Haute Chocolate and some new lingerie on the path to self-love, and thank you Chelsea Does Drugs for a grown-up conversation about humans and the quest for altered states of consciousness…
:: MONDAY :: Early Valentine’s #1. So when the founder of a local fine chocolate company reaches out to ask if you’d like to sample her wares, you do not say no, despite the fact that a couple of weeks back you vowed to get off the sweet stuff “again” having got back on it in a pretty major way over the holidays. But wait! The mouthwatering treats at Haute Chocolate that arrived today are all organic,organic, vegan, and bittersweet, and billed as “virtuous hedonism.” Yay party in my mouth.
:: TUESDAY :: Early Valentine’s #2. When my friend Sophie alerted me to new lingerie site True&Co I had to check it out, since treating myself to good underwear has become an ongoing self-love practice of mine. Not least since writing my book means I barely wear “outside” clothes these days, and a nice piece of lace is like literally the only thing standing between me and all out pyjama-geddon. The most fun thing? As a new customer you get to do a quiz that helps work out what items on the site will fit you best – kind of like…brastrology! And yay, when my pieces arrived in the mail today they fit like a dream.
:: WEDNESDAY :: MUST MUST MUST watch TV alert!!! Chelsea Does Drugs. A.k.a. Chelsea Handler going to Peru to do ayahuasca as part of her new “Chelsea Does…” series for Netflix. Chelsea has always been a guilty pleasure of mine – I know she rubs some people the wrong way, but I just love her realness. Which comes across in every frame of this segment – in which she also gets high with friends at a pot-themed dinner party, smokes a joint with Willie Nelson, gets monitored by a doctor while on Adderal and then Ambien (+ vodka), and visits a shaman to try and access a non-drug induced trance state. She also interviews recovering drug addicts and experts, and if the aya scenes, which show every step of her ceremony, steal the show, honestly it was just so refreshing to see an honest and non-sensationalist discussion IN THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA about humans and drug use. How grown up! As for why Chelsea likes to access altered states? Of course I had to Google her birth chart right after – and with a Pisces Sun and Leo Moon…well, say no more.
:: THURSDAY :: Major kudos to my friend Robyn, who launched her book Go with Your Gut with a party in NYC tonight – and 9 months pregnant too! I didn’t make the event since I’ve been feeling totally wiped out this week (like the majority of people I’ve spoken to actually, what-up cosmos?!), but I’ve got my copy on order – mainly since Robyn’s theory that not only good physical health but our mental and spiritual wellbeing is directly related to our gut health is a pet subject of mine. In fact, here’s a great story we posted on this subject a while back.
:: FRIDAY :: Had a “material girl” moment interviewing J Crew president Jenna Lyons today – what a woman! I’ll post a link when my interview comes out – it was for a Red magazine in the UK – but for today, I’m still mainly obsessing over her office, which is about the size of most NYC apartments and stacked to the rafters with 25 years worth of books, pictures, trinkets and momentos (including a MAJOR Citrine crystal cluster she picked up in Marfa, TX). To me, she’s living, divinely feminine proof that you can be a real person and totally rock it in the corporate world, having risen to the top by simply doing 100% Jenna. An inspiration fo sho.
I would describe myself as empathic and creative, so in a lot of ways it was natural for me to fall into hairdressing when I was 16. It was never my first choice – I had aspirations of being a fashion journalist – but choosing to pursue it turned out to be one of the best decisions I ever made. Fourteen years later, this seemingly humble path has enabled me to fulfil some of my biggest dreams, mainly because one of the beautiful things about hairdressing is that it’s a portable trade. I can cut hair anywhere in the world, meaning I’ve been able to earn a living in the unlikeliest of places.
The last six years in particular, I have truly followed my wanderlust. Like many on a similar path, I travelled to ‘find’ myself, having experienced a strong disconnection with life in my hometown. Despite having a large group of friends, I’d never really felt as if I fully fit in or belonged, as if I was always holding part of myself back. So I went to work in Ibiza for the summer, in search of adventure and hoping to break free from the things I thought were holding me back. I then bought a round the world ticket to the Southern Hemisphere for a winter in Asia and Australia, bringing me back to Ibiza, and chasing the dream of a never-ending summer.
