Power

HOLY F*CK: HOW TO FIND YOUR EDGE

Posted on by Alexandra Roxo

Only in the places of discomfort can we experience true healing, says Alexandra Roxo. PLUS 5 ways to find your edge…

HOW TO FIND YOUR EDGE The Numinous alexandra roxo Holy F*ck
Goddess power earrings by Marcia Vidal. Non toxic lipstick by Ilia Beauty.

“There must be something deeply disturbed about a person who wants to be flogged or spit on.” As my friend said this I nearly spit out my kombucha. It was a sunny day and we were sitting on a blanket in the Bay area, having some girl talk, munching on goji berries, having just completed two nights of plant medicine ceremony together.

I started to feel sweaty and hot which means my deep soul was having a freakout. I put my cup down, took a deep breath summoning massive courage and said: “I disagree. It can also be about a person wanting to push their edges. It can be a game, power play, fun, and a vehicle for catharsis. Something beyond the human polarities of ‘right’ and ‘wrong.’ Just as enlightening as any other medicine that pushes you to your edge and into a place of expansion.”

Let’s be real, in a lot of spiritual circles we tend towards the light and white, the higher chakras, high vibes…And well, usually as far away as possible from the dark, scary underbelly of things. Be it talking about BDSM or deep wounds, many of us shy away. After all, IG posts that are dark/revealing and heavy, usually get a lot less likes than the ones that are bright and all “I’m floating up here with my Spirit team!”

Well I say…Fuck. That. In the past few years I’ve found the scary bits—the “nevers,” the edges, the parts that make my heart beat fast—to be possibly my biggest teachers. Lately I’ve been wanting to talk about them more and more among circles of women whose faces might go white as an angel’s wing if I said something about squirting being transcendental. But ladies, the time has come! (And yes squirting, and even fisting, can be transcendental. But more on that another time. Or just DM me, lol.)

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You know those friends who push you to your edge? Usher you out of your cozy wozy comfort zone full of sheepskin rugs and Palo Santo, into a scary dark place you cannot control and force you to pull down your “Everything’s okay!” mask? I LOVE those friends. In the moment, I hate them for “making” me hitchhike with a creepy Mexican man on a beach in Oaxaca into the jungle.

Or for saying: “I saved you a spot on the three-day plant medicine retreat where we’ll be fasting and sleeping under the stars. Bring a poop bucket!” Or for calling me out on my shit. HATE THAT. But I really LOVE it. Thank Goddess for the friends that help you to your edge.

I recently signed up for an online course called a “Relationship Detox” with Perri Gorman. On Perri’s intake form you get to say to what level you want to be pushed. I checked off “HOT ORANGE” or something. Basically as hot as possible. (#overachiever!) So in class the other day, when I had to say what conclusions I had come to after making a relationship chronology, and I started rambling, “Well, we were dating and he said some really mean things but you see I’ve been meditating and doing a lot of WORK on this for months. Many healers. I really feel great about it now!” She stopped me mid-sentence.

“No you don’t. Pull off your mask, get in your pussy and tell me the story again!” I was taken aback but I knew immediately what she meant. I breathed through my mask, told the story again, deeply rooted into my truth, shared all the embarrassing parts, tears running down my cheeks, feeling such a huge catharsis: the feeling of being grounded deeply into my body. And then Perri told me: “Ultimate kindness is to risk saying something the ego may detest but that the soul is craving.” Which a wonderful teacher like that can make happen.

So forget smiling pleasantly with a namaste! Let’s get messy together. Hold space for each other to WAIL. Ask real questions to women who have birthed many babies. Talk about fucking. Sob until snot is running into our mouths. Have multiple orgasms that make us scream uncontrollably and then weep in a puddle of our own fluid. Not be afraid to pull down our masks.

"Thank Goddess for friends who call you out on your shit!"
“Thank Goddess for friends who call you out on your shit!”

Be it a paddling to the ass, or a projectile purge into a bucket in a room full of people or simply allowing yourself to feel anger, it’s only at the edge that we’ll find the collective catharsis we are looking for—a massive reconnection into the present of our bodies. And especially into our pussies. Into the force which creates life. Pushing us past our edges into a new land, the land of growth.

