Family Constellations Archives

This week, purging and clearing have been the themes of my mystical life…

I experienced an energetic breakout. Okay, this sounds like it’s gonna be about some radical consciousness shift resulting from a mind-blowing new healing technique…but actually it’s the tale of an aggressive outbreak of pimples in my mystical life. Ew. Gross. I know. But please bear with me, as these aren’t just any old pimples – I believe they are the result of an ongoing energetic detox.

Because WTF. I’ve been eating cleaner than ever since going full vegan and cutting out all alcohol over a month ago. As a result (I’m just guessing here) I’ve been sleeping like a baby, and experiencing “perfect” digestion for the first time in like forever. I’ve also been taking my supplements, letting all kinds of emotional s*** go, and feeling light of spirit and supremely optimistic about life – all the ingredients, surely, for radiant skin. And yet, not since my early teens have I seen zits like these!

It felt like time to consult facialist to the Numinati, Britta Plug, who brings a deep level of energetic healing to her sessions. My question: could this bout of extra clean living actually be the cause of my skissues (skin issues?) In a word: Yes! “We know that trapped emotional energy can cause sickness and disease, so it makes sense that we might actually see or feel it coming out,” she explained. “And if it’s really deep stuff, this could get a little gunky.”

In Ayurvedic medicine, she said, it’s also believed that the skin is the final frontier for toxins leaving the system – “once it’s showing up on the skin, chances are it’s been going through an internal process for a while” (i.e. affecting digestion, sleep, mood, etc). All of which made me feel WAY better about my current pizza face. In fact, I’ve even been able to embrace the pimples as evidence the deeper emotional clearing I’ve been doing over the past few months is working! Here are some tips Britta gave me for speeding up the process:

– Dry body brushing and Epsom salt baths – to help the lymph system clear that shiz out faster
– A Manuka honey mask – mix half a teaspoon mixed with water, spread on the skin and leave for up to an hour to speed up the healing process
– Accupuncture and massage – to keep the chi flowing, and assist the energetic detox further

I went on a healing hang date. As in, rather than do dinner or a yoga class as an excuse for a gossip with my Goddess gang, we got together to do a Family Constellation. It was my friend Alexandra’s idea. “I need to do a Constellation very soon. Venus retro has been kickin’ my butt, forcing me to really clear out and rethink! I would love to do this with you strong lovely women…” went the email. And well, how could we refuse?

You can read about what a Constellation is here, but it’s basically a form of group therapy that gets deep into your family patterns in a totally mystical way. I’ve only ever done it with strangers (not as scary as it sounds), and the results have BLOWN MY MIND. But with two women I know, who know me and elements of my story already, and who I knew I could trust implicitly with whatever came up? Next level.

Of course we bought snacks (our facilitator Marine even baked a vegan lavender cake) and caught up about the other stuff going on in our lives, and the session ended up lasting four hours. Totally recommended next time you and a gal pal are in the market for more than your average dinner date.

I finally Kondo’d my condo. I might actually be the last person on the planet to read Marie Kondo’s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, but since I’m about to move (for the fourth time in as many years), and since I <3 tidying up big time anyway (seriously where is the Virgo hiding out in my chart?), I figured it was time to just get on this bandwagon.

And I quickly realized that “magic” is the operative word in the title, plus the reason, I believe, this little book has resonated so strongly with so many gazillions of people. Yes, there have been all the practical benefits (cleaner, neater apartment + A LOT of credit to spend in my local clothing exchange), but here are a few of Marie’s more mystical life lessons:

On tidying as meditation: “The work of carefully considering each object I own to see whether it sparks joy inside me, is like conversing with myself through the medium of my possessions.”

On healing through tidying: “If you can’t feel relaxed in a clean and tidy room, try confronting your feeling of anxiety. It may cast a light on what’s really bothering you.”

On tidying as personal evolution: “To truly cherish the things that are important to you, you must first discard those that have outlived their purpose.”

On wardrobe reiki: “When we take our clothes in our hands and fold them neatly, we are, I believe, transmitting energy which has a positive effect on our clothes.”

Conclusion? Marie Kondo is a totally witchcore modern mystic. LOVE!

