SARAH DURHAM WILSON: CONVERSATIONS WITH MY COVEN

With The Coven Conversations, Sarah Durham Wilson wants to help women heal themselves – so they can heal the world. She shares her vision for a women’s circle with serious purpose…

sarah durham wilson of doitgirl on the coven conversations featured on the numinous

“Most women I know are Priestesses and healers…We are, all of us, sisters of a mysterious order.” – Marianne Williamson

Do It Girl founder and former music journalist Sarah Durham Wilson has chosen this killer quote to preface the intention of The Coven Conversations, a series of 13 live interviews with the women she calls “Coven.”

On a mission to help women heal themselves, so they in turn can help to heal the world, Sarah has hand-selected a tribe of 24 miracle-making modern mystics to take part in the series, which will take place Tuesday nights – launching 7/7.

“Sharing our stories as women is what helps us heal, and I wanted to spotlight the sisters who have held and inspired me on my path, and who have also undergone transformation – change of form – to become their true selves,” she says.

As for the title; “the word Coven means Gathering of Witches, while “witch” simply means healer, or wise woman. In fact, Covens were once banned because the power of women circling together with common intentions proved too powerful.”

Which we think you’ll agree, pretty much sets the scene for some serious bad-assery…

Available to subscribers via Sarah’s site, you can sign up and find out more about the series and the speakers at www.doitgirl.com – while below, Sarah shares how to stage a Coven conversation of your own…

sarah durham wilson of doitgirl on the coven conversations featured on the numinous

What’s the ideal moon phase for a powow with your Coven?
I tend to believe Full Moons are the best times to convene in coven. They’re a time of deep celebration, honoring, illumination, and fullness. Conversely, I’ve found New Moon Ceremonies call in our shadow to be seen, which is super important of course, just not for the novice priestess. But then I’ve always learned the hard way…

How do you prep the space?
Well the Coven Conversations are virtual, but if we were in physical coven, we’d prepare the space like we would for a moon circle – which it is, women gathering with healing intention, holding space for the self, the other, and the Goddess. For me, ritual is all about intention. You can prep everything “perfectly” and by the book, but if your intention isn’t there, it won’t be imparted to your Self/the Divine. So you could actually do nothing “physical”, but set the intention of sacred space and healing, and you’d be doing it perfectly.

Still, saging yourself and the area where you’re enacting ritual is always good to clear the energy. Lighting candles, because Spirit loves light, is a beautiful invitation, while calling in the elements (North/Earth, East/Air, South/Fire, West/Water, Spirit/Self), and even casting a circle, all aid in creating space for the ritual.

We would begin by breathing, to bring us into our body, before saying an incantation to the Goddess/God, or Spirit, to bring us into our divinity and to bring Her into the space. When you’re holding a party for the most elegant guest in the Cosmos, it’s about setting a place at the table for the Goddess and simply inviting her in.

sarah durham wilson of doitgirl on the coven conversations featured on the numinous

What’s on the menu?
I’ve learned not to imbibe in “spirits” before a spiritual ritual! But afterward, women like to pass wine or sparkling juice, and bless chocolate and break it together. Eating the chocolate is like taking in that blessing into the body. The Goddess also loves a celebration. Joy is her perfume and she douses herself in it generously. As the Hopi Prophecy says, “the time of the lone wolf is over, gather yourselves.” And I believe this means all rituals now should be enacted in a manner of celebration.

Any herbal enhancements?
Incense. I like Cedar these days, because it smells like my family’s cabin on Martha’s Vineyard, and currently based in Taos, New Mexico, I feel so far away.

Are men ever allowed?
While every woman and man needs to heal their feminine energy and bring it forth on the planet, presently, I am focussed on working with women. We’re healing the body of the feminine to heal the body of the earth – and when sharing stories of the feminine in sacred circles, women, at this point, tend to feel safer with a female-only audience. But stay tuned!

The most pressing topic of conversation for you and your coven today?
Mary Magdalene teaches: “My story is your story,” and that’s sort of the premise for the Coven Conversations. That beneath the character names and places and timing of events, we share similar stories of shame, exilement, self abandonment, fear, healing, and love. The purpose of sharing your story is that it not only heals you, but those who hear it. This communion, of coming into union with your sisters and recognizing yourself in their stories, brings us into wholeness, and oneness, moves us from isolation into community, and from a feeling of being alone to the understanding that we are all one.

Who’s in your Coven, and what does the word mean to you? Connect with us on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter and share your stories of sisterhood

GET A HIGH-VIBE GUIDE TO SUMMER 2015

Check out this Elements of Life reading for July 2015 from issue no.1 of The High Vibe Guide – a beautiful new project from The Cosmic Collective

High vibe guide by the cosmic collective featured on the numinous

Based out of Australia and Santa Fe, The Cosmic Collective is formed of three witchy women you really just need to know about. Under this banner, artists Sarah Wilder and Jo Klima have joined forces with Aquarius Nation astrologer KV to bring you the High Vibe Guide – a seasonal handbook for empowered, high-vibrational living.

Officially launched on the summer solstice, the guide is a 100-page PDF containing all the cosmic guidance you need to take you right through to the fall equinox (September 23), when issue 2 will become available.

Think: high-vibe astro readings for each sign, New Moon coloring mandalas created by Jo, a “creature teacher” (spirit animal) reading for the season, and a calendar of key moon dates.

There’s also an Elements of Life reading for each month of the season by Sarah, with July’s reading extracted below to give you a taster!