On my travels I met many kindred spirits, and collected experiences and memories like treasure. Island hopping and hitchhiking around Hawaii, sleeping under the stars in Australia, and making friends with liberated souls as we took sanctuary from the dust storms on the Playa at Burning Man. Living like this, I could be who I wanted without any attachment to my past. I was free from old thought processes that had held me back, and I found friends who seemed to be on a similar path, all in search of ‘something more’. My loved ones back home all seemed to want different things in life to me, and I think a lot of my anxieties came from trying to fit in.
But beyond the hedonism, I never felt any closer to finding myself. No matter how far I travelled or how long I stayed away, my shadow self was never far behind, and I realised I was trying to run away from rather than towards my true self. My epiphany came when I was recovering from a break up that had seemed to consume me. The experience led me to turn inward, and I realised that I needed learn to be happy in myself, wherever I was in the world. Home or away.
People would describe me as bubbly and outgoing, but I have actually suffered from anxiety and depression most of my adult life. Until I connected with my spiritual path, that is. When I went to see my doctor about my epiphany (a.k.a break down) it was recommended I go on antidepressants. Of course, this didn’t resonate with me, and so began my mission to heal myself holistically. It began with yoga, and practising meditation regularly, finding tiny glimpses of inner peace that over time became a lasting sense of calm and clarity.
In my meditations, animals kept showing up for me, regularly enough that I began looking up the meanings of these beasts. A Wolf appeared most frequently in my visions, the message being that I was in the process of spiritual development, and developing my self-esteem and inner knowing. The Wolf was there (and still is today) to remind me that I was being protected. I discovered that the animals were my spirit guides, and their messages were so relevant that I couldn’t ignore their calling. So I began using these messages to guide me on my healing path – my first indication that I had an affinity with Shamanism.
The deeper into my spiritual journey I went, I experienced a conflict between my work commitments and my spiritual life. I was eager to learn more about healing, which manifested in a desire to help others with what I was learning, but I also needed to support myself financially. In the end, I decided to take the plunge and booked a two-month sabbatical from the salon I was working in at the time and travel to Bali. Being half Indonesian, it was one pilgrimage that I had always wanted to take. Now it was really happening, and for the right reasons.
I began to research my trip, my main priority to find a way to fully immerse myself in my spiritual development. I looked up retreats, workshops, yoga centres and healers, and emailed different leads to find out what my options were. A few websites caught my eye, but after quite a few unanswered enquiries, the search engines kept drawing me back to a Shaman called White Star. I took this as another sign, and connected with her on email – which resulted in her offering me a place on her apprenticeship programme. I was going to be a Shaman’s apprentice!
I arrived in Bali two months later, and noticed that my energy instantly felt lighter, as if some kind of a shift had already occurred in me. I spent my first few days exploring my new surroundings, acquainting myself with the local customs, and trying to prepare myself for my first meeting with White Star. But how do you prepare to meet a Shaman? And one who is going to teach you her secrets?
When we finally did meet, I was full of excitement and anticipation. I had a preconceived idea that my new teacher would have an air of authority about her but when I met White Star, I was in awe. With all of her power and wisdom she is a humble woman with an unassuming presence. But it was also as if she had an ethereal radiance about her. I remember thinking she was at least 10 years younger than what she said she was – apparently there’s a healer in Bali who specialises in ‘spiritual Botox’, but I also think she’s living proof that living magically keeps you younger.
I had booked 40 hours of one-to-one lessons with White Star that were stretched out over 4 weeks, and I felt so blessed to have the time to immerse myself so deeply in my new education. I had expected to pay up front, but she was trusting and happy for me to pay cash as we went along. Our lessons took place at her home in the jungle, and were filled with practical experiences of Shamanic healing techniques, spiritual development exercises, meditations, wisdom and musings. White Star also taught me how to expand my consciousness using Shamanic journeying to tune into the spirit realms and earth elements.
