—peachy pinks, red-hot cherries, and creamy lemons sorbets.

The style: 50s pinup meets 80s hair metal. Body-con glamorama with gaudily gorgeous turquoise ice shadow, voluminous pink locks, plump glossy lips, candy necklaces, gold lamé unitards, and oversized ruby baubles.

The scents and flavors: tropical treats and sun-baked snackables. Think mangos on sticks, sprinkles on everything, perfectly ripe avocados, Juicy Juice boxes, Cheetos, bubblegum Lip Smackers, and the simply succulent scent of suntan lotion.

The healing: being exuberantly present and sensationally sweet. Bedroom dance parties to your personal soundtrack, trips to the mall, overflowing pink bubble baths, stuffed animal pile ups, and all-night dress-up parties.

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Sensuous Invitation of the Month: A MADONNA ANTHEM FOR YOUR SIGN!

Ruled by the Sun, vintage pop vixen Madonna is the quintessential Leo—a performer who’s hunger for the spotlight has lit up disco dance floors for decades, inviting us to heat up the whole party with our endless golden glow.

Below, your sign-by-sign guide to opening your heart, striking a pose, and returning to the virginal sensations of making it through the wilderness … all the way back to the innocent belief that life is always worth living.

Sun in Aries
Leo season invites you to fluff and buff your hard edges, and delight in softer expressions of selfhood. Madonna Anthem: Lay down your weapons and return to fresh sensations with “Like a Virgin.”

Sun in Taurus
Leo season invites you to trust in the security of your jewel box and utilize what’s already on hand. Madonna Anthem: Delight in the emotional costume party of existing resources with “Dress You Up.”

Sun in Gemini
Leo season invites you to plunge heart-first into the more difficult parts of your story and let your feeling nature lead the way. Madonna Anthem: Release the tangled tales buried inside your softly-lit soul with “Live to Tell.”

Sun in Cancer
Leo season invites you to honor all shades of creative birth and to validate your own feelings, no matter how strange. Madonna Mojo: Get wild and free on your own private tropical isle with “La Isla Bonita.”

Sun in Leo
Leo season invites you to generously share your heat with the trust that your flame is eternal. Madonna Anthem: Step into the center of the dancefloor and strike a pose like there’s nobody watching with “Vogue.”

Sun in Virgo
Leo season invites you to fully celebrate your self-contained integrity and the subtle sensations of beauty in your environment. Madonna Mojo: Find your footing and honor what’s unfolding with the sensitized sounds of “Rain.”

Sun in Libra
Leo season invites you to balance your urge to relate with a celebration of your one-of-a-kind perspective. Madonna Mojo: Know when to compromise and when to assert your boundaries with “Borderline.”

Sun in Scorpio
Leo season invites you to snack on your own intensity and know when laughing at yourself can be a radical form of power. Madonna Mojo: Apologize for nothing and wear your primitive feelings like a badge of honor with “Human Nature.”

Sun in Sagittarius
Leo season invites you to lose yourself in adventure once again with no endgame in sight. Madonna Mojo: Set off on an epically romantic voyage with “Holiday.”

Sun in Capricorn
Leo season invites you to inject your traditional approach with some healthy rebellion and seize the power of creative play. Madonna Mojo: Challenge existing structures and your own internal status quo with “Papa Don’t Preach.”

Sun in Aquarius
Leo season invites you to shift from the universal to the personal as you allow what’s inside your pumping heart to propel you forward. Madonna Mojo: Mix panned-out perspectives with close range emotions, and let your feelings skyrocket you all the way back to a brand new home with “Ray of Light.”

Sun in Pisces
Leo season invites you to revel in the sweet sensations of standing alone. Madonna Mojo: Risk surrendering to the mystery, and finding faith and fortitude in solitude with “Like a Prayer.”

