When Gabriela Herstik happened upon the Plain Indians exhibit at the MET, it was a fashionable reminder of her own awakening to MYSTICAL spirituality. Main image: Karolina Daria Flora
I’m all about synchronicity and the wonderful way our life stories seem to loop together over time. My most recent “moment” came together last week, when for the first time in 10 years I found myself back in the Big Apple. A mandatory trip to The Metropolitan Museum of Art was made, and as I was walking up the beautifully grand stairs to the entrance I saw it – the sign that read; “The Plain Indians; Artists of Earth and Sky.”
I first learned about the Navajo and Iroquois tribes in elementary school a decade ago, after my family had moved to Buffalo, NY, from San Diego. Looking back, I can pinpoint learning about the different Indian nations as the entry point to my interest in shamanism and mysticism – a journey that has connected to me to an understanding of whatever it is that truly lies beyond. By learning how the different tribes incorporated a belief in something bigger than them in nearly every facet of their lives, I was inspired to do the same – a way of being that’s seeped into my own life day-to-day.
The exhibition turned out to be an incredibly curated collection of Plain Indian art, displaying both the wonderful spirit of the tribes and the incredible talent of artisans across the nations. There were pipes carved with animal spirit guides and helpers; there were painted animal hides recounting tales of battles; there were exquisite war bonnets and, a favorite, an incredible shield embellished with a Buffalo spirit guide.
A large part of the exhibition, however, was dedicated to the absolutely exquisite and divine (in the truest sense of the word) clothing. There were hand-beaded jackets in dusty blues and vibrant reds; leggings with horsehair fringe and rich, dark blue beadwork; there was an absolutely breathtaking pair of completely beaded brogues with a matching bag from 1901…there was EVERYTHING a girl for whom fashion – self-adornment – and spirituality will be forever entwined. And all very Etro SS2015…
There were also paintings and photographs of the Plains, with the exhibition designed to chronicle the art of the tribes from the 19th century to the present day – a visual account of the experiences of these tribal nations, ending with different artists’ personal interpretations of what the future of the tribes may look like. A touching spiritual and artistic experience, the Plain Indians exhibit at the MET was beautiful and mystic and moving.
Our sense of smell is a basic bitch. This month, resident sex and spirituality columnist Ellie Burrows investigates a case of scent and sensuality. Image: The author shot by Mikal Marie Evans
I am a human animal. I know this because I spend most of my time relatively upright asking important existential questions like ‘why am I here?’ or ‘what is the meaning of life?’
But lately, I feel like a complete and total beast. I’m talking about the kind that walks on four legs, doesn’t speak, and just sniffs its way around its habitat. Like those kind of animals, I’ve been at the mercy of my nose.
Recently, I smelled the best-smelling human I have ever smelled in my life. It came from the neck, right behind the ear. No, it wasn’t cologne. Yes, it was just skin. The smell was so compelling, so intoxicating, so layered in deliciousness that I was completely and totally hooked from the first whiff. It was a case of scent and sensuality.
Even for a writer, describing the mute sense is challenging, but I think it smelled something like clean laundry, drenched in fresh water, wrapped in sandalwood, sprinkled with bergamot, dipped in Yerba Mate, and peppered with masculine musk. I realize these could be the notes in a ubiquitous fragrance called “Eau de New York City Man,” but this scent was specific. It was his scent.
Smell. It’s like the basic bitch of the senses. It’s the sense associated with Muladhara chakra: the first and lowest, the base chakra. This energetic center has to do with basic needs and survival. No one wants to have first chakra problems: trouble making money, and feeding oneself. If we can’t work these things out, it’s pretty hard to function in the world. But the smell I smelled, I would happily get low for, like first chakra low. I would literally get on all fours for it.
Sadly, many people are grossly misinformed and rank smell as the sense they would be most likely to forfeit. But smell is associated with the first chakra because it is the origin sense, both in science (did you know our entire brain grew from what was once a primitive olfactory cortex?) and other schools of thought, too.
I’m not a particularly avid bible reader as that’s not necessarily how I contextualize my spirituality, but so many of the spiritual parameters of the western world, are rooted in The Book. So it’s worth noting that according to the Judeo-Christian piece of the spiritual pie, our nose is how we got our souls: “And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.” (Genesis 2:7). And so it goes; no nose, no breath, no soul, no life. The inability to smell is considered a spiritual impairment, as then the body would not be connected to the soul.
Beyond the bible, in all sorts of spiritual circles, smell is wildly important when it comes to creating scared space. Walk through any house of the divine and you might smell Frankincense or Himalayan herbs. When it comes to my own sacred space, I would never sit down to write without burning something like Spider Woman, a handmade incense to enhance creativity from The Sword and Rose in San Francisco.
But sadly in urban society, smell doesn’t get a lot of attention unless we are avoiding bad aromas, or being lured into a restaurant by the part of our sense of smell that’s connected to our taste buds. And FYI The estimated size of the global antiperspirant and deodorant market in 2015 is $18 billion. That’s a lot of hush money when it comes to B.O.
If our sense of smell is the basic bitch, then in modern society sight is like top dog. Although perhaps touch should be alpha when it comes to love, just consider the fundamental M.O. of generation Tinder: we decide whether or not we’re willing to even meet someone via Google image.
Now more than ever the Internet has forced us to determine attraction in the context of sight, and this is highly problematic. Your eyes can’t tell you important things like if he smells like truffles* – or if he will like the taste between your legs.
I remember a period of time when looks mattered most to me, but that theory went out the window when I met a bald, portly guy who excelled in touch. And in college there was this guys who was totally HST (Hot, Smart & Talented), but something about him smelled like that acronym too – if you add an “I” and rearrange the letters. He smelled of mothballs, stale laundry, last night’s beer, and whatever is growing underneath your nails. You could argue that most college guys smelled like that, but there was something in his skin that was repulsive to me. Easy on the eyes, but extremely hard on the nose.
For all the sight hype, looks can grow on you provided you enjoy someone’s personality or feel they love you in the way you need to be loved. But I would be willing to bet big money that the same doesn’t go for smell. It’s too polarizing. It’s too ancient and primitive, too deeply tied to good and bad and fight or flight. I couldn’t hang around a person who smelled vile no matter how many boxes he or she ticked.
I knew I couldn’t write this piece without reading Rachel Herz’s The Scent of Desire and in it she writes this: “body chemistry plays a startlingly large role in who we are attracted to, and our nose speaks loudly to our souls even if it seems like only a barely audible whisper.”