Most magically of all, the more time I spent with White Star, I found that not only was I learning how to heal others, I was healing myself. I gained new insights into my past, which helped me make sense of what I always thought had been holding me back. I believe you need to learn how to understand your past and its purpose so that you can fully release it, allow you to move forward and heal. I gained a new sense of confidence and purpose, and felt myself surrendered to being my authentic self, releasing my attachment to needing to fit in.
Every day, I would walk past waterfalls on my way to my meetings with White Star, feeling that I needed to pinch myself, to check it wasn’t all a dream. It was as if my soul had found its home, and that all the life choices I’d made (including the ones I thought I regretted) had brought me here. This was real.
In my Bali bubble, it felt so natural be fully conscious in the present moment. All my anxieties dissipated, as I learned to simply go with the flow. Time expanded as I took each moment as it came, learning to really trust my intuition. Synchronicities were a regular occurrence in my Bali life, because I took time to notice them. I felt I was constantly surrounded by magic.
Shamanism teaches us that there is a spiritual component in everything; that everything around us has a spirit, and that everything is connected. Flowers, trees, water, stones, animals, and humans. A Shaman walks the path between the seen and the unseen worlds, using altered states of consciousness to connect to what can’t be seen in our ordinary reality.
When we are disconnected from spirit, we fall out of alignment with our highest good. We experience states of negativity which can lead to anxiety, depression and other emotional and physical symptoms of imbalance. With Spiritual healing and Shamanic medicine, we are able to reconnect with our highest self, or soul, bringing us back into balance. Feeling calmer and happier, life becomes easy again. When we are spiritually aligned, we feel are able live from the heart; detaching from our ego, we are confident to follow our life’s purpose. Feeling empowered, there is no room for fear.
I returned from my Bali trip a little over a year ago, with none of the same ‘homecoming anxieties’ I used to feel, because I brought my Bali bubble home with me. Since then, my Shamanic alter ego Wolf Sister has been born, and I have been building my own healing practice, alongside working as a hairdresser. And the two actually go hand-in-hand.
When I am working with my hairdressing clients, I enable them to feel better about themselves on an external level. I still enjoy my work at the salon, but my true passion is to help people heal on a Soul level, helping them empower themselves. I feel that I’m able to do this more effectively through Spiritual healing than I am by styling hair, but still I infuse my Shamanic teachings into every moment of my ‘everyday’ life. Knowing always that my Bali bubble is there to be tuned into when I need it.
Where has your healing journey taken you? Connect with us and share your story on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.
Tamara is an Intuitive healer, Supernatural Potion Maker, Crystal enthusiast and Tarot reader. Find out more at Wolfsister.com
Satya Jewelry is the ultimate high vibe jewelry line; it’s founder, Satya Scainetti, is the ultimate inspiration when it comes to working with your dharma…
Satya Scainetti at home in Manhattan
“The idea of stepping away from life to find all the answers…like Jesus and Buddha found enlightenment when they quit? There’s a lot to that…”
Satya Scainetti, a born-and-bred New Yorker, was gifted her spiritual name on graduating a 30-day yoga teacher training in 2000. Disillusioned with her career in social work, she found herself at a crossroads; gifted with a talent for reiki, “I was like, okay God, if this is what you want from me I’m good to go, but I’ve also got to make money…”
And so, perhaps the yoga training would lead to a bone fide practise as a healer. But on that same graduation night she also had a prophetic dream. In it, she learned that it was her dharma to create a line of spiritual jewelry also named Satya, meaning “all truth,” so she could then “donate money to children all around the world.” Within weeks, Satya Jewelry was born, and over the past decade has given over $1 million to countless children’s charities.
I first encountered Satya’s line at NYC’s Golden Bridge yoga studio (she was one of the original investors in the kunadlini institution), and was pretty much blown away by the downright numinosity of it all! Super chic pieces that wouldn’t look out of place in the pages of Vogue, but that also carried a deeply spiritual message.
