THE TRUTH ABOUT SOULMATES

Think love should be like a screening of “The Notebook”? The truth about soulmates is dutch ovens, stretch marks, and past life pacts, says comedian and energy healer Jessica Brodkin. Main Image: Mariano Peccinetti.

jessica brodkin the truth about soulmates ruby warrington the numinous mariano peccinetti 

Want to learn the truth about soulmates? Then listen to a psychic healer who’s had two divorces and a broken engagement. Trust me—I’ve met a lot of soulmates. But after massive heartbreak, and seeing my own clients through theirs, the same patterns and solutions have begun to emerge.

And I’ve discovered that real soulmates aren’t like the people you see in The Notebook. They’re more like my Mom and Dad, who believe they are soulmates…and who make fun of each other. “I must have been a real jerk to your father in a past life to have to put up with him now,” my Mom frequently quips.

With Venus retrograde until April 15th, we have an opportunity to re-examine our relationship with love, and to determine what is and isn’t working for us. Here are the five things I wish I’d known about soulmates ten years ago… 

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1. Your Soulmates are Not Just Your Lovers 
I think of incarnating (being born into your current life and body) as traveling with a plane full of your friends to Cancun, with only a few vague plans. “Marissa—see you on Tuesday in Tulum. Mark—save the last night for me, we’re going dancing and I wanna make out in the sand. ”

As someone who has always believed in past lives, I was one of those creepy kids who remembered how I died. I have a strong conviction that we travel throughout our lives with some of the same people in order for our souls to grow. Your mother, your siblings, your nephews, your boss, and even your roommate can all potentially be your soulmates.

Reading List: Carolyn Myss’ Sacred Contractsand Michael Newton’s Journey of Souls. 

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2. The Person You Think is Your Soulmate is Probably Healing Your Parental Issues
If you feel that your partner is tormenting you, he or she is probably helping to heal your parental issues. According to a lot of psychological theories, we choose partners based on the hurts we either experienced or witnessed as children.

In the summer of 2015, my then husband and I were planning on having a child. Two healers had something to say about this—the first that things weren’t going to work out as planned, but I wasn’t ready to hear that my marriage was going to end soon. However, the second healer convinced me to do a detox in order to have a healthy baby and halfway through, I realized I could not have a baby with this man. His issues, and our issues, were unresolved stuff from my childhood. He was definitely one of my soulmates, if not necessarily “the one”…

Reading List: Harville Hendrix’s Getting the Love You Want

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3. Love the One You’re With
We all like to think we’re royalty, but we’re more like Princess Fiona—expecting some charming prince or princess, but falling in love with Shrek instead. While Fiona became a green ogre in order to love him, when I got married and ruined my credit rating. Which is to say, your soulmate may not come in the package you expect, and he or she may be more into dutch ovens than you’d like.

What if the imperfect partner you have right now is your soulmate, and what if soulmates didn’t have to be forever? All of our partners are teachers—and some are here to show us our shadow side. If we abandon our current partner without doing the inner work they ask, we’ll find ourselves repeating our relationship patterns over and over again.

Reading List: Deepak Chopra’s A Path to Love

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4. Love Yourself, Too

There’s nothing more important than loving yourself. Trust me—I’m trying to get a crystal sex toy company to sponsor my radio show. This isn’t about arrogance, or attention-seeking behavior. It’s about accepting yourself where you are, and seeing the perfection in your imperfection. So love yourself so a partner can meet you where you are in life—the partner in your life is always a vibrational match for how you feel about yourself right now.

Write a gratitude list of all the awesome things about you. Talk to your stretch marks and scars, and tell them that you love them. Think of all the fun you had creating them! Practice self care. What makes you feel like a queen? What brings you bliss? Follow that joy.

Reading List: Gala Darling’s Radical Self-Love and Louise Hay’s How to Love Yourself

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5. And Finally … Trust Your Intuition
I once went to a psychic who told me I had a ghost baby living inside of me…and that I needed to pay her $700 to have a ghost abortion. I told her that for $700, I was going to keep the ghost baby. When I was in the middle of my divorce, another psychic told me that a new suitor was my twin flame (a.k.a. super soulmate). After being stood up multiple times, I started to think differently.

If I could give only one message to people who feel any sort of fear or insecurity about their love lives, I would say “Don’t go to psychics!” Even though I’m also a psychic and medium, I work primarily as a healer because I want my clients to develop their own intuition instead of relying on something outside of themselves.

People usually go to psychics to calm their fears. But one of the most difficult (and beautiful) parts of being human is to embrace your life despite those fears. To live your life, and love with reckless abandon. If your heart gets broken you will survive, eventually heal, and then learn to love again!

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Jessica Brodkin is a Reiki energy healer and stand up comedian based in New York City. She is an MIT and Johns Hopkins graduate who worked for the Central Intelligence Agency for 11 years, and has been featured on the cover of the New York Post, and on TruTV, AMC, and SiriusXM radio. She also has a weekly radio show on Journey Into the Light. Follow her on Instagram and discover more about her energy healing here.

COSMIC TIME TRAVEL: NO MORE KARMA DRAMA?

How do our past lives impact us today? Emma Whitehair embarks on some cosmic time travel…

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“Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb, we are bound to others. Past and present. And by each crime and every kindness, we birth our future.”

This quote from Cloud Atlas gives me goosebumps all over, and has me questioning the millennial take on carpe diem—‘YOLO’. What if we don’t ‘Only Live Once,’ as many mystical traditions believe, and in fact experience many, many lives.

We all have our soul tribe. Those folk who instantly seem familiar, as if we’ve met before. Or those ‘right person, wrong lifetime’ relationships, where you have an undeniable soulful connection, yet it feels like you’re just not meant to be. This time round anyway.