The smell I smelled on him, spoke unequivocally to my soul – but rather than a whisper, it was an ecstatic scream. It turns out it was actually the mating call of an immune system complimentary to mine, a seed’s serenade to its ideal fertile soil. This scent, which scientifically can belong to one person and one person only, was designed for me. And so, my humanity must surrender and be humbled.
I’m an animal. I know this because lately I feel comfortable on all fours and my nose knows the answers to the questions like ‘who should I have sex with’ and ‘how can I ensure my children will survive.’
Fun Facts:
*Some truffles contain a steroid, androstenol, which gives them the musky nutty taste. That same steroid is also synthesized by human males in the testes and secreted by their sweat glands. I love truffles. I love men. Makes so much sense! Makes me want to listen to this.
When I did the Landmark Forum, I was following in the footsteps of the most badass people I know – and I learned some invaluable life lessons. So why did I find myself asking; ‘is Landmark a cult?’ By Ruby Warrington. Images: Alex Prager for Garage Magazine.
Half way into day three at the Landmark Forum, I was ready to run for the hills. Along with 150 or so other people, from every walk of life, I had been cooped-up in a windowless basement in midtown Manhattan for almost 13 hours a day straight, whilst being told that everything I knew about myself, about my beliefs, and about the world, was an illusion. An illusion created by my “always listening” mind (Landmark speak for the ego) to avoid taking full responsibility for my life.
The course leader was busy psyching the crowd up for the “big reveal” – the key teaching of the Forum that would come later that day, embracing which, we’d been promised, would lead to a life of “infinite possibilities”. So long as we “enrolled” everybody else we knew into the Landmark conversation too (at $600 a pop), and then committed to an on going ($900+) study of their “curriculum for life”.
All around me, people had already been having life-changing epiphanies as they’d worked the course – coming out from behind their “rackets” (“fixed ways of being that result in persistent complaints”) and calling friends and family members they had been “pretending” things were cool with to “cough up the fur-ball” of their most shaming truths (‘Mom, I never come visit because actually it felt like you never really loved me’).
Encouraged to publically share their breakthroughs, there had been tears, and there had been cheers. And here I was, feeling an almost physical repulsion to the teachings. Earlier, we’d been asked to identify our “strong suits” – coping mechanisms we’d adopted at key points of trauma in our lives, which had become “ways of acting and being you rely on to produce results and make it in life.” Which, obviously, had to go, along with all the other “stories” you told yourself about…yourself.
I’d identified one of my strong suits as what I always considered a healthy degree of scepticism, or discernment. It’s what made me a good editor. But now it felt like a straight jacket. I’d paid my money and I wanted a breakthrough too! But all I could think, as I took in the scenes around me, was; “OMG this is actual brainwashing in action. Why did nobody warn me Landmark is…a cult?!”
The “c-word” hit the headlines last week, in the aftermath of the HBO documentary Going Clear – an inside expose on the Church of Scientology. And watching the opening scenes, in which they described the Church’s central process of “auditing” members in order to process their limiting beliefs, I was taken right back to that basement room in the Landmark HQ.
Was Landmark Scientology lite?
The dictionary definition of “brainwashing” is; “to make (someone) adopt radically different beliefs by using systematic and often forcible pressure”. True, nobody forced me to do the Landmark Forum – I actually decided to sign up because I knew so many amazing, go-getting, and seemingly highly-evolved individuals who’d done it, and I basically wanted a piece.
But the constant pressure throughout the course to “enrol” our friends, co-workers, and family members definitely crossed over into coercion territory in my book – echoing the way Scientologists are asked to “disconnect” from any people in their life who don’t adopt the teachings of the church. It’s also the kind of behaviour that gets organisations labelled “cult”, opposed to simply “community” or “club”.
The fact that during Landmark I was also confined to that one windowless room for three consecutive 13-hour days, with minimal breaks for food, and asked not to take notes or go to the toilet (this used to be enforced rigidly, but nobody actually stopped me when I did sneak out for a restroom break), also felt a lot like “systematic” pressure to adopt their teachings.
Then there was the bizarre lingo and double-talk they used to scramble my synapses and “re-program” my thinking. Overall, by the time I left, my scepticism very much intact, it felt simultaneously like a narrow escape…and like there must be something really, really wrong with me.
Watching Going Clear (named for the ultimate goal in Scientology – a mind that’s completely “clear”, or washed, of negative beliefs), the phrase that kept returning to me was; “the Emperor’s New Clothes.”
You know the story right? About the sneaky tailor who convinces the Emperor his “invisible” new suit is actually made of the finest cloth. In fear of questioning their leader’s beliefs, the Emperor’s subjects go along with it – complementing him on his beautiful new clothes, despite the fact they can see for themselves he’s naked.
And this desire to conform is something I felt they played on at Landmark, too. Deeply rooted in our most basic psychology, human beings are pack animals after all. Positioning yourself as the outsider is also something akin to suicide on a primal level. In ancient times, distancing yourself from the tribe was a sure-fire way to get killed by predators, or die from lack of food and warmth. Going along with what’s being indoctrinated therefore is not only preferable, it’s the only truly “safe” option.
Did that explain why everybody around me was whooping and cheering when the “big reveal” finally occurred…while it seemed to me like the biggest “racket” on the planet?
Coming out of Landmark, I immediately wanted to speak to the switched-on women I knew who’d done it too. I was desperate to know if they’d felt the same as me – or if I was, in fact, a hopelessly repressed freak-a-zoid, too scared of facing my own demons to even acknowledge their existence. The overarching response I got was that yes, it was a huge shame that there was so much cult-like emphasis on “enrolment”, and the accompanying financial hard sell. Because the teachings in and of themselves were awesome…right?
And here comes the really interesting part. Seven months on, I can see that they were absolutely right – and that the Landmark Forum was one of the most pivotal experiences on my inner journey to date.
We are all slaves to our monkey minds; we do self-sabotage with the stories we choose to believe about ourselves; and we do have to allow ourselves to be vulnerable, to “look bad”, and to see beyond the illusion of reality, in order to evolve into the highest expression of ourselves. It is in this place of ultimately authentic self-expression that a life of infinite possibility lies.