To find out more and download your copy of The High Vibe Guide, visit TheCosmicCollective.com

Sarah Wilder, Jo Klima and KV of The Cosmic Collective featured on the numinous
Sarah Wilder, Jo Klima and KV of The Cosmic Collective

:: SPIRIT ::
CORE SELF / BELIEFS / MESSAGES FROM THE UNIVERSE

So far this year, we have had to walk many paths and wear many hats, causing that ‘busy’ feeling to reach an all time peak. So many of us are running around simply living, sometimes our dream lives, but still feeling a disconnect from our spirit. In the times when it has been begging us to stay, to connect, to stop and enjoy every little moment, we have chosen action over reflection. This month comes the full realisation that this is not a way of living that we want to bring into our future, as we finally accept the much-needed help and support our spirit has to offer.

This may be a time of extreme break downs, emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually – most of us will feel this in at least one of these areas, if not all. There is a sense of being completely isolated, alone, yet still proud of how we have managed and carried such baggage and burden. And with this comes an understanding that we had to learn this way, in order to change those things in our lives that were keeping from being lead by our spirit, and living in alignment with our highest good.

:: AIR ::
MINDSET / THOUGHT PATTERNS / CLARITY ON WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW

This month we will focus our mind energy on analysing the situations we are faced with. The inner critic will be harsh, telling us many things to keep us feeling insecure, unsafe and helpless at times. As we have seen above, July is also about us reaching a break point, and having to make decisions now that will serve us better in the long run – which sees us performing a bit of an overwhelming balancing act. Being mindful of the fact that all we are thinking and feeling at this time may be extreme, it’s important to remember that the message here is actually that what we are thinking (or overthinking) is pointing us towards how we truly feel about certain things. It is showing us the places to focus our energy, so see it as a source of inspiration to create the change we need. This energy can feel unpredictable, but listening to your inner voice as well as paying heed to your monkey mind may help you identify clues to how you truly want to be living and loving.

:: EARTH ::
ABUNDANCE / WORK + HOME ENVIRONMENT / EXTERNAL INFLUENCES

This month brings an energy of tough decision making, of having to leave behind something you once (even up until recently) thought was a fool-proof idea or plan at work or home. During the last Mercury retrograde in May, some important considerations arose and now we are following through with the actions highlighted by these revelations and decisions. We are having to stay very strong and grounded as we move into these new, uncharted waters – there may a bit of resistance to leave the past behind, but know that it is for the greater good, and for the good of yourself and your family in the long run. This could feel like the end of a very significant chapter in our lives – maybe you’ll find yourself moving house again, or changing your role at work (which might feel like a bit of a step backwards). Whatever it is, go easy on yourself. Always follow your heart and know that this is important work to be doing for yourself. Making your life easier is key.

:: WATER ::
RELATIONSHIPS / EMOTIONS / COMMUNICATING / MOON ENERGIES

This month we may see some re-adjustments in friendships old and new. It’s finally time to cut the energetic chords with people who no longer serve our highest good. There may be some painful separations, as we can often get addicted to the drama and need a low-vibe outlet, right? We may initially feel we want to do this in a really abrupt and cold way, not wanting to really go into it very deeply with the other party, but know there also needs to be a bit of forethought and planning around this to achieve the best outcome for all.

After all, there’s no need to create negative energy towards people who simply don’t align with us anymore – we wish them no ill will. To serve both parties with respect, we must be firm, but also remain compassionate and take the ‘with love’ approach – without being condescending or passive aggressive. It has to be a heart expression for it to be deemed a successful journey forward. Around the July 31 full moon in Aquarius, everything will finally feel aligned in our personal lives – with our partners, family and friends. Everything will feel like it’s in the right place – for now.

:: FIRE ::
PASSION / PHYSICAL MOVEMENTS AND OUTCOMES / MANIFESTATIONS

This month will feel (and be!) bigger than most others, because we have two Full Moons in July, which is an indication that we’re going to be feeling extra sensitive, doing extra shedding and releasing, and also making some bold moves as individuals. This month will feel a bit unpredictable, but know you are strong enough to handle it – hence why it’s all landing on our plate! There are endless opportunities this month to purge, throw away, realign, let go and move on from things that have been keeping us feeling small and weak. Know that you only really need to hold onto a couple of key things this month, and that you can choose exactly what to take on or not from what comes your way. In fact, this is a bit of a warning to keep things simple, for our own health’s sake!

How are you planning to make it a high vibe summer? Connect with us on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter and share your stories!

the cosmic collective sarah wilder fifth element life jo kilma the darling tree aquarius nation featured on the numinous

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE: THE SPIRITUAL PATH OF BEING A DAD

Be moved, be inspired…fall in love with MEN all over again. Aussie videographer Johnny Abegg shares an intimate personal film on what being a dad means to him

TURNED ON: SPEAK YOUR TRUTH, RESCUE YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Imagine the heartache you’d avoid if you could just speak your truth. Numinous relationships expert Ellie Burrows examines the sacred partnership between our tongue and our heart chakra…Portraits: Mikal Marie Photography

Ellie Burrows writing on relationships for The Numinous

I believe in astrologers, tarot card readers, psychics and mediums. However, I do not believe my boyfriend is a mind reader.

Most people are the opposite. They don’t believe in astrologers, tarot card readers, psychics and mediums. However, they think their boyfriends, spouses, partners and lovers should be able to intuit what they’re thinking.

It makes my brain explode.

For clarity’s sake, I’m not talking about couples and friends who can finish each other’s sentences. Although sweet and impressive, that kind of reminds me of what happens when women live together and all start their monthly cycles at the same time. A bit of a stretch maybe, but I think we all can all agree that when you spend enough time with other humans you begin to adopt their mechanics.