I’ve also come to believe we attract challenges into our life that we choose before we are born. But what if we can ace our pre-birth plan? Make amends, complete unfinished business or heal ancestral wounds/limiting beliefs, without the need for a karmic car-crash to get our attention.

Although pain can be a great teacher, if you are already half-way though your soul syllabus, perhaps suffering is not necessary in order to evolve. And once our lessons are learnt, we can transcend these karmic loops, to a more advanced level, like a cosmic computer game.

So with the intention of going beyond karmic dramas, to better understand this journey, I did some spiritual time travel. And here’s some of what I unearthed along the way…

:: RE-VISIT PAST LIVES ::

The feelings the soul may have departed a former life with, can show up in the present. But you hold onto your history at the expense of your destiny. Reliving and then releasing them however, can be game changing. Scott Murden is a Past Life Regression therapist whose clients often have seemingly unexplained fears, aversions and/or traits, which he believes to be linked to samskaras—imprints on our soul, from past lives.

In our session, I was transported to the Frontier, where I was a Native American Indian…with a white man cattle herder as my forbidden lover. As you might imagine, my wild west romance didn’t have a happy ending. Our plan to elope with a stolen herd, was foiled and I was the one captured, then hung. This grim death perhaps explaining the throat chakra restriction I wrote of here.

Scott invited me to connect with the positive emotions from this past life—love against all odds, passion and adventure. I also felt the urge to say goodbye to my cow-boyfriend, and to tell him that we would meet again, in another life. And with this, I felt my heart open.

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:: THE PAST & FUTURE AS WRITTEN IN THE STARS ::

I first encountered Astrological Counselling on The Arrigo Programme where I learnt that a snapshot of the universe at the exact moment and from the precise location we are born, creates a blueprint for our life story. We choose to be born when our karma is energetically matched with the stars, which provides our roadmap with its unique patterns and Jungian archetypal themes. And what I find most exciting about this idea, is that it reminds me that we are microscopic pieces of a incomprehensibly vast and interconnected reality—the Universe.

In my first reading I was shown that I’m an old soul learning advanced lessons. And my North Node (which identifies what one’s soul purpose in this lifetime) is in the fourth house —which is all about security and emotional stability. Sudden loss in previous lives also seemed to be triggering some fears.

Recently I was introduced to Sting’s personal astrological counsellor—Debra Silverman, who has a unique and fun approach combining soul-centered astrology with psychology. While on our call, Debra first asked what had happened in my life over years showing up as key “destiny lines”. She also saw that one of my soul missions in this life is to clear karma from my mother’s lineage. Apparently, the unhealthy feminine energy I had around me in childhood with, is now being healed with my new-found spirituality and joy. My story is being re-written. Hallelujah!

:: SEEING INTO THE FUTURE ::

My natal chart shows that I’m coming into a period of great transformation, and although this is predestined, there are many routes to the same destination. We’ve all seen Sliding Doors, right? So, I wanted to know if there was any advice or red flags I should be aware of in order to reach my full potential within this fresh cycle.

Teresa Symes fuses the psychic with the psyche and was once voted Britain’s #1 intuitive by ELLE magazine. As she reads for Jennifer Aniston, Kate Hudson and Kate Winslet, and is also near impossible to reach. When I finally persuaded her I wasn’t a tabloid hack, Teresa gave me a reading over the phone. Beginning by clarifying that the future is 70% free will, 30% destiny, she explained how people and situations are brought into our lives to get us on track, as long as we recognize and work with them.

To boost manifestation, Teresa also sent me this ‘Charming Positivity’ Rune Stone bracelet from her collaboration with Michelle Theodorou. Reaching into the velvet pouch is a process of divination, and a booklet with all the ancient meanings means I can get a window into my future while wearing the Runes that chose me for that week.

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:: THE UNIVERSAL FILES ON ALL YOUR LIVES ::

If we were all in a state of amnesia, having lived many previous lives that we don’t remember, how are some able to recall the past, or see into the future? The answer lies in The Akashic Records. An energetic resource library for each and every soul’s human existence, throughout time.

The theory goes that since long before recording devices were invented, our spirit guides have been indexing every multidimensional detail over potentially thousands of years, ready for us to access, without the help of an expert or having any psychic abilities. Becoming empowered to read your files is just a matter of raising one’s vibration, having a pure intention and being open. It’s also worth noting that you may get a clearer answer with open-ended questions that get to the heart of the matter, rather than those that just require a yes/no response or idle curiosity.

Drawn to her scientific approach to this mystical subject, I spoke to Akashic Records Consultant Jen Eramith who explained that all past and future life information come from the same source, whether in the form of regression work, psychic readings or even dreams. This means there are no rules and many routes to accessing this universal library of information.

With permission (this part is important), Jen has learnt how to file through someone else’s records, to feel for information relating to specific questions. “I know I have opened a person’s Akashic Records when even though I have never met and know nothing about them, it feels like I’m falling in love. And the more each of us has a sense of Love, the more easily we access Akashic information through everyday intuition,” she told me.

Although you can gain great insight from a reading with someone like Jen, the beauty of these records is that you can access them yourself. There are thousands of guided meditations online, but from the few I listened to, they mostly seem to suggest a temple and white-robed librarian. I prefer to imagine that the records are filed digitally, like cloud storage.

A movie I’m obsessed with, Interstellar, sums up what the Akashic Records boil down to—quantum physics and love. Two incredibly complex, destiny-steering forces. Watch this clip to see what I mean, and although our intention may not be to save the world, messages can still travel through time, when we illuminate the Love within.