Passion and drive are running high as we begin the new year, says Jennifer Racioppi in her reading for the Aries waxing quarter moon…Collage:Bethany Harper-Walsh
The Waxing Quarter Moon :: January 5, 2017 :: 12.47pm EST :: 14 Degrees Aries
2017 kicks off with a waxing moon. Between now and the upcoming Full Moon on January 12th, the moon gains light, amplifying her power, while adding energy to the intentions we set with the last new moon late December. As the Sun and Moon form a square, smack in between the last New Moon and the upcoming Full Moon, we have the opportunity to consciously integrate our growth.
Pay close attention to the details of your life and prepare for a cosmic shift in focus. The upcoming Full Moon occurs at 22 degrees of Cancer, forms a Grand Cardinal Cross between the sun, the moon, Jupiter, and Eris. A Grand Cardinal Cross reinforces evolutionary adjustments, realignments, and initiations, asking us to surrender our ego (as needed) on behalf of our (and the planet’s) highest good.
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:: THE SUN :: The sun in productive Capricorn pushes us to do our best, and stay hard-working. Currently, the sun lags behind powerhouse Pluto by two degrees. With the sun in industrious, stalwart, Capricorn on her way to meet Pluto (they conjoin on the 7th) we can expect to feel focused as this position amplifies vigilance and intensity. Even with Mercury retrograde, the possibility of great gains keeps us highly motivated. Stay driven to do your best but be willing to surrender too. Pluto teaches us how to turn things over to God, and often has a humbling impact! So don’t hesitate to surrender as needed, and ask for Divine support!
:: THE MOON :: With the moon traveling through the cardinal sign of fiery Aries, an energizing influence imbues the cosmos. The moon represents our subconscious world, our emotions, and our feminine nature. Aries, on the other hand (much less concerned with feelings), wants results—and fast. While the moon is in Aries, we feel driven, maybe even impatient (particularly since she’s meeting up with erratic Uranus—a planet famously known for surprise changes). So be careful not to override your emotional sensibility. Stay connected to your inner voice and intuition. Give yourself ample time for self-care so that you can stay in-tune with you—your truth.
:: THE SQUARE :: With the sun in go getter Capricorn squaring the moon in impatient Aries, kindness remains paramount. Determination, innovation, intense focus and the need for change dominate this particular lunar influence. That said, don’t let it override your connection to yourself and others. Because the cosmic influence remains extremely action oriented and bold, yet simultaneously unpredictable and humbling, stay pure of heart. Hold a high vision. Connect to your deepest wisdom and stay generous with others.
:: THE MESSAGE :: Don’t become overly fixated on what you want. Lead with patience and kindness. Let your highest self triumph over your ego. Leave room for surprises, and ask for help. Prepare to overcome all obstacles as they arise through wisdom and collaboration. Watch out for self-absorption, or even arrogance, and stay willing to co-create with the Divine. Life happens for you, not too you. We are all in this together.
For more Moon wisdom or to book a coaching session with from Jennifer visit Jenniferracioppi.com
The Earth needs empowered feminine energy like never before in 2017. How will you connect to the many faces of the feminine essence?
2016 was a wildly challenging ride through womanhood. As we enter the New Year, we sat down with Sarah Durham Wilson and Jessica Sevapreet Hesser to explore how you can activate all of the faces of your feminine in 2017—from awakening your creative force to making friends with death.
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DECIDE HOW YOU WANT TO SHOW UP AS A WOMAN IN THE WORLD
To show up as a woman in the world, you have to understand that first and foremost you are WOMAN. Imagine what it would be like to feel worthy, beautiful, loved, and important without needing to change or maintain anything. What if no matter what you did, no matter how you looked, no matter what happened to you, you understood that these essential things were always yours?
I didn’t really find the Goddess, she found me. Many years ago I had an experience of my god dying. It really came out of the blue, and this idea of a Christian male godhead started to disintegrate within me. At first I really grieved this loss, but then things started to move in a different way—Jessica
Activation: Finding the goddess is really just about connecting with the parts of you that feel beautiful and graceful. A perfect way to do this is through dancing. Put on music and just let it move you. Raise the vibration even higher by wearing something silky or adorning yourself with jewelry. Start with this Goddess Playlist.