I try to push an edge every day. Last week I drove for an hour while still on mushrooms. A few days ago I admitted to a room full of people choking through sobs my deepest darkest shadows in love and relationships. I kissed a snake on the lips a few weeks ago. Just finished 40 days of chanting to Kali. Who knows what tomorrow will bring!

:: 5 WAYS TO FIND YOUR EDGE ::

1. Make a list of all the things that make you uncomfortable, or that you said you would never do or say or be or admit. This could be getting naked in front of someone. Crying in front of someone. Admitting to yourself your heart is closed off and you need help. Going on a vision quest. Camping alone. Now get to know that list. Put it on your altar. Start to allow it into your consciousness.

2. Break it into steps. Maybe it’s opening a Tinder account and asking someone out. Or spending time alone. Maybe it’s working out in a sports bra instead of a t-shirt. Signing up for a primal screaming course. A tantric sexual healer. Not exercising for a few days. Everyone’s edge is different! Start small and BREATHE through it. If it’s not making your heart beat fast, then it’s not an edge.

3. Ask for help. I could not have done this alone. Find a friend who helps you find your edge. Or a coach. A teacher. A witness. Someone to keep you accountable and help you and hold you when you cry.

4. When it starts getting tough do not abandon ship! There is a point in the work where we wanna say “Okay cool! I think I’ve got this and I’m gonna take a break.” Don’t do it! Push yourself just a little more. When you make it over that hump it is going to be glorious I tell you!!!

5. When in doubt go back to your pussy and breathe into your roots. Dance alone naked. Shake it off. Keep going. Cry through it. Do not give up. Umm, yeah, Earth hasn’t given up on us though we’ve pillaged her. Our bodies keep going after disease and childbirth and self-hatred and eating disorders. We owe it to ourselves and to the grandma’s that came before us to not give up and get too comfortable.

And P.S. Remember your edge is your own. Do not compare to the friend who did ayahuasca 366 times in Peru. Do not worry about your friend who saw Jesus when she was cumming. Your journey is about YOU. And in your dark personal corners, you could find something so magnificent…you really have NO idea!

If you wanna go deep and investigate your patterns with love, sex and relationships, join us for The Numinous: Re-write your Love Story Retreat July 15-17th in upstate New York! We’re offering an early bird special while Venus is in Gemini of $50 off EACH if you bring a friend (#healinghangdate time!)

SHADOW EMOTION: HOW TO WORK WITH ANGER

Posted on by Erin Telford

Mars retrograde stirring up any suppressed…rage (um, Lemonaid)? You can use your anger as a powerful tool for transformation, says Erin Telford…

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Anger is my favorite shadow emotion. It’s powerful, it gets things done and it is excellent at creating boundaries and change.

But anger is also one of the most misunderstood and underutilized emotions. As women, we are socialized in both overt and covert ways to be nice, not make a fuss and not rock the boat. When we are taught by our loved-ones and by our culture to bite our tongue in service of keeping the peace, we can get very disconnected from trusting our feelings and from feeling safe to work with this emotion when it flares up.

The thing is, most of us have never seen a healthy expression of anger. We associate it with road rage, throwing things at people, screaming, crying, cursing, fear, abuse, physical threats, danger, and out of control people. These are all examples of unhealthy anger. It’s not an emotion we appreciate so we try our very best to suppress it out of existence.

But it’s actually unexpressed or suppressed anger can get ugly. And beyond the stigma, all anger is, is a catalyst for change and an opportunity for some honest communication. Anger can actually work for you if you work with it.

Anger in its purest form simply says: “I don’t like this. Something needs to be different about this situation.” It’s a call to action! You don’t like it? Okay, change it!

One of the best examples of healthy anger is peaceful protest. This is anger put to work—a group of people turning their collective anger into action to create change. We are seeing this right now in politics, the environment, and human rights. It is impossible for anyone with a beating heart to turn a blind eye to what is going on in our world. We are riled up, expressing our opinions and getting involved!

We can all do this in our personal lives as well. Anger is a very powerful force and if wielded with grace and finesse, it can move mountains. Where we get into trouble with anger is when we push it down, causing it to build.

Anger is connected with the season of spring. This is because it speaks to the catalytic energy surge required to turn a seed into a plant, to push it’s little head above the soil and reach for the sun! Spring, our liver, and by association the energy of anger, are connected with upward and outward growth.