“My whole intention is for people to find a piece that speaks to them – be it a symbol, or a healing stone they intuitively know they need. Which is mind-blowing, because we do know…I encourage my customers to trust that intuition, that knowingness. If you’re drawn to something, there’s a reason.”
The notion of dharma, life purpose that comes from a desire to be of service, is emerging all around as the resounding theme for 2015, and Satya’s story embodies this message.
“The awakening I had when this business took off was that that you can have everything – just make sure the intention is for the good of all. Then the Universe will open every door needed to make your dreams come true!” The key, then, is to think big. “We limit ourselves all the time. We say, ‘THIS is my goal, if I get THERE it will be enough,’ but we need to be open to what the Universe actually has in store for us.”
Satya, you are an inspiration among women! Read on for how this Material Girl totally rocks her Mystical World…
:: MA T E R I A L G I R L ::
MY LABEL I’m a clothes fiend. I love Club Monaco, BCBG, and I’m a big Zara fan. I have a tonne of DVF’s dresses. Max Mara. I love Donna Karan. Handbags? Marc Jacobs, hands down.
MY SHOES You put a pair of heels on, everything changes – I love what it does to my body, and it gives me confidence! My favorites are Jimmy Choo and Christian Louboutin. I actually met him in Paris. I was there with a friend who went to school with him, and bought my first pair in the store on the Rue du Faubourg Saint-Honoré. They were orgasmically beautiful. That same night we end up bumping into him and going for tea! I was like, do we get the friends and family discount now?
MY JEWELRY I’m a mala fiend because I believe in the power of the mala. I was wearing my black onyx mala around the time my kids were born, twin boys. Black onyx is the stone of endurance, and I was so drawn to it! It’s all I wore for two years. Starting the business I wore all green – which is the heart chakra – because it was all coming from there. I also buy a lot of ornate Indian jewelry, but it’s all at home in my box.
MY PAMPERING I’m a Lumiere girl, I spend more money on that cream than I want to but I’m addicted! I must have a pedicure, even in the winter, every ten days, and I get a massage every week from David at Think Pink Nails in the West Village. I call him my Sumo wrestler. He does the energy work, the stones, and he’s so strong that one hour just puts it all back into place.
MY FOOD I’m a vegetarian…but I’m also Italian, so I love pasta! Yoga has helped me eat more mindfully, so I know when to stop – but at the same time I’ll totally binge on something like pizza when I want it. Italians are brought up that food is love, and I’m always telling my kids; ‘I put a little extra love and kisses in your dinner tonight, do you taste it?’
MY HOME My home is beautiful. Everything is very zen, I have an amazing garden with Buddhas and a sun-room with a beautiful canopy bed. I’m into cosy homes, I’ve got one of those couches that puts people to sleep. For me, home is where I can take a breath and feel relaxed, where I can really not be ‘on’ – because I’m on a lot.
MY AWAKENING Everybody sleeps in my bed right now, the dogs, the kids…it’s a king, thank god, but it’s very crowded because they’re getting big! And before we get out of bed we start the day with gratitude, and name two things we’re grateful for – it’s so important to start the day that way, because from that place everything just gets better.
MY SIGN I’m a Capricorn – strong, and one of the most devoted friends you’ll ever have. Truly, if you have me as a friend, you are blessed. I am very good at business, but I’m also ruled by the heart. I see astrology as a guide. I don’t have a therapist, but I do have an astrologer – when you’re aware of what’s happening in your chart, you can start being directed with where you put your energy. I have a great guy called David, who helped with the launch of this company. It was plotted down to the day.
MY MANTRA I have so many! But for right now? I feel like I’m at an exciting point of change, so it’s simple: ‘help me be open to what’s next.’
MY HEALER God! He’s it. I’m a believer.
MY READING I’m a big fan of Thich Nhat Hanh. His teachings are so user friendly for the real world, and simply show how to incorporate more happiness in your life. His book on relationships, Teachings on Love, lays out such a beautiful way to live your life, and if I could pick one book to start you on a new journey that would be it.