Women hold the death energy because we are always changing, like the Moon and like the seasons. When we remove ourselves from death and darkness it leaves us very incomplete and disempowered. In working with the Faces of Feminine we can come back into integrity with the beautiful wholeness, which is our birthright and the source of our power—Jessica
Making friends with death is about inviting back all the parts of ourselves we have exiled. It’s an invitation back into integrity and into wholeness. Explorations into this dark space can start by just allowing yourself to really be in the unknown.
Activation: Sit in silent meditation, unmoving, with your eyes closed for 20 minutes per day. See what comes up with curiosity, rather than fear.
Crystals: Black Tourmaline, Obsidian, Black Fluorite
Sarah Durham Wilson
DISCOVER THE “FOUR NIGHTS”
Once a woman understands the cycles of the earth and phases of the Moon, she can understand herself better. She doesn’t feel so alone because she is one with the Mother, which is where we feel best; it’s where we feel most natural, most feminine, most alive, most nurtured, abundant, and empowered—Sarah
Activations:
Dark of the Moon—Let yourself be emptied. Have a day of silence. Turn off your phone, computer, and TV and just experience being only with yourself, alone and quiet.
Waxing Moon—Make a list of all the new things you want to do for the next year and then go do one! Go on an adventure. Explore. Listen to music that enlivens your spirit.
Full Moon—Get creative. Paint, draw, or cook a fabulous meal.
Waning Moon—Self care. Take a bath. Get a massage. Do some slow yoga. Let yourself eat in a way that really feels nourishing.
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ALIGN WITH YOUR FEMININE AND MASCULINE ENERGIES
When I reside in the unhealthy masculine, I’m chasing, not receiving. I’m pushy, rushed, and faithless. When I lose touch with feminine energy, I lose touch with the best parts of myself. Re-finding the balance between the two serves not just me but everyone around —Sarah
We all have feminine and masculine energy. The key is to know when each is useful. Masculine energy is essential in order to manifest your creativity and turn your feminine force into action and form. But too much masculinity can show up as disconnection, rigidity, aggression, or irritation. Too much femininity arises through overly-emotional reactions, indecisiveness, confusion, or an inability to take action. If you’re experiencing either of these, it’s time to call your neglected side back to the table.
FEMININE ACTIVATION: Try reading or writing poetry, dancing, or singing. Focus on receiving. Do a few minutes of left nostril breathing.
Woman is always the creative essence, whether through giving birth to children, ideas, businesses, art, words, or any other form you put into the world. The Maiden energy is full of vitality and energy. But when we stay there too long, the opposite actually happens: we are drained of our energy and we are stripped of our power. The Maiden doesn’t quite yet know what being woman is, but the Mother embodies it completely—Jessica
MAIDEN ACTIVATION: The gift of the maiden is innocence. If you feel a loss of vitality in life or are lacking passion and enthusiasm, you may need to connect to your maiden energy. Engage in something new—go on a road trip, check out a class you’ve always wanted to take, have an adventure day.
MOTHER ACTIVATION: The gift of the mother is grace. If you find yourself really concerned with what other people think of you or are wrapped up in appearances, you could do with a good dose of Mother energy. Connect with Mother Earth. Go outside, walk barefoot, lay in the grass, pick wildflowers. Try the Maaa Meditation.
I know that the Goddess is the missing piece in so many women living in a patriarchal culture—these are tools I wish my mother had had, the self love and intuition and feminine alignment of cycles and seasons in our lives. When I had a feminine awakening, it literally saved my life and I wanted to share the gifts I’d been shown with every woman I possibly could. I didn’t just want to, it felt like a mission that Goddess had handed me—Sarah
The first step to working with other women is to be willing to get over yourself! Allow yourself to really enjoy the things that other women bring to the table without needing to compete or compare. Every woman has her own gifts and when we join forces our power is exponential.
Crystals: Blue Lace Agate, Blue Chalcedony, Turquoise
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BECOME A SACRED ACTIVIST
2017 will be the year of the woman. There is a huge awakening in response to a call felt deep in the heart of every woman, a call put out by a planet which is suffering. Women are rising up, ready to be sacred activists, ready to be protectors of the earth and its people, ready to be the saviors we have been waiting for—Jessica
Becoming a sacred activist means first coming into integrity and alignment with your own values. Take a look at the things you find yourself impassioned about. How much energy do you use that you don’t need to? What do you “make war on,”attack, or hate in your own life or in yourself? Where do you sell yourself as a woman—where do you abdicate your power? After you dig into questions like these, the work you can offer the world shows up really clearly.