Bess Matassa is available for private readings and astro-themed events. Connect with her at Mojaverising.com

MY MYSTICAL LIFE: GOODBYE 2016, IT’S BEEN REAL

Posted on December 16, 2016November 3, 2018 by Ruby Warrington

Brand new sweats, getting sober curious in London, walking the human tightrope, and saying “goodbye 2016″…

Meeting different versions of me, and staying cozy in our new Broome St. Temple sweatshirt…

:: MONDAY ::
Got interviewed by badass yogi Guru Jagat for her RaMa Radio show “Reality Riffing,” which was really kinda cool because usually I’m the one interviewing people! And luckily the moon was in Gemini and I was feeling extra chatty. We got through a bunch of stuff about spiritual activism, walking the wellness talk, and how “being in a human body feels like walking a tightrope right now” (her metaphor, but who isn’t feeling this one??). But guess what? Maybe the tightrope is the only way across the abyss. In which case, let’s keep calm, clear, centered, and never quit cheering each other on. You can listen to the full interview here.

:: TUESDAY ::
First virtual Full Moon ritual for our Moon Club members, and we had people attend from Belfast in Ireland, Toronto, London, Mexico, and all over the United States. YES, this community is global! Since this week’s Gemini Full Moon was the last full moon of 2016, it has felt like a good week to take stock of a year that has brought so many harsh lessons, so much anguish (the tightrope, remember?), and, as a result, such tremendous opportunity for growth. What have you been through this year, and who have you become? This was the theme of Alexandra Roxo’s moving guided meditation, in which we journeyed to meet the different “selves” of 2016, and ask for their lessons, and their blessings. Intrigued? New members can access a recording of the session via the private Moon Club Facebook group any time you sign up.

:: WEDNESDAY ::
Finalizing details for Club SÖDA NYC, the new name for my “sober curious” Club Soda events—which I am bringing to London on January 11 due to popular demand! And speaking of previous selves…when I left my home town five years ago for a new life in NYC, I was a full-on party girl, using alcohol and other drugs as a way to bridge the fulfillment gap (the abyss…?) that has since been bridged by creating The Numinous, and all the offshoot projects of this platform. London is also the kind of town where saying you don’t drink is often met with eye rolls and extreme pressure to “just have one,” followed by intense gossiping about how you must be a) in AA, or b) pregnant.

So to say I’m apprehensive about how my new attitude to booze will go down, is kind of an understatement. But it seems that even in the UK, the conversation is changing. Ever since I announced the launch of Club Soda on this side of the pond, I have received messages from Brits asking me to bring the events to the UK—”because we really need something like this.” Not to mention loads of newly sober (and sober curious) friends offering to help me stage a London event. Which means…it’s happening! Read more and get your ticket here.

:: THURSDAY ::
New sweatshirts, new sweatshirts! A couple of months back, Urban Yogis co-founder Eddie Stern approached me with the idea of creating a limited edition print of his Broome St. Temple tees (worn by people like, oh, Russell Brand and MADONNA). The Temple was Eddie’s iconic ashtanga studio in Soho, which he vacated earlier this year to set up the equally beautiful Brooklyn Yoga Club—the tees a riff on the logo for punk band The Ramones. Our version? Went went kinda glam with gold foil! As with our Chakra and Vinyasa shirts, a percentage of proceeds will go to the Urban Yogis, to help fund the amazing work they do bringing peace to marginalized communities in the city. You can check them out and shop the collection here.

:: FRIDAY ::
And speaking of Madonna, if you didn’t already then please, please watch her acceptance speech for the Billboard Woman of The Year award she collected this week. So many truths, such powerful vulnerability, and what a fearless statement about the need for true sisterhood. But above all a reminder, fitting in the final days of 2016, that: “in life there is no real safety, except self-belief.” The tightrope is real. You’d better believe.

THE NUMI YEAR IN REVIEW: BEST OF 2014

Posted on December 22, 2014November 2, 2021 by Ruby Warrington

2014 has been a year of SELF-EXAMINATION, TRANSFORMATION and ADVENTURE! Here are 11 posts that made us laugh, gasp, cry…and take a good long look at our lives from the inside (listed in no particular order of awesomeness).

1. YOGI VEGAN LEZ: DIARY OF A DETOX A DEUX

When Alexandra Roxo decided to embark on a hardcore nine-day Ayurvedic cleanse, she had no idea her girlfriend would decide to come along for the ride. Cue tears, tantrums and an ocean of emotion.