So what happens if your growth is inhibited? What happens when someone tells you “no”? A ridiculous new policy is created at work? What if you are simply just trying to walk down the street and everyone is in your way? You didn’t get the apartment or the job or the acceptance letter, a flight is delayed, a class isn’t offered, you didn’t get the promotion?

These are ways that an obstacle interrupts the smooth flow of our life. We don’t like obstacles. We don’t like no. We don’t like interruptions to our plans.

And so our natural reaction can be anger. Which is totally fine. We are upset.

But to deny this is to block our access our personal power. When we feel guilty about what we feel or label ourselves as being “negative” when we feel angry, we miss out on an opportunity to out-create our circumstances.

Rather, if we can sit with our anger, can look at where it’s coming from and why we feel it, we can polish it into a nugget of transformational gold. If we have been hurt or upset by another person, rather than lashing out, we can advocate for ourselves and clearly state our needs to that person. If someone continually disrespects or hurts us, you may need to use that anger to create a change in the terms of that relationship!

You may have heard that anger turned inward results in depression—an oversimplified expression, since depression has many roots and takes many forms—but there is some weight to it.

When we repress our anger toward a partner, friend, loved one or co-worker by not sharing our truth, we are betraying ourselves. We are inadvertently communicating to ourselves that our feelings don’t matter and we are not worth standing up for. Self-betrayal is the most painful betrayal of all and can decrease self-esteem and confidence—leading to depression.

So we stay snippy and unexpressed and we self-medicate even more or our tense up even more, or our digestion suffers. It doesn’t have to be this way. Use your anger as a call to action to change your circumstances.

Breathe it out. Dance it out. Run it out. Write it out. Scream it out (not at someone else!) Sing it out. Create it out. Talk it out. Paint it out. Boot camp it out. Express it out.

You have to feel it to heal it. You have to let it out to transform it. Just don’t be afraid of anger.

The more you know your triggers and can feel when it’s rising in you, the more gently and safely you can manage this emotion. Anger is so powerful and properly harnessed it can do so much for you. Think of anger as your inner Mama Bear, your inner Kali, and your inner badass.

And let it be fuel to create powerful change and transform your life.

HOLY F*CK: UNLOCKING THAT P-CHI

Posted on by Alexandra Roxo

Yes, P as in pussy! In her latest Holy F*ck column, Alexandra Roxo explores ways to get things moving and grooving down there…

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“Why you wear such tight clothes? Chi no flow down there!” The words of my five feet tall Chinese acupuncturist, Alice Yan, from Mott Street still haunt me every time I suck myself into a skinny jean or put on a pencil skirt.

I’ve been trying to keep that lower chi flowing for years and it’s recently come to my attention that I’m not the only one with some blocked P-Chi. By P, I mean Pussy, yes. Call it Shakti, sekhem, prana… Whatever it is. It’s the vibes seated deep in your pelvis waiting to be tapped into and, culturally, even globally, we all know p-chi is repressed/suppressed/depressed…All of it.

Instead of going to the bigger stuff – patriarchy, women being squashed out of all religions, femicide etc…- I say let’s start the healing  on a micro-level, in our own lives, and mostly in our own panties.

A few years ago I found myself in a relationship, deeply in love, but with zero sex drive. Basically, my lower chakras were asleep. I looked for help. And it came via Paz de la Huerta, a goddess with free flowing P-Chi. So, I felt good about turning to Grace Kim, an amazing coach, for help.

It was a case of: “Hi. I can’t feel my lower chakras and – worse – I”VE BECOME OKAY WITH IT.” Her response? “Well this is blocking the flow for work, money, sex, and creativity for you. Manifestation occurs when the lower and higher chakras meet. At the heart.”

She showed me a chakra map for manifestation, sent me to a 5Rhythms class, recommended I wear more red, shake a rattle, and put my feet on the earth. DONE. But, slowly my energy crept back into my head, my mind, my iPhone…That, plus no connection to nature living in Brooklyn, and my lower chakras went on vacay, again.

So, when my acupuncturist straight up yelled at me and told me it was my fault I had bad cramps and irregular periods I got it. And since then I’ve been working on it, determined to stop living from the waist or neck up.

