Get this week’s astro symbol for your sign in our Numinous weekly horoscopes by Sandra Sitron …
Sagittarius :: Sagittarius Rising Handfuls of doughnuts. You can find yourself surrounded by sweetness. Or you can imagine that you’re trapped in a surreal ring of doughy binding. It’s your choice. If you want freedom look for the sweetness. Embrace kindness in yourself and others. If you want to feel trapped, you’ll find evidence to support that idea. Don’t let the monkey-mind take over. Slow down your thoughts. Seek out inspiring wisdom that feels supportive and true.
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Capricorn :: Capricorn Rising A thermos filled with hot tea. You have strong reserves. You have the strength that you need. You know how to heal yourself. Your power is showing up in a currency that is less tangible and more emotional. Will you let yourself receive it? Will you let yourself believe in your strength and security, even if you can’t touch it, see it or taste it?
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Aquarius :: Aquarius Rising Riding a skateboard. Steady yourself and stay focused on the concept of balance. You are in motion. There is progress. The trick is to skillfully stay balanced and upright as you move over all kinds of terrain. You can’t control the terrain. Don’t get caught up in politics, bureaucracy, or the status quo. Stay one step ahead by steadily and meditatively moving forward. Whatever situation you find yourself in— focus on possibility and progress.
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Pisces :: Pisces Rising The teacher at the head of the class. It’s time to take a stand and put forward your opinions. This is not always the easiest position for you to take, but you must be vehement about what you believe in. Especially when it comes to your career. Evaluate and consider the path that you’ve taken. As you review, you may find information that helps you align yourself with your true potential. Stand up for yourself! Take up more space.
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Aries :: Aries Rising The wings of an owl. You are wild and wise. Find the gust of wind that will take you higher. But don’t flail about. Be clear and determined. Use your wisdom as you make decisions. Don’t react. Choose wisely. You may take this time to get clear about what you are hunting for. Use all of your senses and get some perspective on the situation. Get the bird’s eye view.
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Taurus :: Taurus Rising A trail through a field loops back around. You’ve been here before. Many of us have a tendency to repeat old patterns. But what’s different now? Something has changed. Challenge yourself to find the things that are different. You can change the patterns. You can react differently. You can heal the past. You can find forgiveness. If you change your expectations, a new pathway will reveal itself.
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Gemini :: Gemini Rising Blowing bubbles. You want to make love expand. But if you fill the bubble up with too much air, it will burst. So tread carefully when it comes to relationships. Speak your clear truth in full integrity. Find someplace to safely release any extra “air,” without burdening your partners and collaborators. What do I mean by extra air? In this case it could be half-formed complaints, ungrounded gossip, or overly verbose explanations— you’ll know it when you see it because it’s the kind of thinking and speaking that actually saps your energy. At this time you are creating structure and alignment around mindset and communication. Meditation could be very helpful.
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Cancer :: Cancer Rising A salamander. Stay grounded. Make adjustments. This is an important opportunity to tend to your routines, health, workflows and organization. Let yourself be adaptable. Any positive changes that you make in your routine will help you feel strengthened. The salamander shares ancient wisdom— live purely and stay connected to the earth. Clear your spaces, organize and manage your time so that you find grounded expansion.
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Leo :: Leo Rising Beach ball. Show off with your most bouncy, effervescent self. What feels like work? Can you make it more fun? What feels like resistance? Can you open it up? Find spaciousness, find lightness, find expansion in the very moment that you are in. If it’s not fun, then what’s the point?
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Virgo :: Virgo Rising Looking into a hole in the ground. Go inward and connect with your interior. Shine the light on yourself. What do you feel? What do you desire? What brings you pleasure? Nurture yourself with attention. Rebuild the structure of self-care that is the foundation of your life. Go inward to ask yourself— how do I know that I am nurtured?
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Libra :: Libra Rising A pear and a daisy. Fruits and flowers prove that there is bounty. Your focus this week is on your mental bounty, aka your mindset of abundance. Train your brain to magnetically attract what you desire. Make a plan for how you will approach your mindset shift. Make a commitment to yourself and stay in integrity.
Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Sandrahere or follow her on Instagram.
Scorpio :: Scorpio Rising A waterslide at an amusement park. It can be so fun! Just stay in motion. Don’t let yourself get stuck. This symbol is simple. If you are brave you will enjoy yourself. If you are fluid, you will enjoy yourself. If you have trust, you will enjoy yourself. Life can be pleasurable and you deserve to experience good things. Let yourself be in the flow.
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Full Moon :: December 3 2017 :: 10:48 am ET :: 11 degrees Gemini
It’s time to run a series of diagnostic tests. Get out the stethoscope and check your heartbeat. Press your tongue down and say “Ahhh.” Be scientific. Be logical. But most importantly, maintain a state of heightened curiosity.
The key is to loosen your mind. Move away from expectation and move toward curiosity. Melt a hardened state of mind and begin to explore new ways of thinking. Just start asking questions …
With the Sun in Sagittarius, we are working to define our truth. What are we shooting for? What is our philosophy? The Moon in Gemini asks us what basics we’ve missed? Is there a basic mindset shift that needs to happen so that we can grasp the higher philosophical concept?
Let go of what you think you know. The Gemini Full Moon challenges us to give up the PhD program (Sun in Sagittarius) and go back to elementary school (Gemini). Regain a fresh and innocent curiosity that allows us to delight in the world around us. Finger-paint and eat paste. Learn the words for colors and admire the shape of a feather. Get to know our neighbors.
Because this is a Full Moon, your “need to know” may get emotional. Notice if your mind is on overdrive. With Gemini’s ruling planet, Mercury, stationing retrograde, and gauzy Neptune adding a dose of confusing magic to the equation—the answers may not be clear right now.
But you can certainly ask the questions. Run your diagnostic tests and let go of the outcomes ….
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Moon square Neptune A moustache. A disguise. The luminaries form a mutable T-square with Neptune as the focal point. Neptune is your dreamy third eye. Neptune is also fake news. Which will this aspect bring you—heightened intuition or foggy confusion?It’s up to you. Beware of things that aren’t as they seem. But also be on the lookout for magic in the mix.
Work with this aspect by taking pressure off of yourself to “know” the answers. Look inward to find your truth. Connect with your spiritual center and you will avoid brain fog. Meditate. Take time out for yourself. Rest and restore. Pay extra attention to messages in your dreams.
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Moon inconjunct Jupiter The last petal on a sunflower. Is it time to eat the seeds? This is an an uncomfortable aspect that can convince you there is no bounty. The truth is that your rewards are hidden, so you’ll need to take an extra step to discover them. Be curious and do your research. Look a little bit closer. At first glance, the sunflower looks wilted. Don’t throw it away. It’s actually time for the harvest.
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The study questions below are to help you get deeper into what the 2017 Gemini Full Moon means for you. Use them as journal prompts. For the most accurate reading, look to which house holds 11 degrees Gemini in your chart and use the question for that house. Do yours for free HERE.
Aries or Full Moon in the 3rd house What do you need to do to invigorate your sense of community?
Taurus or Full Moon in the 2nd house What do you value most about yourself?
Gemini or Full Moon in the 1st house How will taking the lead in a situation make you feel?
Cancer or Full Moon in the 12th house What does your heart want you to know?
Leo or Full Moon in the 11th house What will help you start to believe in your future?
Virgo or Full Moon in the 10th house How can you shine just a little bit brighter in your career?
Libra or Full Moon in the 9th house What is your big mission statement?
Scorpio or Full Moon in the 8th house Forgiveness is a process. What are you ready to begin to forgive?
Sagittarius or Full Moon in the 7th house What are you needing most in a partnership? How can you give that to yourself first?
Capricorn or Full Moon in the 6th house What process or system in your life could be more efficient?
Aquarius or Full Moon in the 5th house What can you do to break free?
Pisces or Full Moon in the 4th house What game does your inner child want to play?
Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Sandra here.
A-gender trendsetter and spiritual mentor Andre J shares how a lifetime of fearless self-expression has been the ultimate self-love practice …
I was raised by a single parent in the Projects of Newark, New Jersey. Our building was a shambles and the hallways had a foul odor, but the interior of my apartment was always spotless. I was a late baby, my mother was in her forties when she had me, so I was truly conceived out of love. However, I’m also an incest survivor, molested repeatedly by my older male cousin for years.