2. TURNED ON: THE TANTRA OF ONLINE DATING

Ellie Burrows on the trantra of online dating for TheNuminous.net — *Dancing between masculine and feminine…*

Ellie Burrows is pretty sure she’s discovered the secret to online dating. And it’s Tantra. Not super-connected, total body orgasm, tantric sex – rather the energetic concept that makes that kind of sex possible: a balance of the masculine and feminine energies.

3. NEED-TO-KNOW: YOUR SPIRIT POWER ANIMAL

How to meet your spirit power animal on TheNuminous.net — *Feel so much more powerful knowing he’s on my side…*

Dealing with a situation that had left her feeling vulnerable and alone, when Ruby Warrington met her spirit power animal last year…it got emotional. Here’s how to connect with your own beast of the wild unknown.

4. TO SKINNY DIP OR NOT TO SKINNY DIP: KNOW YOUR YOGA RTREAT ETIQUETTE

Yoga For Bad People share their tips on yoga retreat etiquette for TheNuminous.net — *No hiding behind your hair all week…*

Yay, you’re going on a yoga retreat! You want to get the most out of your experience, right? Who better than Heather Lilleston and Kumi Sawyers fromYoga For Bad People to lay down some summer retreat etiquette. We’re talking less freaking out, more more F.U.N.

5. KUNDALINI CALLING: HEAVEN ON EARTH WITH GURU JAGAT

Guru Jagat shot in Venice Beach by Lisandra Valazquez for TheNuminous.net — Guru Jagat shot in Venice Beach by Lisandra Valazquez

Guru Jagat is the outspoken face behind the Ra Ma Institute, the only all kundalini yoga studio in California’s Venice Beach. She talks to Madeline Giles about her vision for the Age of Aquarius, life on the 33rd parallel and outsmarting the Global Elite. Conspiracy theories or conscious debate?

6. DARK FAIRY DELIRIUM: WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE A GEMINI

What it feels like to be a Gemini Image by Bela Borsodi for Document Journal featured on TheNuminous.net — *Image by Bela Borsodi for Document Journal*

Right after a powerful New Moon in multi-faceted Gemini, gifting us an opportunity to embrace the quicksilver side of ourselves, Nadia Noir gives an insight into a life spent searching for “the other me.”

7. THE NU RULES: ATTRACT THE RIGHT RELATIONSHIP FOR YOU

The new rules for self love by Jennifer Kass for TheNuminous.net — See yourself through your lover’s eyes…

Can’t seem to attract the right relationship? It’s not him, honey, it’s you. Jennifer Kass re-writes The Rules, beginning with a lesson in self-love…

8. 26 LIFE LESSONS MY BURNING MAN EXPERIENCE TAUGHT ME

Ruby Warrington on the playa at Burning Man 2014 featured on TheNuminous.net — *Ruby and her husband Simon on the Playa…*

Connfession: My Burning Man Experience was too full-on to be called fun, says Ruby Warrington. But when it comes to life lessons, a week on the Playa delivered pure gold.

9. SPIRITUAL AWAKENING: THE REBIRTHING OF BROOKE CANDY

Brooke Candy in Hawaii featured on TheNuminous.net — *Image: Brooke Candy’s Instagram account*

Lessons in Kabbalah with Madonna and a “little spiritual trip to Hawaii.” Brooke Candy tells Ruby Warrington how following a more “soulful” path has been a lesson in self-love…

10. BEYOND BFFS: HOW TO CREATE A COVEN

Cara and her coven, photographed by Richard Bush for i-D magazine featured on TheNuminous.net — *Cara and her coven, photographed by Richard Bush for i-D magazine*

Something very special happens when women come together in ceremony. Erin Telford explains how to create a Coven – and bonds that run deep as blood.