I recently did a snake dancing ceremony with a woman named Londin Angel Winters who has the chi FLOWIN. (You can just see when a woman has that Pussy Shine Light on. It’s a beacon of light in a dark world!) She uses the snakes to help you connect to your Kundalini and subtle energy body, using the metaphor of your pelvis as a cauldron – and, when you drop into that cauldron, you activate, the heat rises, and the heart melts. BOOM.

I danced with this snake named Bojack. And although he was around my neck, I felt it deep in my WOMB. Well, basically all my lady parts…It was like my Kundalini’s inner heater got cranked up to high. I cried and drove home feeling high as a kite! It was a powerful way to get that energy flowing. The next dance led to a deeper activation deep in my pelvis. A sense of ease. Grace. Calm.

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In fact, as soon as I set my intention to unlock my P-Chi in a LIFE way – opposed to just a SEX way – is when it started to unfold. A filmmaker I barely know called me the other night and we chatted for two hours, with her asking: “Do you practice masturbation manifestation?”

I was like “Hot damn! I been practicing “sex with lotsa people” for so many years, but now since I’m on month four of celibacy I’m even re-defining my orgasm!” #Latetotheparty? But yes, I AM practicing masturbation for manifestation no, and it’s working. It’s another way to say hi to your P-Chi and get to know it/work with it/party down with it, and most of all HEAL it.

The other night while engaging in this “practice” I had some amazing business ideas. I called my friend Elyssa the next day to share, and as I told her I looked around and saw three white cars drive past. All with 11 on the license plates. I started screaming. P-CHI ON.

If this all sounds intense, don’t worry. You don’t have to wrap yourself in a reptile or do sex magic to switch on your P-Chi. My new friend Jayne Goldheart, another super activated woman, took me to a Qoya class, which is another way there. It’s a type of dance that def heals some deep feminine energy. I loved it.

And while I found myself twirling my pelvis in the dark it dawned on me: there are WAVES of women up on this cultural pussy healing and reactivation, and as I’ve been sucking my gut in so I can zip my leather pencil skirt, they have been fighting the good fight to keep women in their pleasure power pelvic center! Thank. Goddess.

The journey of healing and harnessing your P-Chi can be lifelong. It can be scary at times.  Unlocking Shakti and Kundalini can also bring major waves of change in your life, but it’s so worth it. An awakened woman also scares some people off, but the ones who are meant to stick around and dance with you will.

The path of the open pelvis is a long and winding road, and as you consider whether to embark on the journey yourself, remember this: it’s also the direct route to unlocking your Goddess Energy, abundance, and intuition. And to the thousands of women helping remind us to get back to this power: I salute you all.

5 Easy to Get Your P-Chi Flowing

  1. Start wearing more dresses and stop wearing underwear. I’m not saying wear a short tight dress panty free on the 6 train in NY in rush hour. Yuck. I’m thinking Saturday to brunch, a long Mara Hoffman look, a gentle breeze…Also, cross your legs less. That stops the flow!
  2. Call in sick the first day of your cycle and start to make your own ritual around your period. And if your period is in a state of dysfunction (which mine was for years) spend some time on it, cause that’s a P-Chi block you’re dealin’ with. Read Alissa Vitti. Christiane Northrup. Ween yourself off Advil and listen to your cycle.
  3. Move! NOT Soul Cycle – that crunches your P-Chi. I’m talking something that loosens and opens things up. Jamaican dancehall class has been my medicine! What’s yours? I also love Qoya, 5Rhythms, and will be getting into ecstatic as soon as I get some bell bottom yoga pants.
  4. Let your belly hang out. I know this sounds wiiiiiiild right? Lol. It is pretty radical – what if we all took photos on Instagram with our bellies free? #Revolution. But honestly the breath is the biggest tool to warming up your nether regions and once you start releasing your breath into your pelvis you will feel a difference.
  5. Write out your P-Chi story.  Do a ritual around your relationship to your lower chakras, the energy there, when it’s been blocked, when it’s been wounded, what you want from it.  Go as far or close as you want with it.

Alexandra Roxo is an LA based filmmaker and actress who has recently began doing coaching, healing and teaching work. Read more on alexandraroxo.com. Follow her on Insta here and read her past Numinous articles on Now Age love and sex here.