No, I’m talking about when you lash out at your partner for not knowing how you wanted something done. For buying the wrong brand of organic milk, for not pleasuring you properly, or, most commonly, for not knowing why you’re upset.

Thinking about this, I reached out to a guy friend who writes relationship advice for some major publications. I asked him for a concrete example in which someone’s partner thinks he or she is a mind reader. He responded with a one liner email: “Uhm. Yeah. My life.” I quickly realized no one was safe from this issue and that it needed addressing.

Enter my friend, let’s call her Sage (this is The Numinous after all).

Sage and I had had a long, very tiring day running around outside the city for various obligations. For a few reasons that I promised not to disclose in this article, her emotions were at “an all time high, like freak out level.” And, unfortunately for her and her wicked attitude, she was scheduled to have dinner with her husband and another couple later that evening. All Sage wanted to do was cancel her plans, spend a quiet night on her sofa with her man and quite possibly have sex.

Cut to 5pm, us stuck in traffic on our way back into the city, and Sage astutely describing our state as “eternally stuck in midtown.” A bad situation was getting worse.

Meanwhile, in another dimension called Downtown, Sage’s husband had enjoyed a gloriously leisurely Saturday. Having spent all day at home, he’d decided to run some errands and notified her by text that he was headed out now and would meet her at dinner.

Oh no he didn’t.

Everyone. Run for cover.

The conversation escalated quickly. Sage couldn’t understand why he decided to leave just as she was coming home. She thought it was “rude and unnecessary, when they hadn’t seen each other all day. How could he be so thoughtless?”

But Sage was saying this to me. Not to him.

Ellie Burrows relationships expert for The Numinous

As if it was the most obvious thing in the world (because it was) I turned to her and calmly responded: “Why can’t you just ask for what you want, and tell him what you need? Ask him to cancel the plans and stay home with you instead.” But Sage wouldn’t say it. Sage couldn’t say it. She rolled her eyes, let out an “ugh” and told me that wasn’t the point. I felt pressure in my chest. My heart constricted a little.

Sadly, the story of Sage is a universal tale – and I believe it’s deeply tied to desire.

My first piece in this series was all about arousal energy, Qi, and how when we allow ourselves to open and soften it can circulate within and excite us. I wrote: “for me, arousal is really about accessing the heart and I use my whole being and all my senses to do that. If my heart isn’t activated and engaged, then I can’t be turned on.”

Now Sage had no problem accessing her heart. Her heart knew what it wanted, but was trying to reach her husband’s mind without going via the tongue. The energetic equivalent of: “do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars.”

If in Chinese medicine the meridians are the paths or channels in the body through which the Qi flows, it’s no coincidence that the external part of the heart meridian is the tongue; this organ and this muscle are bound in sacred partnership.

Now let’s backtrack a little. As babies, communicating our needs to the one we love unconditionally (our mother) relies largely on the power of intuition, as we do not possess the ability speak. And in the beginning that works, because our needs are rather simple. But as adults we have more needs, and those needs are rather more complex. We also have an entire dictionary at our disposal. Yet sometimes, when we encounter what feels like unconditional love again, we regress and forget how to use it.

Put like this, it seems only natural to assume our loved ones should be able to intuit our needs. But the thing to remember is that their needs are often very different to our own.

Any time we use the word ‘should’ we are also creating pressure and strain. Probably not a good idea when it comes to our heart meridian as that’s how heart attacks happen, energetic ones at least. The kind that can take gallons of ice-cream, buckets of tears, and endless reruns of Sex And The City to heal. Luckily, simply expressing the want, calmly and without judgement, is usually enough to alleviate the pressure.

By the time we’re grown-ups, we’ve also hopefully learned that we don’t have to get what we want. But our body never unlearns the importance of expressing what we need.

Do you have trouble expressing yourself in relationships? Connect with us on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook and share if you dare…

BEHIND THE BEYONCE VEGAN BACKLASH

What’s up with the Beyonce vegan backlash?! Body image expert and spiritual healthy eating coach Heather Waxman responds to the haters – and talks to Ruby Warrington about diet and spiritual development

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Beyonce by Kei Nicolee via Behance.net

Beyonce’s fans were mad because they expected a tour or album announcement (to which I say, “Give her a break and get over it, people!”). Meanwhile, many in the vegan community are angry because they think she’s a hypocrite for wearing fur and “posing with captive elephants and tigers” as one person commented.

Here’s the thing: judgment doesn’t get us anywhere. And since I don’t know Beyonce personally, I don’t know her heart and I don’t know her lifestyle, so it’s not really my place to comment. But what I can say is that we need to appreciate how much publicity eating vegan is receiving as a result. Let’s celebrate that! It’s awesome.

But let’s also focus in on what she said in connection to veganism and positive body image. Here’s a direct quote from Beyonce’s interview on GMA: “I am not naturally the thinnest. I have curves. I’m proud of my curves and I have struggled since a young age with diets and finding something that actually works, actually keeps the weight off, has been difficult for me.”

From what I understand, Beyonce started to eat vegan after she had her baby as a way to lose the baby weight in a natural way – opposed to a quick fix. As a result, she said she experienced many other beneficial side effects – like better sleep quality, improved digestion, and a positive feeling that her vegan choices could effect the people around her and the environment.

Which is all great. But I will point to the contradictory of saying you love your curves, but also saying things like you’ve tried everything to stay a certain weight.

If we have true BODYpeace, we don’t feel the need to do something to “keep the weight off” because we can naturally live and eat in a way that allows us to experience peace with our body. As a result, weight becomes a non-issue. It’s just not something you’re concerned about anymore.