Raised by my mother I had feminine tendencies, and growing up I was called a fag and a sissy. When you live in the Projects, it’s easy to become engulfed by this air of unhappiness. People are always nipping and pulling things apart, because unhappiness only breeds more unhappiness, or hopelessness. But that was not my story.
I didn’t see people the way that they saw me. I only saw them through the eyes of love, because that’s what I received at home, despite the abuse I suffered from my cousin.
It was aged around 10 that I remember catching sight of my reflection in the bathroom mirror, and the words just fell from my mouth, effortlessly: ‘Andre, I love you.’ In that moment that I understood the importance of loving myself.
It was almost like the Universe was saying to me, ‘Baby, you have a choice. Either you will be an evil man, probably a pedophile yourself, a repeat offender. Or you are going to find an inner peace within yourself, and you are going to take this journey, and you are going to live your best life.”
I always had great style, even as a kid. My first job was in corporate America, and I would wear a twill blazer that fit really well, with high-waisted pants and snakeskin shoes. An ascot around my neck. But it was working at Patricia Field, in sales and then as the PR director, that Andre J came about, with the facial hair and the women’s garments.
It’s what the Native Americans call “two spirits,” to identify beings that embody a balance of masculine and feminine. It’s only Western culture that tells us that these things are taboo, that gives us these labels and names.
There was one point in my life where there was no one, in New York City or in the world, who actually looked like me. I had created a whole new idea of beauty. The British stylist Joe McKenna saw me and put me in V magazine. Then I was cast by Bruce Weber for the cover of French Vogue.
But I wasn’t trying to get on the cover of a magazine. Dressing the way I do is truly just about me expressing myself. And what I have found, is that to stick out like a sore thumb no matter where you are, walking down the street, or taking the subway to the airport, takes courage. It takes strength, it takes tenacity, and it really takes self-love.
You don’t really notice how many people are on the street, until all eyes are on you, yelling at you from a taxi cab, coming at you from every angle. ‘The fuck?’ ‘Oh my God.’ ‘Faggot.’ ‘Sissy.’ ‘Your father must hate you.’ ‘You must have disappointed your mother.’
To still walk with dignity, peace, and courage, and kindness—instead of building thick skin, it actually really softened me, because it taught me how to love others. It was because I was so happy and so free, that BS coming from some strangers didn’t matter.
And I began to realize, not only are you not free, you’re a hater, and I feel like I really just need to give you a hug! I saw that the fear was not of me, it was of whatever was going on within themselves. As I learned in the projects, if someone is unhappy, they want you to be unhappy too.
My journey has led to me working with LGBTQ youth, who are not getting acceptance from their families. A lot of them cannot look at themselves in the mirror. When they do, often they will sob, to the point where they have no control. And if there are eight kids in the room, and that one child is crying, we rise and we console this individual, and build a community around them. Because schools are not teaching how to build community.
To see everyone console this young lady or this gentleman who is going through this emotional imbalance, not only is it teaching them how to share their pain in community, but it is also teaching them how to feel empathy for someone else. An understanding of what compassion is.
My work is to have them look in the mirror, and actually acknowledge themselves for the first time as an individual, as an adult, as a person taking responsibility for their own life. To say to them, ‘Too many times we seek love outside of ourselves, and well guess what. If your parent hasn’t told you or if you haven’t heard it from anybody else, today you are going to give love to yourself.”
Most of them are closed, and frigid. The only emotion they have is anger. Anger, anger, anger. And I want these kids to understand that the anger is not going to get you anywhere. The anger is only going to kill you. That you cannot receive anything if you are closed. I want for them to understand that they can feel love.
For me, this work is helping to transmute all the name calling, and the incest from my past. It is dissolving. I have been able to show these kids that I am as loving as I am, BECAUSE I know what it feels like to be hurt. To be ridiculed, and to be truly counted out. To be disregarded, as if you are nothing. And that when you learn how to shift it, it is possible to realize that this has never been about me. This has been about what everybody else is going through.
The message I am passing on to them, is that my job is to focus on my journey. That my job is to focus on my path, and to focus on what my purpose is. And that not only do I need to focus on it, I need to live it. And not only do I need to live it, I need exude it from every crack and crevice of who Andre J is. I choose to give this service back to those that do not know. And I sleep very well at night.
Andre J will be speaking as part of a Numinous panel discussion on “Inner vs. Outer Beauty” at Soho House NY on December 4 2017 (members only, 7pm). Discover more about Andre and his work @andrejworldwide
Happy birthday, sweet Sagittarius! This cycle is all about expression for you, letting your thoughts, words, and heart be deeply known at any given moment. This energy could extend in many different directions for you, ranging from a new love to an expansion in teaching or activist work. No matter where this lands in your life, there will be an audience to receive the words you share, as this card is so much about the healing aspects of emotional exchange. Chance vulnerability, Sagittarius, and let your heart’s truth flow.
The world needs it, your heart needs it. It is a gift for everyone when you open up and let yourself be seen. December is the perfect time to do this on a whole new level. Six of Cups has a bit of an interesting reputation, and is often thought of as a card of nostalgia. We can sometimes swim far into the recesses of our old, happy memories in this card, propelled by the heartbreak of the Five of Cups, unable to be present in the here and now. It makes sense in certain cases, and definitely follows a known emotional pattern. But this is not your truth, Sagittarius. Six of Cups is showing up for you this month as a radical heart opener.
Its invitation to you will be to sustain that openness, that trust, that vulnerability, in spite of your past. In spite of the fact that you’ve been hurt, splintered, broken, and repaired many times. It is showing up for you this month as a beautiful nutritive to the heart, infusing you with the desire to express, to share, and to connect with the world around you, dropping your armor completely. There is something wonderful coming your way this month, loves. Stay open and soft; you won’t regret it.
How can you play more this month, Capricorn? A somewhat silly inquiry for the hardest workers in the Zodiac, I know, and yet the invitation to consider the question is here in a very strong way. December is a potently important month for you. You are sewing many energetic seeds during this cycle, planting many intentions for the year ahead. How are you making room for play in 2018? Does it have a place of importance in your life? Sink into these questions deeply, looking at the patterning of your life, and the value placed on work versus play.
Page of Cups is your archetypal teacher for the month ahead, and it will be wise to bow over to this little one, listening deeply to what it has to whisper to you. This card invites us to value and emphasize imagination, magic, play, joy, and intuitive communion as much as we might value our earthly goals and worldly dreams. It is what the Lost Boys are to Peter in the movie, “Hook”: helping you to remember who you are. You are remembering the “Pan” in you this month, Capricorn, the magical essence at the core of your being. This part of you is precious and pure, and can get pushed aside very easily in daily life.
It is incredibly important to make room for play and receiving this month. It is softening you, helping to redefine your relationship to rigor and work. It is helping to work and nourish a different part of your brain. It is helping to shake some of the seriousness out of you. It is helping to get some light in the cracks. Don’t worry about what you will get from Page of Cups this month. Just make room for it, and you’ll have everything.
Let yourself be cradled by mystery this month, Aquarius. You are moving through The Moon card, a deep medicine in the Tarot, and the best thing to do is to flow with its rhythms. The Moon is a beautiful card, albeit a powerful one for what it asks of us: surrender in the face of what we can’t see. Indeed, this card can feel like deep ocean waves, or like velvety darkness, much like what we find in nature at night. To feel our way in the darkness, we must go slowly, heightening our other senses, letting our inner compass guide our way home. It requires us to keep a clear head and courageous heart as we walk in the darkness, afraid of what might lurk in the shadows.
To see by moonlight requires the perception of the third eye, a deeper vision and direction. This is getting flexed in you this month, loves, inviting you to trust these other senses within you, letting you walk through the world with them guiding your path. The Moon, which is ruled by Pisces, helps us to feel the fear of the unknown, and walk into it with intention and willingness. December will be a powerful month to look at your emotions in a whole new way. When we travel through this card, we must do so on feel and sense alone.
It offers us the opportunity to trust ourselves and our intuition like never before. This is a deep journey of the self for you this month, Aquarius. The psychic treasures of this kind of internal walkabout are amazing, so seek deeply, walk far, and dive into the fullness of the void. There is nothing but light on the other side of the journey, bringing wisdom, awareness, experience, hindsight, and a greater intimacy with yourself to you.
The moment you desire to be free, Pisces, any locked door in your being will swing open. This is the transformative power of Eight of Swords, as well as the magical potential it will be bringing to your whole sign this month. December is a very powerful transit for you, loves, one in which you can genuinely get “unstuck” from any place in your life that feels limited, including that of your own mind.