GET TO KNOW YOUR CAPRICORN MOON SIGN

Posted on by Ash Bonelli

The Capricorn moon sign is tougher than most – a balance of tender and tough, says Ash Baker. PLUS 8 lifestyle tips to help you manage your Capricorn moon sign. Artwork: Prince Lauder via Behance.net

Prince Lauder on The Numinous

Fellow sea goats, gather around and learn about your personal take on the Moon. You project an emotional character that is sparkling with strength. Even your aura is made of resilient stuff. Capricorn Moons get a bad rap though because the qualities of this sign are the exact opposite of what the Moon stands for.

This means it’s a tougher Moon than others, but not impossible. I too have this Moon so I’m really speaking from the heart with this article. And it just means we have to work a little more mindfully at achieving the Moon’s needs via our sign’s attributes.

Capricorn stands for power, control, success and ambitious achievement. The Moon, our heart, wants to nurture and support through being soft and gentle. So this Moon’s purpose is to understand how to be vulnerable while still feeling safe. To not be too controlling. To let go of the ice queen/king tendencies. This placement can feel a bit dark side of the Moon. We stay cool and detached so we don’t get hurt. Learning to bridge that gap is key.

Capricorn does have something in common with the Moon though, they both enjoy taking care of needs. What those needs are varies but possessing the ability to help fulfill them is strong. This can be a very realistic Moon in that Capricorns see the logic in emotions. They can come across insensitive due to being so grounded, conservative and stoic.

The Capricorn Moon sign needs independence and to prove that it can do things on it’s own. So working towards the goal of embracing independence while asking for help every once in awhile would be beneficial. Just watch out for being too controlling of others to get what you want. You really take it to heart if you think someone sees you as unable to fulfill certain functions. Therefore you can become too rigid and bossy just to hide the fact that maybe you are not so perfect at everything you set out to achieve.

It’s okay. You are human. Our flaws bond us. Allowing those who love you to take care of you is HUGE. You want to remain in a place where you feel dignified and composed, but also open enough to depend on someone else. This is where true intimacy is born and your Moon can fully blossom. We each have an area of life where we feel the need to get the job done. The Capricorn feels respected, nurtured and fulfilled in doing so.

Below are a few suggestions to work/benefit your Capricorn Moon sign’s higher vibes.

:: Strength ::
Pick an exercise that makes you feel strong. One that gives you a feeling of power over your body yet humbles you at the same time. This sign rules the bone structure so if yoga suits you try this yoga sequence…

High Lunge :: Alanasana
From a standing position step the right leg/foot towards the back of the mat. Come up on the ball of the right foot with an inhale. Exhale and bend the front left knee. Make sure the knee is bent directly over the ankle. Tilt the pelvis slightly under and lengthen up through the spine. Inhale and reach the arms loosely into the air. Reach your upper body towards the ceiling and press the lower body down towards the floor. Come back to standing and switch legs.

Warrior 2 :: Virabhadrasana 2
Come back to Tadasana. Step the right foot back 3-4 feet. Turn your right foot to a slight angle with the toes out and the heel in. The left foot should be pointed forward. Inhale and reach the arms up and out in line with your shoulders like wings. Exhale and begin to bend the front knee directly over the ankle. If you are a beginner, lessen the bend in the knee but never take it further than your ankle. You should see your 1st/2nd toes. Make sure your torso is directly above your pelvis. Reach your arms out wide and feel them lengthening. Press your feet down into the ground gathering energy back into the body. Hold for 30 seconds up to 1 minute. Come back to Tadasana and switch sides.

Reverse Warrior :: Viparita Virabhadrasana
From Warrior 2, drop your back hand down to the back of your back leg or on your hip as you lean backwards from your side and reach your front arm up and over your ear, creating length in your ribs and side waist. Keep the knee bent directly over the ankle. Look up towards your hand as long as you don’t have any neck pain.

:: Time alone ::
You need solitude to plot, plan and stay on top of all the goals you want to achieve. Being such an independent Moon you emotionally benefit more from private time than some other signs do. If this is something that feels difficult to add into your life, really start to make it a priority. Put up some boundaries if need be. This quiet time will really benefit your heart in the long run.