This has got to get way harder living in the public eye, and I’m not sure if this was just a poor choice of words or if she actually does still struggle with body image. But either way, I hope that we can all agree that a.) this is great for the vegan movement and b.) pray that Beyonce (and all women for that matter!) is peaceful and happy in her body and continues to make choices from an authentic and ethical place for her.

Read on for Ruby Warrington’s interview with Heather Waxman about spirituality, diet and body image…

Beyonce kale sweatshirt featured on The Numinous
Get Beyonce’s “Kale” sweatshirt here!

I feel like starting to eat ‘healthy’ like Beyonce is the beginning of a lot of people’s spiritual awakening. Do you agree? Why is this?
I absolutely agree. As we let go of foods that are not serving us, we notice that those foods were doing a really good job at numbing out a bunch of stuff we didn’t want to feel. So as we start to eat cleaner, our thoughts and feelings become cleaner too – and that can feel amazing and joyful, but also very intense depending what we were avoiding dealing with. And that’s usually when people turn to spiritual practice for help.

We also see a lot of ‘extreme’ diets in spiritual + self-improvement circles – why is this?
Whenever I see or hear the word ‘extreme,’ the concept of perfectionism instantly comes to mind. And that’s what causes problems, isn’t it? We’ve all heard the cliché “perfection doesn’t exist” – but we don’t live by it as a society, as Beyonce knows only too well. I think most people opt for extreme diets because they think looking a certain way will help them truly love themselves. But that’s not how it works.

I want to add that I actually think that the word “self-improvement” is also damaging, particularly for sensitive souls, because it implies we’re somehow not good enough, which only perpetuates the quest for perfection. What I’ve come to conclude lately is that we’re not necessarily here to improve ourselves. It’s more that embarking on a spiritual path the aim is to become more of ourselves. It’s more about an unfolding, a peeling back, layer by layer, of who we thought we were, only to allow who we really are to be revealed. Which can be messy, beautiful, and terrifying! But, I believe, it’s what we’re all called to do.

But discipline and asceticism have long been associated with spiritual development – do you see echoes of this in things like juice cleansing, etc?
I do, but I think we need to define “discipline” before we dive into this. The word has the same root as the word “disciple” – which means to be a devotee of a certain philosophy. But the word discipline has been turned into something that’s just not fun – so, I prefer to use…devotion.

I think when we lean into our spiritual development with a strong air of devotion…that’s when the miracles unfold for us. And so I also think we need to be disciplined with, or devoted to, things that we have discovered we need to do so we can show up for life ready to give love, receive love, and serve those around us.

This can include juice cleansing, if that’s what you feel called to do! But as every individual body is different, I think it’s important to first get to know your body and also to consider your own mental / spiritual relationship with the concept. I tried (and failed) so many detoxes and cleanses. So, when it came time for me to want to consider detoxing for spiritual purposes, I had to first heal the mental issues I had with cleanses and learn the real “why” behind them, before I was ready to check it out.

What are the warning signs for you as a coach that healthy has tipped into obsessive?
There are a bunch of warning signs, but these are the most common ones I have seen, and they’re always present in my clients.

– You know things have turned obsessive if you’re doing one or more of these:
– You’re constantly thinking about your next meal and counting calories
– You’re obsessed with counting your macros, or avoiding certain foods or food groups because you’re afraid they’ll make you gain weight
– You’re avoiding certain foods or food groups because you want to “fit in” with the fitness / spiritual community you’re a apart of
– You restrict your food all day and then binge eat at night
– You have to work out for a specific amount of time or you have to do a specific type of workout because you’re afraid of gaining weight…and if you don’t have a chance to do that work out, you feel depressed and like your day is ruined

So what do you think a healthy and spiritually aligned attitude to food really looks like?
Our definition of health and spirituality is very individual, but I do believe there is a common thread tying every version of a healthy relationship to food together, and it sounds something like this: “I eat for vitality, freedom, and pleasure.” (Notice how I said vitality – not vanity).

This is definitely where I’m at now, and it’s allowed me to feel the happiest in my body I’ve ever felt. Vitality, freedom, and pleasure are not exclusive, though! I went on vacation last week and vitality went out the window for me. I wanted to eat for freedom and pleasure. So, I ate a bunch of things I normally don’t eat when I’m home like frozen yogurt, sweet potato fries, and chips and guacamole. It was great! When I returned home, I couldn’t wait to return to feeling that vitality. It’s a constant dance.

And what role does taking pleasure in what we eat play in our spiritual development?
Do you have a year to talk about this?! I think one of the most volatile things we’ve done as a society is completely neglect food as a source of pleasure. For example, some of my clients – even though they enjoy eating healthy meals – still equate healthy eating with it being stripped dry of pleasure. Or they think of making meals as another annoying chore on their to-do list instead of an incredible act of self-care and self-pleasure. We’ve lost touch with our feminine relationship to food – which means that for a lot of us, our bodies and our souls are screaming at us, “I just want to feel pleasure!” Enter those “guilty” vegan ice cream binges.

When we hear the word “pleasure” we instantly think of sex. But to me, pleasure is about actively engaging all my senses: sight, smell, touch, taste, hearing, and intuition. When we can become devoted (there’s that word again!) to bringing all our senses to every meal, that’s when we really start to feel pleasure and come to a place of BODYpeace that allows to finally feel spiritually and physically nourished.

Has changing your diet connected you to your spiritual practice? Connect with us and share your story on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter

If this conversation resonates with you, you can read more from Heather Waxman in her and Kasey Arena’s book BODYpeace: Release Shame and Discover Body Freedom
– a 30-day guidebook marrying the spiritual and the practical side of food and body discovery. To book a 1:1 session with Heather, click here.