11. ORGASMIC MEDITATION: INSIDE THE CULT OF CLIT

Orgasm as spiritual exchange... — Orgasm as spiritual exchange…

Empowering women’s movement, or de facto sex cult? Dani Katz gets intimate with the practise known as Orgasmic Meditation…

LET’S GET DEEP: YOGA SEQUENCE FOR SCORPIO

Posted on October 27, 2014November 4, 2018 by Ash Bonelli

As the nights get longer, Scorpio season is here to make us face our inner demons – all in the name of transformation, of course. Use Ash Baker’s simple yoga sequence for Scorpio like a physical prayer to take you there…

Madonna shot for her 2006 H&M collection to illustrate a story on a yoga sequence for Scorpio. Read more at Thenuminous.net — *Madonna shot for H&M 2006*

SCORPIO
October 23 to November 21

Ruler: Pluto, Mars
Element: Water
Modality: Fixed
Anatomy: The nose, genital organs, blood, bladder and bowels.

8th sign of the Zodiac

Phew – we survived. Coming out of Mercury Retrograde and two Eclipses, now it’s time to transform and integrate what we’ve learned – and there’s no better sign than Scorpio as a backdrop. Symbolising re-birth and transformation on the deepest level, the most mysterious sign of the Zodiac invites us to do a deep dive and shine a light into the Cosmic cave.

Scorpio season knows it takes serious determination to kick out of our comfort zone and rise above the banal. As for the famous sting in the Scorpio tail? Sure, if you piss ‘em off you’ll feel it – but all of us possess that inner warrior, the loyal guardian of our deepest truths.

To harness this energy in the month to come, let us focus on the strength, wisdom and determination of the Scorpion. The poses chosen here are designed to ignite the energy to overcome that which no longer serves you, and to dig a little deeper into your own dark corners to bring your truth to light.

Skull Shining Breath :: Kapalabhati Pranayama
This breathwork will help to eliminate toxins, amp up your energy, and get your blood moving. Find a comfortable cross-legged seat on a blanket to prop up the hips and lengthen the spine. Let your hands rest on your thighs. If you’re a tactile person you can place your hands on top of each other on your belly. Take a deep inhale through your nose. Exhale and quickly contract your belly inward pressing all of the air out. The next inhale should be automatic and passive. Aiming for 60 rounds of beath per minute, the contractions in your lower belly should follow in rapid succession. One minute is enough if you’re new to breathwork, otherwise try three minutes. When you’re finished take a deep inhale through the nose and exhale fully through the mouth.

*Avoid this if you have high blood pressure, hernia, heart disease or are a pregnant mama to be!

Boat Pose :: Navasana
Come to sit and bend the knees with the feet on the floor. Take your hands behind you with your fingertips pointed towards you. Press your hands and sit bones down towards the floor to lengthen your spine upward. Engage your pelvic floor by scooping the tailbone slightly forward and your pubic bone up towards your chest. This action will automatically engage your abdominals. If you’re a total beginner stay here and just breathe. If you wish to go further, draw your calves up in alignment with your knees, parallel to the floor. You can keep your hands behind you for support or take them behind your thighs. Keep lifting your chest up and keep the spine straight. Don’t let your lower back round at all. To move into the full pose, straighten one leg and then the other, reaching through the toes. Take your arms straight out parallel with the floor. Keep lifting the heart with each inhale and squeeze your pelvic floor (bathroom muscles) with each exhale.

Bound Angle :: Baddha Konasana
Find a comfortable seat. Imagine your spine lengthening with each inhale, pulling you up from the crown of your head. Draw the soles of your feet together to touch. If you need a little support or feel a pulling sensation in your inner thighs you can sit on a blanket or place a block under each knee. Take a hold of your feet and pull your chest through your arms to feel as much length in your spine as you can. Inhale your arms up over your head and begin to fold forward at your hip creases with a flat spine until you reach the edge of your stretch. Then place your hands down and allow a little rounding of your upper spine and neck to happen. Stay here and use your breath to help you relax into the pose more deeply. With each inhale lengthen out a little more and with each exhale sink deeper.

*Counterpose: Lay down on your back and bring your feet as wide as your mat. Let your knees fall in. BREATHE.