Join Sarah Durham Wilson of DOTIGIRL and Jessica Sevapreet Hesser for FACES OF THE FEMININE, a four-weeks online women’s study course, with guidance, virtual circles, rituals and Kundalini Yoga starting January 8th. Find out more and register here.
Want to make a difference in 2017? Numinous Founder Ruby Warrington shares 8 ways to be a spiritual activist…
“Are you going on the Women’s March?” It’s the question doing the rounds as we come around from the collective anesthesia of the holidays and it all comes flooding back. The Trump regime. This is happening. Time to get back to work. Considering a lot of what I talk about on this platform involves the words “spiritual activism,” it may come as a surprise to learn that the answer from me is “no.” At the time of writing this I do not have plans to join the 200,000 + protestors who will march on Washington Jan 21, the day after the inauguration.
And it’s not because I don’t think that it’s necessary to vocalize our anger with the incoming administration. It’s not because I believe that humans mobilizing en masse doesn’t have any impact—just look at Standing Rock. But just as each individual birth chart maps a unique life path—a unique dharma—it seems to me that vocal protest is but one of many, many, many small and different ways that each and every one of us is being called to be of service in 2017.
When I launched our #TuneInPeaceOut event in September last year, it was because I had identified my big message for the world as being: PLEASE CAN EVERYBODY JUST STOP FIGHTING! WE’RE ALL ON THE SAME TEAM, FFS! “I guess I’m a massive pacifist,” I told the life coach who helped me boil it down. So it makes sense that when I think about my personal contribution going forward, it’s less about fighting against the system, and more about putting all my energy and ingenuity into creating a new way of seeing and doing things. A way that works for everybody.
Read on for 8 ways to practice spiritual activism in 2017…
1. DON’T HATE, CREATE. I equate creativity with spirituality, and so for me the term “spiritual activism” speaks to action that is an expression of our desire to create—create new conversations, create conscious businesses, create works of art that shake up the status quo, create babies who will grow to be future spiritual activists!
2. COMPASSION INTO ACTION. It also means taking action from a place of compassion and empathy—knowing that we are all connected. Like I said, we’re all on the same team—meaning, as humans, we all have the exact same needs (love, material security, freedom, to be heard and understood), and the exact same fears (pain, hunger, abandonment). Yes—even the President elect. Knowing this, the more our actions are about giving each other what we need, the better.
3. TEAMWORK. So, we’re all connected. Which means that working with others who share our goals is way more impactful that going it alone—as this creates a cosmic domino effect. Marches and protests are one amazing example of this! But also look at the impact of the online group Pantsuit Nation. Who’s doing stuff you see making a positive difference? Ask how can get involved.
4. CONSCIOUS COMPUTING. The Age of Aquarius has given us this amazing tool called the internet, which means we are literally all connected. Sadly it didn’t come with any instructions for how to use it to get everybody to stop fighting. It really is on us to a) figure out ways to use this tool to create good stuff, to get educated, to learn compassion, and to give each other more of what we need, and b) not get sucked into the shadow side of online life (misinformation, fear-mongering, and comparison/separation).
5. CONSUME BETTER AND LESS. In relation to spiritual activism, the message of conscious consumption is two-fold. Firstly, yes, every dollar you spend is a vote for the kind of world you believe in. Don’t believe in the objectification of women? Don’t buy fashion brands who objectify women in their ad campaigns! Obvious right? But we do it all the time without even thinking. Second, a lot of the times when we buy more stuff and eat and drink more stuff it’s a way to distract us from the stuff our soul came here to do. Consume less + feel more = get inspired to act (as uncomfortable as this can feel). Oh and all that money you spend on “stuff”? Could also be donated to causes and charities where it’s really needed.
6. SEE A SPIRIT FIRST. This is about seeing past what a person says and does, past what they believe, past what job they do, past what country or body they were born in, and looking for the human spirit underneath. And going from there. Also, making it your business to interact with people who are not “like you” on the outside, as a way to practice seeing the spirit on the inside.