ANDY PUDDICOMBE: MEDITATION & YOUR INNER KNOWING

Andy Puddicombe has brought meditation to the masses with his Headspace app. In an exclusive interview, the former Buddhist monk and trained circus performer tells Ruby Warrington how your practice can also boost your intuition…

Image by Neil Krug
Image by Neil Krug

I first met Andy Puddicombe five years ago, when he was on the brink of launching Headspace – a platform with a single aim: to make meditation accessible, relevant and beneficial to as many people as possible. Erm hello, honorary member of the Numinati right there…

And it’s safe to say he’s succeeded in his mission. What has become the world’s most-downloaded meditation app has since gone on to be used by over 2 million people in 150 countries worldwide – which is a whole lot of actual head space Andy’s created.

And sure we all know the benefits of a regular meditation practice. But does that make it any easier to just. Freaking. Sit? Nope. Like a 5-year-old on a sugar-high, the monkey mind is pretty much always up for a game of tag. But if you needed one more reason to exercise some discipline around your practice, here it is: meditation is a direct route to accessing a deeper relationship with your intuition.

And more open communication between you and that voice = more confidence, more flow, and more of the life you really want. It’s that simple. Read on for Andy’s insider insights…

Image by Neil Krug
Image by Neil Krug

SINCE ADOPTING A (SEMI) REGULAR MEDITATION PRACTISE, I’VE NOTICED IT’S EASIER TO TUNE INTO MY ‘GUT FEELING’ ABOUT THINGS. WHY IS THIS?
When the mind is busy it’s very difficult to have any real clarity around our intuition or gut feel. I often liken it to a pool of water, with all the thoughts creating ripples on the surface. But as the mind calms down, the ripples decrease and the surface of the water becomes clear, enabling us to see what’s beneath. As a result, we find it easier to see things clearly and to hear and trust that inner voice.

IS MY INNER VOICE OR INTUITION THE SAME VOICE THAT ‘NOTICES’ WHEN MY MIND IS WANDERING WHEN I SIT IN MEDITATION?
What notices is pure, naked awareness. I would differentiate this from gut feel or intuition, but at the same time it is still part of the mind, so we cannot say it is separate. I would say that the easiest way to define ‘intuition’ is as the clarity beneath all the everyday clutter. Awareness simply sees and trusts that clarity for what it is.

WHAT KIND OF IMPACT DO YOU THINK IT CAN HAVE ON SOMEBODY’S LIFE WHEN THEY ARE MAKING ALL THEIR DECISIONS ‘FROM THE GUT’ – OR RATHER, THAT PLACE OF INNER KNOWING?
Well, learning to let go of discursive and unproductive thinking is the same thing as learning to listen to our gut feeling. We cannot do the latter without the former. But it is a lifelong process and something that can always be refined. To begin with it requires a little effort, but after some practice it becomes quite effortless.

In fact, as cliche as it may sound, it really becomes a way of being. With this comes a greater sense of flow, where we feel as though we are at the right point, at the right time, in every moment of every day – we are at ease with each and every moment. This is radical, revolutionary and liberating all at once.

Andy Puddicombe
Andy Puddicombe

IS THIS HOW YOU EXPERIENCE LIFE? CAN YOU GIVE ANY EXAMPLES OF HOW THIS HAS BEEN BENEFICIAL TO YOU?
My own experience is not so important. I try to encourage people to examine their own lives, to apply this approach to their own lives. What’s important is letting go, and cultivating curiosity and kindness in your life. But if I have to give one big example, it would be becoming a monk.

Against all the advice, from people I loved, trusted and respected, I knew, without any hesitation and with absolute confidence, trusting an inner voice that had never been so bright and clear, that I would become a monk. So I dropped all the thinking, let it all wash over me, and simply followed that sense of clarity of knowing. It was life changing in every way.

DO YOU HAVE ANY TECHNIQUES FOR TUNING IN TO THAT INNER VOICE WHEN YOU’RE OUT AND ABOUT, OPPOSED TO SITTING IN MEDITATION?
As I say, with practice this really becomes a way of being and does not require a lot of conscious intention. But if you are looking for tips, then yes, take a moment to pause when you are out and about. Whether you are standing or sitting, take a deep breath and as you breathe out, feel the mind sink down into the body as you become more aware of the physical sensations.

Repeat this a couple of times, allowing thoughts to just come and go. As you continue, you will notice that you start to feel more in tune with your surroundings, that the mind begins to calm and the inner voice becomes more apparent. But whatever you do, don’t go searching for your inner voice, this just creates more ripples on the surface of the pool. Instead, patiently allow that gut feeling to come to the surface in its own time.

WHAT TOOLS DO YOU USE TO DIVINE THE ‘INTUITIVE’ RESPONSE WHEN FACED WITH A DIFFICULT DECISION?
I use the tools of patience and awareness. When we are aware, we are present. There is no confusion and we have clarity, with both our everyday thinking and our inner voice. But that does not mean that the answer or direction is immediately apparent.

Sometimes we have to wait patiently for it to arise. But if we are happy resting in the present, with no sense of panic, we realize that we are quite okay to rest with the mind as it is until it becomes more obvious.

How has meditation impacted on your life? Connect with us on Facebook, Instagram andTwitter and share your story.

HOW TO FIND THE HEALING PATH FOR YOU

Ready to explore your awakening, but unsure where to start? Hairdresser-turned-Shamanic-practitioner Wolf Sister shares a simple formula to start you on your healing path…Images: Johnny Abegg

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*Are you at a point in your life where you want to instigate some positive change?
*Are your usual pastimes or achievements feeling a bit lacklustre?
*Do you keep finding yourself back in a perpetuating rut?
*Are you curious enough to dip your toe in the pool of awakening, but not quite sure if you’re ready to dive fully in…yet?