:: Sea Breathing Meditation ::
Come to lie on your back and drape a blanket over your body. You want to be fully relaxed so take a pillow under your head and a rolled up blanket under your knees if you wish. Imagine you are on the beach, warm and safe. Everything is calm and serene. Feel the heat coming from the sand beneath you and a slight breeze in the air. Scorpions are usually linked to fire but we often forgot that they are water warriors, so direct your attention to the ocean. Listen to it breathing, inhaling as the tide comes in, exhaling as the tide goes out. Now listen to your own breathing. Imagine your breath is syncing up with the tides. You are breathing the ocean. Think briefly about what you would like to wash away from yourself. Picture the vast amazing power and beauty that is the ocean cleansing that which you don’t need. Use the strength of the ocean to find your inner strength. Stay with this practice for as long as you like.

Monthly Mantra: “I am empowered by my own truth.”

GET DOWN AND GET GOD: A DANCE PARTY WITH THE DIVINE

Posted on August 15, 2014November 4, 2018 by Nadia Noir

What if the way to enlightenment wasn’t through your crown chakra…but your feet? Nadia Noir heads to the nearest dance party to find out.

Prayer and meditation are awesome tools for channeling moments of introspective clarity. But as a spiritual species that spends an unfathomable amount of time psychoanalyzing ourselves through mantra apps, self-help books on Audible.com, and grounding ourselves through following our favorite guru via social media, channeling a primal version of Miley Cyrus while gyrating to Madonna’s “Like A Prayer” can be a bridge into unbridled bliss. We live in our heads enough already. Enter the body-purifying sweat of a good old-fashioned, orgiastic dance sesh.

It wasn’t just the ancient Greeks who encouraged the human iterations of their gods, goddesses and muses to get down and get God through song and dance. The Torah calls for dancing, not only as a celebration of God or as a way to worship, but as a way to create the frenzied, supercharged atoms between two lovers in Song of Solomon. In Hinduism, there are the Apsarases, 23 celestial gods that dance to “express the supreme truths in the magic of movement.” Sufis twirled themselves into ecstasy and the Ancient Egyptians thought of everything they did in life as one eternal dance. They even danced at funerals, ready to dance their way through the darkness of death and into the afterlife.

If you’re still perpetually feeling low-grade anxiety or self-abusing your ten pound weight gain, maybe that’s because the answer isn’t in your crown chakra. Sure you can keep seeking a connection to a higher power, but you might never understand what true liberation is until you strip away your sins at classes like Sheila Kelley’s S Factor, talk up to yourself at Patricia Moreno’s Intensati, bump-and-grind your way into a state of Bhakti at Yoga Booty Ballet, or the spiral-sensationalizing of Buti.

But about just hitting up a dance club and twerking shamelessly to a raunchy Nicki Minaj song, feeling the sensation of strength and pleasure crawling up your root chakra, through your core and into your heart. You could stomp it out to some metal like the world’s sexiest Kali, destroying the earth below you and incinerating any doubts you have in yourself. Or, if that’s too hardcore for you, if you’re one of those supple, gentle souls that drowns in tears and whiskey, go sing some old country songs by Patsy Cline at your local karaoke dive bar. Studies even say that moderate drinking accompanied by karaoke is super good for your health.

And in case you’re like, “When am I going to have the time to do any of this stuff? I’m a super woman trying to be a spiritual being having a human experience and those bills don’t pay themselves,” here are four easy steps to just sing when the spirit says sing and twerk when the spirit is like, “Work it girl.”

GET OVER YOURSELF
That’s right. Who cares if you’re flabby or ungraceful or if you’re hailing a cab on a busy street. The minute negativity starts creeping into your psyche, do a little dance on the sidewalk or belt out some Beyonce. The only person who is embarrassed by what you’re doing is you. Maybe other people are jealous or hating, but a majority of people will feel inspired by your little performance. They might just join in. Spontaneous soul-healing flash mob? Sounds awesome.

PLAY ON, PLAYA
Keep a playlist on your iPhone for those times that you really need to really play. Songs you can dance to in the mirror while dripping wet from the shower or to encourage anyone around you to join you for a slow dance. If that sounds awkward, ABBA usually works.