Behind all the crazy linguistics and mental manipulation, these are the central teachings of Landmark (and of Scientology, from what I’ve read, not to mention Buddhist philosophy!). With hindsight, I can see how having them strong-armed into my psyche over that one mind-bending weekend last September forced me, on some deep level, to accept and work with limiting parts of myself I used to believe were unassailable.
I’ve since had the kind of searingly honest conversations with my mother that have taken our relationship to a whole other level. I no longer blindly accept what my belief system tells me, and look instead to the cold, hard facts of life.
And if I railed against actually calling any people in my life to “get complete” during my Landmark weekend (I had a lengthy email exchange with my mom, and called a friend to confess a very innocuous white lie), I have since embraced the concept of not sugar-coating stuff for fear of upsetting people, or getting a bad reaction – and seen massive benefits. All common sense stuff, actually, “but delivered in an environment of startling intensity,” as another journalist wrote about Landmark.
As for the “big reveal”? You’ll have to do the Forum and find out what it is for yourself. And if that means I’m now “enrolling” you – well, there must be some chinks in my sceptical strong suit after all.
Have you done the Landmark Forum? What did you get out of it? Connect and share your stories on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook
To find out more about the Landmark Forum and their courses visit Landmarkworldwide.com
Don’t get grossed out! The perfect poop (PP) is a sign that mind and body are working in perfect harmony. Ayurvedic practitioner Wolf Medicine says finding hers meant leaving New York City…
Image: Oh…by Edward Edwards via Behance.net
Forgive the crude title, but the Ayurvedic practitioner in me can’t help but get real about bowel movements. After all, a good gut is the key to good health and lately I’ve become obsessed with poop because I know it’s about more than just taking a dump. When shit ‘ain’t right down there, it’s a sign that shit ‘ain’t right in the mind – and in the name of addressing both, I find myself on a quest to figure some stuff out in my life.
Essentially, my ultimate goal in Ayurveda school was to experience the Perfect Poop (PP) – which is what all the doctors and practitioners who taught me actually referred to it as. The PP occurs first thing in the morning upon waking. A friend of mine says the urge to poop is what wakes her up in the morning. It should be shaped like a banana or a coiled up snake (yes this is truly possible), and yellowish brown in color.
If you aren’t gagging or disgusted by now, congrats! You are an emotionally mature person. If this is grossing you out then you’d better read on, because once you realize how important it is to have the PP daily, you will be looking in that toilet and jumping up and down with glee and admiration when it finally does occur.
For me, achieving the PP is epic, a sign that I am truly taking care of my body. The thing is, it only ever happens when I leave New York (my home) for vacation, or if I take a day or two off work. Seriously, I once went to visit my mom in Texas and was pooping perfect poops for days. And recently, after being constipated for three days, I had a morning off and experienced a moment of PP glory that brought such a sense of calm and happiness I almost took a picture to show to my friends.
I had been eating Ayurvedic meals of root veggies, ghee, Kitchari, and all that good stuff, and drinking warm water in the morning and Triphala tea at night for several days in addition to taking ‘moments of silence’ (my phrase for meditation) each morning. Then, it happened: not just a nice, long, snake-like poo in the toilet, but proof that my body was responding to my good intentions. A sign that mind and body were working in perfect harmony!
Getting all the waste out of the body, not only physical but mental waste as well, is how we stay healthy. Put good food and thoughts in, and the kidneys, liver and colon will get the ‘bad’ stuff out. What happens if it stays in? Well, cancer for one thing. And migraines. And skin rashes and acne and a host of other ailments and diseases. If the crap isn’t coming out via the rectum, then it’s coming out in the skin, or festering in the colon, liver or blood, or wherever else the body decides to store it. Then it gets rotten and toxic, and then you got problems.
Which brings me to 2009. Back then I was in my late twenties and drank one to two bottles of wine a day. After months of my skin breaking out in either acne or eczema, I decided to change my ways for good. I didn’t really pay attention to poop then. I knew constipation was bad because I’d read it somewhere and that was about it. I was pretty regular but relied heavily on coffee to help me ‘go,’ which, I later learned, was also contributing to all the skin issues.
So I quit drinking coffee and alcohol (and ‘til this day I feel like if I can accomplish both those things, then I can do anything in this lifetime. ANYTHING). I cut out gluten, and later, much later, processed sugar (another REALLY difficult journey that’s a whole different conversation).
I also started reading about Ayurveda, and even went to an Ayurvedic doctor who put me on a diet of no onions, garlic, tomatoes, shell fish, cashews, peanuts, yogurt, fermented food, coffee or alcohol, along with having me take a bunch of Indian herbs and immune boosting vitamins. Meat was also off the menu, but I decided I needed at least one thing in my life that I could still enjoy. Was this hard for me to stick to? Hell no! I actually found I thrive off this kind of shit.
I love a challenge, and I’m so vain that if it keeps my skin clear, I will do it. For the next eight or so months I pretty much stayed away from partying and instead ate really well and read books at home. I actually don’t remember if I was having regular bowel movements at that time but I assume my digestion was better.
The bad news is, I was still getting eczema outbreaks every so often despite my saint-like diet. About two years into my new Ayurvedic life, a friend suggested I try meditation. I felt my body stiffen and my mind shut down (but not in the good, meditative way) as soon as she suggested it. Sit still? Not think? Quitting coffee is one thing…but for somebody whose made restlessness an art form, that shit is impossible.
You think checking your Facebook or Instagram non-stop in a problem? Well I laugh, ‘cause that is child’s play people. Try not committing to ANYTHING, ever, as your life’s work. Routine, consistency, commitment, stillness…all of it is like kryptonite to me. I’m amazed I’m still with my current girlfriend (it’s been nine months which is like nine years for me).
I have yet to join a club, organization or class, and stick with it for more than a month. I have also managed to avoid a permanent place of employment throughout my twenties and into my mid-thirties. The list of careers I have either attempted so far include, but are not limited to: joining the peace corps, working on a boat, becoming an ordained minister, being a massage therapist, homeopath, acupuncturist, psychiatrist, naturopath, bike mechanic, addiction counselor, hermit, herb farmer, stripper, dominatrix, queer porn actor, houseboy, dancer, choreographer, yoga teacher (that is still something I’m looking into) and many more.
I’ve also made several attempts at figuring out how to make a living hanging out in the desert or the beaches of Hawaii and Australia (I’m actually still looking into those). All of this is to say my passions and interests vary, and rarely stick. So if I can’t even choose a life path then how in the hell am I going to meditate even three minutes a day (my goal each morning when I wake up)?