7. RESPOND DON’T REACT. If the Donald has taught us anything, it’s how ridiculous and childish it is to go with your knee-jerk reaction to anything which could be perceived as a “threat” to you and / or your beliefs. Yoga and meditation are a physical way to build the spiritual resilience it takes to listen and digest first—making it possible to choose the right next course of action. The “right” action being the one that works for you, and for everybody else.
8. LISTEN. Everybody’s got an opinion. Everybody wants their opinion to be heard. And everybody says what they think will get the biggest reaction because everybody also wants their opinion to get liked on social media. But it can be the people with the quietest voices who need to be heard the most. Not to mention the least “likable” truths. So just be quiet and listen for a minute. Maybe ask a question, something along the lines of: what do you really need? This way, your next action can truly be of value to a fellow human spirit.
Read more about spiritual activism from our Moon Club founding members! We have curated a line-up of humans who are committed to creating good stuff for humanity, and who will be on hand to offer additional support and guidance to our members. Meet them here and read more about Moon Club and sign up here.
Elyssa Jakim sits down with her hero, the Goddess Venus, for some lessons in love, sex, and relationships for 2017…
The author channeling Goddess Venus
In the spring of 2012, I took a fated voyage to Italy. I toured Rome, Florence, and Venice for two weeks by myself without knowing any Italian except different variations of ciao and grazie. I had experiences that ranged in tint from enchanting to bizarre to intense to delicious to profound.
Of course, I visited the Uffizi Gallery in Florence: the must-see museum city’s must-see museum. After rounding a nondescript corner of this monolith, I found myself face-to-face with Botticelli’s The Birth of Venus. The sight was astonishing. Instantly, tears sprang to my eyes at the golden masterwork. I knew Venus. I looked like her. I was her.
Chills ran through my body. Identifying with Venus bundled me in a new layer of self-acceptance, like a warm cloak. The sight of that painting changed something in me.
This all happened before I had discovered that I was a latent medium. But, looking back on my emotional response, I believe this meeting with Venus sealed my future work with her—and my eventual ability to hear her. Since that trip, Venus (and that image of her) has entered my life in countless ways—not least with my Temple Of Venus column for The Numinous, in which I have discussed many ways to work with the energy of the Goddess Venus.
As this column prepares to transition in the New Year (stay tuned for its next incarnation), I decided that a perfect way to pay homage to our Venus would be to let her speak.
So as we close out 2016, I sat down with the Goddess Venus to get her tips on love and romance for the year ahead. And yes, by sitting down with the Goddess, I mean I went into deep meditation and had a conversation with my hero Venus!
VENUS GREETS US! “Hello Universe! It is a pleasure to be heard by you. Numinous readers have deep sensitivity. I hope they can feel my vibration through these words.”
ELYSSA JAKIM: What can you tell us about relationships in the current climate, Venus? GODDESS VENUS: Recently, I have found I want more from my lovers and my standards are elevated, which means you mortals too have been more demanding in your relationships. It’s good to have high standards. But like anything, these high expectations must be balanced. So here is my tip for relationships in 2017: look at your closest relationships, especially with those family members who you perhaps spent more time with during the holidays.
Ask yourself: are my standards fair? Am I being too hard on the people around me? How can I receive the love that they are trying to give, even if they lack the right words? How can I appreciate the effort my loved ones make, even when it doesn’t land quite right? This will free you up into compassion.
EJ: Are the high standards also helpful? GV: Yes! The shift into higher standards is very important for those wishing to break their relationship patterns and attract a new kind of love in the new year. If you know you are ready to change how you date and whom you date, start setting your new patterns without delay. Walk your talk. When the same type of person you always date with no positive results asks you out, decline. Cut a date short if you don’t feel honored. It is time to spend time with people who lift you up, enlighten you, who make you laugh, and who make you feel healthy. Be aware of the company you keep.
EJ: What’s your message to the world right now? GV: Stay close to your heart. It’s easy to look outside of yourself to find the answers, and it is easy to look outside of yourself for despair too. But the thing that is truly sustaining is the energy of your own knowing. People know what is right for them so much more than they think. I see so many of you asking for advice when you don’t really need it.
Is it advice or is it permission you’re seeking? I give you permission right now to make your own decisions. Trust that you have all of the answers inside of you. Especially in this Internet age where there are so many answers. Before googling all the symptoms (physical and metaphysical) simply ask your self what you need.