RECORD YOUR POSTERIOR FOR POSTERITY
Have you ever looked back at pictures of yourself when you were in high school or college or some other time you were mired in angst and depression and went, “Damn. I looked hot. What was my problem?” It’s always good to keep visual reminders to yourself that sometimes your pain can be blown out of proportion by your own psyche. There’s no better way to document yourself than at the height of some fun time; dancing, singing, glowing. You might grimace, but guarantee you, when you’re 70-years-old, you’ll be thinking, “I was having the time of my life.” Like me in this video singing Cyndi Lauper’s “Time After Time.” I kind of hate it, but in five years I’ll love it. Don’t shortchange your future with how you feel about yourself today.

GRAB YOUR PARTNER BY THE HAND
Mix things up in your relationships with some Sir Mix-a-lot and a mixed beverage of your choice. Or just let the wild nymph out to play and make up some songs in the middle of a hike or something. Start a fake band. Create a fake dance. In fact, keep faking on it ‘til you make it. Let your fake persona, the confident and sassy one, override your warped internal programming to bring out the “real” and really dope damsel and dimepiece that is you.

But you know, some things work for some people and other things work for other people – a really simple and trite statement, but it’s true. If you hate something, you’re not going to keep doing it. If meditating and mantra-repeating doesn’t work for you, you’re not broken. You’re not spiritually unevolved. It’s just up to you to find out what you vibrate with. And maybe, just maybe, what will really reshuffle your chakras and shake up your soul is a sultry striptease in front of one other living being who will never judge you—your cat.

Read more from Nadia Noir at Illuminadia.com

@NadiaNoir

TURNED ON: SEXTING ACROSS THE MADONNA WHORE DIVIDE

Posted on July 30, 2014November 4, 2018 by Ellie Burrows

Is sexting the same as cheating? It all depends if you’re playing in the shadow or the light, says Ellie Burrows. Image: Katie Fischer

Sigh, the Madonna and the Whore. Is there anything more banal then reducing a woman to one of those two archetypes?

Madonna: Non-sexual woman. Keeper of morality. She offers her breasts to her children. She tempts you into eating your peas. She tempts you for your own good.

Whore: Sexual woman. Debaser of morality. She offers her breasts to everyone. She tempts your husband. She tempts you for her own good.

For thousands of years women have been cast in one of these two forms. There is no shortage of literature or decorated scholars who have devoted their lives to studying them. And, there are many feminists who have fought fiercely to destroy such narrow-minded classifications.

But I have a confession. I totally recognize this duality in myself and I’m not ashamed to admit it.

Enter: Sexting – digital fingering at its finest, and the space where I recently encountered my inner Madonna and Whore pushing their respective pleasure agendas. As it turns out, I was able to marry them when I understood how to align their supposedly conflicting interests. They were willing to sign a sacred contract, but they had to look each other in the face to do it.

A few months ago, I found myself in a budding Millennial relationship: we were really into each other but having a tough time sorting out the commitment piece. It forced me to evaluate my own feelings about monogamy. And when this column launched in April, it brought some men from my past out of the proverbial woodwork.

I hadn’t talked to Eric in years (name obviously changed). We grew up in the same place and had always had that energetic-sexy-vibe thing happening but we never actually acted on it, mostly due to timing with a dash of trepidation. He reached out to tell me that he was proud of me and confess that he had fantasized about me since his preteens. Before I knew it, we were sexting and it was tons of fun, like major smile-ear-to-ear fun. And if I’m being totally truthful, it happened two more times. Over Gchat. Off the record. That was the problem.

Hello Whore Ellie. Eric has a very serious girlfriend.

The next weekend I was with my boyfriend-who-wasn’t-my-boyfriend. He put up an Instagram that also drew out a woman from his past. When I saw his facial expression when he peeped at his screen, I was intrigued. He told me that she was someone he had a one-night-stand with and since then had occasionally sexted with. He assured me that I had nothing to worry about.