Maybe the thought of making changes in your life seems overwhelming, and you feel like you don’t know where to start.

It’s likely you find yourself looking at others, and comparing your journey to theirs. But everyone’s path is unique, and it’s so important to find what feels right for YOU. This way, you can have what you think ‘they have’ and MORE.

One of the most important lessons I’ve learned on my healing journey so far has been to break it all down into bite-sized goals. Think; what can you do NOW? How can you make yourself feel better today?

So write down some simple steps, and then play pick and mix, choosing one or two to start off with. Focus on what feels good for you, and at the same time be brave enough to step just outside of your comfort zone (this is usually where the juiciest life results occur).

Making significant life changes requires a certain amount of tenacity, surrender, and commitment, as well as a whole lotta self-love – these are the key ingredients for positive transformation. There follows below a simple formula to get you started…

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:: READ ::
There’s a plethora of self-development books out there to help you find the healing path that’s right for you. I’ve noticed that the books we need will often find their way to us. Either by a friend’s recommendation, as a gift, the fact they appear in recurring adverts, or maybe simply by catching our eye in the book store. Books are a great and portable way of absorbing new information, and getting inspired about new ways of living.

:: MEDITATE ::
Have you been feeling anxious and overwhelmed? The quickest fix is to stop, drop (sit or lie down) …and meditate! Just a few minutes of regular meditation can help you develop more clarity and balance in times of stress and chaos. Meditation isn’t just for gurus and ‘enlightened’ beings. You can do it too, and you don’t have to sit in silence for hours to get the benefits.

:: EXERCISE ::
It’s time to get moving. If you’ve been feeling sluggish and stuck mentally and emotionally, physical activity will boosts those feel good vibes – a.k.a. endorphins. Exercise is also a great way of practising active meditation, encouraging you to focus on a single task and bringing your consciousness nicely into the present moment. Regular exercise can result in increased self-confidence, improved sleep, increased energy, and life vitality.

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:: EAT RIGHT ::
What we put in our body has a great impact on how we feel. With processed food, the sugar high or full feeling wears off quickly, and will leave you feeling sluggish and low. If the old saying goes – ‘you are what you eat’ – what do you want to be? Colorful and radiating high vibrations, or over-processed and beige? You don’t have to become vegan overnight or suddenly break up with all of the sweet treats you love. Just start by adding more fresh fruit and vegetables to your diet and drinking more water. Now see how you feel and go from there.

:: SOCIAL MEDIA DETOX ::
There’s almost no avoiding our social media feeds, but is what you’re following inspiring you or weighing you down? Focus on finding feeds that light you up and inspire you and only then click ‘follow/like.’ This way you can make sure that when you’re having a bad day or just killing time, you’ve got an online treasure trove of good vibes to pick you up and keep you going.

:: HOLISTIC HEALING ::
Working with a therapist, in whatever modality you are drawn to (Counselling, Psychotherapy, Shamanic healing, Reiki, Crystal Healing, Tarot, Light Grids etc) will help you tap into unseen layers of yourself. With the awareness of your emotional/mental/energetic blocks these modalities bring, you will be better equipped to dissipate any restrictions that may have been influencing your life until now.

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Having regular sessions with a healer encourages you to make time for yourself, escape from your everyday routine, and step into your soul-journey. How to find the right therapist for you? It’s easy healers on the Internet now, and lots also work via Skype, so you aren’t limited to people working in your locale. When choosing a healer or therapist, they should be someone that resonates with you. It’s VERY important that you feel comfortable with your choice, and there needs to be a strong sense of trust – so really listen to your gut.

:: WORKSHOPS/TALKS/RETREATS::
Time to find your tribe! At group gatherings such as workshops and talks, you are creating an opportunity to meet like-minded souls and honouring your journey by taking time out of your ‘real’ life to learn about more about the subjects that truly ignite your spirit. Your friends may not be on the same journey as you at the moment, but don’t let that hold you back. Be bold enough to go on your own – and be open to making some new friends!

As you embrace where your spiritual journey wants to take you, it’s likely you’ll begin to feel happier, and so the world around you will begin to vibrate on the same frequency. This is when the law of attraction kicks into action, and more magic starts heading straight for you! So make sure you surround yourself with all the things that inspire you, and people that support your healing journey. Don’t forget…THE UNIVERSE IS SUPPORTING YOU, EVERY STEP OF THE WAY!

What was the gateway to your healing journey? Connect with us on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter and share your story!

MATERIAL GIRLS, MYSTICAL WORLD: SAKARA LIFE

Sakara Life puts the sexy into plant-based cuisine. Founders Danielle DuBois and Whitney Tingle invite us into their Mystical Material world…

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Sakara Life founders Whitney Tingle (left) and Danielle DuBoise (right)

 

Sakara Life is like the final nail in the coffin for the notion that eating whole and plant-based is anything less than seriously sexy.

Founded by best-friends-since-grade school Danielle DuBoise and Whitney Tingle in 2011, Sakara is an all-organic meal delivery programme based in NYC, while the ladies themselves have become poster girls for the movement.

Yay hot blonde girls-about-town spreading the word that whole = food-for-the-soul! But beyond their obvious poster girl credentials (no surprises that Danielle is a former model), hailing from the hippie enclave of Sedona, Arizona, they totally walk the Numinous walk.