People often blame New York, saying it breeds this sort of behavior in folks. I hear over and over that there is so much variety here – so many paths to choose – that people take on too much. I’ve come to believe it isn’t New York that makes people this way – rather, it’s a mecca for people who already have this monkey-mind-I-love-to-be-busy-and-do-as-much-as-possible quality in them. New York is where busy people come to get off on being busy.
How does this relate back to the PP? My digestion got really fucked up when I lost a long-term freelance job, around the same time my friend suggested mediation to me. And what I’ve learned about pooping, or lack thereof, is that if your mind isn’t settled, calm and in harmony with your body, then the rest of your body will not function properly.
This is an illustration of the direct link between mind and body. If your mind is scattered and frantic, then your digestion will be scattered and frantic and too – thus, constipation (and lots of other symptoms that come under the umbrella term IBS). In Ayurveda this is called a ‘vata’ imbalance. Vata is ether and air. It is a quality within each of us that is light, cold, rough, dry and constantly moving. It is located in the mind and pelvis. You can’t always see ether and air but they are there.
So how to address this imbalance? I have learned to find a calm, grounded place for my mind through meditation and yoga. For me, sticking to routine as much as possible also helps. Any divergent from my morning or evening routine means no PP for me. I seriously need two hours each morning of quiet time – no talking, no rushing to get ready, no looking at lots of crap on the internet – in order to properly evacuate my bowels.
My girlfriend and I recently made an agreement to block Facebook from our lives and to have silence in the morning to either sip warm water or do pranayama, and that has helped a lot. When I still get eczema every now and then, I know the feedback my body is giving me is that a time of retreat will do me some good – in addition to upping my dosage of probiotics and blood cleansing herbs.
As for finally settling on a career as an Ayurvedic practitioner? Using the practice to heal myself and my poop has shown me that it’s my dharma to share Ayurveda with others. Oh wait. Or is my path simply to become a yogi, practicing svadhyaya in the mountains of northern India? For now I commit to listen to my body and follow its guidance.
Have you found a way to do the PP too? We’re all yogis here, so come share your stories on Twitter, Instagram (maybe not your photos tho) and Facebook
Satya Jewelry is the ultimate high vibe jewelry line; it’s founder, Satya Scainetti, is the ultimate inspiration when it comes to working with your dharma…
Satya Scainetti at home in Manhattan
“The idea of stepping away from life to find all the answers…like Jesus and Buddha found enlightenment when they quit? There’s a lot to that…”
Satya Scainetti, a born-and-bred New Yorker, was gifted her spiritual name on graduating a 30-day yoga teacher training in 2000. Disillusioned with her career in social work, she found herself at a crossroads; gifted with a talent for reiki, “I was like, okay God, if this is what you want from me I’m good to go, but I’ve also got to make money…”
And so, perhaps the yoga training would lead to a bone fide practise as a healer. But on that same graduation night she also had a prophetic dream. In it, she learned that it was her dharma to create a line of spiritual jewelry also named Satya, meaning “all truth,” so she could then “donate money to children all around the world.” Within weeks, Satya Jewelry was born, and over the past decade has given over $1 million to countless children’s charities.
I first encountered Satya’s line at NYC’s Golden Bridge yoga studio (she was one of the original investors in the kunadlini institution), and was pretty much blown away by the downright numinosity of it all! Super chic pieces that wouldn’t look out of place in the pages of Vogue, but that also carried a deeply spiritual message.
“My whole intention is for people to find a piece that speaks to them – be it a symbol, or a healing stone they intuitively know they need. Which is mind-blowing, because we do know…I encourage my customers to trust that intuition, that knowingness. If you’re drawn to something, there’s a reason.”
The notion of dharma, life purpose that comes from a desire to be of service, is emerging all around as the resounding theme for 2015, and Satya’s story embodies this message.
“The awakening I had when this business took off was that that you can have everything – just make sure the intention is for the good of all. Then the Universe will open every door needed to make your dreams come true!” The key, then, is to think big. “We limit ourselves all the time. We say, ‘THIS is my goal, if I get THERE it will be enough,’ but we need to be open to what the Universe actually has in store for us.”
Satya, you are an inspiration among women! Read on for how this Material Girl totally rocks her Mystical World…
:: MA T E R I A L G I R L ::
MY LABEL I’m a clothes fiend. I love Club Monaco, BCBG, and I’m a big Zara fan. I have a tonne of DVF’s dresses. Max Mara. I love Donna Karan. Handbags? Marc Jacobs, hands down.
MY SHOES You put a pair of heels on, everything changes – I love what it does to my body, and it gives me confidence! My favorites are Jimmy Choo and Christian Louboutin. I actually met him in Paris. I was there with a friend who went to school with him, and bought my first pair in the store on the Rue du Faubourg Saint-Honoré. They were orgasmically beautiful. That same night we end up bumping into him and going for tea! I was like, do we get the friends and family discount now?
MY JEWELRY I’m a mala fiend because I believe in the power of the mala. I was wearing my black onyx mala around the time my kids were born, twin boys. Black onyx is the stone of endurance, and I was so drawn to it! It’s all I wore for two years. Starting the business I wore all green – which is the heart chakra – because it was all coming from there. I also buy a lot of ornate Indian jewelry, but it’s all at home in my box.
MY PAMPERING I’m a Lumiere girl, I spend more money on that cream than I want to but I’m addicted! I must have a pedicure, even in the winter, every ten days, and I get a massage every week from David at Think Pink Nails in the West Village. I call him my Sumo wrestler. He does the energy work, the stones, and he’s so strong that one hour just puts it all back into place.
MY FOOD I’m a vegetarian…but I’m also Italian, so I love pasta! Yoga has helped me eat more mindfully, so I know when to stop – but at the same time I’ll totally binge on something like pizza when I want it. Italians are brought up that food is love, and I’m always telling my kids; ‘I put a little extra love and kisses in your dinner tonight, do you taste it?’
MY HOME My home is beautiful. Everything is very zen, I have an amazing garden with Buddhas and a sun-room with a beautiful canopy bed. I’m into cosy homes, I’ve got one of those couches that puts people to sleep. For me, home is where I can take a breath and feel relaxed, where I can really not be ‘on’ – because I’m on a lot.