MY MISSION Right now it’s to build my brand to a place where I can really make a huge difference in the world. The $1m-plus we’ve given already is a drop in the ocean of what I want to do, so the next 13 years I’ll be amping up the work I do with my foundation, keeping the focus on helping children. The next generations will be the ones to make a difference in the world, and I’m going to help them do that.
MY TRANSFORMATION My transformation is through my practise of meditation and yoga, and using it to really tap into God. Whatever you want to call it, I mean that knowingness that’s inside all of us.
What does “success” mean for me? It’s a question that’s been circling my very being since last summer when I interviewed Arianna Huffington about The Third Metric – her campaign to encourage us all to consider “success” beyond the relentless pursuit of money, accolades and power. And this week, I met a woman who has helped put into words the journey I’ve found myself on.
Melissa Curry is an Irish jewellery designer whose SUCCESS collection features a motivational amulet, designed to be gifted to the woman in your life you want to encourage to be the best she can be. A delicate rose-gold bracelet or necklace features an 18 carat gold bar inscribed with the word “Success.” And if, “the bar represents our inner strength, success can mean…everything,” she told me.
For Curry, whose personal journey has taken her from glittering career in Paris to destitute, single-mother of one, meaning some radical shifts in her own perception of success over the past decade; “it’s not about external power, and, for a woman, it’s certainly not about competing with men. It’s about being you, knowing what makes you tick, what makes your heart work, what makes your mind work, and embodying that.”
YES. Success for me is simply about being true to being me. At work, in my relationships and in my physical body. And this is when I realized that so much of what we cover on The Numinous is about tapping into exactly that.
From learning how to read and work with what the Astro Twins call your “factory settings” in your own astrological chart, to developing your intuition or “psychic powers” or embarking on a transcendental juice fast, isn’t so much of modern new age (what I like to call “now age”) thinking, about seeking to develop a more intimate and comfortable understanding of who we really are on the inside – and, therefore, what we really want?
For me, stepping off the media merry-go-round and leaving a high-profile magazine job to launch my own Internet project last year was the beginning of this journey. Creating something from my heart, working in my own environment, to my own hours and with the people of my own choosing has made me feel successful in ways that far eclipse the glamour, status and influence of my old life.
Of course, the fact that I can also structure my day to include a guided meditation to meet my spirit power animal is by no means going to tick the success box for everybody – but that’s the whole point. There is no one-size-fits-all definition of success.
And the fact I get emails every week thanking me for creating The Numinous is the icing on the cake. It’s also an illustration of how stepping into a definition of success that means something to me personally, I find myself giving something back and having a positive impact on the world around me almost by default.
My friend Jennifer Kass, a happiness coach and self-described “love pioneer” put a brilliant post up on Facebook the other day. In it, she described “The 3 Stages of Human Evolution (from my perspective, of course),” with step one, “Sleeping,” defined as; “Being stuck in a job and/or relationship that is toxic, causing physical mental and emotional ailments, denial, addiction, living in fear, anxiety, suffering, doubt, lack and limitation.”
Step two, “Waking up,” involves using all the Numinous tools – “meditation, self-love, healing, a return to wholeness, freedom, self-knowledge, joy” – to engender step three – “Action.” And here’s where the rubber really meets the road; “We take full responsibility for choices that will change our lives, and we let go of what is no longer serving us by taking courageous action.”
Further, she argues, “Now that we know who we are and what we’re here for, we go out into the world, sharing the gifts and passions we came here to, which in turn perfectly align with ending suffering on the planet in various forms.” A lofty ambition, maybe, but why not? Human suffering – and what alleviates it – comes in many forms too.
I’m not a big one for a motivational quote (quality over quantity, people), but I saw this, from Howard Thurman, at a Lululemon event recently; “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” And knowing your SELF – that is, being in direct conversation with the spirit being piloting your human form on a daily basis – is the only way to answer that question too.
Each piece in Melissa Curry’s collection comes with a little card, where you can write your definition of success. So what does it mean to you?