Artwork: Bea Toa
EJ: What are your tips for sensuality in 2017? GV: Get into your body, and get truly sensual! Challenge your lingerie choices. If you always wear a bra, forget it for a day. If you’re always flying free, try something structured and see how it makes you feel. Notice your body’s sensory reaction to clothes. What makes your genitals a little excited when you think about wearing it? What are your sensual fabrics? Read a book of erotica or a book about tantra and practice by yourself. Get intimate and cozy and hot inside to offset the frost. Winter’s dark mysteries can be pretty sexy.
EJ: Is January really a good time for a detox? GV: We often indulge during the holidays, since emotions are running high, and being surrounded by family members can trigger this. A way to temper this is to make sure your self-care practices are also on high alert. In January, drink SOOOOO much water. Put crystals in the water to make it more fun! If you have a sweet tooth, perhaps try a spoonful of honey. It may be cold out, but fresh air will help you to re-group and re-ground.
This is not a time of denial. If you’re choosing to eat healthier in January, feel excited by this act of nourishment.Receive the sweetness you maybe crave from other things. From a warm hug. From a great wintery walk. From candles. From kisses in the snow. From romance.
EJ: You are the Goddess of romance, Venus. What does that word mean to you? GV: It means saying your true feelings out loud. Whether this is a crush or a long-term lover, to me being bold can be really sexy. Remember when you wrote letters to people as a teen, Elyssa? I loved that!You might have been embarrassed, but I found it beautiful! Most importantly, be romantic for yourself. Light candles in your space and play music that feels sexy or heartwarming to you. Sit by the fire, take hot showers, seek heat and warmth. Put red roses or petals in your space. Write yourself a love letter. Cook yourself a nice meal. Take yourself out on your own perfect date. The ways to be romantic are limitless, it’s just important to remember to do it.
EJ: How can Numinous readers connect with you in 2017? GV: My energy is awakening more and more on the planet right now and I invite any one reading this to spend time in meditation with me. And remember, I exist in many forms. I exist as honeybees. I am a planet, obviously. I am white buffalo calf woman. I am the earth. I am sensuality. I am the womb. I am your deep femininity. Please spend some time with me. Please put a red rose in your hair, light a white candle, wear something gold, anoint your body with oil, listen to music, sway, and think of me. I love you so much. Have fun and you will prosper!
Elyssa Jakim is available for intuitive readings that channel goddesses, guides, angels, ancestors as well as astral travel sessions, distance reiki, and more! Check outelyssajakim.comfor details on how to work with her. And discover her on Instagram @temple_of_venus.
The Capricorn New Moon is here to fuel our resolutions for the coming year, and she wants you to succeed in all your goals, says Sandra Sitron…
Get a PDF workbook for the coming Moon Phase when you sign up for Moon Club!
New Moon :: December 29th 2016 :: 1:54am EST :: 8 degrees Capricorn
A New Moon is a time for fresh intentions. An old cycle has ended, and a new one begins. Imagine that you are planting seeds at this time. Over the course of the next two weeks the seeds will grow to full bloom. What seeds will you plant?
The Capricorn New Moon is achingly practical. She wants you to grow to your full potential. She wants you to use all of your skills, be responsible, be productive and be your own authority. This Moon reminds of the cold hard truth—if the foundation isn’t strong, there will be problems later on. And yet, the Capricorn New Moon message is empowering—make a good plan, cover all your bases and believe in your own ability to succeed. You can show up for this challenge by deciding what you want and making choices that align with your desires.
The Capricorn New Moon happens annually around the time of the New Year. As you set your 2017 resolutions, you are actually crafting a good old-fashioned Capricorn plan! Capricorn helps us structure and produce. So get out your calendar and start sketching out some goals. What will your focus be for each quarter over the next year? What will your focus be each month? Start with the big projects and break it down from there.
The Capricorn New Moon whispers in our ear with a firm and steady voice. She takes a serious tone, but know that she wants the world for us. She wants us to feel the satisfaction of achievement. She says, “I want the best for you. I want you to build something good. You have to do it on your own, but I am supporting you. So show up. Be consistent. Take responsibility. Shoulder the burden. Choose which mountain you are going to climb and then begin. Be determined and diligent. Integrity, responsibility and authority will help you climb your mountain.”