MY AWAKENING Everybody sleeps in my bed right now, the dogs, the kids…it’s a king, thank god, but it’s very crowded because they’re getting big! And before we get out of bed we start the day with gratitude, and name two things we’re grateful for – it’s so important to start the day that way, because from that place everything just gets better.
MY SIGN I’m a Capricorn – strong, and one of the most devoted friends you’ll ever have. Truly, if you have me as a friend, you are blessed. I am very good at business, but I’m also ruled by the heart. I see astrology as a guide. I don’t have a therapist, but I do have an astrologer – when you’re aware of what’s happening in your chart, you can start being directed with where you put your energy. I have a great guy called David, who helped with the launch of this company. It was plotted down to the day.
MY MANTRA I have so many! But for right now? I feel like I’m at an exciting point of change, so it’s simple: ‘help me be open to what’s next.’
MY HEALER God! He’s it. I’m a believer.
MY READING I’m a big fan of Thich Nhat Hanh. His teachings are so user friendly for the real world, and simply show how to incorporate more happiness in your life. His book on relationships, Teachings on Love, lays out such a beautiful way to live your life, and if I could pick one book to start you on a new journey that would be it.
MY MISSION Right now it’s to build my brand to a place where I can really make a huge difference in the world. The $1m-plus we’ve given already is a drop in the ocean of what I want to do, so the next 13 years I’ll be amping up the work I do with my foundation, keeping the focus on helping children. The next generations will be the ones to make a difference in the world, and I’m going to help them do that.
MY TRANSFORMATION My transformation is through my practise of meditation and yoga, and using it to really tap into God. Whatever you want to call it, I mean that knowingness that’s inside all of us.
A Unicorn among women, designer and textile maven Victoria Keen is among the most magical of the creatures in the Numiverse. From her high vibrational yoga line, to her encyclopedic knowledge of the esoteric healing arts, this woman walks the Numi walk – and then some. Here’s this week’s peek into a very Mystical World…
My Label V-Keen is my label. I am a textile and clothing designer, among other things, and I’ve been rocking my original hand drawn textiles since 2002, making printed everything from yoga leggings to wool cashmere suits to furniture. My ethos has been high vibrational clothing made in NYC since the beginning. And I love print. A LOT. Chisato Tsumori’s work does it for me – it’s fantastic, whimsical, over the top and amazing.
My Shoes I don’t get to wear them enough, but I just used my favorite Balenciaga’s in a recent Goddess Tribe shoot I did. I got them in a Barney’s sale, and I had my son Zephyr in a front pack while I tried them on. The other ladies shopping were applauding, it was a pretty hilarious sight. I haven’t shopped that Barney’s sale again, but this winter I plan on making myself some hand felted boots in the style of the Mongolian Nomads.
My Fragrance For years now (like 10!) I’ve been obsessed with my friend’s hand made line out of Vermont, called Lunaroma. Her Neroli I can’t live without. It makes me feel powerful and reminds me of ancient Egypt in a way I can’t explain. In fact, I just read that Neroli was a beloved scent of the priestesses of Isis….
My Jewels Since I was a kid I’ve always been fascinated with the ancient human practice of body modification. I love unusual ear piercings with intricate set ups, and there’s a black diamond encrusted hoop for my daith I’ve been pining after.
My Pampering I love a facial from Britta Plugg in Williamsburg when I want to pamper myself. Way beyond a facial, she uses the most incredible organic products along with heated salt stones and light therapy to induce an out of body state of relaxation. Love it!
My Home My home is its own colorful universe. I share a live/work studio with my partner, our 6-year-old son, our Frenchie pug, a fish tank, a veritable jungle of plants along with my entire V-Keen inventory and samples, my library of books, a 28” wind gong and various instruments, my many collections of photographs, masks, crystals, travel treasures, and of course all of my fiber art and crafting supplies… We don’t have a couch or a TV, but it works somehow.
My Food I am a total kitchen witch and elixir mixer, in fact I just made some saffron infused full moon ghee…and a love potion I’m digging lately is rose and tulsi tea with muddled raspberries and mint, aloe vera, lime, raw honey and sprouted chia seeds, with Rose Quartz and Opal gem essences. Beyond!
:: MYSTICAL WORLD ::
My Awakening Morning rituals are my favorite. I have been evolving my own very personal dinacharya for a while now, with many specific steps I can do in under twenty minutes. Here is a simple morning offering I made last week. I lit a candle and connected with my ancestors, spirit guides, and animal totems.
Victoria’s morning mandala
My Sign Gemini Sun, Leo Rising, Scorpio Moon #hardcore
My Mantra “All day you make because delight is in the making. You make because by making love comes in” –Ann Filemyr (from the We-Moon Calendar 2014)
My Healer Making things with my hands is my personal Prozac for self-soothing. I’ve also done a lot of work with my biofield (aura). Some of the healing methods I’ve experienced and loved are Transformational Breath, Sound Balancing, DNA Potentiation, ThetaHealing, Past Life Regression, and Matrix Energetics to name some. Currently I’m doing Vikaz. It’s still mysterious to me what happens in each session and I can’t quite put it to words, but it has been incredible and a lifesaver this last year.
My Transformation This year I made a decision to take a pause with my clothing line, which I have been full on with since 2002, to pursue my love of sound and energy medicine. It was terrifying to go into that unchartered territory, but also hugely transformative to give up an identity I had carried for so long. In that space, so many new projects have sprung up I’m feeling more creative than ever.
My Mission Ultimately, my mission in life is to weave together all of my widely different and disparate interests and life experiences into a living breathing form of art that’s completely unique to me.
This week’s Material Girl is MiN New York co-founder Mindy Yang – purveyor of fine fragrance, and pursuer of life’s pleasures…
Mindy Yang is co-founder fine fragrance apothecary MiN New York
Greetings from London! Because I’ve decided I need some sunshine this actual Christmas, I’ve gone all American and travelled “home” (as in, the place of my birth as opposed to where I call home now) for the Thanksgiving holiday instead. The timing of my trip also coincided neatly with an invitation to speak about all things Numinous at an event by global trend forecasting agency The Future Laboratory. Which means we basically ARE the future, Numis.
How interesting that the day of my talk, two friends emailed me the link to this brilliant Huffington Post article by Dianne Collins, author of a book called Do You QuantumThink? New Thinking That Will Rock Your World. In it, she basically says a slice of society she calls The Consciousness Crowd are “the new mainstream”. So take that as your cue to come out of the spiritual closet and fly your Numi colors proud!