In this card, we can often feel that we are trapped and caught, usually in a prison of our own making, although it doesn’t always feel that way. That is the trick of this card: we may feel that an external source got us into this, and that we need a external source to get us out of it. Shattering that illusion is part of the liberation of the card. How we got behind those bars is of little consequence. Eight of Swords invites us to see beyond the mind’s projection, to begin to ask deeper questions of our perceptions. Are we trying to smash down a locked door without checking to see if the window is unlocked? Are we asking for help, clarity or awareness in moments when we don’t feel that we can see clearly? Are we pausing to listen to our inner wisdom?
When this card arises, it is a divine whisper in our ear, offering up the phrase: “ it can be easier if you allow it to be.” How easy can you allow your life to be, loves? How deeply are you willing to trust beyond what your mind is projecting to you? If you are ready to look deeper than what you can see, and what you may feel is imprisoning you, you will already be liberated.
Change is at your garden gate, sweet Aries. I highly encourage you to put on some tea, and welcome it in. Whenever we pull The Wheel of Fortune, we can be sure that a big life change is at hand. It may not show up today or tomorrow, but it is most definitely on its way. We don’t ever need to fear this card—Wheel of Fortune truly does not bring negative change. It is ruled by Jupiter, after all. Everything that this card wants to give to us, at the core of its essence, is beautiful.
Our job, as human beings, is to stay the hell out of the way so that Source can do its thing. The key to doing so with this card is to stay present in our lives. When we are firmly fixed in the mundanity of this moment, the wheel of life can turn freely because we are staying out of the future. It is truly that simple—at least when this card shows up. The Wheel of Fortune is a wildly spectacular card, one that holds within it so much mystery, medicine and wisdom, and yet when it shows up in a reading, it can often feel like nothing is happening.
It is made manifest by our willingness to take responsibility for the present moment, which is the crux of this card’s invitation to you this month, Aries. Look around you, loves. Look at all that you have control over, and all you don’t. Don’t worry about where you are going, or where these moments are taking you. If you are honoring this moment, working through everything that is arising — the pretty and the ugly — you will be ready when the Wheel of Fortune fully lands in your life. You are changing, Aries. Welcome it.
Temperance is such an incredible and mysterious card. In some ways, it’s almost tough to break it down for a monthly forecast — it rarely, if ever, unfolds within a month’s time. Ruled by Sagittarius, it represents the sacred rebirth after the Death card, and the end of the second line of the Major Arcana in the Tarot. Temperance is highly powerful, potent, magical and life changing, but again, it is really hard to zero in on in a thirty day period. What I will tell you, sweet Taurus, is that when the presence of Temperance touches a reading, it does so for many months, if not a full year. It is a blessing, a sweet omen, and a signal that you are in some for cellular level shifts.
Know that you might not feel this energy in your everyday life in December, but you can touch into it anytime you like—the more you do so, the better it will be for you. Temperance is a reordering of the body, mind and soul. It is a deep shift of our energetic makeup. Expect to get worked on this month, angelically speaking. Trust it, and let yourself explore whatever arises with curiosity. This card also, like Wheel of Fortune, heralds a massive, massive life change—always big and beautiful. The only way that this change can take place, however, is if we are willing to surrender it to Source.
Temperance shows us that the spectacular and impossible can unfold, if we are inviting in support and help. It is the shift from ego perception to soul possibilities. This doesn’t happen overnight—and it might not even happen in a month — but it does happen with time, persistence and the willingness to try a new way of working with the world around you. Surrender to the magic, and some amazing things will begin to take root in your life.
I’m gonna say this bluntly (and with love), Gemini: watch your tongue this month. It’s not a warning, but a plea for those closest to you, a plea for those who rely on you. Five of Wands is a card that teaches us to have patience with big feelings. Whatever the holidays might bring out in you, be willing to take a breath and pause if tough moments arise. You may not be able to take back what you say in anger or frustration this month, so this is very important.
Mercury, your ruling planet, can be the most epically beautiful energy, gifting you the ability to be quick and ingenious with your words and ideas. It can also imbue you with the sharpest mouth in the Zodiac, which you largely have under control in your day to day. That may get tested this month in the fiery Five of Wands, so be willing to really lean into your practices, and give yourself (and your loved ones) the gift of fearless honesty and compassion in your communication. Rather than yelling, it would be better to take a breath and state that you’d like to yell, but are working on not doing so.
This differentiation is how we can elevate Five of Wands from a contractive energy to one of wisdom. It is also how you can work with the upcoming Mercury Retrograde in a way that brings about grace. Take responsibility for your inner realm, and be willing to communicate about it to the people around you. This is your medicine for the month ahead. Breathe through any big impulses, use your words kindly and thoughtfully, and you will move into the new year with a ton of gratitude and peace.
You are right at home with the energy of The Empress this month, sweet Cancer. The Empress represents the Sacred Mother. Ruled by Venus, this card imbues us with a flush of sensuality, and an invitation to reconnect with nature and our loving, sexual centers. It is definitely a beautiful energy to end a year in, and an equally beautiful one to guide you into a new cycle. The presence of The Empress is heralding a new flow for you, Cancer. It is a true shift to a more receptive way of moving through your life—a way that is second nature to you as a water sign, but perhaps not one that you regularly employ.
This is a rest and review time. It is a time to sleep a little later, to become a little quieter, to make things around you a little more beautiful. Orgasms, beautiful food, and long walks are all highly encouraged for the month ahead. If any feelings of discomfort arise around this level of lushness with your life, that is probably where The Empress is doing the most work for you. The greater the discomfort, the greater the potential for growth and evolution will be. We just need to say yes to the invitation.
Feel into the medicine of The Empress this month, Cancer—potential triggers and all. The Empress, for all her beauty, can bring up a lot of funky stuff. If being receptive makes you feel selfish, that’s where you will do some deep work this month. This work is important, not just for the month ahead, but for your year ahead. As you expand in 2018, there will be a need to become more comfortable with receptivity. Trust that and let it take you deeper.
Sweet Leo, if one were to take a flying, courageous leap off of a cliff, would it be wise to attempt to spin around in midair and try to cling into the edge? The head might be saying yes, but your courageous heart most definitely says no. The intersection of the scared brain and fearless heart is where you will find yourself doing some deep work in December, all energized by the medicine of Starseed, or The Fool.
When we commit to a leap of faith, or a big decision, it is extremely important to watch any areas where we might be tempted to twist ourselves around out of fear or regret. It sends some very mixed messages, energetically speaking, which only creates more fluff and confusion for us as we expand in and on our path. Anytime that we take a leap of faith that is blessed by The Fool, it is larger than the decision itself. It is a commitment to ourselves, to our soul paths, to beginning a new cycle in our lives. It is totally fine to experience doubt and fear—it is when those feelings begin to bleed over into our words and actions that it becomes important to recenter, letting go of the edge of the cliff.
Trust yourself and your choices, sweet ones. Embrace the freefall. The Fool is here to support and gently remind you that you made the right choice, or will make the right choice, if that big leap is forthcoming for you. The reversal speaks to the fear that may be creating some stagnation at the top of the cliff. This is easily clarified by looking deeply at the root of whatever fear we are experiencing, rather than letting it stop us from moving forward. Trust yourself and your choices, you are exactly where you’re meant to be.
You are in The World this month, sweet Virgo, and it is glorious. This has been a year filled with change, new opportunities, and massive life shifts for you, much of which is going to give way to new blessings and expansions in 2018. It may not have felt like it, but in many ways you have gotten much of what you’ve wished for this year, which I encourage you to honor and celebrate. What you didn’t receive is well on it’s way to you, all in good time. Now, you get to ride 2017 out on the amazing wave of this card, ushered into 2018 on a whole new level. You couldn’t align the timing more perfectly.
The World card is the last card of the Major Arcana. It is ruled by Saturn, and represents the joyful and bittersweet end to an intense cycle, usually one of extreme lessons, and very hard work. When we reach The World, it means that we have done everything we said that we would do in that particular karmic phase. It also means that we are ready to move forward into something completely different, new and fresh, all borne from what we learned in the past year. When we receive The World card, whatever we are leaving behind is something we will never, ever revisit again. Ever. We are totally finished learning about whatever we moved through.