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The Moon and it’s message Exploring underground caves.
You’re a spelunker. You are moving through caves because it is time for you to examine the architecture of your life. This adventure requires bravery and diligence. As you assess the caverns, you must determine if they are stable before you venture in. The symbolic message of the caves is twofold; first, that you must make space for your deepest emotions. Without processing your deepest emotions, you won’t be able to make a conscious plan. Your choices will be too clouded by subconscious fear or anger. Second, that you are revisiting your past. You have to backtrack and rethink past decisions. New information will be revealed during this time. You will make discoveries that inspire you to form a new approach.
Moon Conjunct Mercury (Retrograde) The rules of the game. The tendency is to be very exact. To know the rules of the game. By all means play by the rules, but leave a little room for adjustment, when necessary. It will soothe your mind to have some kind of “rule book” that you are abiding by. Structure is your friend. Just be careful not to be too rigid.
Moon Conjunct Pluto The phoenix rises. You are ready to be born anew. An old cycle is ending. You must let go. You must let everything burn away. This requires bravery and trust. Let something die to make room for the new. Acknowledge the emotions that come up and give yourself empathy. Help the old pain heal.
Moon Sextile Mars and Neptune The boomerang comes back. You are able to move forward and backward through time. What is time? Does it even exist? Return in your memory to your child self at different ages and shower them with unconditional love. This is a way to begin to heal yourself. Find ways to venture through “the veil” between the the physical and non-physical realms. Deepen your meditation practice. Practice shamanic journeying. Create art or music. In your daily life, take action only when you’re inspired. All of these practices will support your ability to be productive and help you meet your goals.
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Summary: Although this moon is highly practical, there is a strong emotional tone to it as well. The message is to keep looking at any old fears objectively and see what you are ready to let go of now. Notice what you’re ready to set a new intention around. Be an architect. Re-design your life, based on your desires and not your fear, or what you believe is expected of you. You’re in charge now. You’re the grown-up.
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The following suggestions for self-inquiry by sign are designed to help you get deeper into your Capricorn New Moon ruminations. You can get a more accurate insight by checking where 8 degrees Capricorn falls in your birth chart, and also reading for that house.
Aries or 10th house What in your career is ready to shift? Spend some time journaling about your vision for your career, and list all the steps it will take to get there.
Taurus or 9th house How can you actively inspire yourself? What practical things will help expand your sense of wonder about the world?
Gemini or 8th house In what area of your life are you ready to let go of control? If you did so, how might that feel? What hidden desires rise to the surface?
Cancer or 7th house What relationship patterns are you aware of? When you’re in this pattern how does it feel? How would you like to feel instead? Can you lean into this feeling?
Leo or 6th house What healthy habits will you prioritize this month? In what ways might this inspire you to also be of service?
Virgo or 5th house How would you like to expand your creativity? What idea has been on the back-burner that you are ready to begin work on now?
Libra or 4th house How can you make your home more graceful and elegant? How would this affect your mood? And your productivity?
Scorpio or 3rd house If you were going to take a class or attend a workshop, what would it be about? Is it possible to make that happen?
Sagittarius or 2nd house What is blocking you from realizing your self worth? What limiting beliefs are behind any instances of poverty consciousness (“I am not enough / There is never enough”?)
Capricorn or 1st house What is blocking you from saying “yes”? What is blocking you from saying “no”? List the thoughts or emotions that comes up, and then ask yourself, “is that actually true?”
Aquarius or 12th house What is the dominant feeling surfacing for you right now? What’s it like to feel this way? Journal on this feeling and then ask yourself: What can I let go of in order to heal?
Pisces or 11th house Which part of your life are you ready to share with the world? How have your unique experiences equipped you with the insight to make a real difference?
Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Sandra Sitronhere or follow her on Instagram. PLUS get a PDF workbook with coaching exercises for each week of the coming moon phase when you sign up for Moon Club! Discover more at Moonclub.co
In her final Holy F*ck column of 2016, Alexandra Roxo has 5 ways to jumpstart your love and sex life in 2017…Portrait: Alexandra Herstik
2016 has been a wild year for the planet and for America. For me it’s been a year of change and growth and reshuffling and purging and mourning and planting seeds and learning. I also hadn’t been single in 10 years, and have spent this one being VERY single. I’ve used this time to have a giant rethink of ALL my ideas, values, and beliefs about love and sex.