As I’ve mainly been travelling and finishing up deadlines (like working on our 2014 Instagram Awards – check it out if you haven’t already), my Mystical Life has fallen by the wayside a little this week (insert sad face). But I did use Gabby Bernstein’s “backpack meditation” (see below) to calm my pre-talk jitters. Public speaking is my big dry-mouth-heart-palpitations fear, but seeing as it seems to be happening more often, I’m actually planning some sessions with mystic Stewart Pearce – a.k.a. The Alchemy of Voice (and none other than Lady Di’s speaking coach – um, sign me up).
So I met this week’s Matreial Girl when I first moved to New York, and immediately fell in love with her otherworldly fragrance boutique. I think I walked away with about a million samples, because don’t you just love perfume? The nose is perhaps the most Numinous of our sensory organs – I’m constantly amazed how a particular smell or scent can become my own personal time travel device, transporting me down memory lane, or to an alternate reality altogether.
Then when I started following her brilliant Instagram feed, I realized Mindy was also a total Numi, and when I had the idea for this column she was right near the top of my list. A fellow Fire Dragon, the world through her eyes is a truly mystical place…and also happens to feature the best #foodporn on the planet.
“Your fragrance is an invisible armor and also what makes you unforgettable”
:: MATERIAL GIRL ::
My label I don’t have one favorite brand, but my love and appreciation for Yohji Yamamoto has grown to epic proportions over the years. Comfortable, timeless and chic, I enjoy wearing artisan garments that are also works of art.
Yohji Yamamoto AW14
My shoes I run around in heels and I have a soft spot for vintage shoes. I have an extensive collection of those. Some of my favorites are vintage YSLs.
My fragrance Your fragrance is an invisible armor and also what makes you unforgettable. As Vice President and Curator of MiN New York and an expert in this category, I am spoiled with rare, niche perfumes from around the world. But my signature scent has been SHAMAN, an olfactory art potion that we made for MiN New York’s Scent Stories, Volume 1. Old fashioned notes like violets, roses, incense, and patchouli swirl with modern aroma molecules (like aldehydes) to inspire a time-traveling mystic.The hologramic effect is magical. Each moment is immersive, yet surreal like a waking-dream… All of it is so very me.
SHAMAN by MiN New York, $240
My jewels I’m not a collector of jewelry, but I have a few rings that I wear daily (for sentimental reasons) along with a bracelet of meditation beads.
My pampering Sipping a well-aged scotch listening to something ambient or blue. Flipping through large coffee table books in the glow of my (MEMBERS ONLY) Union Club candle (bone China, gilded in gold; Scent of leather, balsam, smoke, and fire). And yes, I’m known to indulge in (perhaps too many) massages.
(MEMBERS ONLY) Union Club Candle, $195
My home When my intense days in the city are through, I retreat to a quaint neighborhood called Turtle Bay (by the UN). It’s my sanctuary on the isle of Manhattan.
My food I’m powered by coconut water, fruits, lots of tea, ginger, and mostly food from the sea.
My awakening A glass of fresh lemon juice and water with 8 drops of Cellfood, mediation and a short yoga session, followed by #PhotosForBreakfast. I browze the web for inspiratios each morning, and I share my favorite photographs via Instagram/Twitter/Facebook under @GoDolceVita.
My healer The Healer is in each of us, and I learned to activate my inner power when I became a Reiki Master over 15 years ago. Through reiki, aromatherapy, massage, meditating, working with crystals, mudras, etc, I believe healing is all simply energy. Taking time to recharge in solitude is important to me. To embrace it all and let go, to transform, to inspire, to create. With awareness, you can amplify the good. Perception is reality and a positive attitude is everything!
My transformation If you live each moment with awareness and take the time to reflect, it’s easy to see (and deeply appreciate) the journey. Reiki opened my eyes to a different way of understanding how things works over 15 years ago. Since then, my yoga and meditation practice have intensified my energetic world. I’m fortunate to be able to express myself creatively in my professional life through art and design, in colors, scents, experiences, even music. Now a curious light warrior, I think and live in a empowered metaphysical Universe where the law of attraction rules and dreams come true if you are willing to manifest them.
“My yoga and meditation practice have intensified my energetic world”
My mission Exploring the beauty of moments with gratitude.
Ellie Burrows has a confession. The mood of the Autumnal Equinox has got her turned on to the idea of…commitment? Portrait: Mikal Marie Photography
I’m hanging in the balance.
It’s the Autumnal Equinox and we’re halfway between rosé in the sand with a tan and cashmere socks and Schnaps.
For the Earth, the Equinox represents a point of balance. This year, for my heart, it’s the tipping point.
June, July and August are releasing their hypnotic hold on me. My rear view mirror is filled with the boys of summer and their hard bodies at pool parties. No more fist pumps to summer jams or kisses that taste like Pina Coladas. Goodbye to short shorts and tiny dresses. Gone are the days of sweaty hands up my skirt and sticky rolls in the sheets while blasting AC to bring down all the heat.
Fall means I’m 90 miles from mistletoe with just one stop for turkey. It’s about back to school, back to work, a return to obligations. It’s time for knitwear and leggings and with them along comes all sorts of longings. We’re plunging into colder climates, descending into darkness, and harvesting in order to hibernate. And all that impending cold just makes me want to snuggle up and pair down. Fall always sings songs of commitment and for the first time in a long time, I want to sing along and settle in with a romantic partner.
When I initially sat down to write this article, I wanted to explore the transition from a Summer Fling to a Fall of Love. The original pitch was something about “turning your Montauk share into a home ownership.” In New York City, the hot months have an echo and it sounds like “dating in the summer is hard.” Trying to get a relationship off the ground in high season is like trying to swim against an undertow. Everything is in motion and everyone is gone on the weekends. But when autumn arrives and beach rentals end, the restaurants in the city are filled with hopeful singles once again trying to figure out how to keep their beds perpetually warm for winter.
Telling my readers how to turn a steamy summer hookup into something more substantial felt like teaching them how to take a cold shower. When you let the hot air out of the balloon, it floats to Earth. It felt strange to try to decode the alchemy of love, because it’s a magical process of transformation and the infinite combinations make it impossible to boil it down to a single formula. The heart is just not a transactional place.