This can be both amazing and sad, as we grieve what we are leaving behind, even while we may walk forward with excitement. Take a moment and reflect, sweet Virgo: what old patterns have you had to repeat this past year? Whatever it was, you never have to touch on it again in quite the same way. There are new mountains to climb, and a whole new Fool’s Journey to move through. Bless what is leaving, and take the first step forward.
Speak your truth, loves! You have so much to say, so share it openly, brazenly and freely. The world needs it, whether you are getting that direct feedback or not. King of Swords is a divine communicator, a leader who has a truth to speak that brings a deep transformation and change for everyone that their words touch. It is not always easy to speak the truth that King of Swords holds; it is a deep task, given to those who can deeply see injustice, imbalance or areas that need to be recentered.
Where you deliver these words this month remains to be seen, loves. Just keep an open heart. You might offer them to your clients, or the community that you work or live in; your sacred truth might be directed at your ex or current partner, it might be offered to your children, or it might need to be heard by your parent, or family or origin. No matter what, trust the words that are burning within your heart. December is the time to let them be channeled through the voice and throat, letting them touch everyone who is meant to hear them. Let this be a sign for you. If you’ve had a piece of writing within you, write it.
If you have a podcast, or want to start one, this would be a golden moment. You have the potential to really charge ahead into your new year, more confident and clear than ever before. This card is so powerful, in fact, it ripples out to our casual communication. Watch what you say this month. Let it be truthful and heart centered, even if it’s blunt. The world needs your word now and always, Libra. The timing is exactly right, so bring it forward.
Plant your two feet on the ground beneath you, Scorpio. Trust that you are supported. You are exactly where you are meant to be, and your life is unfolding at exactly the right pace and timing. It’s perfect, and you are doing precisely what you should be doing. The other shoe isn’t going to drop—in fact, there’s never been another shoe. Everything in your life is serving some purpose in this moment, teaching you something powerful, even if it isn’t immediately clear to you. Don’t stress about whether you can sustain your current path, or whether you can trust your current path. Don’t stress about what will be.
Any moment that you place your profoundly powerful focus on the future, you’ve left the present. This moment is all there is; there is truly nothing we can place our trust in more than the here and now. King of Pentacles is very advanced medicine, and it is here to prove and support the above statements for you this month. I’ve always felt that King of Pentacles was, in a strange way, the last card in the deck. It brings a real master’s energy when it shows up in any reading.
For you, Scorpio, it’s bringing two big invitations: 1) to make room for greater abundance in your life going forward, and 2) to trust the path that you are walking at this moment in your life. King of Pentacles knows his dharma. He understands why he incarnated here, and he knows he is inherently worthy. Receiving this card in a reading means that he is working this magic in your life, helping you to understand why you are here, that you are worthy, too. This work is going to carry you into 2018 with so many expansions and gifts—let it in, starting with the present moment.
This month’s cosmic shifts give us the opportunity to pause, prepare for expansion, and rediscover a sweet sense of hope, says Melinda Lee Holm. Set your sights on new horizons with this tarot journey through December 2017 …
The theme for December is HOPE. After the inner work and expansion of November, we open ourselves back up to the world around us. And with a major slow down courtesy of Mercury Retro to kick off the month, we’ll have plenty of psychic space to stop and appreciate beauty, realign with what truly matters, and set our sights on the new hope of longer days to come.
Prepare for expansion with this tarot journey through December 2017 …
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//12/3 Mercury Retrograde: 4 of Pentacles While it may sound crazy, the forced slow down of Mercury Retrograde (until 12/22) is exactly what many of us need this time of year. This cosmic downshift begs us to get crystal clear in our communications, methodical in our actions, and to give ourselves plenty of extra time to get things done.
Get grounded and prepared with the 4 of Pentacles. In the 4 we get our first taste of true, earthy stability and we’re not giving it up easily. Generally, I advise people to be mindful of hanging on too tight to finances when this card comes up, but with Mercury in Retrograde, I say clamp down! Keep your spending in check and stay slow and steady to avoid upsetting the delicate balance of the material world that is earned in the 4 of Pentacles.
Calling in the 4 of Pentacles:
Wear or carry Garnet to help stay grounded in your body, the Earth, and reality
Eat mandarin oranges, symbols of abundance and good fortune
Be like Santa Claus – make a list of daily tasks and check it twice
Budget in cash – bring only as much money with you for the day as you can responsibly spend
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//12/10 Human Rights Day: Knight of Swords Human Rights Day honors the anniversary of the United Nations’ adoption of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights in 1948. This document’s anniversary invites us all to get familiar with the rights our fellow humans are entitled to, and to be empowered to speak out and act when those rights are violated.
The Knight of Swords has the energy and the will to speak up and speak out. Wielding the power of intellectual and communicative Air, the Knight rides boldly into battle to defend his convictions. The red feather of passion streams from his helmet as he charges forward, no longer content to stand on the sidelines, ready to take action for what he believes in.
Calling in the Knight of Swords:
Carry or wear Ruby to inspire passion to speak up for others
Donate to the Global Human Rights fund or any other charitible organization working to defend the rights of those in need of advocacy
Drink peppermint tea to suport internalizing positive change
Go for a run to feel the wind through your hair and the power of your own speed
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//12/13 Geminid Meteor Shower: Page of Cups Our annual show of racing lights, the Geminid Meteor Shower arrives on the 7th and peaks on the 13th. If you grew up wishing on “shooting stars,” this peak night is a beautiful time to reconnect to that childish sense of wonder and open your heart to the beauty, majesty, and magic of the Universe.
The Page of Cups provides just the right brand of unguarded emotional exuberance to help us fully enjoy and embrace the magic all around us. Not burdened by past woundings, regrets, or by any set of rules about how to handle the emotional element of Water, the Page is free to give and receive freely, unabashedly appreciating and loving the world around him.
Calling in the Page of Cups:
Gaze up in wonder at the beauty and magic of the Geminids in the night sky!
Wear lace or fanciful patterns – clothing that expresses the romantic within
Express your love openly – let your friends know how you feel
Add a little brown sugar to your coffee or hot cereal to sweeten your outlook on the world
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//12/21 Winter Solstice: The Star As we reach the longest night of the year, it’s time to celebrate the coming light, to look forward with bright hope to the new year ahead, and to begin to set intentions for what we will grow come planting time.
A card traditionally associated with hope, the 8-pointed star seen on most versions of The Star was originally known as the star of The Goddess. As an ancient symbol of Divine Feminine Power, this calming and peaceful card is a reminder that The Goddess is always with us and within us, lighting the way.
Calling in The Star:
Ingest or wear lavender for a calm, peaceful feeling, and to shield hope from negativity
Read Wonder Woman or Captain Marvel comics for inspiration – both superheros wear the 8-pointed star as their emblem
Treat yourself like the manifestation of the Divine Feminine you are with a trip to the spa or a home treatment
Make a list of all your hopes for the next 6 months so you can stay focused on actualizing them as the days grow longer
Want more tarot magic? Book a session with Melinda here, and make sure to follow her on Instagram and Facebook.
In a climate of deeply wounded masculinity, Nina Endrst was dismayed to discover she was having a boy. But she soon realized this was a calling to declare her credo for raising a conscious man …
I consider myself pretty intuitive. It’s been my work, especially in recent years, to release doubt and follow my heart in whatever direction I’m led.
Shortly after I became pregnant, I felt I “knew” I was going to have a little girl. I felt it in my bones. Saw visions of her during deep meditation and healing sessions. We were going to raise a little feminist.
Wrong. Well, sort of. My 22-week ultrasound revealed that I was in fact having a boy. A BOY?! Of course my only hope is and was to have a healthy baby—but I’ll admit I was knocked off my intuitive pedestal in that moment.
When we got in the car, I looked at my husband and said, “UGH! He is going to watch porn?!” I was totally freaked out for a good few minutes, going over all the things he definitely couldn’t do or be.
How the hell am I going to raise a man? Despite having strong relationships with good men, something about being responsible for ensuring that mine wouldn’t grow up to be a chauvinist asshole was daunting. It is impossible for me not to be enraged daily by the toxic masculinity that exists in our society, and around the world.
As I pondered what it would meant to raise a conscious man, I asked myself, where do I begin?
Then, I remembered a dream I’d had about an old boss (privileged, white, good looking by most people’s standards, probably rarely hears or understands the word “no”). This dream triggered a real memory of the sexual harassment I experienced while I was an employee and had “forgotten” about.