I’ve done some dating, sure, but I put the brakes on things in the name of some deep diving and learning and observing of myself and my clients, which is hard for a Piscean princess who loves to dive into romance. My birthday is just days from Anais Nin (if that means anything to you you’re prob my tribe!).
Last week, in search of my culminating thoughts about love and sex and spirit for the end of this year, I called my friend Gala Darling, whose latest love story is one of my faves! After a divorce, Gala met her adorable boyfriend online a little over a year ago and I’d been swooning over them via Insta for a while. I wanted to hear the dirt…Did she believe in soul mates? Manifesting the man of your dreams with spells and rituals? Making a list of important things in love and meditating on them? I had a lot of questions for her.
Gala said many things but what stuck out the most was: “Relationships are not meant to be easy. Marriage is not easy. They are not meant to be comfortable. They are meant to push you to see things about yourself that are not actualized. Having a soul mate is not a party!” This sentiment is way too overlooked in the twin flame/soul mate discourse. Where’s the footer that says “Hey BTW this shit hurts”?
Gala Darling and her boyfriend Garnett shot by Juliane Berry
She also reminded me that there is no certainty. Like ever. In marriage. In relationships. In any of it. People who are single think “Oh when will I meet that special someone?” And then people who are in partnership may be asking “Is this right? Is it supposed to hurt this much? Be this hard? Do I still love them?” There is no certainty but our devotion to ourselves, and our practice of keeping aligned with our heart’s needs.
So in order to do just that I’ve prepared some writing exercises for this column, to help you too rethink/ rewrite / jumpstart your love and sex life in 2017…
So get out your journal. Put on a kimono. Or silk PJ’s. Select some quiet tunes. Burn some incense. Make yourself a cozy nest. I rec bed surrounded by blankets and pillows and some rose tea and a few candles.
RETHINK YOUR “LIST”
We all make these grand lists of what we want in a partnership and we often forget that the human we imagine coming into our life will also be flawed. Just like us! Do you have some list you’ve been working on for years? Fantasies in your mind about how your partner should or shouldn’t be? This can change as you grow so def revisit every six months. So use this time to make a list of HARD YES’s and HARD NO’s, and to really meditate on them.
Ask yourself big questions like: “Could you be with someone who doesn’t believe in God? Or do you absolutely need to be with someone who wants kids?”
BROADEN YOUR IDEA OF A SOUL MATE
Do you have people in your life you have let see the whole spectrum of your madness and beauty? Your most ugly side and your most beautiful? I believe all the people who can hold all of us and push us to our edges are our soul mates. If you’ve never let your darkness come out with anyone I say deepen a friendship with someone who you can do that with. Not in an abusive way, but in a way where the connection can go deep under the surface. That will get you ready for partnership, and if you’re partnered it will keep you deep diving into yourself.
My friend Rebecca and I really did NOT like each other when we met. I thought she was a dirty hippie and she thought I was a stuck up goodie two shoes. 15 years later we are best friends. During that time we’ve hated each other. Not spoken for a year. Had the most heinous of fights. But had the most enlightening and fun and hilarious moments together too. She knows me in a way no one else can. Our love is as deep as the ocean.
Ask yourself: “Who are my soul mates now? Who has pushed me to the edges and helped me grow? What can I learn from these relationships about myself?”
COMMIT TO A PRACTICE AND STICK WITH IT
If you haven’t dated in a while, will you commit to a dating practice? Perhaps you and a friend can buddy up, open an online account, make a ritual of creating your profile (which Gala says is “like casting a spell!”) Practice connecting with strangers in a non-attached way. Go on coffee dates with no agenda except chatting with a stranger. Maybe 1 out of 10 will be someone you’re actually attracted to, so keep it chill. No expectations. Treat it like a morning yoga practice!
If you’re in a relationship commit to a growth practice. Is it seeing a relationship coach once a month to make sure you are growing? Does your sex life need a reboot? Can you commit to an afternoon every other week of sexual exploration time to keep expanding there? If your relationship has become too dependent can you commit to developing and nurturing solo space?
Decide what practice you want to commit to in 2017 and break it down over the months and weeks.
