WHY VIRGOS ARE SEXIER THAN SCORPIOS

After searching for her lost orgasm in her latest book, Sex Drive, Stephanie Theobald cavorts with fellow Virgo Carine Roitfeld, and discovers why Virgos are sexier than Scorpios …

Carine Roitfeld Virgo Sexier than Scorpio Stephanie Theobald The Numinous

Carine Roitfeld shot for the Veuve Cliquot Widow series

“Being a Virgo it is all about fantasy. In my head. You know how Virgos are—not so sexual!” As I witnessed former French Vogue editor-turned-stylist, Carine Roitfeld, cavorting with a living latex sex doll in the “Lust” room of her immersive “Widow” series for Veuve Clicquot (theme: The Seven Deadly Sins), I had to step in for an astrological  intervention …

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Virgo vs. Scorpio: kinky phallic tales & ecstatic soil 
Being a Virgo myself, I’ve long endured all that crap about how we’re control freaks who only get off on doing housework. I’m used to swiftly shifting the conversation onto my Chinese sign (the much more amorous-sounding Fire Horse). But, these days I’m out and proud.

In my experience, Scorpios are one-trick ponies. Yes, Scorpios are into extreme passion, but that thunder and lightening sexuality burns out fast to leave a brooding, precarious calm. Think kinky dungeon sex, and a very male, genitalia-focused idea of sexuality: the sting in the phallic tail. But, yawn, there’s only one sting.

Meanwhile, the patriarchal propaganda around Virgo is that she’s a virgin who can’t be sexual without a man. Or, alternatively, that’s she so self-contained and powerful that she doesn’t need a man at all. Yet soil is fertile and rich with an all-encompassing energy. It is constantly ready to bring forth new life, new forms of ecstasy.

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Clitoral strength & the quest for my lost orgasm 
I reminded Carine that Virgos are of the Earth, and thus the most deeply and naturally sexual of all the horoscope signs.

Carine nodded, adding that her partner was a Scorpio, “And you know what they say about Scorpios … But yes, this is an interesting way to look at being a Virgo.”

Our conversation in the Lust room continued a theme from an earlier press conference, where I’d given Carine a bronze clitoris necklace created by Parisian jeweler, Anne Larue. At that event, we discussed my newly finished book, Sex Drive, which is all about how women need to learn how to conjure their sexuality as a life force. Carine picked up the organically-formed clitoris and said, with pure Virgoan instinct, “it is the symbol of female strength, n’est-ce pas?”

Written following an illness that destroyed my orgasm, Sex Drive is my memoir about driving across America in search of this lost pleasure center. But what started as a quest for the ultimate auto-erotic experience became a fantastic voyage into my own body, a way to heal what no western doctor had been able to heal, and a chance to re-build my orgasm from the ground up …

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Taking nature as my lover 
Contrary to the cliché surrounding “Virgo the virgin,” I’m not averse to a little kinky dungeon sex. But one of the discoveries that touched me the most during my drive across America was meeting porn star-turned artist Annie Sprinkles and discovering her idea of Ecosexuality- the notion that we can look at nature as our lover rather than our mother. 

Annie took me on a sensual and thought-provoking “Ecosexy nature walk,” encouraging me to find my “E Spot” (Eco spot) by slapping what really did appear to be butts of trees and sniffing what seemed to be dicks of flowers. I grew up in Cornwall, England, one of the most country bumpkin of all the UK counties, so the crazy hippy Californian shit didn’t seem weird to me. But it also struck me that maybe this was my Virgo side coming out too.

Ecosexy suggests that swinging-from-the-chandeliers type sex doesn’t have to be the ultimate good time. When you tire of human energy, plant energy is a welcome and mysterious boon. Slowing things down and thinking a little out of the box can make sensuality even more exciting – and sustainable.

Carine Roitfeld Virgo Sexier than Scorpio Stephanie Theobald The Numinous

Carine Roitfeld shot for the Veuve Cliquot Widow series

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Slow seduction & natural witchery  
At the end of the evening, Carine revealed the inspiration behind her lust-themed installation, and her hopes for an evening of “radical feminine energy”: “I am interested in seducing people slowly,” she told me, adding that there should be a balance in everything, even lust.

“Desire is a balance between restraint and provocation. There is something fragile about desire. That is why I made the walls of delicate latex.”

Researching Madame Clicquot for the project, who became a widow at the age of 27 and took over her husband’s champagne business, Carine said she wanted to emphasize female strength and the “magic” that is in the air at this time of year. “I felt the idea of witchcraft and I wanted to destabilize the sense of the ordinary.”

A Scorpio might have seen this mysical talk as a cue for some Alistair Crowley-style Sex Magik kink. But us Virgos took a more natural approach. My birthplace, Cornwall, is known for its witches and “piskies,” so the idea of sorcery and magic have always seemed normal to me.

And fellow Virgo, Carine, was even more playful about the whole thing. “It is fun, no?” she exclaimed to her latex Lady in Red, and back for another round of dancing … 

Stephanie Theobald is a journalist for the Sunday Times, the Guardian and Elle UK. She is also the author of four novels. Sex Drive is her fifth book. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter, and help crowd-fund Sex Drive HERE.

6 Comments

  • V says:

    You do realize some of your readers are Scorpios. Lol. This was the most hilarious attempt at self-aggrandizement at the expense of others. This is supposed to be an empowering website and yet you just reduced many many people into “one trick ponies.” wow.

    • M says:

      I agree with the comment made by the reader V. As a long time follower of The Numinous, I am really discouraged that they took the measure to publish this article, far from empowering which I thought was at the heart and ethos of The Numinous. Very disappointing. P.S. Scorpio sun, Virgo rising.

      • Annette says:

        Agreed.. sort of stopped reading when it seemed to bash Scorpio. Could have said something more themed along the lines of like.. “Scorpio isn’t the only sign that deserves a reputation for being sexy.. “
        I mean.. after all.. the embodiment of all the signs are sexy right? See Shelia Kelly SFactor’s “erotic creature” philosophy which embraces everything from a shy reluctant enigma, a champion, a deep soulful siren, a lustful lover, a dangerous challenger and more.. including the naughty provacateur.. All as embodiments of sexy. No need to bash another sign’s sex appeal to exalt another.

  • A says:

    Read it because I’m a Scorpio Rising, Virgo Moon.
    So, besides the fact that many other signs are just as sexual as Virgos, reducing the whole story to two signs is laughable… it would be laughable I should say if I didn’t know that many times people write articles the same way corporations do studies : this is the conclusion I want you to arrive at, now go and do your job, and don’t forget you’re doing (writing) it for me…. :/

  • Samantha says:

    There are good things and bad things about all the star signs, but I feel that “one trick ponies” is quite an unfair generalisation. I hope this was a case of the author expressing her sentence improperly, as opposed to a blatant insult.

    Sincerely,

    A sensual, quadruple Virgo with Scorpio in Pluto

  • Stephanie says:

    I loved the article, I found it to be very interesting, and inspiring (sexually). For those who commented above, those who may have felt offended by the Scorpio vs. Virgo aspect of the article. I would recommend reading it over again without identifying yourself as BEING ‘a Scorpio’ or BEING a Virgo’. Allow your mind to “forget” for a moment who or what you identify yourself with(who or what you think you are) and you will see that this article has much more to offer you than you originally may have thought.

    *This is not a comment by the author of the article above, we just happened to have the same first name ;) <3

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