Because I, like most women, experience sexual harassment ALL the time. Many of us have also been victims of assault (I was age 9, and wrote about it here). The recent #Metoo shed some light on the epidemic, but this is not and cannot be perceived as “normal.”
So how do we heal such a deep and devastating wound? The conversation feels bigger than I can possibly wrap my head and heart around. And it raises serious doubts about how I will raise a conscious, sensitive, compassionate, FEMINIST man today.
Below is my individual process to tending to this wound daily—for myself, my son, and the whole. It’s where I am beginning my commitment to raise a conscious man …
1// I commit to regularly sharing with the men in my life how I am and have been mistreated as a woman. Practice: I will not assume that everyone is awake, watching, and listening. This does not mean I will excuse sexist behavior or abuse—this means I will educate men around me through my personal experience. I will share how it made me feel when I was cat-called earlier that day, when I do feel safe, and discuss the long-lasting emotional and energetic damage that I and most women have to continually work to undo.
2// I commit to teaching my son that women are not things to be “had.” We are human beings to be respected. Practice: I will surround him with strong females, both in real life as well as through literature and media. From the time he is born, I will introduce him to men that speak to and about women with love and respect, and will continue to work with my husband to show him what a healthy and equal partnership looks like.
3// I commit to helping my son understand that silence is unacceptable. Practice: I will speak up in his presence and explain to him that with privilege comes responsibility. That we are put on this earth to protect each other and it is not OK to sit quietly on the sidelines if and when we witness injustice or abuse.
4// I commit to speaking honestly to my son about dangerous and unhealthy body standards placed on women. Practice: I’ll raise him to look for intelligence, kindness, and humor in women, and people in general, before beauty. I will show him that beauty exists in many forms and do my best to limit his exposure to messaging that is damaging to women.
5// I commit to teaching my son how to show emotion—that sensitivity and compassion are part of what make him “a man.” Practice: I will ask him how he feels and listen to him with an open heart. I will allow him to express himself and his emotions fully and praise him for it.
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My son will be born in a few weeks. I feel mostly at peace and a little clueless and naive. I do not know how our lives will unfold from here, and am very aware that much of it is out of my control. But I do know that I will try every day to be the strongest, softest, version of myself, both for my son, and for our collective healing of the wounded masculine as it unfolds.
Nina lives her yoga and is inspired by traveling to places outside her comfort zone, both physically and emotionally. Currently based in Hudson, NY, she leads retreats around the world and welcomes students of all levels. Connect with her at ninaendrstyoga.com and on Instagram.
Feeling bloated from pie and difficult holiday season emotions? Resident fitness witch Russ Marshalek shows you how to burn calories AND bad feelings by making your workout a forgiveness practice …
For most of us living in post-Woke America, the “saveable” facet of the holiday season is the food—and idea of togetherness at any cost, through gritted teeth, regardless of how racist Grandpa is.
And what you “indulged in,” this can also be a time to practice the art of forgiveness.
“Why should I let that asshole off the hook by forgiving and forgetting?” you might ask (especially if you’re a witch with a penchant for revenge).
Well, true forgiveness isn’t the same thing as forgetting or shitty faux-happiness. Instead, it’s the act of acknowledging what’s happened, and actively choosing to allow past grievances to be fuel for your personal power.
You’ll be surprised at how damn good it feels—so good, you may even be able to deal with good ol’ racist Grandpa without biting your own hand off.
Turning bullshit into power: that’s magic.
But it also takes practice and rock solid awareness. Try these 5 fitness practices to summon the core strength and mental fortitude you need …
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1// Walk it Off When you can’t stomach any more negativity and are ready let go and let Goddess, take a walk and hug a tree. Seriously.
As witches, the healing power of nature is a truth we hold to be self-evident, but I feel like it bears repeating til the cows come home.
Feel your negative energy leaving you and imagine the tree breathing a deep green or white energy into you in its place. If you want to add more to this—a run, sprint, etc, or incorporate this into an existing outdoor workout—feel free. But the important and non-negotiable part is to hug a tree. Definitely do a quick but sincere offering to the local spirits as a thank you after.
2// Sit with Forgiveness, aka “Let’s take a time out” Ok, so Grandpa/Uncle/whathaveyou was offensive, admitted to voting for Trump, and basically stands in total opposition to you, your beliefs, and your existence.
The best way to let that shit go? The incredibly challenging practice known as active meditation. This guided meditation from The Mindfulness Movement is an excellent starting point until you’re able to guide yourself.
3// Breathe Into Self-Forgiveness “Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck,” you say to yourself, “I can not fucking believe I did that.” Whatever THAT is, I can assure you that you are dwelling on it way more than anyone else. And even if that’s not the case: so what?
Use this planking exercise to embody the sensation of “letting go,” get over it/yourself, and be grateful for the experiences that have brought you here, even the sucky ones.
While holding a plank, suck your stomach all the way in and tighten your stomach muscles. Breathe normally, ideally through your nose. Hold this position for one minute, and then relax your stomach slowly as your lower down to the ground from plank position. Try raising the length of the exercise by 30 seconds every week to keep pushing yourself.
4// Knock This One Out Feeling overwhelmed by all of the internalized crap you’ve been bottling up?
Try this drill for starters. Imagine the air in front of you filled with the charged emotions that have made you feel bad, kept you from moving forward, and locked your heart in a dark place. Then punch it out, imagining the air in front of you purifying into a bright white light.
5// Reps for Retribution Ok, I’d feel remiss if I didn’t include a post-Thanksgiving “Bye, Pie” type workout in here, so this is that one. Sure, you can meditate on the meaning of self-love or whatever, but mainly this is here to make you sweat.
Get this week’s astro symbol for your sign in our Numinous weekly horoscopes by Sandra Sitron, a.k.a. Strong Eye Astrology …
Sagittarius :: Sagittarius Rising Frog on a lily pad. The frog looks down into the clear pond and studies its reflection. What can you see in the mirror? What if every situation in your life is just a mirror, showing what you truly believe? Study your current situation as if it is a mirror of your beliefs. The frog signifies transformation, so you can allow this process to help you transform.
Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Sandrahere or follow her on Instagram.
Capricorn :: Capricorn Rising Horse hooves clomping along a dirt path. Get into a rhythm. Don’t think too far ahead or linger on the past. Stay in motion. Let yourself be carried along and stay present in the moment. Take heart. All is well. You have a chance to fine-tune the systems and make things more efficient, so do that in every life area. Stay in motion and be present.
Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Sandrahere or follow her on Instagram.
Aquarius :: Aquarius Rising A spider weaving a web in a dewy meadow. The spider symbolizes creativity. She is always weaving. What are you weaving out of this time that you have? You can be creative without being run by your ego. Seek out self-expression and fun. The spider weaves in the morning. Be creative and make a fresh start. You can do both of these things effortlessly. Every morning is a new beginning.
Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Sandrahere or follow her on Instagram.
Pisces :: Pisces Rising Swimming the breaststroke. Open your heart and let your emotions flow. You are making a lot of progress by feeling your feelings. Share your love, share your attention. But know your boundaries. Teach people how to treat you. This gets easier with practice.
Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Sandrahere or follow her on Instagram.
Aries :: Aries Rising Swinging your head to look in another direction. A pivot. You may be open to some new information. Look for a fresh perspective. Allow your curiosity to lead. This is an energetic symbol, so don’t be afraid to move quickly and to exercise your strength. In fact physical activity will help you focus your mind. Be strong, determined and look for new insight.
Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Sandrahere or follow her on Instagram.
Taurus :: Taurus Rising An elephant’s trunk. The elephant is massive and strong. Understand that you are strong. You have the ability to protect yourself. But you don’t need to be aggressive. You can just be yourself. Trust in yourself. Know your worth. Use your trunk to nourish yourself and feel connected to others.
Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Sandrahere or follow her on Instagram.
Gemini :: Gemini Rising A wild rose bush. Beautiful, yet hardy. You’ve got what it takes to show up in a big way right now. Find confidence. Trust that you can be a leader. Rose blossoms are intertwined among leaves and hidden in thorns. Treasure each unique facet of yourself. Think of the thorns as healthy boundaries that help you be more of your unapologetic and authentic self.
Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Sandrahere or follow her on Instagram.
Cancer :: Cancer Rising An echo. Listen more closely. Listen to your inner truth. Listen to your heart. Write a letter to yourself. Journal. Meditate. Emotions are always coming and going. Listen to your emotions. But also listen to your inner truth. The voice of your inner truth is always loving.
Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Sandrahere or follow her on Instagram.
Leo :: Leo Rising A handful of helium balloons. You can fill your life with fun and celebration. You don’t have to wait for permission. Keep a positive outlook and consider what could be possible. Dream big. Harness a sense of lightness and drift up, up, up. By meditating on your vision for the future, you can create it.
Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Sandrahere or follow her on Instagram.
Virgo :: Virgo Rising Ringing a bell in the bell tower. Announce yourself. This is a chance to share your skills and talents with the world. Make yourself of service and you will excel at work. When it comes to your career, now is the time to make connections and network with others. Don’t be shy.
Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Sandrahere or follow her on Instagram.
Libra :: Libra Rising A flag waving in the wind. Get very clear about your purpose. There will always be an ebb and flow. But when you understand your mission, you will be able to keep your mindset consistent. Write out your mission statement. Understand your “why.” Read it aloud every day.
Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Sandrahere or follow her on Instagram.
Scorpio :: Scorpio Rising A tiny green sprout. Let go, let go, let go. Use your massive strength to help you clear, release, forgive. If you can let your expectations die away, you will be gifted with new growth. Be humble and vulnerable and let go of control. Then wait for the miracle of germination to occur.
Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Sandrahere or follow her on Instagram.
Waxing Quarter Moon :: November 26 2017 :: 12:02pm EST :: 4 degrees Pisces
Get ready for things to feel misty ..
With the Sun in the early degrees of freedom-driven fire sign Sagittarius squaring the Waxing Moon in Pisces, it’s a water-fire mixture that makes steam!
Ruled by Neptune (which is also currently in the sign of Pisces and just stationed direct on November 22nd), the Pisces Moon emphasizes emotional expansion and intuitive capacities. In a luscious trine to good luck Jupiter, this amplifies our spiritual superpowers even more.
With a minimal emphasis on earth and air (Pluto in Capricorn and Mars in Libra are our only major representatives right now), things might feel heavy and wet, rather than light and free.
How to leverage this to your advantage? Read on …
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:: The Sun :: With the Sun in the early degrees of Sagittarius, we may feel called to embrace the spirit of freedom and play. However, given that Mercury, also in Sagittarius, is in his retrograde shadow, and Saturn will be leaving Sagittarius on December 19th, stay cautious and sincere.
The next few weeks will signal massive integration of profound soul truths. You want to be ready to receive (and integrate) them with a sense of ease.
:: The Moon :: With the Moon waxing toward the Gemini Full Moon on December 3rd, it’s essential to use this next week to make progress on goals.
With the Moon so close to Neptune, and Neptune trining Jupiter, manifestation powers are amplified. Stay focused on your intention and connected to your desires. Let your intuition lead you forward; yet, stay prudent, too.
You want to make clear, conscious decisions that you’ll feel right about in the upcoming weeks while Mercury travels retrograde. Come December, the winds of change blow hard.
:: The Square:: With the Sun in Sag and the Moon in Pisces, limits and boundaries may feel blurred.
Boundaryless passion is fantastic for developing your spiritual and intuitive intelligence. Yet with Mercury Retro just around the corner, and a dearth of air and earth in the sky, make sure not to get lost in the mist. Lead from your intuitive prowess.
:: The Message :: This Waxing Quarter Moon screams magic. Yet, it’s not unencumbered magic. It’s essential to not only stay devoted to your dreams, desires, and manifestations, but to do so with a clear sense of grounding.
With Neptune direct trining Jupiter, and the Moon in Pisces, the cosmos is expanding our spiritual capacity. Embrace the steam, but stay mindful of the potential to lose yourself in the fog.
Let your inner sorcerous lead you forward, and trust your intuition, while planting your two feet solidly on the ground.
For more Moon wisdom or to book a coaching session with Jennifer visit Jenniferracioppi.com. And to learn more about how to work with each Moon phase, check out Moon Club, our community of lunar-loving cosmic change makers!
Facing a major life meltdown, Sam Lam was ready to turn herself inside out. Little did she know, her first LSD trip would lead to the experience of ego death …
I’d majored in philosophy in college, studied metaphysics, epistemology, and even endured a stint in theology. But despite the multitude of theoretical expeditions I’ve taken into human consciousness, nothing could have prepared me for the acid trip that led to me experiencing the much-documented “ego death.”
By age 30, I’d burnt out in my career as a Business Development Manager for a multi-national oil and gas company. So I did what any self-respecting women worthy of her prized Louboutins would do: I jacked in that job, packed my (many) bags and boarded a flight to ‘La La Land’ to pursue a career in fashion.
As if this identity crisis wasn’t enough, a couple of months prior I’d discovered that my now ex-husband of almost 10 years was having an affair. Needless to say, I was a total emotional-fucking-wreck. A 30-something divorcée with a fresh “Monroe” lip piercing, I soon found myself trying to heal my shattered heart by reliving my hard-partying youth.
Cut to me raging it up at a major music festival. I’d never taken LSD before that night, but in the sweltering heat of the desert, as the hot, orange sun began to dip, I decided to drop.
I felt very little at first. Twenty, maybe thirty minutes passed and by this point I was eager to rush to the front of the main stage and offer my metallic flash-tattooed body as a sacrifice to the music now engulfing me. I just wanted to dance. Dance all my life’s pain away.
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This was death, I felt certain of it … It’s not really possible to describe what happened next. Before I could even begin to move in the direction of the stage, I took one glance at the illuminated festival Ferris wheel swirling ahead and the acid hit my brain like a bolt of lightning.
In that instant all of my senses merged. I could taste sounds, smell the music, and literally see my feelings.
This was death, I felt certain of it. The world as I knew it disappeared, and while I could no longer feel my body, my mind got busy imagining my demise in vivid, graphic, Technicolor.
Gory, violent, blood curdling. Vicious ends that felt oh too real. At one point I was hit by a steam-train in the middle of the desert. The next I was being eaten alive by rattle snakes. Next, I was a victim to the desert sun as its rays pierced my skin and melted my flesh to the bone. I then tried to write an (imaginary) letter to my family to apologize for giving up and going out in such a shameful way, but I literally couldn’t find the words to express how deeply sorry I was.
Then came a silence. A complete and utter black quiet in my head. It was a peaceful moment where I was truly thinking “nothing” at all (if that’s possible). A temporary respite from that torment that followed.
I could feel the world weep … Nothing can prepare you for “Ego Death”—the term is used in various, intertwined contexts to describe a fundamental transformation in the psyche, where we lose the self entirely. The words “I,” “me,” “myself” lose all meaning whatsoever.
This is what I experienced next, and it altered my life forever.
I could feel the pain of the entire Universe. Immense and immeasurable, agonizing torture. Quite literally, I felt for both a split second and an eternity, the utter, agonizing grief of every single man, woman, child, animal, tree, the oceans, and the skies.
I felt the Universe inside of me and all of its desperate misery. I could feel the world weeping.
A the Universe sobbed, my sense of self had completely and utterly vanished into it. “I” no longer existed. “I” no longer related to anything. It was as if I had become “dark matter,” as theorized in quantum physics—”I” was empty space. Nothing.
I woke up the next morning on the floor of my hotel room, with my festival uniform intact (bikini top, denim shorts, misappropriated tribal feathers). The desert was still in my hair and I had no memory of how I’d gotten home.
As my eyes slowly opened and the speckles of light danced into my retinas, I realized I was still alive. “Samantha” had survived her first (and probably one and only) acid trip. But something fundamental had changed …
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Had I melted my brain? The trip had been so intense, I was left fearing the worst. For months I worried that I had in fact melted my brain. I was no longer draw to “partying” as a way to dance out my demons. What can I say, the world just isn’t the same after you’ve “died.” Nothing seemed to make sense anymore.
Four months after the trip, I was severely depressed and still trying to make sense of my marriage breakdown, my scattered career choices, and this extraordinary experience. One afternoon, I found myself all alone in my apartment.
I was lying on my bed ugly crying, with blood-shot puffy eyes and chapped lips, and the what felt like the weight of my woes making it difficult for me to breath. I was then gripped with an urge to step out onto the balcony of my pokey apartment to get some fresh air. As I stood out on that balcony staring at the cloudless blue expanse of sky, I could have sworn I heard a voice in my head:
“You have felt my pain, now let me take yours,” said what I can only sensibly identify as The Universe.