GET TO KNOW YOUR LOVE STYLES
How do you like to be loved? (If you need some inspo you can do the 5 Languages of Love quiz.) I know I mostly need to be loved with touch and kind words, and if I feel I can communicate that to my next partner they don’t waste their time buying me gifts or giving me rides or cooking for me. I told Loulou (one of my besties) about this, and now we know that we both highly value a solid compliment we pay each other loving compliments regularly! It just takes knowing and asking.
Make a list of ways you like to be loved, either within a partnership or solo. Do you need more touch? Schedule a weekly massage or trade with a friend.
LOOK IN THE MIRROR
Don’t make me quote Michael but um…he had a point! If you were a potential partner meeting yourself for the first time what would you think? What would you want more of? Less of? This is good to look at whether you’re single or attached. Would you prefer someone who is more available? Someone who is more financially stable? Someone in better shape? Someone who meditates daily? Well, this is a great way to see where you need to make changes on yourself.
For example, I was thinking I would just love a partner who can chop wood—so fuck it, I guess I’ll learn to chop wood in 2017 too! You can also be the partner you want to your friends. I mean, don’t make out with them passionately or anything (unless that’s how you roll!) but love your friends like you wanna be loved. Cook for them. Write cute notes. Romance your friends and yourself!
Set some goals for how you can become the best partner and self and friend.
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If you want to go deeper with this work sign up for my Holy F*ck course where we will be using creative writing and storytelling to dive deep into our habits, tendencies, hopes and dreams in love and sex in a conscious way. I also see clients one on one for six month periods of mentorship and on off coaching sessions. More info here.
Alexandra Roxo is a critically acclaimed filmmaker, writer, entrepreneur and mentor currently residing in LA. She recently co-founded Moon Club with Ruby Warrington (founder of the Numinous) and has been featured in Well + Good, Nylon, Out Magazine and more.
The numerology of 10/10 brings a double dose of good karma—if we are brave enough to use it, says Felicia Bender…Artwork: Eandaru Kusumaatmaja
In Numerology, the number 10 is a Karmic number.
Yet while the other Karmic numbers (13, 14, 16, and 19) indicate that there is a debt to be paid, the Karmic number 10 offers something different.
This number actually offers a burst of “good” karma.
And with a double dose of this energy available to us on 10/10, comes a fabulous opportunity to do some work around completing certain things in your life that need closure. To be kaput. Done. Finito.
As such, the numerology of 10/10 offers us a portal for rebirth. For here is an opportunity to identify and act upon our sense of individuality and assert our independence in a healthy and dynamic way. It is challenging us to step into our authentic and unique gifts.
For with the numerology of 10/10, we’re also offered an energetic opening that links with the valuable energies of the number 1—which are leadership, independence, individuality, creativity, and a pioneering spirit.
And so, if we are willing and ready, here is an invitation to take action to finish what is DONE in our lives, and then turn our focus and our talents to new beginnings.
This said, the numerology of 10/10 will take considerable courage and initiation for optimal results.
And as if it weren’t powerful enough on its own, this year 10/10 is happening in the number 9 Universal Year (2016 is a 9 Universal Year). So this day offers some added punch—IF you’re ready to surrender, and to let go of what is no longer serving you and opening yourself to making room to change to enter your life.
The Universal energy of the 9 has been plying all of us all year long with intense energies related to change, transformation, and letting go.
And, now that we’re readying for 2017—a 1 Universal Year—this collision of the 9 and the date 10/10 becomes super-powered.
Don’t miss out on setting the stage for stepping into the next big thing in your life.
:: TACTICS TO MAXIMIZE THE NUMEROLOGY OF 10/10 ::
Rethink your own thinking. Can you step back and see the ways in which you have perhaps been living with an outdated operating system? Working within limited beliefs and worn out memories that continue to hold you hostage in an unfulfilling or off-track life?
No more excuses. This one is self-explanatory. It’s time to take responsibility for where you find yourself right now—the good, bad, and the ugly. Step into where you are and make a plan for the change you want to see, whether it’s one small step or a monumental shift.
Lighten up. All of this change, transitional and momentum can feel unsettling and can tip into overwhelm, and a feeling of being heavy and “too much.” If this is the case, try to shift perspective and pace yourself. Find humor when you least expect it.