“We believe that health and well-being are dependent on several factors: nutrition, relationships, career and love for the self,” goes their philosophy. Which is also a lot about balance (read: eating right all week like totally cancels the vodka shots on Friday night, right?) Read on for a peek into the Mystical World of these pioneering Material Girls…

Sakara Life meal delivery plans start at $99 for a 1-day trial, and are available in these zip-codes on the East coast. The service will roll out in California in June 2015

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:: DANIELLE DUBOISE // MATERIAL GIRL ::

My label: anything from a second-hand store

My shoes: chunky platforms

Jeffrey Campbell Boogaloo Leather Platform, $170.00, Nastygal.com
Jeffrey Campbell Boogaloo Leather Platform, $170.00, Nastygal.com

My fragrance: Jasmine+magnolia+rose

Flora by Gucci in Glamorous Magnolia, $77, Sephora.com
Flora by Gucci in Glamorous Magnolia, $77, Sephora.com

My jewels: Bliss Lau

Elixir earring, $540, Blisslau.com
Elixir earring, $540, Blisslau.com

My pampering: Borax baths

My home: The Line

Tabula Rasa x The Line Oulu Cushion Square, $375
Tabula Rasa x The Line Oulu Cushion Square, $375

My food: Plants

Sexiest Salad in NYC by Sakara Life
Sexiest Salad in NYC by Sakara Life

:: DANIELLE DUBOIS // MYSTICAL WORLD ::

My awakening: Kisses. I always start my morning with kisses

My sign: Gemini

My mantra: “Be the light, always”

My healers: Ally Bogard+Betty Kay Kendrick+Elena Brower

Art of Attention Yoga Healing Cards by Elena Brower and Erica Jago
Art of Attention Yoga Healing Cards by Elena Brower and Erica Jago

My reading: Sakara Book Club

My transformation: learning to love my body again

My mission: To help everyone learn to feel good & sexy in their bodies

 

:: WHITNEY TINGLE // MATERIAL GIRL ::

My label: Hand me downs

My shoes: Cowboy boots

MEXICANA Zapopan ankle boots, $607, Sarenza.co.uk
MEXICANA Zapopan ankle boots, $607, Sarenza.co.uk

My fragrance: Vanilla

Jo Malone Vanilla & Anise cologne, $120
Jo Malone Vanilla & Anise cologne, $120

My jewels: Family heirlooms

My pampering: Energy facials with Maureen Dodd

My home: Sakara!

My food: High quality, fresh, straight from the earth

"Straight from the earth" includes pancakes in Sakara-land
“Straight from the earth” includes pancakes in Sakara-land

:: WHITNEY TINGLE // MYSTICAL WORLD ::

My morning awakening: Spending time being fully in my mind and in my body before sharing my energy with the outside world

My sign: Capricorn

Capricorn ring, Jessica De Lotz
Capricorn ring, Jessica De Lotz

My mantra: “What I think I create”

My healers: Maureen Dodd + Taryn Toomey + my mom and sister

Workout inspiration Taryn Toomey
Workout inspiration Taryn Toomey

My reading: You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay

My transformation: I don’t think I’ll ever stop transforming, or at least I certainly hope not! Change is essential

My mission: Help as many people in the world as possible feel GOOD

Follow Sakara Life on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook

TURNED ON: SCENT AND SENSUALITY

Our sense of smell is a basic bitch. This month, resident sex and spirituality columnist Ellie Burrows investigates a case of scent and sensuality. Image: The author shot by Mikal Marie Evans

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I am a human animal. I know this because I spend most of my time relatively upright asking important existential questions like ‘why am I here?’ or ‘what is the meaning of life?’

But lately, I feel like a complete and total beast. I’m talking about the kind that walks on four legs, doesn’t speak, and just sniffs its way around its habitat. Like those kind of animals, I’ve been at the mercy of my nose.

Recently, I smelled the best-smelling human I have ever smelled in my life. It came from the neck, right behind the ear. No, it wasn’t cologne. Yes, it was just skin. The smell was so compelling, so intoxicating, so layered in deliciousness that I was completely and totally hooked from the first whiff. It was a case of scent and sensuality.

Even for a writer, describing the mute sense is challenging, but I think it smelled something like clean laundry, drenched in fresh water, wrapped in sandalwood, sprinkled with bergamot, dipped in Yerba Mate, and peppered with masculine musk. I realize these could be the notes in a ubiquitous fragrance called “Eau de New York City Man,” but this scent was specific. It was his scent.

Smell. It’s like the basic bitch of the senses. It’s the sense associated with Muladhara chakra: the first and lowest, the base chakra. This energetic center has to do with basic needs and survival. No one wants to have first chakra problems: trouble making money, and feeding oneself. If we can’t work these things out, it’s pretty hard to function in the world. But the smell I smelled, I would happily get low for, like first chakra low. I would literally get on all fours for it.

Sadly, many people are grossly misinformed and rank smell as the sense they would be most likely to forfeit. But smell is associated with the first chakra because it is the origin sense, both in science (did you know our entire brain grew from what was once a primitive olfactory cortex?) and other schools of thought, too.

I’m not a particularly avid bible reader as that’s not necessarily how I contextualize my spirituality, but so many of the spiritual parameters of the western world, are rooted in The Book. So it’s worth noting that according to the Judeo-Christian piece of the spiritual pie, our nose is how we got our souls: “And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.” (Genesis 2:7). And so it goes; no nose, no breath, no soul, no life. The inability to smell is considered a spiritual impairment, as then the body would not be connected to the soul.

Beyond the bible, in all sorts of spiritual circles, smell is wildly important when it comes to creating scared space. Walk through any house of the divine and you might smell Frankincense or Himalayan herbs. When it comes to my own sacred space, I would never sit down to write without burning something like Spider Woman, a handmade incense to enhance creativity from The Sword and Rose in San Francisco.