But something is shifting in me and it’s right on schedule with the Earth’s rhythms. In my own personal Equinox it feels like I’m on a seesaw suspended in air at zero degrees. From this place of balance, I can see exactly what’s changing in me.
I never really dated with the purpose of finding a boyfriend, a husband, or “the one”. Like masturbation, I date because it feels really good. I learn by experience and it’s always been up to the experience to determine its own purpose, a purpose that only comes into focus in hindsight. I always felt that being attached to outcome when it came to dating was a hindrance, a one-way ticket on the disappointment express. However if I’m being really honest with myself, my lack of vision was buying that same ticket at a cheaper price.
It seems rather silly to think about it now, but the idea of what I actually wanted out of dating never factored in. I think I may have flat out ignored it. I always thought I would figure it out along the way and that my wants, whatever they were, would reveal themselves to me in the process. Yet the only things that were continuously revealed were my “don’t wants.”
I want a man that’s mine. I want to wake up in the morning next to someone and I want that person to bring me black tea. I want to have a raging argument, walk out of the house and know that he will be there when I return. I want it all. I want to be alone and I want to be together. I want to be alone together.
This year, I’m not sad to see the dog days go. I’m leaving my summer playground in search of something more. I’m going to harvest my experiences and move into the winter of my being where it’s the quietest. Deep inside of me there is a burning desire to be in a devotional partnership. Somehow admitting that on the Internet is scarier than talking about my aroused vagina. It feels outrageously vulnerable, like standing on the street, in the middle of an epic blizzard, totally naked waiting for him to bring me a jacket. But, saying it out loud feels a million times hotter than playing it cool.
In this month’s column, Ellie Burrows investigates how the ancient Shamanic art of shapeshifting has infiltrated her relationships – and what she’s learned about herself in the process. Portrait: Katie Fischer.
Ask any of my friends – when it comes to my lovers, I’m known to be a shapeshifter. As in, I change form depending on my bedfellow. I admit it.
In 1998 I met my high school sweetheart. We wore Air Max 96’s, Jordans, Nike snap pants, and listened rap music in his black two-door Ford Explorer Sport. I had cornrows and rhinestone sunglasses. He was captain of the basketball team and regularly had one pant leg scrunched up to the knee. Young love at its finest, we were a match made in 1990s high school heaven. We were each other’s dawgs.
In the summer of 2006, I met an Israeli businessman twenty years my senior. It was always DJ Tiesto and the mispar echat (number one) everything: the number one restaurant, the number one hotel, the number one vodka, the number one yacht. Lots of excess, free love and bacchanalian behavior. Everything was a teachable moment and I learned all sorts of sexual lessons. He was a bird of prey and I was his helpless kill.
In my twenties, it was my seriously cool East Village architect. All raw denim all the time. No shampoo. He taught me how to dial down the fancy, wear my curly hair like a mane and eat meat off a bone. I was a lioness and he was my lion, the king and queen of a concrete jungle. We had a lot of pride. And frankly, that’s what killed us.
Shapeshifting litters the landscape of divine folklore and shamanic traditions. Magically speaking, it’s all about changing form in order to take on and assume the nature and qualities of a specific creature. A shapeshifter morphs in order to alter or enhance particular thoughts and perceptions or acquire new abilities. One changes shape to see and access the world from a different perspective.
As the dawg, the kill and the lion, I fully embraced and emulated the quality of each manimal I was with. I immersed myself in our love and thoroughly explored their natural habitats. I invoked their energy within myself, adopted their characteristics and saw the world from their vantage points.
This was a practice of sorts, the method by which I connected to the symbol of my desire. And it was most definitely a symptom of my immaturity. When I loved what they loved, enjoyed what they enjoyed and preferred what they preferred, I felt a deeper sense of closeness and communion. I think it goes, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, not love. And in fact I royally fucked up because I lost myself completely in each beast.
As of late, my ability to shapeshift is non-existent. Turns out, I prefer not being anything but myself. Venturing into someone else’s habitat and taking on their views, behaviors and tastes to enhance our connection no longer serves me – especially when that person drinks like a fish, doesn’t work out, lacks a connection to the divine or fucks without reverence for the act of fucking itself. I tried to get down with that species and it just didn’t work.
Changing form to align myself with my partner stifles my own needs in relationship. I became unrecognizable in the mirror and then there was no perspective at all. And if I can’t see my self in the mirror, then it defeats the whole point of partnership in the first place.
The mirror is one of my favorite metaphors for a lover, spouse, significant other, partner, friend or soul mate. It can feel vulnerable to step in front of a mirror and take a good look. You will see all your beauty, your ugly, your gains, your losses, your shortcomings and strengths. It can be exhilarating, humbling, ecstatic and painful. The human mirror is an extraordinary thing because we have the capacity to really understand our very existence in the presence of another being.
What ultimately serves me in my relationships now is to be in my true form, my authentic self, and see how I occur in the context of another human being. I’ve learned that it’s my responsibility to grow as a result of that reflection. And if I’m really honoring myself, then I can honor the other too, and hopefully be the ultimate mirror for them.
Ellie Burrows is a storyteller, seeker, mystic and guide living in New York City. Discover more at Ellieburrows.com
In the second instalment of her brilliant column on sex and spirituality, Ellie Burrows takes a Tantric approach to online dating…
I’m pretty sure I discovered the secret to online dating.
And it’s Tantra.
I’m not talking about super-connected, total body orgasm, tantric sex. I’m talking about the energetic concept that makes that kind of sex possible: balance of the masculine and feminine energies. Let me explain.
After getting out of a very intense five-year relationship, I actually took a year off from dating altogether. At the end of the year, I met a lovely lawyer in LA who subsequently flew to New York City to woo me. The weekend was wonderful. He really had his shit together, but one night lying naked in bed he called me a “stallion” – and I knew as soon as he uttered that word that we weren’t a match.
The part of me that was also a mare shuddered. But to his credit, the dating experience was so positive it got me back in the saddle and over my fear of opening up my sacred sexual energy to a new partner. I wanted to repeat it many times over with all different kinds of men. And that the fastest way for me to accomplish this was to bite the bullet and get online.