But, I wasn’t concerned at all. Like, at all. See, I knew that I had just engaged in a sexting conversation with someone I was attracted to and it had absolutely nothing to do with him. It wasn’t going anywhere: I’m monogamous and I like to flirt. Of course, someone could say that if I really loved him I wouldn’t have sexted with someone else. If you’re that someone, please go buy Esther Perel’s Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence. Immediately. #requiredreading

Then the following came out of my mouth:

“It’s okay if you sext with her.”

“What?”

“Well, I’m not sure sexting with her is a direct reflection of how you feel about me. It has nothing to do with me. It’s just an aggressive form of flirting. I would be fine with it as long as she knows that I know that it’s happening and it doesn’t actually become physical.”

“Explain.”

“If you both know that I’m aware that it’s going on and are still willing to sext, then you’re playing in the light. Then we are all engaging in conscious behavior and all of us get to enjoy the fantasy. However, if you can’t share it with me and you don’t think I can be part of the fun then that’s playing in the dark. That would be messy.”

Then I dropped the bomb. “In fact, I sexted with someone last week.”

“Really? Look at you.” He had a mischievous smile on his face that mirrored mine.

“Yes, and that exchange had absolutely nothing to do with my love for you. Totally mutually exclusive. It’s sophisticated flirtation. Except his girlfriend doesn’t know about it which is a problem.”

It was like we were sitting in an energetic room and the ceiling was lined with fluorescents. I could see everything. Deception is the fertile soil where the Madonna and the Whore’s separateness is able to survive. And that really is some holy shit.

The next day, I reached out to Eric and shared my revelation. He loved his girlfriend very much but was doing this behind her back, casting her as the Madonna and me as the Whore. I didn’t like engaging in this kind of shadow behavior because it didn’t allow us to play together. It kept us separate.

Maybe Eric believed that his girlfriend couldn’t see the duality and understand the nature of our flirting and so he felt the need to hide it from her. That, or he actually felt like it could go somewhere with me. But by going along with the deception, I wasn’t holding a space; I was trampling straight through one. And if we couldn’t play in the light, then it needed to end. So I ended it. I told him we could speak as long as we could keep it PG. Sadly, Eric and I haven’t spoken in months.

Hello Madonna Ellie. I support monogamy so I wanted to support Eric’s relationship. I also wanted to honor his girlfriend and only play with Eric if we could all play together.

The Madonna and Whore archetypes are in all of us. Both are remarkable extremes in their own right. I intimately know my Madonna and my Whore, and my life is an exercise in integrating them. It’s way beyond just being “a lady in the streets but a freak between the sheets.” I love both of them and so they love each other. I offer each a seat at my well-lit table and that is where they are able to break bread.

Read more from Ellie Burrows at Ellieburrows.com

@_ellieburrows_

MOMMY DEAREST: MOTHER’S DAY GIFTS BY SIGN

Posted on May 10, 2014November 5, 2018 by Ruby Warrington

Stumped for how to honor your mamma this Mother’s Day? Ophira Edut, co-author with her sister Tali of Momstrology: The Astro Twins’ Guide to Parenting Your Little One by the Stars, has some ideas…

The Aries Mom: Take her advice.
Supermom Aries wants nothing more than to hear these four words: “You were right, Mom.” So throw her a mother-knows-best bone. Aries rules the mind, and she wants her savvy smarts to be appreciated. Today, do things HER way. Take her out—to her favorite restaurant or a movie in her genre of choice…the one you’ve been resistant to try. You never know, she could be on to something after all.

The Taurus Mom: Say it with flowers.
Nice ones from her favorite florist, please, arranged tastefully in a cool box (like these from Olive and Cocoa). Present them with a few impeccably wrapped high-end gifts: scarves, jewelry, nice accessories. Visual Taurus is ruled by aesthetic Venus, and this traditional mom loves beautiful presentation. This is one sign you can’t skimp on for Mother’s Day, so go designer—or at least, go decadent.

The Gemini Mom: Join in one of her hobbies.
Versatile Geminis have a million interests—books, music, films, trivia. Instead of tuning out, tune in. As the sign of the Twins, she loves to share information and discuss. Get two tickets for the show of her choosing, then analyze it over a fun meal afterward. Or, buy two copies of the same book you both want to read, and call her to discuss as you devour.

The Cancer Mom: Book a family portrait session.
Say cheese! With the Cancer mom, you’re never too to pose for a professional shot of the family—the more generations involved, the better. To avoid being immortalized in a yuppie setup (everyone barefoot in jeans and matching white oxfords…you know the deal), arrange a sitting with a creative photographer. Or heck, you could even send a snapshot to an artist and commission a painting.

The Leo Mom: Play dress-up with her.
Broadway, here we come! The Leo mama loves to hit the town with her lion cubs, so pull out the formalwear…and all the stops. Start with an early Mother’s Day brunch, then head to a Mama Mia matinee (or some other blockbuster musical). While you’re still humming “Dancing Queen,” finish with some disco fries and a giant hot fudge sundae at the diner—in your pearls or suit-and-tie—since she loves to do high and low in a single day.

The Virgo Mom: Sit down for a real conversation.
The Virgo mom loves to talk—and not just idle chitchat either. She wants to know your hopes, dreams and opinions, and to share a few of her own. Book a day of undistracted quality time with her. Find a fancy hotel that serves high tea where you can hear her thoughts on life over petit fours and fragrant blends. Let her fuss over you a little—but grab the check before she tries to pay it, since the Virgo mom loves to give, but isn’t always comfortable receiving.

The Libra Mom: Treat her to a day of beauty.
The lovely Libra mom savors all the pretty things in life. Treat her to all the traditional trappings: flowers, a spa trip, a special brunch, and all the Hallmark trimmings. Give her an occasion to get dressed up—and don’t forget the card! Sentimental Libra will treasure your Mother’s Day tributes forever. Tell her how much she means to you, and all the reasons why.

The Scorpio Mom: Bond with one of your unique “me and mom” pastimes.
You know those favorite activities that you shared with your mom as a kid? Maybe it was taking a bike ride to your favorite little picnic spot, getting mani-pedis, or baking chocolate-chip banana bread and eating the whole loaf while it was still warm. Whatever it is: do that. As the sign of one-on-one bonding, the Scorpio mom cherishes those special things that only the two of you understand: inside jokes, little rituals, decadent splurges a deux. Remind her that she’s irreplaceable by re-enacting those beloved memories.

The Sagittarius Mom: A day of adventure—with or without you.
The spontaneous Sagittarius mama is always multi-tasking, so take her away from her to-do list and off for a day of fun. Whether you head out into nature or go the “urban explorer” route, she’ll love getting away for an unstructured day of discovery. Hint: if she’s a newer mom, the independent Sag might appreciate having a few of those hours all to herself, where she can let her own inner compass guide her, and explore without having to answer to anyone but herself.

The Capricorn Mom: Take over her duties.
The Capricorn mama works hard, so give her a day—or a week—off. Whatever task she toils over, take it out of her hands. Gardening, cleaning the house, walking the dog…maybe you do it for her, but even better, how about hiring a service to handle this chore for six months to a year? She may grumble for a minute, but when she comes home to crisp sheets or an impeccable yard, this dutiful mama might finally put her feet up and let herself enjoy some much-deserved rest.

The Aquarius Mom: Road trip!
Spontaneous and nomadic, the Aquarius mom loves the unexpected. Rent a car or pick her up, then go explore a town a couple hours away. Whether you collect shells on the beach then go to a quaint little crab shack, or drive into the big city, she’ll love being your co-adventurer on this Mother’s Day quest. Feel free to surprise her, too—Aquarius is the sign of the unexpected, so she’ll enjoy the thrill of anticipation.

The Pisces Mom: Gush a little, would you?
Stock up on the Kleenex and let the tearjerker moments begin! Raise a Bellini (or three) to your Pisces mom, and acknowledge all the sacrifices she’s made for you. Don’t hold back on the effusive praise because let’s face it, she’s been there for you like nobody else. It doesn’t take much to make this mushy mama misty-eyed. But go a little over the top anyway—the Pisces mom loves a glamorous setting!

Momstrology: The Astro Twins’ Guide to Parenting Your Little One By The Stars is out now. For lots more on parenting and astrology visit Momstrology.com

@AstroTwins