Can a unique form of group therapy that seeks to define your role within your family heal generations-old inherited issues? Ruby Warrington goes swimming into the energy field with Family Constellations therapy…Image: Shane Small

A few months ago, with the help of French facilitator Marine Selenee, I experienced my first Family Constellations therapy session. Held at Marine’s chic studio apartment in downtown Manhattan, there were three other women present, each of whom played a different role in my Constellation, as did I for them. Many emotions were felt, and many tears shed, and afterwards I felt a sense of release, like something generations old had been worked out of my body at a cellular level.

I was instructed not to speak about my experience for two weeks, to give my mind and body time to integrate with the deep energetic work that had been done. And so I sat with my experience and simply watched on, as every area of my existence began to assume a subtly different and more dynamic form, all thanks to a shift in perception about my family situation – and by definition, myself. If our role in our own “family constellation” is at the root of our human experience, it’s what shapes our entire reality. Right?

How does Family Constellations therapy work? Consider this. Depending on your personal belief system, we all choose our parents, choose to be born in a certain place at a certain moment in time. In doing so, we also choose the unique set of circumstances (and issues) that this configuration gifts us to work with as our karmic lesson in this lifetime.

If that’s too much of a deep dive, then think instead about the question of “nature vs. nurture.” Are we born a certain way, or do the circumstances of our upbringing shape us as we grow? Would I be a completely different person if I was born into a different family in a different time and place? Or am I simply “me,” navigating life with the tools I’ve picked up along the way?

Using Family Constellations therapy, Marine works with the latter theory, the idea being that we repeat the negative patterns we see in our parents out of “loyalty” – they’re the people who gave us life after all, our tribe. We want to be accepted, so we want to be like them. But where these patterns go against our true nature is where we get stuck, where we feel pain – and also where we’ll find the biggest assignments for our personal growth.

I defy any soul currently enjoying this human experience not to have a single issue they can’t trace back to their family (see that ancient Chinese proverb; “they f*** you up, your mom and dad”). As Marine puts it; “90 percent of your issues don’t belong to you – and you pick most of these up before the age of six.” A century of psychoanalysis and talking therapy is entrenched in this understanding, and yet Family Constellations therapy seeks to journey beyond words in search of resolutions to these fundamental glitches in our operating systems.

The key lies in performing the surgery required, the severing of our attachment to our family members’ issues, on our emotional body, before the stories our intellect tells us about who, what and why we [*insert whatever your personal debilitating hang-up is here] have a chance to get a look-in; “Once you recognise that your behaviors and beliefs are not your own, it’s possible to see your true self, your own beliefs and purpose, more clearly,” says Marine.

But how, precisely? Before you embark on a mission to meet your own Family Constellation, here’s what you Need To Know…

• Psychotherapist and former Roman Catholic priest Bert Hellinger discovered Family Constellations therapy when living with the Zulu in South Africa, where the modality was used to resolve issues within the tribe.

• A Constellation can be performed by a group or one-to-one, with a facilitator to moderate. It is the facilitator’s job to do most of the talking; participants are simply asked to notice and express how they feel as events unfold.

• The facilitator begins by asking a few questions pertaining to the issue the participant wants to address. He or she then asks the people needed to bring about a resolution to find their place (whatever position feels right in relation to each other) within “the field.”

• The field, usually the space contained within the circle of the group or the room where the Constellation is taking place, represents the energy field where all souls and all generations exist together as pure spirit.

• In a session, actual family members do not need to be present – other members of the group are called on to “perform” these roles (not nearly as awkward or potentially embarrassing as it sounds).

• This may include family members who have passed, or any unborn children who are also part of the participant’s Constellation.

• Once situated within the field, the facilitator may also ask the different “family members” to recite key phrases relating to the issue in question (without ever going into the “story” – what, why, how) – again asking people to identify the emotions connected to these statements.

• Forgiveness may be asked, and apologies offered (again via the facilitator).

• Many tears may flow.

• A resolution occurs when it becomes evident which family member owns which emotion, behaviour or belief, allowing the participant to realize their own power to simply let whatever doesn’t “belong” to them go.

To find out more about Family Constellations or book a session contact [email protected] or visit Marineselenee.com

Marine will also be hosting group sessions ($60 per person) in Brooklyn, NY, on:

July 31st (6:30pm)
August 3rd (1pm)
August 7th (6:30pm)
August 10th (11am)

Family Constellations

MY MYSTICAL LIFE: ENERGETIC BREAKOUTS, A HEALING HANG DATE, AND SOME WARDROBE REIKI

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