Material Girl Mystical World Archives - Page 29 of 40

HOLY F*CK: HOLDING SPACE FOR MY SHADOW SELF

Posted on September 29, 2016November 4, 2018 by Alexandra Roxo

“Just like our sexual self don’t have much space to roam in this world, neither does our shadow self…” says Alexandra Roxo.

Which is a mask, which is a shadow, and which is my truth?] — *Which is a mask, which is a shadow, and which is my truth?*

Last week in my Holy F*ck salon I felt a heaviness as we gathered on the call, and so I asked: “How many of us are in pain today?” To which everyone replied: “Me.” Some quietly, some more boldly. We were about to do a round of storytelling around transcendental orgasms, but instead I decided: “Fuck talking orgasms today. Let’s talk shame. Sorrow. Rage.’”

I myself was in the deep throes of having let my shadow out to speak her voice at Burning Man, having been silenced for months. I’d literally called on my WHOLE healing team to help me process the experience. Coach Perri Gorman. Intuitive wizard Luke Simon. Michael Ventura, who’s been working with me on this for three years! And a psychologist I met at Burning Man, Justin Hartery. Plus all my besties. LIKE WHOA IT TAKES A VILLAGE, and I’m so grateful I have help when I need it.

Somewhere during Eclipse season, at the Temple on the “playa”, some old wounds had gotten a fresh surface scrape. As a result I was oozing blood onto everything in my life. And as my wounds and the wounds of all the ladies of the salon were given a voice on that call, I realized—just like our sexual selves don’t have much space to roam in this world, neither do our shadow selves. But when they come knocking we have to answer.

We put on happy faces left and right and keep our shadow tucked away. We don’t want to “be a downer” at a party. So we tuck those feelings away. They get judged, while the “positive” feelings get center stage. Sometimes these are the shadow itself behind a clever mask, and sometimes the positive feeling is holding its hand over the “negative” one, creating a carefully curated dialogue.

“Who, me? No! I’m not insanely horny today! I’m great! Been meditating and doing Bikram!” Or….”I’m fine! I’m not grieving the fact my dad forgot my birthday for the 18th year in a row. I’m a grown up. I should be over it by now, right?”

We walk around as if “doing okay” and “keeping it together” are badges that will earn us Love and Life Merits. We live by “shoulds.” I “should” be grateful. I ‘should” be strong (p.s. I have eliminated SHOULD from my vocab and I challenge you to do the same).

One shadow that surfaced in the salon was the overwhelming shame of being single. Of showing up to weddings and dinner parties alone. Of having people ask you, “Are you seeing anyone?” before asking about your work, your passions, your friends.

Another that floated into our call was about being in your 30’s and having your parents still supporting you. Many women I love deeply are supported by their families as adults, and since society says this is wrong, it creates yet more shame. When in truth their tribe is caring for them.

On the flip-side, another of my own shadows has been wearing the “Independent Woman” costume (ahem armor) that serves me so well at times, but had become hard to pull off, creating a tough barrier to deeper connections and vulnerability’—until it got ripped off at Burning Man that is.

As we gave these feelings a voice, they were like orphaned children being held tightly for the first time in a long time. How beautiful it was to each other say: “I pretend it’s okay. But I’m in pain.” As we each cried, the rest of us just listened. And I got to thinking…

What if we did this at dinner parties? What if we could eschew some of the socialization that keeps us separate and lonely by keeping these feelings—our truths—hidden away? And what if when I said: “I just feel ugly today”—instead of you replying, “Girl, you’re beautiful!” you just honored my feeling?

What if we just held space for that feeling like two wild witches on a Full Moon in the woods, and watched her fly around the room until she disappeared out the window and into the stars to be at home with all the other parts of our souls? And then we ate spaghetti with marinara sauce until it made our lips red, and talked about where we want to travel before we die and danced to Bowie.

*Dancing with my shadows at Burning Man*

How about we reclaim old rituals for honoring the shadows together, and make some new ones of our own? How about I just listen as you speak every fear to me…and I don’t try to fix them. I don’t offer you a solution. I don’t tell you “Everything is going to be okay.” I just hear you and see you and witness you and hold you.

After all, we came here to be wild. We came to make “mistakes.” We came to try things and fail. We came to let our hearts be smashed to bits and to carefully sew them back together. We came for glory. And we came for failure.

They tell us to keep it neat and pretty. To “be the light.” But your shadow is your asset. When you hide her away you teeter along as a half version of yourself, dragging a corpse of old, half-acknowledged feelings around. And so next time shame or grief comes calling, answer her. Make her a temple. Throw her a party. Give her center stage for once.

Will the shadow start running the ship? Most likely not. But if this fear exists, then create a container for these feelings. If you know rage could cause chaos, then take her moshing at a concert. Or give her a punching bag at a boxing gym.

In my Holy F*ck salon that day, I made a pledge to my group and we made a pledge to ourselves:

“When you cry I promise not to comfort you. I promise not to usher away your feelings with my ideas of what’s “right” and “wrong.” When you scream, I promise not to shush you and tell you it’s going to be okay. I’ll admit I don’t know if it will be, but I’ll listen and stand tall with you, and be by your side.”

I pledge this to you now and welcome you to share this with the people you call tribe.

This column is dedicated to those Wild Women and Men who are willing to go there with me and grieve and mourn and rage and laugh and cry and dream with me. Who don’t shut me out when things get ugly, and who aren’t afraid to get down and dirty in the name of growth and change. You know who you are.

Alexandra Roxo is a Spiritual + Creative Mentor, Writer, and Filmmaker living in LA. Find out more on alexandraroxo.com and instagram.com/alexandraroxo/

MY MYSTICAL LIFE: AN INVITATION TO CHOOSE PEACE, EVERY DAY

Posted on September 23, 2016November 3, 2018 by Ruby Warrington

Our #TuneInPeaceOut initiative is an invitation to choose peace, every day and in every way…

:: MONDAY ::
Got to see Deepak “the don” Chopra speak live for the first time, at the launch of his Radical Beauty book with nutritionist Kimberly Snyder. TOTALLY get why he is who he is. The charisma! The effortless way with a deeply spiritual insight! A fave takeaway were his quotes about our relationship to our bodies: “Your body is an activity, not a thing. It’s not a sculpture it’s a river.” And how, since our cells are in a continual process of rejuvenation: “I’ve had this jacket longer than the body I’m wearing today.”

:: TUESDAY ::
Another day, another book about feeding our body right with Nicole Centeno’s Soup Cleanse Cookbook. Nicole is the founder of Splendid Spoon, one of our sponsors at Club SÖDA NYC, and she’s all about the healing power of soup. As Nicole tells it, souping changed her life (a low-calorie way to stay fuller for longer, the mindfulness of making soup, AND a totally practical way to cook and eat big batches of seasonal veg). All I really need to know is, my body just sort of gives me a big, cozy hug from the inside just looking at some of her recipes—which feels like an intuitive “yes” to a lot more souping this fall to me.

Juquille, Eddie, Jaytaun, Tyrell and Raheem of the Urban Yogis choose peace ruby warrington The Numinous #tuneinpeaceout — *With Juquille, Eddie, Jaytaun, Tyrell and Raheem of the Urban Yogis, and Erica and Prince of Life Camp.*

:: WEDNESDAY :: (Lots to say here, you might want to go make a cup of tea first…)
So roughly three weeks ago, I had the idea for #TuneInPeaceOut—an initiative to celebrate the UN’s International Day of Peace. This following some work I did with my coach Cherie Healey, when I was thinking about the big, underlying message of The Numinous. “If I gave you the loudest megaphone in the world, and put you on top of the highest mountain, what would you say to the world?” she asked. The words came immediately: “Can everybody just stop fighting. We’re all human. We all have the same needs, and the same fears. Please can we remember that we’re here to help each other work it out?”

Because essentially (besides me just being a massive pacifist), all the practices, philosophies, and ways of healing that we cover on The Numinous are about forging a deeper connection to our true nature—and therefore a deeper sense of connection to ourselves, and to each other. Two things I believe are fundamental to any conversation about creating more peace in our (inner and outer) world. This since a) connection to self is what fosters the resilience needed to respond to life’s trials in a calm, non-reactive way; and b) it becomes pretty much impossible to want to harm somebody once you recognize that we are all part of one big human family!

And then “Summer 2016” happened. Week after week we were slammed with reminders of the rampant divisiveness, hatred and violence in our world right now, and often stemming from a place of separation, of “us” v. “them.” Which is not exactly anything new. Bombings, shootings, rape, hate crimes, and other acts of terrorism are happening all over the world, every day. But what struck me was the emotional charge in the way we responded to the events of this summer. How personally we all took each heart-wrenching episode of violence and injustice.

I think this is because we’ve reached a tipping point in how we consume our news. It used to be that we first heard of such inhumane acts as mass shootings and racist police brutality from people in suits, reading from scripts, in newsrooms far away. Now, this information first reaches us via our social media feeds—the same place we connect with our family and friends, and share our own lives with those we love. As a result, it has become impossible not to empathize with the people being violated against as we would our own brothers and sisters, parents, friends, and colleagues. The veil of separation dissolves…and we are reminded that we are all part of one big human family.

And with this, comes the remembrance that it is all of our responsibility to look out for one another. To speak up. Literally. Like, “WTF, that’s not how we do things in THIS family!!” No matter how scary, or how uncomfortable this might feel. And to take whatever (non-violent!) action we can to change up the status quo.

The above is pretty much how I introduced my event in NYC for #TuneInPeaceOut, which ended up being one of 20 or so IRL gatherings held by the Numinous tribe globally. Earlier in the day I also hosted a live webinar with Bri Luna from The Hoodwitch and my dear friend and collaborator Alexandra Roxo (you can listen to the recording here), in which we spelled out what this initiative is really all about—empowering all of us to use our voice and take action to choose peace, and help create more peaceful communities from the ground up.

After all, as a friend in the UK pointed out on one of my posts about #TuneInPeaceOut, since it was inaugurated in 1981, it would not appear that the UN’s International Day of Peace has actually done much to end—or even lessen—violence. Since September 21 was subsequently declared a day of of ceasefire and non-violence in 2001, US military spending has increased dramatically—rising from under $400 billion to almost $800 billion in 2011 (there has been a slight drop during Obama’s presidency, but spending is projected to increase again in 2017). I see this as yet another reminder that it is actually on YOU AND ME to demand a different way of resolving conflict. That the power, truly, must be claimed by the people.

This message is why I partnered with the amazing Urban Yogis for my event tonight, since here are some people who are walking the freaking talk. Based in Jamaica, Queens, a neighborhood where violent street crime fueled by prejudice and lack of opportunity is a way of life, the courageous and progressive human beings behind this initiative are bringing the tools of yoga and meditation into their local community. The results? Less reactivity. Less violence. More listening. Increased feelings of self-worth, leading to more empowered and empowering lifestyle choices.

And, most importantly, the slow chipping away of stereotypes (about the “kind of people” who do yoga, for example—or who perpetrate violent crimes) that are the sick, Monsanto seed of so much separation, fear, and hate.

“Real change needs all year round effort, not just a day,” my friend noted. And I could not agree more. Which is why it is my sincere hope that the conversations sparked by #TuneInPeaceOut will continue today, tomorrow, and every day going forward. That we will continue to choose peace every step of the way. On our webinar, we asked people to share what this looked like in their lives, and what they do to bring more peace to their communities, so we could all be inspired by each others efforts. I’ve created a post with the transcript from our chat. Check it out here—and add your feedback in the comments, so we can keep the conversation alive.

:: THURSDAY ::
Pulled the above card in a mini meeting oracle deck reading with my girl Lisa Barner. Thanks for listening, angels.

:: FRIDAY ::
And all that said, with the Moon in Cancer today, sign of nurture and self-care, I shall be mainly tuning in…and peace’ing out.

REMEMBERING THE WISDOM OF WILDNESS

Posted on September 20, 2016November 5, 2018 by Darren Austin Hall

Re-connect to the wisdom of wilderness, and perhaps our planet will save US, says Darren Austin Hall…Artwork: Stéphane Recoupé

“To be whole. To be complete. Wildness reminds us what it means to be human, what we are connected to rather than what we are separate from.” — Terry Tempest Williams

The worst kind of loss is one you’re not even aware of. The loss of the wild and our allied wildness is one such loss, haunting us in a multitude of inner-howlings and muffled cries; deep, psychic pains and distant, all-engulfing yearnings.

We may taste it in the devastating awe of a sublime valley of meandering meadows and lakes surrounded by towering mountains. Or else in the skin-crawling terror that some city slickers can experience in the dark woods. We get little nudges of it, too, when we boldly take risks, calling upon unknown resources. In the ecstatic place when limits are transcended and we witness how much more powerful we are than we believed.

And we also find it in the rebellious streak that smirks at authority figures, sometimes playfully, sometimes out of a sheer desire to transgress any kind of ‘taming’ of our primal being, as if it were a grave betrayal. The story of our wildness—what it is, what happened to it and what to do with it now—is old and complicated, but it’s one worth remembering, for it harkens back to the most ancient wounds that usurp us all.

Our natural world, horrendously abused, is now in a state so perilous our very survival as a species is threatened. This is an example of just how deep the wound of separating from our wildness goes. At the heart of perhaps one of the longest and most insane of wars in our story as a species, it is also one we are largely ignorant of: the war against both nature and the wilds of our own human nature.

I realized this returning to Toronto after a recent vision quest in Manitoba, and realizing what we’ve lost in choosing to pave over Her wild, ragged skin; to relegate Her rawness to sanitized city parks; to drown out the peaceful pulse of Her wilderness with the perpetual motion of the traffic and busyness that charge our cities with a certain kind of restless madness.

Moreover, how we have become cut off from something so vital and necessary; something that keeps us in constant alignment with what is true and good, on a path of virtue, and away from the suffering that modern culture wreaks upon us by way of social conditioning.

But all it takes to remember is to acknowledge the inherent wisdom that awakens within us when we’re in the wild, like a silent soul-switch.

In any moment of heartache, when you’ve felt called to take a walk in park or, better yet, hike in a forest, didn’t you experience an almost immediate peace-of-mind? And perhaps a subsequent yet even more powerful cascade of wise insights, resolve, and answers? In my one-on-one healing practice, I often send people besieged by turmoil to the park to sit beneath a tree, to ground into the earth and simply ask questions. I counsel them to enter a state of meditative receptivity and to wait to see what happens. It never fails.

One incredulous friend later admitted she thought it was some ‘hippy bullshit’—but that within minutes of sitting, she found extraordinary insights. On this note, one ancient name for Goddess Earth is Sophia, meaning ‘wisdom’—also at the root of the word philosophy: philo (love) of sophy (wisdom). Or Sophia, the Earth Goddess, whose quality is wisdom.

I believe that when we encounter any kind of wilderness, even in a city park, an extraordinary resonance takes place between it and the wilderness buried deep in us. Suddenly, stagnant emotions, thoughts and experiences find flow because what is wild is always in flow, cannot be tamed nor contained. To take a hit of this means an immediate sense of liberation.

It’s a feeling we experience as teenagers: as our hormones thrust our bodies into adulthood, and we feel the unhinged energies of our being expanding. In traditional cultures, these were times to take the boys and girls into the wild to teach them how to navigate these new energies, so that their wildness could be channeled, and not devour them in arrogant hubris and inflated egos vulnerable to narcissism.

Nowadays, kids do drugs, and partake in other risky activities to test their mettle against these dynamic evolutions. All too often, it leads to disaster—disasters we often survive (we are sturdy folk). But some are are never able to escape this deep yearning for more aliveness, chasing the sensation for the rest of their lives in whirlwinds of drug and alcohol abuse.

For the great call of the wilderness is forever present.

If we choose, we can learn to ride the stallion of our desires using the tools of our spiritual practice, while fostering a quiet reverence for the wild, knowing that there will always be a part of us that lies beyond our control. For if we don’t figure out how to live in harmony with our wildness, we’re doomed. Something we’re reckoning with as a species right now.

And so I invite you to rediscover the wild in you and to find ways to connect more deeply and even sacredly to the wilds of the world.

Perhaps this means a month-long discipline of mini-vision questing a la urban shamanism, going to the nearby park every morning to sit in gratitude and receptivity for potential flumes of wisdom.
Perhaps this means shaking for twenty minutes a day and letting the voice vent into roars, yells and spontaneous songs.
Perhaps it means following our instincts more, our gut-truths, and heart-wombing wisdom; giving head to our heart.

Whatever your way of connecting to the wisdom of wildness, know that you are healing the great wound between ourselves and the Earth, a wound that has pushed us to the harrowing brink. Know that these small acts are in service of a greater movement that is sweeping through our species as we begin to remember a deeply eternal love for Earth, and for the wild.

In which we might just find the way to live one of the most splendorous truths imaginable; we might find the way to let the world save us.

Discover more about Darren Austin Hall and his work at Darrenaustinhall.com

10 WAYS TO CLEAR YOUR THROAT CHAKRA

Posted on September 14, 2016November 4, 2018 by Emma Whitehair

Heal the instrument of your voice to not only speak but also live in your truth, says Emma Whitehair… Artwork: Dr Steve Hinkey

The throat is a physical bridge between our body and mind, while its chakra governs our communication and search for truth. It’s the most powerful but also the most vulnerable of all seven chakras, and with so many of us struggling express our true needs, a blocked throat chakra is more common than a cold these days (even if the “symptoms” could feel the same).

If this chakra does not have a healthy flow, not only will your relationships with others be difficult but you will not be receiving clear guidance from your intuition. On the other hand, however, once beautifully balanced, negative experiences are transformed into wisdom and ultimately you are open to a higher level of consciousness.

My business is PR and writing, and no one who knows me would think I had any blocks in the area of communication. However, what can’t be seen is that I’ve had a pretty much permanent, choked up feeling for, I don’t know, months, years…lifetimes! It’s hard to tell as I only properly noticed it early this year, when I started to really get tuned in to Self.

At its most intense, it’s an energetic constriction like a noose around my neck, but mostly it’s a lump in my throat, like I’m on the brink of tears—even when there’s no apparent reason for it.

After googling ‘throat cancer’ and ‘thyroid problems’ then giving myself the all-clear (with a deep sense of relief!), I found myself drawn to a chakra workshop with James French advertised at the Yoga Loft in London—I was ready to find out if this throat funk was a spiritual malady.

On this two-day course, I discovered that Vishuddha (the Sanskrit name for the throat chakra) has a developmental age of 7 to12. Probably no coincidence that this was when my parents divorced and I was packed off to a strange boarding school. I also learnt that the corresponding sense of this fifth chakra is hearing, giving me the excuse I was looking for to connect with sound healing practitioner, Ashera Hart, who I had met a few days before.

Ashera had hosted an incredibly powerful sonic breath + gong bath event, that had been listed by The Numinous, which had helped open my throat and started to stir things up in that area. Wondering if my unbalanced Vishuddha could be realigned further with the power of sound, I made the most of the opportunity to have a one-to-one session with Ashera in my home, while she was in London (rather than her usual base of Bali).

After this session, I met up with my healer, psychotherapist Fiona Arrigo to help me process what my body had shown me. She explained that traumas to the throat chakra are often connected to early childhood issues; when, if we experience emotional pain, we encounter separation. She commented that my adult vocal personality—which “on the surface is ballsy, clear and wise” is in juxtaposition to the inner child—who swallowed down her tears, and never expressed how she felt.

I asked by subconscious to say out loud the stories I may have been holding onto, and one resonated deeply: “no one is taking care of me…I’m alone.” And with that tears of relief fell down my cheeks. It all suddenly made sense—that part of me, the child, who had swallowed her sadness, was physically manifested like a bitter pill, stuck in my throat for over 30 years.

Fiona reminded me “to meet the understanding that we ARE alone in this life.” She also explained that the feeling I encountered during the sound healing, of being held, was the Universal holding, and in that moment, I had flipped my scratched record. Rather than archived pain, I had experienced something way more profound—a spiritual embrace so meaningful it had helped heal that source fracture.

My journey with this continues. Read on for 10 STEPS I’ve investigated to help with starting to CLEAR YOUR THROAT CHAKRA.

:: STEP BACK IN TIME ::
What unexpressed emotion or story are you holding on to? Once that’s understood, then it’s important to try and change the record, in order to free yourself. Byron Katie’s The Work might do it for you. Alternatively, perhaps you story is more complex—could it be from a pre-verbal era, or another life?

I spoke to Sue Minns, who’s book ‘Bodies & Souls’ touches on the throat chakra (as well as the others) and she explained the following to me:

“Chakras are like micro-chips of soul information that are links to our past experiences on earth, and connection to where we came from. The throat chakra, if holding negative memories, will become a bottleneck, a block to our true Self expression. Many of us (especially as women) have had gruesome deaths as a result of speaking out, spreading the word, saying the spells.

The throat is the chakra of secrets and lies, whispers and screams—and of speaking your truth without fear. A historical ‘block’ will obstruct cosmic, divine energy coming through the Crown and Third Eye to reach the Heart. It will short circuit at the throat if it cannot pass through. The central column (Sushumna) needs to be an open conduit between heaven and earth so that we can remember both our source and our purpose on this earth.”

:: SOUL MANTRA ::
“The 1st Law of Healing—all disease is inhibited Soul Life. The job of the healer is to lift the downcast eyes upward unto the Soul, and the Soul does the work” – Dr Steve Hinkey

So how do we allow the soul to work its magic? Mantras should allow the soul to take position naturally and Steve gave me these to use to unblock the throat chakra:

Because ‘I am…’ is so powerful, and soul infusion the ultimate achievement: “I am the soul infused throat”.

To use if starting to experience, or resist tension in the throat: “I am wanting to know my soul’s process, as it expresses itself through my throat chakra”

As no-one evolves without loving what they have, including dis-ease, this as a good all-rounder:

“I love myself as I am”

:: SOUND HEALING ::
Ashera Hart hosts The Frequency Shift solfeggio journeys, which encourage a Theta brainwave state, through healing vibrations, helping you access intuition, transform limiting beliefs and most especially—clear energy blockages.

I attended one of her ‘Sonic Immersion’ events (at Kind Yoga in London) which was a blissfully relaxing 90-minute experience. With the Zobet (solfeggio) healing frequencies along with sounds of the ocean, the cosmos and nature, Ashera accompanied this with an ethereal vocal invocation, tuning forks, chimes, shamanic drum and percussion.

We were told we may have dreams that night, that might reveal what is unresolved and one of mine was quite interesting. The throat chakra’s traumas can include alcoholism and yelling—both themes which were visited while in an abstract and gentle dream featuring my much loved childhood pet dog…

:: CONSCIOUS COMMUNICATION ::
Which means honoring your feelings, understanding your needs and kindly requesting that they are met. With authentic expression however, comes responsibility. There’s also a delicate balance between being honest and tactful, and on some occasions silence is golden.

Voicing irritations and raising one’s voice, for example, can pollute the throat chakra, as can gossiping, blaming, criticizing, or any other type of negative communication. If you start thinking in these terms, try to raise the vibration before saying anything. Also use this checklist:

Is what you are about to say true?
If so, is it necessary to be said, and does it need to be said by you?
If the answer is yes, ask yourself if what you are about to say is kind/compassionate/loving.

Hearing is the fifth chakra’s sense and therefore listening is one of its most important realms of communication. That means listening to both your inner voice, and the voice of others. I think I may have an overactive Vishuddha, as I speak super fast (often with no filter) and sometimes feel impatient while listening.

With this in mind, I have made a conscious effort to start listening more intently, giving the other person my full undivided attention, putting away any devices and waiting (patiently!) to hear the them out completely before jumping in. This helps me to read between the lines and decipher others’ real needs, in order to respond in the right way.

:: THE AH MANTRA ::
To cleanse and purify any impure energy of speech, let the “AH” sound fill your throat for a few minutes.

One of the most powerful mantras on the planet, this sound is found in the name of most deities: Tara, Buddha, Krishna, Yah, Yeheshua, Saraswati, Wakantanka, Quan Yin, etc., along with many of the sacred words (Amen, Alleluia, AUM).

‘AH’ is also a sound related to the throat chakra, so it’s no coincidence that ‘AH HEM’—is the sound unconsciously made when a person clears his/her throat. While on a more conscious level, the Buddhist mantra ‘OM AH HUM’ is explained by my yoga guru Cat as “translating to body, speech and mind—speech being an integral part of having a harmonious co-existence with all living beings and speaking up for those who may lack a ‘voice’.”

:: USE YOUR VOICE ::
As long as the intention is pure, ANY way that you use your voice will help draw fresh energy through your throat chakra. I touch on the benefits of singing in this story and you can also hum, whistle, groan, sigh—ask your body what sounds need to be released, and just go for it, dialing up the volume if need be.

:: TEAR JERKERS ::
The throat is where I store my tears, and those that came with discovering my stuck story were beautifully cathartic. And as I know there are more to come, as part of my healing I chose my moments to indulge in deliberately triggering a little cry, with film.

When we watch weepies, it releases not only emotion, but also oxytocin, aka the love or cuddle hormone, which also regulates crying. A boost of oxytocin gives feelings of bonding, empathy, trust and maternal behavior, and it can’t differentiate between actual human beings and flickering images of them. If, like me, you have stuck emotion to release, this 10-minute supercut of tear jerking movie moments should have you sobbing in no time, letting those loving feelings wash over you. You’re welcome!

:: MUSIC ::
As sound is Vishuddha’s sense, music can also be a powerful activator. Partly down to some of the lyrics, melody, story or my personal associations, these tracks seem to resonate with the emotions stored within my throat chakra, allowing me to feel and heal.

What would be on on your Vishuddha playlist?

:: YOGA ::
Correcting one’s posture is key when re-aligning chakra’s, and these two yoga asanas, should help open up and/or activate the throat:

Fish (Matsyasana): Not only does this stretch the neck, it also strengthens the neck muscles needed to balance and stimulate the throat chakra.

Shoulder stand (Salamba Sarvangasana): considered the Queen of all yoga poses, because of its amazing healing abilities. Doing shoulder stands regularly is an excellent way to keep your thyroid healthy and helps sufferers of asthma (like me).

Two Pranayama exercises that also bring heat and stimulate the throat chakra are the Ujjayi and lion’s breath.

:: HEALING ROCKS ::
You can re-balance Vishuddha by stimulating its reflex points in the feet and hands: the connection point of the big toe with the feet, and halfway down the thumb. I’m taking this a step further by wearing a memento mori, which I had made by Zoe & Morgan, that hits this point of my left thumb. A gold ring depicting a skull with diamond eyes on angel wings. A little reminder of both my mortal and immortal self—to help me be more conscious and stop sweating the small stuff!

Zoe & Morgan have also created this beautiful throat chakra ring. Featuring Aquamarine, the stone of the sea, which helps the throat chakra to open, and communication to flow like water.

Other stones that are good for rebalancing the throat chakra include: lapis lazuli, blue topaz, turquoise, chrysocolla, sodalite and my favourite—sapphires, which I wear on a necklace and ring. Try wearing these stones so they sit on your throat chakra for the full healing benefit.

:: TRUE BLUE BABY I LOVE YOU ::
Considered a hue for health, blue’s calming effect helps restore balance to the throat chakra, and for me, my blue healing comes from connecting with the ocean. My happy is getting out under blue skies (ether—the throat’s element) whenever I can, and in the sea at least every few months. However, when that’s not possible a pool also does the trick. So treat yourself to a spa day, and the immersion in water as a kind of soul soothing, spiritual cleansing.

A COSMIC PORTAL: THE NUMEROLOGY OF 999

Posted on September 9, 2016November 5, 2018 by Felicia Bender

The numerology of 999 is a powerful invitation to let go and move forward in our journey, says Felicia Bender. Artwork: Victor Moatti

999

Ah, sweet surrender.

September 9, 2016 breaks down to 9-9-9 (since “2016” = 2+0+1+6 = 9, making this a Universal 9 Year). The code is a message and also an energetic reality.

This day opens us to surrender on the highest realm. It is the end of a concerted struggle and a transition into wisdom or even a sense of rebirth.

Think about what has constituted your biggest or most consistent struggle—either in the past year, or even throughout your life. This is the time to put this issue (or issues) to center stage and into the spotlight. Now is the time to make some deep changes.

In Numerology, the number 9 is sacred and offers all of the lessons related to all the numbers 1-8. It challenges us to take the lead and embrace independence (1), to love and serve the needs of everyone (2), to express emotions in a healthy way and to be creative (3), to work hard and create stability (4), to use freedom constructively and have fun (5), to nurture and create a home (6), to live with a spiritual base and also ask questions (7), and to empower ourselves and to manifest in the material world (8).

The numerology of 999, day where there is a TRIPLE serving of 9 energy, it opens us—whether we “like” it or not—to our truth, in ways that we have been both searching for and avoiding. While we can say we want enlightenment, we often romanticize it, when the actuality is that enlightenment a painful process. It is a constant stripping away and revealing of Truth and also shines a light on how we must participate in creating what we want in the world.

There is true beauty in the transition opening on this special day. And given we also have two eclipses in September—which themselves are known to accelerate change in a big way—the numerology of 999 in this particular year presents an opportune time to unveil your deepest desires and visualize what it would look and feel like to step into your new reality.

So how to maximize the numerology of 999?

TAKE THE LEAP. Have you been hovering around a decision for so long you can’t remember a time when it hasn’t been eating at you? For example, I know people who have been thinking about getting a divorce for years and just continue to hover in the relationship. A friend of mine said it so well: If you’re constantly thinking about whether or not you should be in your marriage, you shouldn’t be in your marriage! If you’re meant to be there, thinking about whether or not you should stay or go is simply not on the radar.

BE REAL about your actions and participation—while forgiving yourself fully and completely. Do you keep beating yourself up about something you did or didn’t do in the past? Do you replay it over and over again? I think it’s Byron Katie who observes that often we have one traumatic experience and yet our mind relives it so often, it is if we experience the trauma every time we replay it. This is the time to find a way to truly forgive yourself and move on. It’s up to you to find your way to do it—Therapy? Energy work? Hypnosis? A “Release” ritual? Whatever speaks to you, try it it.

EXPAND YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS. Oh, sure. Sounds so cliché. Yet the energy of the 9 is optimized when we can truly live the Buddhist tenant of being Present—when we can live in the moment, let go of the past without resentment, and be open and curious about the future. If there’s ever a time to clear our slate of negativity, this is it. And this is made more challenging by the current conditions we’re experiencing in the world. There is so much tumultuous change, it can be disconcerting. Yet if we can be the eye in the center of the hurricane—even in the most intense times—the rest of it will become so simple.

YOGI SAYS: “IS THE ENTREPRENEUR LIFE FOR ME?”

Posted on September 7, 2016November 4, 2018 by Eddie Stern

“Is the entrepreneur life for me?” Resident Yogi and philosopher Eddie Stern responds… Artwork: Francesco Clemente

“After years of working for other people and putting all my creative energy into their dreams, I finally decided to do my own thing a couple of years back. I have worked on various projects since, some more successful than others—and while I try to always learn from the lessons of my ‘failures’ it can be hard not to focus on things that have gone wrong, and blame myself. Lately this has made me fearful about continuing on the entrepreneurial path and I’ve been fantasizing about the ‘easy life’—i.e. working for somebody else again—even though I know in my heart this would make me depressed and leave me craving my freedom again. How can I get past my mistakes and remain confident about pursuing my own dreams?”

Dear Dreamer,

Almost everyone sometimes feels trapped between two worlds; one world we know, the other we don’t really know…but we have some ideas. One world is exhilarating and free, and the other is safe, but is a prison. The world of safety, as you pointed out, can often be boring, unfulfilling, and limiting, while the world of the unknown—where our hidden, unlimited potential lies—is scary. Until we jump in, that is.

These two realities are spoken of in Hindu philosophy. There is the reality that can be measured, is logical, has size, shape and weight—and the reality that cannot: thoughts, emotions, inspiration, potential and creativity. We can measure our bodies, possessions, money, buildings, cars, cities, even the Universe, but we cannot measure that things that inhabit these spaces: knowledge, love, compassion, empathy, dreams, ambitions, hopes, desires, potential and friendship.

The reality that can be measured is called sakala, “with form,” and the reality that cannot is called nishkala, “without form.” However, they are both real—they both exist! The realm of man is the sakala realm, and the realm of the Gods—as well as our hopes, dreams, potential and feelings—is nishkala.

We get stuck in the world of quantification, of measurement, because that is what our world demands of us. How many followers do we have on IG? How much money do I have in the bank? Do I have six packs in my abs, or only one and a half? We measure, we compare, and we are miserable in doing so, because we always come up short. And we measure because we don’t know who we are.

In Yoga, this knowing who we are is the solution to all misery. It is the plug that let’s all the dirty, stinky water down the drain. For when we truly know who we are, we are immeasurable, pure consciousness. When we don’t know who we are, we are limited by the things we measure ourselves against.

When we don’t know who we are, we imitate those who project the kind of confidence and knowledge, or beauty or wit, that we wished we had. We give up the struggle of discovering who we are, by playing it safe, and taking on someone else’s self-expression. But in the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna says to Arjuna, “It’s better to do your own dharma poorly, then to do the dharma of another well”, meaning, it’s better to do your own thing and fail, rather than do someone else’s thing and succeed.

Why? Because you’ll never be happy and never find fulfillment with someone else’s purpose, only with your own. And it’s only you who can discover what that is. When you do, is when freedom begins. It’s how you access the realm of nishkala, and bring it forward, actively, into your life.

In the Tarot, a card which seems to accurately represent the dilemma that you are in right now, is the Two of Wands. The image on the card is of a person standing between two upright wands; he is holding onto one of the wands with his left hand, and in his right, he is holding a globe, or, the world, as he gazes off towards the distance.

The meanings of the card can relate to decision making; you have reached a fork in the road, so to speak, and there are two directions you can go. One direction will lead you towards freedom and abundance, and the other towards safety, which is binding, and will be fraught with self-doubt. The card symbolizes independence and boldness on the one hand, and fear of failure, and dependence on others, on the other.

Being bold is an expression of personal power, which is simply another terms for your unique potential and creativity. Now may be the time for you to own that originality within you, and be bold enough to express it in the world. You may have had some failures, and you will definitely have fears to face head on, but in the end, regardless of success or failure, you will have the inner satisfaction of knowing that you were brave enough to listen.

The important thing is to keep at your work. Your creativity will continue to grow as you feed it. It will continue to grow as you use if for work that aligns with your own vision.

There are three key words I’ve seen associated with the Two of Wands: personal power (which I read as infinite potential channeled through us each as unique individuals); boldness; and originality. Your potential will become clearer the more you exercise it; your boldness will increase when you face your fears directly and don’t let them rule you; and last, connecting with your own work, and your own originality, will lead you towards personal fulfillment, which is true success.

But the Two of Wands reminds us of one other thing: we do not own our creativity, or our potential, or power. These are channeled through us, and if we are lucky, we can tap into them and express them through our actions and attitudes. We should remain humble knowing that we are not the authors of our creativity or power, that we are conduits, and that when creativity flows through us, all goes well. But when we try to control it, or think that we are special because of it, things will eventually go south. Be bold, but be humble. Be fearless, but also, be grateful.

A yogic practice you can try to balance out the two realities that we all live in is alternate nostril breathing. It’s fairly simple, is calming, and balances both hemispheres of the brain.

Begin by sitting comfortably in a chair, or cross-legged on the floor.

With your right hand, you make the Vishnu Mudra, which looks like this.

Place your right thumb against your right nostril, inhale and exhale 3-5 times through your left nostril. Your breathing should be smooth and even, not too long, and not too short. Usually a 3-4 second inhale and exhale is a good place to start.

After 3-5 breaths, close your left nostril with your right ring finger, and breath the same amount of times through the right nostril. Your breathing should be smooth and even, with the same length of breath that you used on the left side (3-4 seconds inhale, 3-4 seconds exhale).

After 4 breaths through the right side, place your right hand back into your lap or on to your knee, and take 3-5 slow deep breaths.

You can do this once or twice a day—morning and evening, and before having food, are optimal times to try it. There are many variations of alternate nostril breathing, that overall have some of the same effects. This one in particular is single nostril, or unilateral, breathing, and has been show to have positive effects on both spatial awareness (knowing where you are in space, and where things are in relation to you), and improving cognitive abilities. I think the two wands in the Two of Wands card are reminiscent of the nostrils, and the subtle energy channels that are attached to them! Try it, and see if it helps.

Yours,
Eddie

#TuneInPeaceOut: With The Numinous, The Hoodwitch & Tribe De Mama

Posted on September 7, 2016November 3, 2018 by Ruby Warrington

Join The Numinous, The Hoodwitch and Tribe De Mama and #TuneInPeaceOut for World Peace Day, September 21 2016…

For International Peace Day, September 21 2016, conscious lifestyle sites The Numinous, The Hoodwitch and Tribe De Mama are coming together to promote #TuneInPeaceOut—an IRL and digital initiative to spread the message of peace, equality, and compassion among all beings.

A series of heartbreaking world events in 2016 has shone a light on the divisiveness, hatred, and violence that still plagues our societies. Many of us were left feeling angry, frustrated, afraid, and wanting to help but unsure how. And, with a potentially game-changing US election this fall, our aim in creating #TuneInPeaceOut is to inspire those invested in forging a more peaceful path for humanity to use our voice.

The Numinous and The Hoodwitch founders Ruby Warrington and Bri Luna will host events with the theme #TuneInPeaceOut, in NYC and Seattle respectively, linking up via online conference during the evening to come together in a guided meditation for peace.

And we want you to get involved! There are three ways to take part…

1) We are inviting any and all interested parties to organize their own event for Peace Day (yoga class, workshop, talk, dinner with friends, etc) in your local area. Each event should also be themed #TuneInPeaceOut and we invite hosts to use the opportunity to share healing, wisdom and tools to inspire their guests to become activists for peace within your local communities. We will endeavor to share as many of your events as possible on our social feeds!

2) Register to take part in the guided meditation for peace broadcast LIVE from The Numinous and The Hoodwitch events on September 21. Click here to sign up.

3) Attend our FREE live “Peace In The City” event in NYC! Click here to save your spot.

We’ll be posting details about what we have planed, along with inspiration for YOUR events, on our social media feeds in the coming weeks. Meantime, you can reach out with any questions in the comments below, and follow @The_Numinous and @TheHoodwitch on Instagram.

Let’s come together to #TuneInPeaceOut—and remind each other that our intentions, our voices, and our actions CAN and DO have an impact in creating the peace we want to see in our world.

GASTROLOGY: A RECIPE FOR VIRGO SEASON

Posted on September 6, 2016November 4, 2018 by Bess Matassa

A unconventional lentil soup is the perfect recipe for Virgo season…Concept and styling: Georgia Ashdown, Dish Pig; Words: Mojave Rising; Recipe: Alex Watts, Dish Pig; Image: Chris Chen

Virgo season conjures careful concoctions, herbaceous blends, process-based cooking, and the delicious sensation of detoxification. The zodiac’s most meticulous minx invites us to break out our measuring cups and to revel in acts of sorting, discerning, and finely chopping.

It’s a month to celebrate how singular flavors contribute to the integrity of the whole, hearty stew of being human, and how complex proportions demonstrate that in doing the difficult work we are sumptuously rewarded for our care.

We’ve chosen a spicy, delightfully intricate yet simple, sweet and sour soup for Virgo season—perfect for channeling the earthy goodness inside masked by outer complexity. There’s also the collisions between perfectly proportioned piles and the glorious moment of blending, where we let distinction merge with the world as it is and serve it on up.

Astrology’s so-called “virgin” is actually a wild, witchy woman who lives by her own code and gathers provisions for a proprietary brew befitting a self-contained queen of everyday alchemy. Her soup is for celebrating each piece of ourselves: from the tangy lime cheeks, to the sweet, sweet coconut cream on top!

RECIPE FOR VIRGO SEASON :: SWEET AND SOUR LENTIL SOUP

serves 4-6

Chefs notes ~ with the addition of some a dollop of coconut cream and harissa this soup can really come to life.

1 red onion diced
1 red capsicum, charred and peeled
2 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp ground tumeric
1 tsp ground coriander
100ml grapeseed oil
600g Kumera diced approx. 1cm
4 ripe tomatoes diced
2 garlic cloves sliced
1 long red chilli, de-seeded and sliced
1tbs tamarind pulp
100 ml boiling water
1 tbs vegan fish sauce
½ tsp tumeric
1 cup Red Lentils, soaked
1.5litres veg stock
1 handful chopped coriander
1 handful shallot (scallion) rounds
2 Lime cheeks

Wash the lentils under cold water, and repeat three times then strain off the water.

Soak the tamarind pulp in boiling water and pass through a sieve to remove seeds.

In a heavy based saucepan, fry the onions and garlic in grape seed oil until, soft but not coloured. Add the chilli & spices and cook for a further 5 mins stirring constantly. Add the kumera, red lentils, tomato, tamarind, red capsicum and veg stock. Cook until the Kumera just begins to soften and remove from heat.

Season with fish sauce, chopped herbs and serve with a grilled lime cheek.

HOLY F*CK: IS MODERN DATING ALL ABOUT SECOND BEST?

Posted on August 25, 2016November 4, 2018 by Alexandra Roxo

Is second best enough when it comes to modern dating? Alexandra Roxo breaks her six-month self-love and celibacy regime to find out…

Over sushi last Friday with my friend Kristina, she suggested that perhaps it was time for me to dip a toe back in the dating game. I’d taken a six month break from sex and dating in the name of self-love and self growth, and, Jesus, that felt like long enough. But as Kristina recounted her latest dating exploits, I wanted to run for the hills—a.k.a. bury myself back in Doreen Virtue videos in my muumuu, with nothing but some Coconut Bliss in bed with me!

Okay, so maybe dating isn’t all that bad. I have a handful of friends that have found their “life partners” in the past year. Hopelessly in love. Soul mate status. One couple met on Tinder. One at Burning Man. Two other friends who just passed a decade met their loves out with friends, and just felt instantly “at home.” And these couples keep me full of hope.

But the rest of us perhaps fall into two categories:

-Those of us in a string of casual romances, engaging with people that seem exciting but just aren’t available or right.

-Or those of us sitting it out and waiting/minding our own business (a.k.a. dancing and having fun and meditating and sometimes feeling bored and starved of love).

So what’s best while searching for true love? Keeping on dating people who don’t seem “in it to win to it” (i.e. are always busy, “wanna keep it chill” and “low pressure with no commitment” blah blah) Or waiting it out? I feel like the easiest thing when it comes to modern day dating and sex is to accept what’s there: perhaps someone hot and fun who meets some of our needs, but not all. Especially since: “You can’t have it all.” Right?

Last week in our first Holy F*ck salon I heard a lot of this. Women accepting half loves. Or a morsel of connection. Or a lot of drunk sex with regretful mornings but fun nights. I’ve talked to friends too who are torn about this. We ponder “Should I go on casual dates? Spend that time on dating apps? Is it worth it if you know your heart’s not in it and neither is theirs?”

I’d been a serial monogamist for ten whole years, and last year upon being single and freshly in Los Angeles I found myself busy but not really satisfied. There was the hot writer who was in a failing open relationship (a.k.a. still in love with someone) but who would stare into my eyes with such passion when we had sex and orgasmed in tandem, and put cinnamon in my coffee.

Then there was the high school teacher who wanted to be called “Daddy” in bed and didn’t tell me he was engaged until date four. The friend of six years who professed his love and then confessed he had a new girlfriend. The Hollywood director who wined and dined me and wrote a part based on my life in his T.V. show, and then mentioned casually on date three he was in an open relationship of two years after ordering me an Uber town car home.

Not forgetting the famous musician who told me he wanted to meet my mom and refused to wear condoms, and who my friend saw on a dating app the next day. All. Unavailable. (And three out of five of these men meditate daily and do plant medicine or Buddhist retreats btw!)

There were women too. And at least they were more forthcoming and told me on date two they were just in it for fun casual vibes or what not. But overall it was a lot of kiiiiinda fun things that didn’t add up to one great thing.

So when I met someone earlier this year mid dating cleanse, who seemed amazing and into me, but who was also in an open relationship, I was like “Nope! I wanna be someone’s number 1!” I’ve had plentya number 2 status in the last year, and I honestly don’t know how I got demoted. So I also said: “Let’s be friends.”

But yes, I’m currently back to dating. And there I am, naked in a bed in a state of post orgasmic bliss, that cool Los Angeles breeze sweeping through the room, after a day having my feet massaged by the very same previously mentioned person. Because after six months of celibacy, I’ve somehow I’ve managed to I convince myself I can adjust my needs and be more progressive—a.k.a. share my lover with his two to three other lovers.

And then he stepped away to take a call. The primary partner of five years. Oh yeah…right. The magic spell lifted and I was reminded of the bigger picture. I was not Queen Bee.

This Rumi quote has echoed in my ears for over a decade: “A thousand half-loves must be forsaken to take one whole heart home.”

And I’ve decided this is true, for me. And that it applies to EVERYTHING. Not just love, but work. Friendships. Sometimes something is so close, but just not 100% right. And if you say yes to it anyway, you’re telling your self that you will always settle for less. Worse, in lowering your standards, you could also miss that the thing you really want because now you’re vibrating at a half mast frequency.

As my new friend Andi reminded me on the beach last week: “If it’s not a hell YES it’s a NO!”

When you’re hungry for something, sometimes it’s hard to resist whatever comes along that’s almost what you want. It’s like you know that it’s not quite going to satisfy you, but you eat it anyway—then wish you’d waited for what you really want. And yes, sometimes healthy compromise is key—and only YOU can decipher where the line in the sand gets drawn.

Since my recent experience of making a commitment to loving my SELF, I’ve also found myself inspired and in love with art, nature, friends, my work, all of it. As I was up late the other night, deep in celebration of this, I found this quote by Bjork, whom I’ve loved since I was 18:

“I never really understood the word ‘loneliness’. As far as I was concerned, I was in an orgy with the sky and the ocean, and with nature.”

I hope whether single or attached you can commit to finding your own inner orgy—and I believe that from this place it’s impossible to accept half loves, or half jobs, or half friends. You just smile and wink and mosey along if it doesn’t feel right. And by holding space for the most magnificent YOU, all the other stuff will just begin to filter in.

Alexandra offers one on one mentorship and coaching and her Holy F*ck group salon, which was just featured in Amuse/i-d Magazine. The next session of the Holy F*ck salon will begin September 6th for 6 weeks of chatting/deconstructing/and tuning in around love, sex and spirituality. Sign up here!

HOW I BECAME MY OWN REBOUND RELATIONSHIP

Posted on August 16, 2016November 4, 2018 by Emma Whitehair

Rather than indulging in a post-break-up rebound with another person, engage in a fling with yourself says Emma Whitehair… Artwork: Maja Planinac

The first thing that “rebound relationship” googles up is: “an attempt to fill a hole in your life… to avoid the pain of a breakup.” And there’s few of us unfamiliar with that visceral craving to have something, or someone, fill the void left by the ending of an intimate human connection.

Even though my last breakup didn’t involve a breakdown, letting go of a lover often leaves me feeling bereft. That special closeness lost, gone forever, with them having known me so intimately.

So I grieved a little, before my gut suggested—actually shouted pretty loudly—that I needed to treat this hole as space for growth. This was my time to face my fear of being single, pack up my emotional baggage and elope. With myself.

Unlike the quick fix of a fling, or a replacement insta-relationship, rebounding with yourself is about so much more than simply avoiding heartache. No one else can offer the same level of security, unconditional love or acceptance, as a divine relationship with yourself.

As I have discovered, this kind of self-generated love allows your life to flow with joy, and for things to start magically falling into place. In the words of Oscar Wilde: “To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance”. So, how about a three-way with mind, body and soul; be part of the self-love revolution!

There are many routes to saying a passionate yes to yourself, and while each person’s path is as individual as them, here are a few things that helped ignite a romance with the soul mate under my very nose. Literally.

:: TUNE IN TO YOUR INNER WISDOM ::

A.k.a. your intuition, as only it knows what your true needs are, and how to go about getting them met.

‘Focusing’ was a technique I learned on a course at the West London Buddhist Centre. A reflective practice that involves taking a curious awareness into your body and listening for messages, simply close your eyes in a quiet place, as you would to meditate, but instead, sense what needs your attention.

Describe out loud what you are experiencing. Is your chest tight? Stomach heavy? As I described my constricted throat the words resonated deeply, and the words that followed flowed, like a stream of consciousness. with my body, not my head, leading. “There is so much sadness I need to release…talk about….to heal…”

Then the visuals came. I saw an anxious, pining Wolfhound—frantically scratching at a locked door and whining to be let out. It took a few days to process this but eventually it dawned on me: this was a clear message to step away from the door to the outside world, and deepen my meditation practice.

:: UP YOUR MEDITATION GAME ::

As Einstein said: “I think 99 times and find nothing. I stop thinking, swim in silence, and the truth comes to me.”

Although I previously had a vague meditation practice, I wanted to try a new technique in order to get a better connection to my inner self, and Transcendental Meditation was the gateway.

From the first session, I noticed how effortless it was to meditate using a mantra as a stepping stone. And a few weeks in, I had my first experience of transcending, which will stay with me forever—I was hardly using the mantra at all, my breathing became shallow and I felt a melting sensation, like I was disappearing into unboundedness. My head become weightless, like a helium balloon before I felt an an ecstatic rush. It was the feeling of falling in love, with myself. Grinning from ear to ear, I was hooked.

The more I meditate, when negative thoughts and emotions inevitably creep up, I have the tools to observe them with curiosity and acceptance. So regardless of what’s happening in my life experience, I can get to some serenity. Not quite cosmic consciousness yet, but slowly and surely getting a little closer.

:: DEAL WITH THE JUNK IN YOUR TRUNK ::

And I don’t mean sorting out your loft, although that of course can help too (just speak to Marie Kondo). Most of us have issues holding us back in one way or another, and a breakup is the perfect time to find the right professional to help with some emotional sat nav.

For me that person was Fiona Arrigo. With a background of 30 years in psychotherapy, Fiona runs haute holistic healing retreats in rural Somerset, where she carefully assembles a crack team for bespoke programs. Orchestrated treatment by treatment, the therapists all compare notes to ensure the next session works with the discoveries from the one before.

Checking in with me each day of the retreat, with just a little guidance during our chats, Fiona helped me untangle my past, understand some of my triggers and shift a lot of the sadness I have been carrying around since the ‘dark ages’.

Note: aside from Fiona’s healing retreats, she also has clients from all over the world she ‘sees’ for skype therapy sessions.

:: EXPERIMENT WITH HOLISTIC HEALING ::

Be open to finding multi-discipline healing techniques to help you feel more integrated. The investment in yourself is worth it.

My The Arrigo Programme retreat gave me the opportunity to try everything from Acupuncture, Kinesiology and EFT to Soul Fragment Retrieval. Astrological Counselling being the biggest eye-opener—helping me understand recurring obstacles, life lessons and talents.

On this retreat I also hit a sweet spot with Tibetan Pulsing—an energy work using a diagnosis from the iris of the eye, which gives a feeling of such deep peace. Transformational Breathwork was another game changer, and Matrix Re-aligning allowed me to have a conversation with my deceased mother’s spirit, releasing some of the grief I’d been holding on to for years.

:: HAVE A SING-ALONG ::

From Kirtan Kriya to church choir or karaoke, the benefits of singing are scientifically proven. Encouraging deep breathing, it uplifts your spirit and gives a sense of well-being

Personally, I prefer warbling along into a hairbrush at the top of my voice, in the privacy of my own home. Get it all out by wallowing with Adele or having a rage-along with Alanis. Then move on by creating a feel good playlist of songs such as State of Independence, Ch-Chng and Love Me. Or take the anthems of co-dependence, and change the object of the lyrics adoration to Self. Let It Go may or may not also be on repeat. Sorry neighbors.

:: TALK TO YOURSELF ::

Not like a crazy lady, but like you would talk to your lover—using words of self-appreciation not depreciation. Develop an affectionate conversation with yourself and respond to any negative thoughts with compassion, acknowledging them but not letting them linger.

Be reverent, congratulatory and give compliments regularly. Look, really look at yourself in the mirror, hush the critical voice and observe with the eyes of love. Thank your body. Be your own cheerleader.

Deepen your self-love practice at out next Club SÖDA NYC event, Sex, Lies & Alcohol, August 23 in NYC. Details and ticket info here.

THE NUMEROLGY OF 8/8

Posted on August 7, 2016November 5, 2018 by Felicia Bender

Felicia Bender explains how to use the powerful numerology of 8/8 to bring about your greatest manifestations…

numerology of 8/8 Daenerys on The Numinous — A day to channel your inner Daenerys

Question: What could possibly be more exciting than Leo season?

Answer: Leo season and the magical manifestation energy of the number 8!

In Numerology, the number 8 brings energy related to manifestation in the material world. It’s all about money, power, and achievement. And don’t misread the 8 as relating to “money only.” This energy is all about personal empowerment, since we really can’t fully manifest in the material world without a strong sense of self—and a consistent ability to be resilient, ethical, and hard-working.

Still, the numerology of 8/8 offers a strong vortex of manifestation energy that’s there for the taking. This is a powerful day to take a long-term view of your goals. Are you happy with your financial situation? If so, keep doing that. If not-so-much, then using this day to sit down and take a deep look at where you are, how you got there, and perhaps where you want to be instead, is mandatory.

And as a passing thought en route to the grocery store won’t cut it. This requires some concerted soul-searching and a bit’o long-term planning. Because the energy of the 8 isn’t “light.” It’s not particularly easy-breezy or “lucky.” Rather, the 8 brings ideas and desires into the material world ONLY when there is a solid focus, a plan, organization, and some elbow grease.

And when the going gets tough, the 8 gets going!

This month, the double 8 of 8/8 is a platform from which to launch our practical dreams, whether it’s a desire for a healthy and passionate relationship, a new job or career more suited to our talents, and that offers more money. This isn’t about fly-by-night endeavors. So make a plan. Tap a more business-like attitude. And most importantly, take yourself seriously!

This may cause some real “OMG I’m just not good enough” feelings to bubble to the surface. Don’t avoid them—we actually benefit when we take a look at our perceived weaknesses. We get to investigate where they originated and get serious about how we can get past self-sabotage and into our empowerment. You are the embodiment of the Divine, hear you roar!

So get ready to rumble and take advantage of this powerful opportunity to launch your “what’s next” plan of action. Take the high road and don’t succumb to defeatism, victimization, or any other negative “ism.” The 8 amplifies all that we think about and act upon, so step up and make it count.

MY MYSTICAL LIFE: WEEDS AMONG THE GRASS ROOTS, AND MEETING MY MINI ME

Posted on August 5, 2016November 3, 2018 by Ruby Warrington

Big up to the grass roots entrepreneurs, an infrared detox, meeting my Mini Me…and the lies we buy about booze.

Witchy vibes in the streets of Sibenik with Alexandra Roxo and Jayne Goldheart ruby warrington my mystical week the numinous — *Witchy vibes in the streets of Sibenik with Alexandra Roxo and Jayne Goldheart*

:: MONDAY ::
Massive shout out to the organizers of Obanjan, the Croatian music and wellness fest I returned early from today. Early because a gnarly confluence of eco-operational-political factors meant they had to postpone the opening…the night before the opening, having already flown artists and contributors in from all over the world! And with close to 300 guests and press arriving for the big reveal to boot. A.k.a. every entrepreneurs worst. Freaking. Nightmare.

And here’s the thing. It’s fear of monumental s*it like this hitting the fan that keeps most of us from stepping up, pursuing our dreams and truly doing our dharma. From putting our heart, soul, balls (ovaries?) and life savings on the line to create something we truly believe in. Anybody who’s built a business or launched a project or product will have experienced similar setbacks—falling somewhere on the sliding scale of devastation. I know I have. And it feels HORRIBLE. And I keep putting my heart, and soul, and ovaries and life savings into my projects anyway.

We all say we want less corporate, less branded, more DIY experiences, right? Well down in the grass roots, there are also gonna be some weeds.

Sure, it was an inconvenience to fly half way across the world for nothing. (Although it wasn’t for nothing really, since I got to brainstorm with my boo Alexandra Roxo, hang out with Shauna and Morgan from Unlimited, FINALLY bond with brilliant Jayne Goldheart, and meet the magical Gail Schock). And yeah, if the holiday I’d booked got cancelled/delayed at the last minute, I’d be pretty pissed off too. But really? Fairly minimal annoyances compared to what the organizers were going through.

All I kept thinking as I witnessed the fallout, was: Good for you. Good for you for feeling the fear, and doing it f*cking anyway.

AND latest update is, Obonjan opens for business Friday Aug 5 (yes, that’s today!!) Keep following their Twitter and Instagram accounts for more updates.

:: TUESDAY ::
Shout out to another badass entrepreneur, Henry Holland, who I watched set up his label House of Holland from scratch out of the fashion cupboard of the magazine we were working on together 10 years ago. Wow, a whole decade! And with PLENTY a “character building” road-bump along the way. Anyhow, this rather special sweatshirt (below) from his latest collaboration with Lee arrived in the mail today. #COSMIC!

Sweatshirt, £102, House of Holland for Lee on The Numinous my mystical week ruby warrington — *Sweatshirt, £102, House of Holland for Lee*

:: WEDNESDAY ::
Infrared saunas, anybody? It’s a big YES PLEASE from me after my first visit to HigherDOSE today, a new spa offering private infrared sessions in Manhattan. I kind of never got the sauna thing, but secluded in my little wooden hut, my own music on the speakers, sweating tennis balls of toxic travel stress (see: Monday), I found myself thinking: well this feels like it’s REALLY good for me. Kind of like Bikram, without the pain part. Maybe it’s cuz I was also reading their info pack—”decreases cortisol, increases serotonin; detoxifies heavy metals, radiation, and environmental toxins; stimulates collagen, reduces wrinkles; burns 600 calories a session (!)”—and maybe it’s cuz Kate Bosworth was in the booth next door. But I’ll be back. Discover more: Higherdose.com

:: THURSDAY ::
Got the actual date my book will be published next year…which meant I could finally do her birth chart!! (Yes, she’s a she). AND, it turns out we have the same Rising (public image), Moon (emotional center), Mercury (communication style) and Midheaven (professional path). How freaking rad is that?! Talk about Mini Me. She also has her North Node (karmic destiny point) at 0 degrees Virgo—which says she’s destined to be of service in the world, but colored with some unbridled Leo North Node self-expression. I want to be her friend already 🙂

:: FRIDAY ::
Will be mainly spent spreading the word about my next Club SÖDA NYC event with Biet Simkin and special guest Betsy LeFae, Sex, Lies & Alcohol. Turns out summer (not to mention toxic travel stress: see Monday) is a major drinking trigger for me (anyone?)—the “lie” my inner booze demon spins, that day-drinking in the sunshine is what August is made for. My personal truth being that nothing feels as blissfully free (my core desired feelings from day drinking) as…never being hung-over! It’s been getting super down with my intuition—simply, what feels right and what feels wrong for me—that’s helped me truly connect to this, which is why I’m so happy intuition coach Betsy is joining us for this event. Read more and get your ticket here.

IS MEDITATION DANGEROUS FOR MANIC DEPRESSIVES?

Posted on August 3, 2016November 4, 2018 by Lisa Luxx

Following an experience that took her to the edge, Lisa Luxx asks is meditation dangerous for the more sensitive minds among us?

Some of us are so highly connected to the rhythms of the Moon, that much like the tide we are dragged by some greater force into depth and darkness. One would have thought the way back toward the surface would be through meditation; the New Age answer to everything. I certainly thought so—surely it will balance me back out and return me to my moorings. Until one prolonged Samantha mediation class led me to the lip of suicide.

Silence is best taken in tiny sips when the mind has a tendency for self-destruction. I know this after I glugged on a big cup of the stuff and wound up choking. What happened was, the class leader was taking us through a guided meditation; only at a certain point, I was instructed to stop following their guidance and continue with my own practice for the remainder of the class.

So now there’s me, free-falling. Surrounded by all these people in woven clothes, with clear eyes and a softness about their jaw. And me, whimpering in pain, crying abundantly, unable to make eye contact or speak, playing out my own death forwards and backwards in my head until I now how to execute it perfectly.

I survived thanks to a very sensitive friend who was in the class too and saw it all happen. Once I’d come ’round I spoke to another friend, also bestowed the gift of ‘manic depression’—and she told me that her teacher at the East London Buddhist Centre advised she only take half hour classes because of the uncertainty that lay in opening up. My quasi-spiritual therapist wasn’t surprised either; “you have to be so careful with meditation,” she told me, explaining how dangerous it can be to create space for unwelcome thoughts to take hold.

My experience was overwhelming. Depression has been sucking on me ever since I remember, but I’ve never felt such a sudden rush of pain as I did that day. It was a tidal wave. A brute force. The most certain and determined I’ve ever felt about wanting to pass through to the other side of living. During the time it took for the episode to play out, I existed within the visions of death, rather than the visions of death existing within me.

Ever since the experience I’ve been wary about meditating again. I’ve got myself in a really good, balanced place now but I daren’t allow space for that darkness to re-enter and consume me again. My pal won’t always be on hand to pull me back in from the ledge. I see now that this resistance is my psyche trying to protect me. But when I speak to Sumaya Fenton, my friend who is a practitioner of Rinzai Zen, she tells me: “The psyche trying to protect you is based on fear and ego. Any emotion you had was only temporary.”

She goes on to explain that sometimes these knock backs happen before a great break through. But I haven’t felt safe blindly continuing with the same practices I felt had almost killed me. However, each person walks their own path to enlightenment (in as many life times as it takes), and perhaps my pathway is going to start to look a little different.

lisa luxx walking meditation by Olivia Sykes on The Numinous — *A walking meditation. Photo by Olivia Sykes*

“Wherever you’re at you’re still on a path. In Zen they talk about the ten stages of insight—the road map to enlightenment—and around stage four people have this experience of a big fear, or something that really knocks them back, but you carry on and focus less on the significance and meaning of that experience and more on the physicality of meditation,” says Sumaya.

For me, meditation right now cannot be about sitting in silence—but it can be about movement, like walking meditation, or other physical manifestations. Paying attention to each part of my foot in turn as it makes contact with the earth. Focusing on my breath and other practices that put the awareness in my body: “[in these practices] your mind is still opening up and expanding but you’re not watching your mind so consciously and fearfully.”

I also sit across from the Yorkshire moors, where my house is nestled, and interpret the patterns of the Sun/Moon-light across the hills mirroring my emotions. Finding synchronicity between my internal process and the greater external process. Which also works to remind me that my ups and downs are simply localized versions of the master rhythms of this universe.

Yoga helps. And I’ve also taken up life-drawing. You learn something about yourself from the way you depict another body. These have become my ways of getting mindful and finding peace within the almighty Oneness. Though I still often feel like I’m free-falling.

Sumaya says that the pressure in the West to do everything ourselves is what’s making for unsafe meditation practices. “Having a teacher is paramount. Pretty much as important as daily practice. The problem is systemic, Western capitalism only provides this culture of sticking plasters rather than giving the proper context of how and why to tread this path—which often comes from a long-term relationship with a teacher.”

It feels to me like in our society, this ‘one size fits all’ take on meditation is proving to sit a little baggy or tight on many of us. For the more sensitive minds among us, giving time to developing a relationship with a trusted teacher would also mean rooting ourselves in connectivity, by allowing our journey to be directed by the wisdom of another.

East London Buddhist Centre run Breathing Space, a course developed for people with depression, anxiety or other imbalances (‘gifts,’ as I like to call them). The course involves more personal attention from the teacher, more support. But even within their standard classes they aim to relate to people on a personal basis.

“Faith in humankind is what we need the most” says Sumaya. And if our practice begins with trusting another human being then we starting off in the arms of safety, which is ultimately what saved me. And why I’m ready to continue on my path.

If you’re concerned about whether meditation is right for you, then please consult with a medical professional.

TAROTSCOPES: AUGUST 2016

Posted on July 31, 2016November 6, 2018 by Lindsay Mack

Cast by Lindsay Mack, using The Starchild Tarot.

Leo :: Leo Rising / Ten of Cups
Dear Leo, what a sweet month you have ahead of you. And it is so deserved. You’ve been frickin’ warriors the last few months, and now you get to bask in the fruits of your labor a bit.Recent months for you have ranged from a little tough to intensely challenging. I will remind you that the recent crunch has only been in service of birthing you back into your power, helping you remember your innate strength.

And you’ve said yes so bravely. Many of you have had to migrate from your homes. Many of you took the leap and quit your jobs, left your lovers, changed your life. It’s truly been a “do or die” time for your wild souls, and most of you are saying a passionate yes to yourselves. Embracing the medicine of the Ten of Cups is to choose to be available to the beauty of the present moment, however transient it might be.I’ve said this before and it bears repeating: the Ten of Cups is a rainbow; a sunset; a sunrise; a shooting star; a cool breeze on a hot night; the miraculousness of your child.

It is the full hearted understanding that there’s just this moment and that the moment is perfect, filled with treasures. The treasures are there, even though life surely will be filled with its relative challenges and uncertainty. You might not know where you’re going, Leo, but guess what? Neither does anyone else! You can drop the idea that you should know the next step. Who says? It’s just an old ego echo, keeping you from the sweetness of the moment. By boldly embracing the beauty of now, you’re daring to be grateful, to be vulnerable, to be awe-struck. You’re daring to live with your heart open.

True strength is weeping over a beautiful sunset, even though you might have zero dollars in your bank account; even though your marriage might be falling apart, even though you might not know what’s next. Just like the sun will surely set and rise, your bank account will fill again. Your heart will break and heal and be fiercer and brighter than it ever was. You will love again.

So the question is, can you hold both? The not-knowing and the awe? The fear and the wonderment? The dread and the excitement? If this moment is all there is, are you brave enough to choose the beautiful?

Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Lindsay here and follow her on Instagram.

Virgo :: Virgo Rising / The Fool
August is going to be incredibly exciting for you, Virgo. The month will be ripe with new possibilities and ideas, an immensely fertile time where nearly anything you want to create or manifest in your life will be within your reach. You do have to stretch your hand out to take it, but the fruit is on the vine, ready and waiting.

The sacred invitation of The Fool will be to leap boldly and bravely into the unknown, into the next great expansion of your life. Think BIG with this energy. The Fool is not foolish; the fool is the ultimate knower of truth. The Fool is willing to look foolish, all because only s/he knows what’s true for them. The Fool is inherently magical, a child in utero—in the world, but not. Anything is possible. The rules don’t apply. The Fool is card 0, the Void, the Starseed. This energy knows that to leap with a fearless heart into whatever we want most, into the unknown, is a commitment to personal expansion.

It is the jump that sets off an entire karmic journey, an entire wheel of experience, wisdom and teachings. It’s the beginning of a new level in your life, Virgo. You stand to gain everything, but you have to be brave. And I’m going to tell you right now: there is no road map for this jump. Don’t bother looking! There are no guarantees on paper, no assurances; there’s nothing to encourage or push you off the cliff—it has to be totally voluntary. It is that energy, that voluntary energy, that sets the whole beautiful cycle in motion. The more commitment you employ, the softer and more abundant the landing will be.

A gentle reminder: please don’t worry if the people in your life see your great leap as foolish. Thank them for their opinions, and leap anyway. Trust yourself. Trying to resist The Fool is exhausting and impossible; you can’t do it. To deny yourself the plunge is to deny your soul. Let them be concerned, but don’t stop for them. They don’t have to get it. Neither do you, in fact! If the dissenting voice is coming from your own mind, tell it “thank you” and just keep going. Leap forward, no matter what. I invite you to be brave, courageous and even a tiny bit excited in the possibilities of The Fool this month. Screw fear, screw resistance—just take the joyful leap forward.

Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Lindsay here and follow her on Instagram.

Libra :: Libra Rising / Death
The Death card is bringing in deep “rite of passage” energy for you this month, Libra. It will be presenting the opportunity for important inner work to unfold within you, if you are willing to surrender to it. You will truly be walking from one world into another this month. Life will not be the same—thank goodness! The piece that’s most ready to be recycled in the Death card has to do with emotional calcification.

It is time to thaw and release old thoughts, behaviors and patterns. But even more to the point, it is time to consider that your emotional inner life can swirl around you without you letting it stop you or slow you down. THAT is what is ready to die and be reborn in a new paradigm within you. You are the ocean; your feelings are the waves. You can allow big and distracting emotions to be there without being ruled or controlled by them. It’s time to wring out these old experiences and let them become sacred fertilizer; let them become background music rather than your main event.

The Death work is important for your next big step, because it is carving out so much more room and space within yourself. The energy of the card is really coming through as a “spiritual death” for you, so treat it spiritually. Treat it with reverence. Do ritual or ceremony if it calls to you. Intentionally ask to release all that does not serve your highest expansion to the Great Mother and Father. Reconnect to the idea that you are actually rebirthing, not dying. There’s so much more to come. I strongly advise you to shower yourself with compassion this month. Be sweet to yourself, please, please. Be gentle. Be soft. Make it your most sacred, disciplined practice to regard yourself with tenderness, this month and always.

A lot might come up for you emotionally this month; or nothing might. Just intend to treat whatever arises with kindness. The Death card is here because you’re ready. It is here to compost the outdated processes and stuck emotions, turning them into what feeds the new growth inside of us. Can you imagine all you could do, accomplish and create without the old stories at the wheel? Imagine the joy. Surrender over to it and start feeding the new habits you want to cultivate—your new life. You are ready to step into it.

Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Lindsay here and follow her on Instagram.

Scorpio :: Scorpio Rising / Six of Swords
Six of Swords brings an opportunity to use your mind in sacred objectivity, Scorpio; seeing the forest for the trees and understanding difficult things from a larger perspective. Genuinely rising above your circumstances, compassionately and calmly, is the potential of the Six of Swords. You have the chance of getting very clear on certain parts of your life that might feel dark, confusing or weedy in the thick of the situation. When you intentionally rise above the clang of the ego and brain, there will be so much more of an empowered perspective available to you.

You stand a much better chance of accessing this objective space with loving community around you, which is a huge part of this card. To have a chorus of dear friends and kin around you who can live as your trusted eyes and ears, the hands that lift you out of darkness, is imperative for you this month. Lean on them. If you don’t feel like you have that soul family around you, ask for them to come into your life. They will.

Remember: any Sword card is bringing a specific frequency, an invitation to master an aspect of our brain chemistry. We move through these—from Ace to 10, then from Page to King. At the end of the journey, we ideally will have gained more wisdom around how we think, communicate and move through the world; how we can be more aware of our complexes and ingrained patterns. Being in a Sword card means mastering some aspect of your thinking, Scorpio, so treat it that way. You have the chance to really rise above some old stuff this month. Lean into it hard.

The second thing is that it’s a Six. Sixes are an expansion following a contraction; the Fives in the Tarot are a much tougher lesson for the brain/ego. There’s more opportunity for luminosity and clarity in this card—in fact, that’s the point of it. This month, feeling the connection of community, friendship and empowerment through the journey out of the weeds of your thinking is the brightest treasure. You don’t have to be an island, Scorpio. Let people in. Let people help you. Be willing to be brave and vulnerable. Practice seeing the forest for the trees in any given situation this month, big or small. It’s a part of your mastery as a human being, so say yes to it.

Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Lindsay here and follow her on Instagram.

Sagittarius :: Sagittarius Rising / Four of Pentacles
Honor your “energetic doorway” this month, Sagittarius. Be mindful of who you allow into your life, and what you open your door to. Not because anything bad will happen, but because your soul might be feeling more tender. There might be more of an instinctive call to be in your own company in August. If this is your experience, it is deeply wise to give yourself sacred space. Doing so will allow you to go deeper within, doing important boundary work. For some of you, you might need the space because you’ll be birthing or channeling new work. If that’s the case, take it!

Four of Pentacles is a woefully misunderstood card. Many folks believe it’s a kind of parable about being closed off and stuffy; holding your money close to you, Scrooge style, shut off from people and the world. That’s NOT what we are talking about here. Fours in the Tarot are a kind of white salt circle, inviting us to draw important lines in the sand around ourselves and the world. They are often very important to the health of the spirit, and it is imperative that we honor these circles with great integrity to self.

The Four of Pentacles is a energetic boundary card for the body and aura. On the Smith-Rider tarot card, the man is holding the coins over his head, heart and feet. His heart, crown and root chakras are closed for business for a little while. This is appropriate, and important, especially for those of you who are more social or work with people in a helping profession. Redraw the lines around where you allow people in, how you give people your space and time—redefine how you nourish yourself. It will be very important, so you can weed out emotional vampires, or where YOU may be reacting out of fear and ego to someone else.

Sometimes this card arises when we need to do some gentle inquiry on where our “stuff” pops up with other people: jealousy, comparison, making mini wars inside the mind. If you have someone in your life who makes you feel that way, Sagittarius, be willing to take some space from them. Inquire about why they trigger that in you. Clear out the wound. Gift yourself the space and time you need, loves. Get clear, and come back into the world refreshed and renewed, open in all ways.

Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Lindsay here and follow her on Instagram.

Capricorn :: Capricorn Rising / The Hermit
This month is offering you the opportunity to deeply retreat into yourself, Capricorn. You are being invited to soften and listen to the subtle voice within you. To do this, we must explore the bones of how we get there in the first place.

Let us land on this word: retreat. Movement away from any stressful or exhausting situation so that our personal well can be refilled. How comfortable do you feel with this idea? Do you believe you deserve such a thing? Is it weak to take breaks and retreats? Do you long for it? Do you know how to give it to yourself? Do you feel that you are only effectual by “doing” and “making shit happen”? All such important questions. You have to check out your personal beliefs around The Hermit, around the value of inner time, before you can come to his cave on the mountains — if you don’t inquire, you won’t even get a foot out the door. That is the first step.

The second step is the journey there itself. How to journey to The Hermit an important piece, which is why you were asked to examine your beliefs around retreats. It’s important to know what blocks you, or you run the risk of just not showing up to greet The Hermit at all. It is a journey to get to him, to get to that place within ourselves. It is supposed to be—just like a retreat. We must live this journey, walk this journey. It’s a doing and a being, not an intending and a “thinking about”. We have to commit to the Hermit, just as we are invited to commit to ourselves. The how of dropping into The Hermit is just as important as the commitment to take the first step. Resolve to explore this within yourself this month, Capricorn.

The main medicine of The Hermit is very similar from sign to sign, from person to person: it is a sacred pause, a time of deep and mindful retreat, and an invitation to go within the self and commune with the wisdom there. It comes to teach us how to refill our own wells, how to listen and pay attention to the inner landscape. Say yes to the first steps, and it will feel as though everything in the Universe is a master teacher.

Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Lindsay here and follow her on Instagram.

Aquarius :: Aquarius Rising / Strength
The Strength card has shown up as an initiation journey for you this month, Aquarius. It has nothing to do with physical strength; it is a mental, emotional, soul strength that is stoked and fired up with this card. It brings up an instinctive understanding that we must walk through a “night between two days” to truly know ourselves and what we are capable of. That is the initiation; to truly know the depth of your ability to walk through darkness and come out brighter than before.

You’ve been through this initiation many times before, Aquarius. You know that every time you step forward to place your hands on the lion, as the woman is doing in the Strength card, you are shown that what scares you or holds you back is nothing but vapor. Take big, brave steps—within those steps are the keys to a big personal expansion this month. The Strength card asks us to befriend something that scares us. To say yes to it—to invite it in and listen to what it has to say.

It is very similar to the Buddha inviting Mara in for tea; the more we say yes to the things that bring up fear, the faster they will dissipate. You’re being invited to regard whatever you’ve got going on in your life with the heart of a warrior, Aquarius. To be brave and courageous. To move, travel, tell them you love them, show everyone your art, tell your boss you’re quitting—to embrace the lion with softness and trust. Whether internal or external, this place of fear actually has a very important message for you. It is bringing a treasure, make no mistake.

For the more courageous you are this month, the more abundance will flow into your life—monetary or otherwise. You came here to live in a very different frequency than the rest of us, Aquarius. The more you claim it, the more your life will overflow with what you truly desire. That’s the mastery of the Strength card in the first place—to venture past what scares us into the medicine that lies on the other side of the fear. The medicine is truly that we don’t have to let fear stop us from being in our power. Any piece of you that doesn’t want to be seen in the realm of what you are passionate about is the piece to be untangled this month. Step up, speak up, be freed.

Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Lindsay here and follow her on Instagram.

Pisces :: Pisces Rising / Ace of Wands
Ace of Wands is all about sharing with the world who you are and what you’re here to do, Pisces. An extremely valuable energy, it can feel like we are blazing forth through life on a wave of energetic passion in this card. Other times it can feel like a much quieter thing. No matter how it feels, use it. When we get the chance to create fire, we use it. Whether you’re crafting a little campfire to cook your food, or a bonfire to conduct ceremony with dozens of people, you have been initiated by fire and by creativity with this card. You must use it well, and share your gifts with the world.

The message that I keep getting for you this month, Pisces, is a deeply resounding: “you’re ready.” You’re ready. You’re always going to be the deep and watery starbabes that you are. It is really about finding a safe way to be out in the world and rock out your dream, blending fire with your water; whatever feels emotionally, psychically and mentally stable and consistent for you, walk in that direction. Some of you are doing this beautifully, but the heaviness of the world is still tough on any Pisces, mainly because you are picking up on all the heaviness, competition and blocked energy out there. No matter where the source of it springs from, it can be tough to bear after a while. How do you cope? You use the Ace of Wands.

You let the fire come through you to be a magical ally for the water within. In other words, you have to start working with the idea that while you might absorb a ton from others, it’s your responsibility to wring out the sponge. Cleanse it with your inner water, let it just flow through your nervous system and out the door—then blaze forth and keep going. You have much to do, and much to create, all flowing from the eternal energy of this particular Ace.

You’re ready, Pisces. Ready to “come out,” so to speak, ready to take up space, to claim your power, to live in your flow, your creative nature, and your freedom. Aces are gifts from God: so stretch your palms and heart open, willing to receive whatever inspiration will blaze you forth into your next great creative expansion.

Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Lindsay here and follow her on Instagram.

Aries :: Aries Rising / The Star
Aries, do you remember “Mary Poppins”? She was the magical nanny who swept into the lives of Jane and Michael Banks, taking them on chalk painting adventures and to tea parties with penguins. When the parents have stopped “seeing” their children, when there is a disconnect within a family, Mary Poppins is called. She shows up (literally from the sky) to heal the divide, and stays until there has been a reconnection, a rebirth within the unit. She is the quiet healer of fractured families.

You’re in The Star this month, Aries, and the best way that I can describe the energy of this to you is that of an Aquarian Mary Poppins. She comes to the door with her magical suitcases, and doesn’t leave until the job is done. Her job is to heal your nervous system from past trauma, hurt, burnout, and fear, to reconnect you with your inner child. She doesn’t stir up; she soothes and calms. She integrates. She brings the dawn of a new hope, a new way within our being; she opens our hearts up to the Goddess. Once the work is done, she slips away so quietly we don’t even notice. The Star is here to heal any fractures within your being this month, weaving and reconnecting all aspects of your inner family web, making you whole again.

You cannot go forward without saying yes to The Star. Do you hear me, Aries? The invitation is not going to go anywhere, and to say a full hearted yes to this energy will make your life so much smoother. Don’t worry about the future this month, don’t worry about what’s next. You must rebuild before your next steps can unfold. You must clear, reintegrate, and allow for softness, gentleness, caring, and self-soothing. You must allow the healing to wash over you like a warm bath. There’s no other option for you this month.

Once you have space within your body, heart and mind, so many new things will flow in; so much more will be possible and available to you. Life will be easier and more luminous. This is the deep medicine of The Star. Healing as a requirement, and as a total restructuring of our foundation. Crack open the door to your heart open and let the Divine caretaker, the Star, the Goddess, heal your ancient wounds. Trust and set yourself free.

Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Lindsay here and follow her on Instagram.

Taurus :: Taurus Rising / Nine of Wands
Building up and maintaining your energy wisely is August’s highest invitation for you, Taurus. It feels very much like you are poised on a divine diving board, waiting for the sound of the whistle that will kick off the swim meet. The entirety of the month might feel like you’re on that diving board in chair pose—knees bent, arms stretched out in front of you, building heat. The key will be to hang out in the excitement, intensity and anticipation without jumping the whistle. If you can sustain the build up, this month will be the energetic preparation for the next big leap in your life.

You are really being invited to explore what it means to choose rest within pressure, to find comfort within discomfort. Softness is always available to us, even within more pressured moments. Nine of Wands is a divine signal for us to emphasize physical and mental decompression during an intense energetic time. It is also an incredible sign of wonderful things to come—it really only arises when we are about to embark on a really powerful, energetic expansion. It is important and crucial that you have a full well to meet this new expansion with, Taurus, so take the nourishing rest where you can. If you push it too hard, you will burn out.

August’s key self care tools for you are: conscious breathing, grounding and good food. Starting with breath assures that you are consistently clearing out any stress or buildup of emotion. Grounding is an intentional connection to the Great Mother, to the heart of what it means to recharge and receive. You can start very simply: laying your body on grass, taking yourself to the Ocean, working with crystals. Lastly, make sure you’re feeding your body for health, stamina and wellness. It doesn’t have to be complex. Keep it very light and simple within the intensity of the energetic build up.

Remember, Taurus, this is all happening because you’re ready for a soul stretch! For a heightened ability to take on more passion projects. It’s a really juicy time. Really be present and mindful, say yes to active and empowered self care—it is all in the name of giving your body what it needs to sustain these high frequency energies without pushing yourself too hard. It is only bringing goodness your way. Hold the pose until you hear the whistle.

Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Lindsay here and follow her on Instagram.

Gemini :: Gemini Rising / King of Cups
This month is a powerful leveling up for you, Gemini, especially around the areas of creativity, emotional balance and leadership. King of Cups is a really beautiful energy and a true emotional master. What does that mean? It means he is someone who has truly embodied what it is to differentiate between feeling and fact, and chooses to live exclusively in the realm of truth. The waters may swirl, storms may arise, but King of Cups understands that he is the unshakable container that holds everything—he knows that whatever he is feeling cannot be bigger than him, which is exactly what makes him a great leader.

As a result of this mastery, he is gentle and emotionally available. He’s a beautiful listener, and can weather most things. King of Cups is someone who can be of service even when they have a headache, personal issues, or stuff on their mind. It’s not that King of Cups is pushing, forcing or hiding anything he’s going through—he just knows how to walk in both worlds. He knows how to care for a headache and go about his day, all in the name of sacred service. August is going to give you situation after situation to invite you up into this mastery, too, Gemini—into the place of holding those two worlds within yourself. Even if you are not in healing work, this energy will be important and useful to you. It will make you better parents, lovers, co-workers and humans on the planet.

The first place to start is by doing deep inquiry and grounding work on your thoughts: are they feeling or fact? What are you believing? Are you more in the inner world than the outer world. Very important questions. The second is to step up into more service, whatever that means to you. Say yes to giving a little bit more. Be willing to consider that by being available to others, you’re also giving a healing to yourself. It will show and prove to you how expanded you are and how much more so you can become.

You will have so much more room in you for creativity, for psychic flow, and for mindful peace in this card, too. Once you loosen the slack on absorbing all the emotional business around you, you will see where this great emotional and intuitive leader lives in yourself. Be willing to be of service and not take it home with you—you have a lot more room on your plate than you believe you do.

Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Lindsay here and follow her on Instagram.

Cancer :: Cancer Rising / Four of Cups
Rest and digest is your mantra this month, Cancer. Live, eat, drink and breath this wisdom over and over again. Say no when it is really a no for you. Process what’s already come. Give yourself generous space and time socially, romantically and emotionally. It is imperative that you honor August as an important transition, a portal, one that has the potential to foster a deep and unshakable trust within you. It is here to help you embody that it is safe to rest and take breaks; that everything comes at the right time and you need not worry about missing anything. Truly.

The most important and challenging aspect of the Four of Cups is that of trusting our intuition. This card carries a golden medicine: that what is meant for us cannot miss us. Never, ever, ever, ever. Not even if we disregard it, slam the door on it, wreck ourselves with guilt, indecision, and longing over it. Whatever is ours will always come back to our doors effortlessly; you do not have to question or suffer over your choices this month, Cancer. The emotional break is exactly what’s needed, so give it to yourself.

When we continue to eat food after we are full, we can get a stomachache—and our emotional centers work in much the same way. Take the time and honor your spiritual digestion this month. Doing so will allow all that you’ve imbibed and absorbed over the recent past to really drain out of your system, clearing and making room for the new to drop in.

Honor the tough moments within this sacred integration and digestion with lots of self love; FOMO, or fear of missing out, can really arise with this card, and in a more existential way than we might initially perceive. But it’s all good—its just the brain, the ego, the inner little one. Simply scoop that part of you up, explain the truth to her (that we cannot miss what is meant for us), and keep honoring your sacred space. This is the way we evolve; living our truth and giving ourselves what we need while honoring our fears, worries and inner experiences. Doing so is not only facilitating the integration of that trust in the timing of your life, but also preparing a clean emotional slate for you to receive the new on.

Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Lindsay here and follow her on Instagram.

HOLY F*CK: RELATIONSHIPS AS A PATH TO ENLIGHTENMENT

Posted on July 28, 2016November 4, 2018 by Alexandra Roxo

In her latest Holy F*ck column, Alexandra Roxo finds herself on the path to enlightenment with relationships coach Perri Gorman…

Holy fuck relationships as path to enlightenment perri gorman alexandra roxo on The Numinous — *Lettin’ my hair go full Leo in the Croatian sun…*

I met Perri Gorman when someone who I had met once messaged me on Facebook and was like: “I think you would like this teacher.” Perri was leading something called a “Relationship Detox,” and it DID seem appropriate, since I had decided to take a six month break from sex, dating, alcohol and drugs to focus on my healing. But then again, randoms send me FB messages all the time so I couldn’t be sure.

When I got Perri on the phone she was INTENSE. I’m an intense woman too, so when I come head to head with another of my kind I can adopt a “been there done that” attitude. Like, “Oh yeah, I’m not afraid to look at my shadows. I do it all the time.” And “Um duh. I’ve done the work.” But somehow she convinced me to sign up for her class. And it was the best gift ever. She called me out on places I had been hiding from my truth and still living from deep rooted childhood fears. (Ugh when does it end????!) At the end of the class I felt palpable changes. Like major shifts. Like, I had looked at all of my uglies in the face and hugged them and given them space to, well…turn into butterflies. Cheesy, yes, but true!

I sat down with Perri to try and understand this alchemical process a little deeper.

Alexandra Roxo: Your website says “TRANSFORMATION IS NOT OPTIONAL” in huge letters which kinda freaks me out but in a good way. Why did you choose that?
Perri Gorman: It’s a bit of a story. When I was living in Hong Kong back in 2007 my life felt like Ground Hog’s day. I had actually hit a certain level of success, but I was like “Is this IT? Like, Is THIS my life?” I had a magnet on my refrigerator that was my savior, which said: “Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.” Oh, I must be in a cocoon I used to think. This part sucks. But just hang in there! After my life began to transform (longer story), my online moniker became and still is Bethebutterfly, and the butterfly is my inspirational creature.

Later, I went to a lecture by someone who was also fascinated by the life of the butterfly. She told a story of going to a butterfly farm and asking the keeper; “Does the caterpillar have a choice?” The answer was no. They either transform or they die. It’s not optional. And in this life, I think it is similar for us. Sounds grim but the stakes are really that high.

AR: I agree, and I also feel like the world needs transformation more than ever. Which is what I experienced on your relationship detox course. It’s hard for me to describe how you work though. It’s alchemy! Can you explain?
PG: Well, I am a guide and I create experiences. I walk people down a path that I have been down to and experienced transformation myself. If I haven’t been able to personally alchemize it (whatever “it” might be) I don’t create the experience. Rather than teaching, I help my students facilitate this in themselves. This part is really important. Often if you just “tell” people something, then either the Ego rejects it and can’t hear it—or the Ego hears it, rejects it and turns on you in the process! So in order to stun the ego, you have to guide the spirit and let the “aha” moments come naturally.

Each person has a different speed at which they transform, too. Mine was REALLY slow—partly because I had so much pain inside, it wasn’t safe for it to come out all at once. It was a process. Think of it like detoxing from chemicals. Since your body stores toxins in your fat cells, it won’t actually LET you lose weight too fast if you are toxic because it would poison the body. Awakening is similar. There is a massive pain body that you need to work through in order to open fully.

With the Relationship Detox specifically, it is designed to reframe your entire experience with relationships and have you see the divine messages that meant for you in each experience. By going through the process you are able to let go of behavior that is no longer serving you and choose something new.

AR: In the moments you’re coaching me I always start “strong” and then you get in there and crack me open. How do you always manage to do that?!
PG: I think a big part of my work is feeling “you” underneath the “strong,” which is usually a defense mechanism. It’s there to say “yeah I’m cool, nothing to see here, keep moving!” But if you listen closely there is another voice in there saying, “Hey! Don’t listen to her! I’m in here!”

My work is not for the faint of heart as you know, and I think it’s unique because I live it deeply myself. I am not perfect or enlightened but I have a deep deep practice of looking at my own stuff in every situation. I have unwound some really complex and tricky (and not so attractive) patterns in myself, so I can see the patterns more easily than others in many cases. So if you are like me and you have patterns that fog or trick other people, you come to me and I slice the head off that puppy and you feel so much better!

AR: So how is a relationship a crucible? That sounds scary as hell.
PG: Relationship as a crucible means that you don’t do this fairy tale thing of “acquiring” a relationship and then passing out back to sleep. It means staying conscious within the relationship, and being willing for it to “burn” the patterns in you that no longer serve you. It means looking deeply at the other person as a mirror and using that mirror to look at where you can be a better version of yourself.

AR: Yes! I find the deepest work I do is often in partnership. It’s like boot camp. No hiding! Wanna give us an example of what this can look like?
PG: Sure. Right now in my own relationship (I am getting married in October) I am working on a pattern where I try to fix him when he is down because his pain makes me really uncomfortable. So instead of letting him have his experience, I do things that would make him feel better. That sounds like the “nice” thing to do but it is not the “kind” thing to do. The thing to do is focus on myself, support him how he wants to be supported and not need him to be any way other than how he is.

As I started to look more deeply at it, I was like “Why do I do that? Where does that pattern originate?” It comes from childhood and being afraid that things going wrong were my fault and not wanting to get in trouble. But if I fixed it then that meant I did something good! It’s a rescuer pattern where I get personal validation that I am a good person by making him feel better.

But if we are practicing being conscious, then I have robbed him of his down which it is NECESSARY for him to get through himself to get to the freedom on the other side. By trying to help him feel better, (i.e. distract him from his feelings or helping him cover them with yummy things like a chocolate milkshake) I have helped him numb out and I have kept him from feeling what he needs to feel. So I notice it and then I actively practice doing something different so I can shift that piece of myself internally. It’s a practice.

AR: I love this, and I’ve been on both sides of this same coin. Allowing the uncomfortable is tough. People are always looking to “be ok.” But I wonder if some of us are avoiding the shadow. The truth. The messy side. Hiding under a mask of “zen.”
PG: We all have masks and patterns, which is why relationships as reflection from others is so important. I surround myself with people who can penetrate my defenses so the truth can get through. Of course we avoid it. I don’t think that I ever said “Oh hey, I want to be awake and spiritual.” I was a fucking walking ball of chaos and destruction, and I had no choice. It was transform or die. I had to learn how to use all the energy. For others, they feel dead inside or their relationships don’t work or they are bored. In this sense, it’s like we all have different locks that require a different key.

***

So there you have it. Perri always pisses me off with our work, but then she breaks me down and then I cry and feel so happy and see the light! It’s an amazing process if you surrender to it.

And next up from Perri: self-love. Something I think gets misunderstood A LOT. Self-love doesn’t just mean treating yourself to a mani pedi. It means cutting off toxic relationships. Releasing self-judgment. Body shame. Sexual shame. Owning your voice. Standing up for your needs. Creating healthy boundaries. Self-love is deep. I’m still learning it more and more everyday.

Perri’s new experience, PRESENCE, is all about coming home to yourself through the path authentic self-love. Not in the “everything needs to be good and nice” kind of way, more like “I will sit here with you through it all—good or bad”—something she admits has been one of the most challenging practices for her, and so a major focus of her own healing journey.

Registration for PRESENCE opens August 1 for a limited time. To sign-up, and to learn more about Perri Gorman and her work visit: Theschoolofalchemy.com