In that instant I felt a warm calmness encircle me, as if I’d been injected with a large dose of MDMA. Yet this was an instant, drug-free Nirvana. The voice signaled that it was going to take away my suffering and pain, and transform it into something positive, pleasurable, maybe even beautiful.
In that moment, everything in my life just seemed to make total and absolutely succinct sense. I understood that I was designed to contain light and dark energy—to be the embodiment of Yin and Yang. I wanted to kiss my pain. Without it, I wouldn’t have embarked on this journey. I wouldn’t have had the courage to push my body beyond its physical and mental limits. I would have remained spiritually asleep.
The author
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The comedown … My life has since returned to “normal.” But my Ego Death experience has led to notable changes to my outlook.
I’ve drawn relationships into my life that are supportive and calm but also fun. I laugh more. My current partner lets me fully be myself. And I’ve found friendships circles with likeminded creatives and artists who are interested in alchemy and alternative modalities.
After these experiences, it’s been hard to return to the corporate world. Climbing the ladder no longer appeals to me. And though I haven’t quite found my niche, I’m figuring it out. I know somehow I’m supposed to be here in L.A … that something drew me here.
Most importantly, I’m more eco-conscious and aware of how my choices are impacting the future of the planet (after all, I had felt the whole world sobbing). I still love fashion, but I am no longer her slave, and have lost the desire to consume in the way I used to. And while organized religion is still not something I identify with, I’ve become intrigued by esoteric and alternative spiritual modalities.
What learned about a connected global consciousness is well documented elsewhere—an open-minded outlook that’s especially relevant in our current era of regressive, right-wing politicking.
After all, in the words of ethnobotanist and mystic Terence McKenna: “If the words life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness don’t include the right to experiment with your own consciousness, then the ‘Declaration of Independence’ isn’t worth the hemp it was written on.”
I certainly don’t believe that drugs are the only path to experiences such as mine. But surely to muse and ask “why?”—or to protest “WTF?”—is an innate part of the human experience. How else can we pursue the kind of evolutionary advancements I may have accidentally stumbled on during my long, bizarre, and deadly dark night of ego death?
Born and raised in the North East of Scotland to an Irish/Scottish mother and Chinese father and having travelled the world in her previous career, Sam Lam is an L.A based creative who spends her time writing, consulting, styling, modeling and collaborating with brands to produce visual content.
After the intensity of Scorpio, Sagittarius Season 2017 brings an exhilarating dose of freedom seeking, says Bess Matassa. PLUS the perfect tricked out ride for your Jupiter sign … Main photos: Drew Cox
Pack up your rollerboards and break out the cocktail peanuts, star-studded jet setters. Sagittarius season arrives just in time to smoke us out of the Scorpionic trenches and take us bareback riding across the blazing plains.
The zodiac’s oversized My-Little-Pony tricks out her mane with glitter and glow, and races towards the future without one shred of hesitation, trusting that the road will always rise to meet her sun-kissed hooves. This exuberantly expansive equine blows our old color palettes out of the woods as she sends us racing through the kaleidoscopic deserts, tropics, and tundras of our own nomadic hearts.
So roam if you want to, rough riders and philosophical pilots. When you give it up and turn it loose, you’ll see just how boundlessly beautiful you really are. Because the world is wild. The road is wide open. And these two lanes will take you anywhere. Wheels up …
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The keyword: Boundlessness.
The song lyrics: “Just wrap your legs ’round these velvet rims/And strap your hands ‘cross my engines//Oh honey, tramps like us/Baby we were born to run”—Bruce Springsteen, “Born to Run”
Check out Bess’ Sagittarius Season Playlist, complete with road-trip anthems, global beats, and sonic explorations.
Gucci AW17
The color palette: sprawling, swirling shades, and party-ready prints: confetti patterns, saturated taste-the-rainbow hues, and deep jewel tones fit for a nomadic caravan queen.
The style: global elite meets a traveling circus on a South American cruise ship. Feathers, boas, excessive bangles, oversized rocks, and hair extensions mixed with bodycon leotards, harem pants, glam squad sweats, and handheld luggage.
The scents and flavors: richly spiced, smoky sweet, and spiritually inclined: ancho, curries, open-flame BBQ, animalic musks, and sandalwood incense.
The healing: bigger, bolder, faster, wilder. Weekend getaways, round-the-world tickets, circus classes, trampoline workouts, bodypaint parties, and dancing til the break of dawn.
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Sensuous Invitation of the Month:A Tricked Out Ride for Your Jupiter Sign
Ruled by the bacchanalian bombshell of excess Jupiter, Sagittarius Season shows us exactly where we’re ready to expand way beyond “proper” proportions, and roll the dice once again with the infinite faith that life is always on our side.
So step into your sequined mechanic’s jumpsuit and fuel your vehicle for the long, luscious ride ahead. Cause baby, you were born to run.
New to astrology? Discover your Jupiter sign HERE.
Jupiter in Aries Sagittarius Season invites you to take your innocent spark out onto the highway, and explore all of the identities awaiting you. // Your Ride: Harley. Rev your engine and hit the pavement, trusting that you’ll be able to step into any truck-stop role that awaits you.
Jupiter in Taurus Sagittarius Season invites you to carry your security on your back as you celebrate adventurous trust in your own beautiful body. // Your Ride: Pickup truck with a covered cab. Rustic rambling and sensuous sleeps in the back seat.
Jupiter in Gemini. Sagittarius season invites you celebrate communicative expansion and all of the possible pathways. // Your Ride: Taxi Cab. Labyrinthine street smarts across multiple languages and neighborhoods.
Jupiter in Cancer Sagittarius season invites you expand from your emotional core, and let your inner world lead the way towards outer adventures. // Your Ride: Inner Tube. Tucked-in forms of floating downstream that both provide retreat and open water flow.
Jupiter in Leo Sagittarius season invites you to let your pumping heart light the way as you share your heat with the wild world. // Your Ride: Quad roller skates. Strap on your specialness and spread the street-level love.
Jupiter in Virgo Sagittarius season invites to you re-up your faith in integrity and revel in explorations that feed your sense of contribution. // Your Ride: Banana-seat bicycle with a basket. Pack a picnic and hit the pathways at a pace that’s fully your own.
Jupiter in Libra Sagittarius season invites you to believe in the power of pure romance again and again, despite past traumas. // Your Ride: Horse-drawn carriage. Take a slow spin through the park, prom queen style, as you trust in all things that travel two-by-two.
Jupiter in Scorpio Sagittarius season invites you to mine your own depths for the most worthy treasures. // Your Ride: The subway system. Travel beneath the surface of the superficial as you probe the hidden spaces of your own psyche.
Jupiter in Sagittarius Sagittarius season invites you to unsaddle your ride and take to the skies for a panned-out perspective on your personal mission. // Your Ride: Jet Plane. Fly high above the clouds as you stake out your next far-flung adventure.
Jupiter in Capricorn Sagittarius season invites you to expand your commitment to self-sufficiency and let your work in the world feel both necessary and natural. // Your Ride: Limousine. Let your labors be rewarded with pure luxury as you slip through city blocks in badass style.
Jupiter in Aquarius Sagittarius season invites you to challenge the status quo and trail blaze far beyond the known roads. // Your Ride: Delorean. Fuel futuristic forays and eccentric expeditions with this outer-space off-roader.
Jupiter in Pisces Sagittarius season invites you to hold it all, bless it all, and then toss it to the four corners as you celebrate your essence that exists everywhere. // Your Ride: Moon boots. Beam yourself into the stratosphere with sparkling shoes built for bouncing beyond the visible world.
Bess is available for private readings and astro-themed events. Connect with her at Mojaverising.com
Get this week’s astro symbol for your sign in our Numinous weekly horoscopes by Sandra Sitron, a.k.a. Strong Eye Astrology …
Sagittarius :: Sagittarius Rising The pattern on a butterfly’s wing. Observe. You are able to go deeper than you’ve gone before. If you look more closely, you’ll see that you are unique, beautiful and vibrant. You don’t have to fear getting stuck in the old path — the path that didn’t work. You’ve been navigating toward a new and easier path. Observe and notice the intricate beauty that you are experiencing and that you are. Don’t underestimate yourself.
Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Sandrahere or follow her on Instagram.
Capricorn :: Capricorn Rising Velcro on shoes. A new invention is possible. It may be that you can breakthrough into an easier way to do things. Notice your fear. Be really honest with yourself about your fear. There is another way through the fog. Train your mind toward innovation by asking yourself more questions. One of the answers will hold the secret to your next breakthrough.
Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Sandrahere or follow her on Instagram.
Aquarius :: Aquarius Rising The leathery skin on an elephant’s legs. Hold your breath. You are about to step out onto a new stage. Hold your breath because you need to experience anticipation. Anticipation will lead to excitement and nervousness and then you’ll be emotionally involved— which is good. But what is this symbol about elephant’s legs? It means that you are supposed to know your wisdom as you move out onto a new stage. You are supposed to feel grounded and secure in your personal strength. Move forward confidently.
Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Sandrahere or follow her on Instagram.
Pisces :: Pisces Rising A star in a distant universe. You can reach for the stars now. Let go of anything in your experience or your ancestors’ experience that was holding you back for standing in the spotlight. You are allowed to shine. You don’t need to have words for this inner knowing that you are safe to be successful. Just find a way to feel it. Embody your success.
Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Sandrahere or follow her on Instagram.
Aries :: Aries Rising Long pieces of spaghetti. The hardest thing to let go of is hope. And hope can take strange forms. Once you have created it, it will linger in every sign and symbol around you. It can show up in a piece of spaghetti. So create it. Invest it. Be conscientious about what form you want your hope to take. When you are clear that you know what you want your hope to look like, actively embrace it.
Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Sandrahere or follow her on Instagram.
Taurus :: Taurus Rising Kicking a soccer ball on the field. You have some momentum going. Don’t stop. Navigate the turns and maneuvers that you need to make. As you journey, you will have to change course. You will have to continuously revise your plan. You will have to be strategic. Do all of these things from a place of fun and play. You already have what you need. This is all just a game.
Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Sandrahere or follow her on Instagram.
Gemini :: Gemini Rising The churning wheels of a mill in a river. You are ready to move. Find a force greater than yourself to help propel you forward. Feel the high energy that you are capable of. Get excited, hopeful and invested. What would it feel like to be really inspired by a philosophy or a vision? Keep gathering information and look toward the moment when you will feel truly inspired.
Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Sandrahere or follow her on Instagram.
Cancer :: Cancer Rising Finishing a delicious meal. Take a second to regroup and restore. Take care of your vessel— your body. Do regular physical maintenance. Most of all, enjoy the experience of being alive in your body. What if you just focused on this one thing, all week? How would your life feel different?
Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Sandrahere or follow her on Instagram.
Leo :: Leo Rising Flower petals make beautiful colors of dye. Your vibrant nature can leave a mark. By focusing on being your biggest and brightest self, by default you’ll impact the people around you. It can feel good to spread your enthusiasm. There should be nothing forced about this. You are capable of a natural and easy outpouring of joy.
Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Sandrahere or follow her on Instagram.
Virgo :: Virgo Rising A rubik’s cube. Keep turning the cube and playing the game. Everything is a puzzle and nothing is a puzzle. Especially when it comes to family. If there is a puzzle in your life when it comes to your family, just allow yourself to be unsolved. There’s no reason to have all of the answers now. The question is continuously forming in new ways.
Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Sandrahere or follow her on Instagram.
Libra :: Libra Rising Working on your penmanship. Stay in the flow of new ideas, information, reading and writing. Scribble it all down. Take notes. Be furiously curious. And then begin to piece everything you’ve learned together in a beautiful way. This is a time to form and re-form. Gather information.
Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Sandrahere or follow her on Instagram.
Scorpio :: Scorpio Rising Sounding the horn. A call to action. Awaken! Get moving on your new plan. This is your rally cry. This is your moment to find out how strong you are. You’ve been through a transformation. Get used to your new form and rise to the challenge ahead. Trust in yourself.
Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Sandrahere or follow her on Instagram.
After searching for her lost orgasm in her latest book, Sex Drive, Stephanie Theobald cavorts with fellow Virgo Carine Roitfeld, and discovers why Virgos are sexier than Scorpios …
Carine Roitfeld shot for the Veuve Cliquot Widow series
“Being a Virgo it is all about fantasy. In my head. You know how Virgos are—not so sexual!” As I witnessed former French Vogue editor-turned-stylist, Carine Roitfeld, cavorting with a living latex sex doll in the “Lust” room of her immersive “Widow” series for Veuve Clicquot (theme: The Seven Deadly Sins), I had to step in for an astrological intervention …
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Virgo vs. Scorpio: kinky phallic tales & ecstatic soil Being a Virgo myself, I’ve long endured all that crap about how we’re control freaks who only get off on doing housework. I’m used to swiftly shifting the conversation onto my Chinese sign (the much more amorous-sounding Fire Horse). But, these days I’m out and proud.
In my experience, Scorpios are one-trick ponies. Yes, Scorpios are into extreme passion, but that thunder and lightening sexuality burns out fast to leave a brooding, precarious calm. Think kinky dungeon sex, and a very male, genitalia-focused idea of sexuality: the sting in the phallic tail. But, yawn, there’s only one sting.
Meanwhile, the patriarchal propaganda around Virgo is that she’s a virgin who can’t be sexual without a man. Or, alternatively, that’s she so self-contained and powerful that she doesn’t need a man at all. Yet soil is fertile and rich with an all-encompassing energy. It is constantly ready to bring forth new life, new forms of ecstasy.
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Clitoral strength & the quest for my lost orgasm I reminded Carine that Virgos are of the Earth, and thus the most deeply and naturally sexual of all the horoscope signs.
Carine nodded, adding that her partner was a Scorpio, “And you know what they say about Scorpios … But yes, this is an interesting way to look at being a Virgo.”
Our conversation in the Lust room continued a theme from an earlier press conference, where I’d given Carine a bronze clitoris necklace created by Parisian jeweler, Anne Larue. At that event, we discussed my newly finished book, Sex Drive, which is all about how women need to learn how to conjure their sexuality as a life force. Carine picked up the organically-formed clitoris and said, with pure Virgoan instinct, “it is the symbol of female strength, n’est-ce pas?”
Written following an illness that destroyed my orgasm, Sex Drive is my memoir about driving across America in search of this lost pleasure center. But what started as a quest for the ultimate auto-erotic experience became a fantastic voyage into my own body, a way to heal what no western doctor had been able to heal, and a chance to re-build my orgasm from the ground up …
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Taking nature as my lover Contrary to the cliché surrounding “Virgo the virgin,” I’m not averse to a little kinky dungeon sex. But one of the discoveries that touched me the most during my drive across America was meeting porn star-turned artist Annie Sprinkles and discovering her idea of Ecosexuality- the notion that we can look at nature as our lover rather than our mother.
Annie took me on a sensual and thought-provoking “Ecosexy nature walk,” encouraging me to find my “E Spot” (Eco spot) by slapping what really did appear to be butts of trees and sniffing what seemed to be dicks of flowers. I grew up in Cornwall, England, one of the most country bumpkin of all the UK counties, so the crazy hippy Californian shit didn’t seem weird to me. But it also struck me that maybe this was my Virgo side coming out too.
Ecosexy suggests that swinging-from-the-chandeliers type sex doesn’t have to be the ultimate good time. When you tire of human energy, plant energy is a welcome and mysterious boon. Slowing things down and thinking a little out of the box can make sensuality even more exciting – and sustainable.
Carine Roitfeld shot for the Veuve Cliquot Widow series
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Slow seduction & natural witchery At the end of the evening, Carine revealed the inspiration behind her lust-themed installation, and her hopes for an evening of “radical feminine energy”: “I am interested in seducing people slowly,” she told me, adding that there should be a balance in everything, even lust.
“Desire is a balance between restraint and provocation. There is something fragile about desire. That is why I made the walls of delicate latex.”
Researching Madame Clicquot for the project, who became a widow at the age of 27 and took over her husband’s champagne business, Carine said she wanted to emphasize female strength and the “magic” that is in the air at this time of year. “I felt the idea of witchcraft and I wanted to destabilize the sense of the ordinary.”
A Scorpio might have seen this mysical talk as a cue for some Alistair Crowley-style Sex Magik kink. But us Virgos took a more natural approach. My birthplace, Cornwall, is known for its witches and “piskies,” so the idea of sorcery and magic have always seemed normal to me.
And fellow Virgo, Carine, was even more playful about the whole thing. “It is fun, no?” she exclaimed to her latex Lady in Red, and back for another round of dancing …
Stephanie Theobald is a journalist for the Sunday Times, the Guardian and Elle UK. She is also the author of four novels. Sex Drive is her fifth book. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter, and help crowd-fund Sex Drive HERE.