:: Lighten up ::
Now, following the tip on alone time you also need to balance. Be sure to add fun, and silly experiences to your life. This sounds easy to most people, but it’s something you actually have to work at. This Moon sign is serious from birth. We enter the world like little adults. So going out of your way to go out and play is actually quite therapeutic.

:: Life coach ::
Being such a goal-oriented sign is a good thing, but it can get a little too controlling. So why not ask for some help? Hire a life coach to help get things in order so you’re not constantly obsessing over your never ending lists. This actually is a double whammy for you because it allows you to work on asking for help while still achieving goals piece by piece.

:: Bodywork ::
Massage. Reiki. Shiatsu. Any modality that helps ease the rigidity of your body from stress is going to do wonders. We all hold tension in our bodies but due to this sign being so prone to stress, a healing release is necessary. You may be guilty of only feeling comfortable when worrying over a deadline. If this is you, go treat yourself.

Happy healthy climbing Cappy Moons!

09/17/15: HOW TO WORK WITH THE 8888 NUMEROLOGY

Posted on by Felicia Bender

September 17 2015 is a QUADRUPLE 8 day. And 8888 numerology means time to step up and transform, says Felicia Bender.

8888 numerology on The Numinous

 

Are you feeling the burn this year – and particularly this month – in pretty much every area of your life?

Numerologically, everyone on the planet is experiencing an 8 Universal Year.

You calculate it this way:  2015 = 2 + 0 + 1 + 5 = 8

The number 8 is the money and power number. The number 8 is an amplifier. Yet, here’s the rub. The energy of the 8 tests you in the realms of power. And not just some inconsequential quiz – this is like the comprehensive exams for your doctorate. And once you pass the exams, you must write your dissertation. Once you finish your dissertation, you must defend it in front of your committee. Once you defend it in front of your committee (and you pass), only then you get your degree. Ardous? Yes. Worth it? Damn right.

2015 is your year to develop and nurture everything related to money, power, control, and authority. There can be amazing gains, wonderful advancement, powerful achievement, and financial abundance. And there can also be losses, set backs, feelings of victimization, and financial slaps-in-the-face. The 8 is about resilience.

And since you’re a member of the Numinati, and pay attention to Astrology, you’ll also know that there have been – and will be – substantial planetary shifts and events taking place this year.  Eclipses, Blood Moons, Blue Moons – need I go on?

And now here’s a “red letter” day in numerology: September 17, 2015 is a QUADRUPLE “8” day.

·      2015 is an 8 Universal Year (2+0+1+5=8)
·      September 2015 is an 8 Universal Month (9+2+0+1+5 =17; 1+7=8)
·      September 17 is an 8 Date (9+1+7=17: 1+7=8)
·      And 17 is an 8 Day (1+7=8)

What’s more, this particular 8888 numerology shows up between two powerful eclipses!

So how to bring this energy down to earth?

The whole point of this intense time is to bring us back to our roots – to the foundational, authentic you. Your soul is being revealed to you now in all its beautiful truth, and wherever we are not aligned with our soul path this will itself to us as a rather loud wake-up call. And one that can come in all forms – from pain to euphoria (and everything in between).

September 17 is also a “portal” of sorts – an energetic opening where manifestation energy is at an all-time high. Dramatic changes and transformations are happening all around us and within us. The keys to working with the energy of 8888 numerology are:

·      To be open and receptive to rapid transformation.
·      To set your intentions with the utmost clarity around what you want (rather than what you don’t want).
·      To trust your truth and your intuition.
·      To take right action to manifest the next level in your life, whatever that might be to you.
·      To ready yourself to let go of old, old, old thoughts, habits, and programming.

Many people see the number 8 simply as the money number – personally think there’s more to it.  Metaphorically, I see the 8 as a really difficult personal trainer. Think Plutonian vibes. Working with the energy of the 8 in any aspect of your life isn’t easy. It always brings substantial tests – and like a personal trainer, it’ll make you show up even when you’re hung over, and work your ass off until you can barely walk. Yet as you step up, you’ll become strong, disciplined, and ripped.

September 17, 2015 (8888) will bring challenges to those who’ve been in denial or slacking in the “life purpose” department, and a huge breakthrough to those who’ve been doing the work and are prepared to leap into their next magnificent phase. Get ready for the ch-ch-ch-changes…

How will you work with the 8888 numerology this week? Share in the comments below and connect with us on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter!

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