Almost immediately my inbox was flooded with hundreds of messages from dudes who:
1. Hadn’t actually read my profile: “hey sexy ;-)”
2. Were clever but weren’t particularly attractive: “Multiple photos of you in leggings before 11am. Thank you.”
3. Were so totally wrong for me (and also crazy, with really poor grammar): “So I was reading your profile and then I was like goddammit…this always happens every time, I’m reading some nice girl like your selfs profile and then I remember I didn’t check your diet…Bam! I know I’m fucked before I even look, she’s going to be a god damned vegan, CRAP! Then by some magical stroke of luck or maybe the stars have aligned in my favor I see, I see: “Strictly Anything”…fucking finally a girl who isn’t a new age picky bitch, thank god! Hi I’m Johnny, its nice to meet you.”
Where was the quality? Where were the guys that I would actually want to meet and touch in person? The discerning, thoughtful men weren’t sending messages to every chick on the site. Then I remembered three very important things.
1. I’m a class act. And if I’m online, then my equal is probably online, too.
2. Insecurity is not gender specific, and rejection is scary.
3. We all have egos that need to be stroked once in a while.
As I browsed through the online shopping mall of men, I realized my approach needed to evolve. Big time. What if the right men weren’t reaching out to me because they thought they might get rejected? What if they needed me to reach out to them? After all, my profile status was set to “Replies Very Selectively”. This was going to require a serious shift in consciousness. So like everywhere else in my life, I decided to approach it from a spiritual perspective.
When it comes to love and sex, Tantra is my subtext. And Tantra embraces opposites, playing with concepts of light and dark, attraction and repulsion, hot and cold, and obviously, male and female.
As Osho writes inThe Book of Secrets; “Tantra says that when the ultimate bliss and ecstasy comes inside you, it means your own positive and negative pole have come to a meeting – because every man is both man and woman, and every woman is both is both man and woman. You are born not only from woman or from man, you are born out of a meeting of the opposites.”
Now do me a favor and look between your legs. Seriously, look. Imagine what’s underneath those jeans…Now, completely forget what you just imagined. We’re all over the spectrum, people. There are masculine and feminine energies in all of us despite what our genitals tell us. Male energy is about focus, purpose, and drive. Female energy is about creativity, nurture, and radiance. ALL of those qualities are in EVERYONE. However, sometimes we get our energetic wires crossed when it comes to the dating dance and we can short circuit.
In 1995 the authors of The Rules, claimed that the male must be the sole initiator when it comes to dating. Yet according to ancient tantric rituals, the female is deeply revered and considered an initiator of sorts. She’s the creator. So you see, either the male or female energy can initiate. The feminine is always on the receiving side of the masculine penetration, but in Tantra “penetration” and “initiation” are two different things, and that’s where we get confused.
Having wrapped my head around this, I was now ready to send out some serious digital fuck me eyes.
My first online date was EPIC. A dreamy Vintner from Northern California (match 97%) was visiting the city and geo-locating attractive ladies using a feature called Quickmatch. Basically, the equivalent of telling me I was hot but not being bold enough to send a message.
I showed his photo to my friend Sarah who was staying with me for the week. Call it kismet, fate, even divine intervention, she responded; “Oh my God, I know him. That dude is amazing. I did some day-drinking with him a couple months ago in L.A. You need to message him.”
I dreaded sending my first message, but I knew it was all in the name of Tantra: “Small world moment of my day. Sarah was overlooking my shoulder when your face popped up on my quickmatch. She says you’re good stock.”
I gave no name. No mention of his profile. Didn’t ask him out. I wanted to rouse him out of his man cave, give him a little confidence, and let him know I was willing to play. Now it was up to him to show me his peacock feathers.
And boy, did he show me. He was only in town for two more days so he asked me out immediately. I was supposed to leave town but it was a blizzard outside and when I got snowed in, I agreed to meet him that night – which turned into a 36-hour first date. It included closing down two bars (Smith and Mills and a deserted Greenwich Hotel), dim sum (with his friend), sushi (just the two of us), two sleepovers (one at his, one at mine), and one flight change (his).
I can’t believe a computer told me I would like this person so much. So okay, online dating is kind of awesome.
Next, I tried my newfound strategy on a very handsome Corporate Lawyer with perfect abs and a brilliant mind whose profile I had been circling for a couple weeks (match 89%). We had also matched on Tinder, very equal opportunity in the cave-door knocking department. On OkCupid, we both had the same answer to the question “The most private thing you’re willing to admit?” which was that we both loved reading Missed Connections. I sent him the following:
“High percentages.
Tinder Match.
Missed Connections.
Nice Abs.
Your move.”
Again, no name. No overly thorough message. Just a little Tantric taunt.
Well, Corporate Lawyer asked me out immediately and told me that was the most effective message he had received to date. We went on a date and shared some steamy make outs and engaged in a pretty intense cerebral texting relationship. He also serenaded me with The Magnetic Fields’ “Come Back From San Francisco” begging me to return from visiting the aforementioned vintner. Timing wasn’t on our side; he got a new job, moved to Colorado, and although my body was back in New York the truth was that I had left my heart in San Francisco.
A key part of online dating is discernment. Over the course of four months I went on six dates, with five truly viable options. Only one was terrible. It was my first Tinder date and I didn’t vet him enough over text. Amateur hour.
But my point is, I didn’t go on hundreds of dates. I didn’t shoot twenty arrows and hope one hit a bull’s eye. I shot six and missed once. The men I met were of the highest quality and I had played my part in the courtship. It’s too bad I can’t have five boyfriends at once.
I’m sure it’s no surprise that in preparation for the this article I picked up The New Rules: The Dating Dos and Don’t for the Digital Generationto see how the game had changed with the advent of social media.Inside, I came across lines like “Don’t talk too much in the first weeks” and “Don’t write to guys first,” and “ignore winks.”
Yikes. I had to throw it across the room. It was entirely missing the opportunity for an open dialogue about the nature of our hearts and gave total disregard to spontaneity, two pretty important tenants of love. More importantly, it diminished the equal power of the male and the female to ignite something.
At its core Tantra is about expressing everything that “comes up,” including all that you feel. It’s about allowing ourselves to feel and express everything between two polarities. It would never have you suppress anything for the sake of strategy or gain. It wants you to dance openly with everything and everyone you encounter. It’s all checks and balances, and I am glad I went with the ancient wisdom on this one.
Which makes me a rule-breaker I guess. But I expressed myself fully and created something magical.
NB: I had roughly 1000 words to make my case for Tantra as an online dating strategy, so I’ve seriously cherry picked my way through the infinite Tantric garden here. For a more in depth lesson, see the following reading list:
