Integrity Starts With You

Integrity starts with you – as in, by being honest with yourself about the truth of who you are. From there, it becomes easier to close the ‘values gap’ in the wider world, says Danielle Russell

Integrity starts with you Danielle Russell numinous books

Integrity is having a moment. You’ve probably read about it as alignment, authenticity, harmony, or wholeness. It is an important topic both personally and socially, because doing the work to become integral—all one—with ourselves first and foremost, is both healing and empowering.

With all the problems humanity faces today—from breathtaking inequality, to climate change, to the dire need to change the broken systems that have brought society to its knees over the past few decades—it’s more important than ever that we are able to remain true to our deepest selves, so we can genuinely connect and work on some of these problems together.

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Integrity and Self

Harmony is when what you think, what you do, and what you say are in alignment.” – attributed to Ghandi

Each of us is born whole, integral, and designed to act on our emotions and needs with no filter in place. As we mature, we learn how to conform to the elaborate social structures around us. Often this results in us overriding, or abandoning, our true selves, as we learn how to act in ways that win us approval, love, and belonging.

Belonging is a biological imperative. When we’re young and vulnerable the love of our elders directly translates into protection: our survival depends on it. But when this translates as an overpowering need to “fit in” as adults, it comes at a cost. One that has implications far beyond our individual selves.

In the drive to conform, we turn against our true selves, forcing our emotional needs and desires deep inside. Over time we become divided, two faced, with our “social selves” being the outward mask we wear to cover our true, authentic selves.

Often the parts of ourselves that we are most likely to cover up are the parts that make us uniquely us, yet that we deem unacceptable because of an “ideal” that’s been fed to us by industry, media, marketing, and popular culture our whole lives.

But the more we cover up our messy, unique shapes, voices, faces and identities, the more this upholds the status quo and perpetuates cycles of oppression.

Once these two identities are established, we tend to become further disconnected from our authentic self while fulfilling the needs of our social selves. We chase the things we think we want (in my case being a “good girl,” fitting the European standard of beauty, achieving success without ever coming across as “too ambitious”), but often overlook the things we truly long for (belly laughs, friends, the sound of wind through leaves, the feeling of deep inner peace).

At some point on this journey, we wake up to find ourselves addicted, exhausted, feeling lost, and wholly not at peace. This may manifest in our lives as broken relationships, failed careers, and feelings of purposelessness and being emotionally unmoored.

And because the oppressive message to act and be a certain way is everywhere we turn, impacting everybody on some level, when we look out on the wider world, we see a reflection of the divisiveness we feel on the inside. And so the cycle continues.

But there is a simple way to begin to right our ships: which is to begin telling the truth of who we are to ourselves.

We can start small: I don’t like how all the mindless scrolling makes me feel, and can work up to bigger, scarier truths: I’m in the wrong career, or, I put my comfort ahead of speaking out against that racist co-worker. By acknowledging what’s true for us, especially the things we think others will find unacceptable, we can begin to take actions that are in line with the person we truly are.

Once we begin the process of looking inside and being real about what we find there, we also begin to fine tune our moral compass. We’re more likely to stand up for what we know is right. We stop second guessing ourselves constantly, and at a soul level we feel free.

It takes time, and starts small, but once we begin this practice, we’ll begin to see bigger and more meaningful changes in our life—and the world we inhabit. Truth is the path back to integrity within ourselves.

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Integrity and Society

The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice.” – MLK Jr.

So what do we do when we’re trying to follow our truth, but it seems like we only have bad choices in front of us? Whether it’s what we consume (from goods and services to media), our decision to be (or not to be) active about issues in our community, or the kind of work we do, it often feels like any choice we make will bring us out of alignment with our integrity.

In our capitalist economic system, businesses are able to provide (relatively) cheap goods and services because of “externalities”—the technical term for any cost that has some kind of an impact on a third party that doesn’t have a choice in the matter.

The state of the world today—with climate disasters unfolding in greater numbers year over year, human rights violations constantly being exposed by the media, and biodiversity (and human fertility) in freefall—is shaped by these externalities.

Let’s use chocolate as an example. I really enjoy hot cocoa. It conjures fond memories and brings comfort when I need a break from reality. But then I discovered that most of the world’s cocoa is produced in West Africa, where child labor and slavery are rampant in the cocoa industry.

Not to mention the degradation of the land and the carbon footprint that are the true cost of this small moment of pleasure I experience in my home in California. My cup of cocoa hasn’t been quite so comforting since I learned these stats.

The same can be said for the majority of the choices we make as consumers today. So where do we go from here? How do we act in a way that is true to ourselves (in this example, self-care) without causing harm to others?

I could just stop eating chocolate. But how would this choice negatively impact workers at the cocoa farms, who have no other way to earn a living? I could encourage friends, family, and co-workers to only eat brands that have been verified as cruelty free? But how does this address the wider issue?

Often all we’re left with when attempting to answer these questions … is even bigger questions: Do we fight every battle? Can I really make a difference? Is it even possible to be a good person in such a broken system?

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Living with integrity in a broken world

It is in your hands to create a better world for all who live in it.” – Nelson Mandela

Seeking integrity in our own lives is one thing (whether this means owning up to a bad relationship and having the courage to move on, or calling out racism in the workplace)—but how to pay this forward in a world that’s full of bad choices? There are a few places we can at least start.

Live with less. When it comes to consumption of goods and services, the easiest way to cut down on our footprint (carbon, cruelty, or otherwise) is to simply consume less.

This raises questions about the knock-on effect of the people employed in the production and distribution of these goods—which is a whole other article in and of itself. I would argue we overemphasize GDP as an indicator of progress over happiness, health or welfare. With drastic enough reductions in consumption jobs will be lost, yes.

But degrowthers (an entire group of people dedicated to making this change a reality) believe that this shift will lead to economies becoming more “circular” (re-using and re-purposing what durable goods we have in our system already), local, and more akin to those seen in historic indigenous populations.

Know the score on your big decisions. Whether it’s grocery store staples, clothing, eating out, or travel (and especially travel), learn about the negative externalities where you spend your money, and do a quick cost/benefit analysis so you can adjust your choices accordingly.

If travel to a place is harmful to the people or ecosystem of that place, consider other places to visit or activities you can do. You will never escape all negative externalities; accepting the world we live in as it is does not imply approval of that world. But you can do your best to avoid the biggies, whatever those are for you.

Give back, get active. If you’re reading this article, chances are you’re sporting a little privilege. As you learn to live with less, also learn to give back more. Find ways to give time or money to causes that are the most important to you. And don’t forget to call out the bad actors. If you want to see your clothing more sustainably produced, call the manufacturer! Call your members of Congress, email the companies you buy from (and the ones you don’t), write op-eds, and generally have your voice be heard.

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Given the state of the world, trying to close the values gap in our lives can feel demoralizing; how can my small contribution make a difference? But study after study shows that it takes only 3.5% of a population taking action to make a difference. By that rule, if we all started living with more integrity, day-to-day, we’d make an immediate impact.

As the famous Margaret Mead quote goes: “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed it’s the only thing that ever has.”

And it all begins with you. Every small decision we make has a ripple effect, and when we’re really honest about who we are, it is all of our nature to value peace and collaboration. Where we see the opposite, we are witnessing a misalignment of these intrinsic human values, brought about by fear—fear of otherness, fear of scarcity, fear of not being allowed to live as our true selves.

By living as your authentic self, you model to others how it’s done. Which is ultimately how we’ll find our way out of the broken systems we live in.

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Danielle Russell is a writer and technologist with a background in Geology. She’s interested in all things environmental, feminism, and the arts. Danielle enjoys volunteering (currently climate advocacy) surfing, biking, live music, and books. She lives in California with her partner.  

A NEW IDEAL: AQUARIAN INSIGHTS FOR THE NEW MOON IN LIBRA

This New Moon in Libra is gifting us the tools to fashion a beautiful and empowering reality, says Hannah Ariel Eckhaus. PLUS a Kundalini meditation to aid the process. Image: Mellisa Ristine

new moon in libra October 12 2015 post on The Numinous
Image: Mellisa Ristine

Monday October 12th we are being delivered an opportunity to get real clear, real fast! We are being gifted a liberating new moon at 19 degrees of Libra. What makes this New Moon particularly ripe with potential for intentions to fly is that it’s taking place in direct opposition to innovative Uranus in Aries! Uranus is THE liberator. Uranian energy is radically electric, vertical like lightening, offering us “ah-hah” moments like we’ve never had before.

Libra is an intellectual air sign so our conscious thoughts count big time right now. The New Moon in Libra appears to be asking not just for our intentions but our attention. Especially when it comes to seeing how our inner thoughts correlate and compose our external reality. After all, what is suggested to us in our thoughts defines all the actions we take in our waking life.

Post-eclipse season, this New Moon in Libra will ideally help us to fashion new, focused thought forms, that will in turn lead us into a new, focused reality! A reality that reflects a recently realized new ideal regards your identity – a part of yourself that perhaps you’ve compromised or forgotten over time in order to follow preconceived social graces. After all, Libra rules relationships, balance, posture – this sign is master in the art of appearances. The New Moon in Libra couldn’t be more happy to help liberate you, with the reminder that the way things appear absolutely depends on your direct participation.

There is always so much more going on beneath the surface. The key is to remain clear and calm enough in your reality so that your intentions can propel you forward into situations and relationships that will support what you have in mind for the future. What is being presented to you? And where do you really stand on this? If you don’t know, then how then how can you move forward in a way that will support you?

Now, through the astrological energy surrounding the New Moon itself, it’s as if the Universe is handing us the tools to answer these questions ever so quickly. Uranus, Pluto, Venus and Mercury are all here at work, to aid in the manifestation of a reality based on the genius, beautiful ideal within you! The opposition to Uranus is all about cracking open the code of what needs to happen next; the brilliant “oh my goodness!” moment, where the truth becomes strikingly clear.

At the same time, Pluto will be squaring this Moon. Pluto energy deals with subconscious patterns so ingrained, we can no longer remember when they became habitual. Pluto in aspect to this New Moon in Libra will be to our advantage, empowering us to break down deep rooted, re-occurring thought patterns that are, in all actuality, no longer serving our highest aspirations. Especially in regard to relationships. Especially in regard to what feels harmonious.

This may not feel as “nice” as Libra would like at first, but Pluto and Uranus absolutely will make sure that your New Moon intentions begin a process helps reorder our reality to illustrates a new ideal, one that you will be proud to look at from an objective point of view.

Along with these power players, Venus and Mercury are currently involved in what is called a “mutual reception” – when two planets are in one another’s signs of rulership. While Libra energy is ruled by Venus; Virgo energy is ruled by Mercury. Currently, Mercury is in Libra while Venus is in Virgo, ultimately activating the circuitry of our consciousness in a way that will assist our thoughts to better reflect our true values.

Also, Mercury will be conjunct the North Node at this time. Meaning, our destiny is in motion and it is utterly up to us to be clear in our thinking now, as it is the clarity and co-operation of our thoughts that will lead us forward. Prioritize and remain focused on what creates harmony – what sings to your inner self? What did you learn about yourself during that Aries Full moon eclipse? This is prime opportunity to put all your recent epiphanies to good use! Venus in Virgo is an earthbound energy that takes great satisfaction in arranging the details to serve a greater purpose. What details do you want to pay attention to?

Post eclipse season; post Mercury and Venus retrograde; it’s time to break on through to the other side of self-doubt and self-evasive compromise. Remain alert to your most beautiful ideal. Now, offer yourself a chance to see it through in reality.

:: MEDITATION FOR THE NEW MOON IN LIBRA::
A kundalini meditation designed to particularly detox the mind each morning is Sodarshan Chakra Kriya. In the teachings of Yogi Bhajan, Sodarshan Chakra Kriya is: “one of the greatest meditations you can practice. It has considerable transformative powers…giving the individual a new perspective on the Self. It retrains the mind…it can purify your past karma and subconscious impulses that may block you from fulfilling you…it balances mental projection…establishes inner happiness and a state of flow and ecstasy in life.”

What tools help keep your thoughts and intentions clear? Join the conversation in the comments below, and connect with us on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter!

10 WAYS TO WORK WITH VENUS RETROGRADE

The planet of love, money and luxury goes retro this week. Star Sign Style’s Kimberly Peta Dewhirst has 10 ways to make this Venus retrograde work for you…Images: The Bedroom by Tasmin Jade Donaldson via Behance.net

the bedroom studio photo shoot by tamsin jade donaldson via behance.net on The Numinous

Romance, fashion, friendship, affection, intimacy, sweet moments and all the girlie things (think: sugar, spice, all things nice), are ruled by the goddess / planet Venus. The same goes for money and your bank balance, and all things sensual (beautiful scents, pleasing art scenes and landscapes, valuables, material wealth, riches etc.)

And she’s all set to do an about turn – a.k.a. begin a retrograde cycle – from July 25 – September 6.

Before you freak out at the sight of the “R” word (man has Mercury retrograde got some explaining to do), Venus retrograde could actually be a good thing for your relationships, your indulgences and your bank balance.

While Mercury rules all things communication related (technology, social media, commerce), it makes sense that the confusion that accompanies this planet’s retrograde phase can throw us some seriously frustrating curveballs.

But with Venus retrograde, we can expect our sensual nature to be activated and investigated, as we are asked to contemplate, reflect on and review what and who we love, how we show affection, flirt and attract a mate. Also, our relationship to money, our sense of self-worth, and attitudes to abundance.

One word of warning, however. If you hear people complaining during a Mercury retrograde phase that they messaged the wrong person and lost their mobile phone, during Venus retro listen out for and beware making outlandish declarations of love, and avoid extravagant purchases made on a whim.

Here are ten ways to make this Venus retrograde phase work in your favor…

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1. Reassess What Beauty Means To You
Venus rules how we dress up and beautify ourselves and our surroundings – in fact, you can look to your Venus sign for clues on your personal style. When Venus retrogrades you can remodel your choices, and this is a great time to create a mood or inspiration board to redefine your personal tastes.

Do NOT however book in for a drastic haircut or get the decorators in just yet – this is the contemplation stage. Wait till Venus goes direct to make any major changes (dates below).

2. Review Your Finances
As Venus rules over money, the retrograde period is prime time for rebalancing your books. But hold off implementing any financial overhauls – this period is for reevaluating your commitments, tying up loose ends, and revisiting old debts. It could be a great time to go and get a refund and have people pay up, or likewise to reimburse or repay any debts that have been hanging over you.

3. Resist The Lure Of Luxe
Just as buying electronic equipment isn’t advisable during Mercury retrograde, you’re better off waiting to buy any luxury goods and beauty related purchases now. Avoid large expenditures where fashion and frivolities are concerned – this is not the time to pull together a capsule wardrobe of ‘investment’ pieces, and definitely not on credit. Your instincts about what’s worth the splurge could be off during this period, so stick to window-shopping.

It could however be a great time to manifest and attract some beautiful vintage or second-hand pieces into your life – think flea markets, and antique fairs. One mans trash is another’s treasure, as the saying goes, and people could be reviewing their valuables during this time.

4. Research Your Purchases
One way to use the Venus retrograde to you advantage when it comes to shopping, is to know the true value of what you’re buying and make an informed choice. It can be a great time to barter and bargain, as long as you’re the one in the drivers seat (and you’ve researched the returns policy).

5. Retreat From The Dating Scene
Projects, relationships, people and businesses all carry an astrological imprint, and a relationship commenced during Venus retrograde could get off to a repetitive or exasperating start. At best you could have a long, drawn out honeymoon period, while a suitor could seem far more magnificent, charming and fabulous than they really are. Then, when Venus resumes normal function the rose tinted glasses come off.

If you do meet somebody, don’t trust the heat of the moment during the Venus retrograde. Instead, enjoy the flirtation stage and plan to commit when the planet goes direct.

6. Re-evaluate your relationships
If you’re in a relationship however, Venus retrograde offers you an opportunity to resolve any issues with your partner and recommit – if you’re wed you may even decide to renew tour vows!.Reaffirm your love, rekindle and reignite the romance, rejoice…and reproduce! Now is the time to reassemble the jigsaw of your relationship to create a more beautiful picture.

7. Remember The Good Times
Venus retrograde speaks of past relationships coming out of the woodwork (that goes for both romances and friendships), and reminiscing together actually be therapeutic, especially if you’re ready to go back and dig up treasures from the past. Ensure a reexamination is positive by appreciating the good times, even if you acknowledge that you aren’t right for each other now. Seek gratitude for the happiness you experienced in that moment. But if you DO decide an old flame could be reignited, the Universe could well support you now.

8. Revisit Your Passions
Venus favors feminine hobbies, and you may rediscover a love of jewellery making, beauty and fashion, make-up and hair, baking, flower arranging and interior decoration now.

With Venus retrograde in the creative sign of Leo (the majority of the time) the energies throughout the retrograde period are particularly supportive for recreation and play. The Numinous Temple of Venus is a perfect place to explore this energy, and you can check out all the upcoming events and workshops here.

9. Rethink The Sweet Stuff
Sounds silly but if you suffer from sugar cravings, Venus retrograde could be just the time to tackle your habit! Venus rules over cakes, biscuits, sweets (candy) and chocolate. There are so many documentaries on the hazards of this highly addictive substance (I’m talking about the refined white stuff – not sugars found in fruit), and once you research and reeducate yourself on this subject, this could be a supportive phase to regain control over a sweet tooth.

10. Reinstate Femininity
Invite the divine feminine into your world and cement its presence with this Venus retrograde. Dedicated some quality time to friendships with the women you love, taking time to really appreciate their soft yet strong attributes – embrace womanhood and what it means to be an empowered female today. Regroup or plan a reunion with your girls, recollect and celebrate them and why you value their friendship. Repair and patch up relationships that are lacking.

Your star dates as follows…

• Venus enters the shadow period Sunday 21st June
• Venus goes retrograde – Saturday 25th July
• Venus goes direct Sunday 6th September
• Venus is out of the ‘retrograde zone’ by 9th October 2015 – phew!

Author Kimberly Peta Dewhirst would love to hear your stories to support her growing understanding of the Venus retrograde period. Email: kimberly@starsignstyle.com with your birth data (time, date and place of birth) and details of your Venus retrograde experiences. (All information will be kept confidential)

Numinous community art project and interactive altar The Temple of Venus is a space dedicated to celebrating and healing anything that falls under the remit of the Goddess planet, and is open until August 19.