But sadly in urban society, smell doesn’t get a lot of attention unless we are avoiding bad aromas, or being lured into a restaurant by the part of our sense of smell that’s connected to our taste buds. And FYI The estimated size of the global antiperspirant and deodorant market in 2015 is $18 billion. That’s a lot of hush money when it comes to B.O.

If our sense of smell is the basic bitch, then in modern society sight is like top dog. Although perhaps touch should be alpha when it comes to love, just consider the fundamental M.O. of generation Tinder: we decide whether or not we’re willing to even meet someone via Google image.

Now more than ever the Internet has forced us to determine attraction in the context of sight, and this is highly problematic. Your eyes can’t tell you important things like if he smells like truffles* – or if he will like the taste between your legs.

I remember a period of time when looks mattered most to me, but that theory went out the window when I met a bald, portly guy who excelled in touch. And in college there was this guys who was totally HST (Hot, Smart & Talented), but something about him smelled like that acronym too – if you add an “I” and rearrange the letters. He smelled of mothballs, stale laundry, last night’s beer, and whatever is growing underneath your nails. You could argue that most college guys smelled like that, but there was something in his skin that was repulsive to me. Easy on the eyes, but extremely hard on the nose.

For all the sight hype, looks can grow on you provided you enjoy someone’s personality or feel they love you in the way you need to be loved. But I would be willing to bet big money that the same doesn’t go for smell. It’s too polarizing. It’s too ancient and primitive, too deeply tied to good and bad and fight or flight. I couldn’t hang around a person who smelled vile no matter how many boxes he or she ticked.

I knew I couldn’t write this piece without reading Rachel Herz’s The Scent of Desire and in it she writes this: “body chemistry plays a startlingly large role in who we are attracted to, and our nose speaks loudly to our souls even if it seems like only a barely audible whisper.”

The smell I smelled on him, spoke unequivocally to my soul – but rather than a whisper, it was an ecstatic scream. It turns out it was actually the mating call of an immune system complimentary to mine, a seed’s serenade to its ideal fertile soil. This scent, which scientifically can belong to one person and one person only, was designed for me. And so, my humanity must surrender and be humbled.

I’m an animal. I know this because lately I feel comfortable on all fours and my nose knows the answers to the questions like ‘who should I have sex with’ and ‘how can I ensure my children will survive.’

Fun Facts:

*Some truffles contain a steroid, androstenol, which gives them the musky nutty taste. That same steroid is also synthesized by human males in the testes and secreted by their sweat glands. I love truffles. I love men. Makes so much sense! Makes me want to listen to this.

Also:
No, it’s not pheromones.
Why using your nose isn’t foolproof.
When Kate met Steven.

Further Reading:
The Scent of Desire: Discovering Our Enigmatic Sense of Smell
by Rachel Herz
A Natural History of the Senses
by Diane Ackerman

BRAINWASHED: IS LANDMARK A CULT?

When I did the Landmark Forum, I was following in the footsteps of the most badass people I know – and I learned some invaluable life lessons. So why did I find myself asking; ‘is Landmark a cult?’ By Ruby Warrington. Images: Alex Prager for Garage Magazine.

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Half way into day three at the Landmark Forum, I was ready to run for the hills. Along with 150 or so other people, from every walk of life, I had been cooped-up in a windowless basement in midtown Manhattan for almost 13 hours a day straight, whilst being told that everything I knew about myself, about my beliefs, and about the world, was an illusion. An illusion created by my “always listening” mind (Landmark speak for the ego) to avoid taking full responsibility for my life.

The course leader was busy psyching the crowd up for the “big reveal” – the key teaching of the Forum that would come later that day, embracing which, we’d been promised, would lead to a life of “infinite possibilities”. So long as we “enrolled” everybody else we knew into the Landmark conversation too (at $600 a pop), and then committed to an on going ($900+) study of their “curriculum for life”.

All around me, people had already been having life-changing epiphanies as they’d worked the course – coming out from behind their “rackets” (“fixed ways of being that result in persistent complaints”) and calling friends and family members they had been “pretending” things were cool with to “cough up the fur-ball” of their most shaming truths (‘Mom, I never come visit because actually it felt like you never really loved me’).

Encouraged to publically share their breakthroughs, there had been tears, and there had been cheers. And here I was, feeling an almost physical repulsion to the teachings. Earlier, we’d been asked to identify our “strong suits” – coping mechanisms we’d adopted at key points of trauma in our lives, which had become “ways of acting and being you rely on to produce results and make it in life.” Which, obviously, had to go, along with all the other “stories” you told yourself about…yourself.

I’d identified one of my strong suits as what I always considered a healthy degree of scepticism, or discernment. It’s what made me a good editor. But now it felt like a straight jacket. I’d paid my money and I wanted a breakthrough too! But all I could think, as I took in the scenes around me, was; “OMG this is actual brainwashing in action. Why did nobody warn me Landmark is…a cult?!”

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The “c-word” hit the headlines last week, in the aftermath of the HBO documentary Going Clear – an inside expose on the Church of Scientology. And watching the opening scenes, in which they described the Church’s central process of “auditing” members in order to process their limiting beliefs, I was taken right back to that basement room in the Landmark HQ.

Was Landmark Scientology lite?

The dictionary definition of “brainwashing” is; “to make (someone) adopt radically different beliefs by using systematic and often forcible pressure”. True, nobody forced me to do the Landmark Forum – I actually decided to sign up because I knew so many amazing, go-getting, and seemingly highly-evolved individuals who’d done it, and I basically wanted a piece.

But the constant pressure throughout the course to “enrol” our friends, co-workers, and family members definitely crossed over into coercion territory in my book – echoing the way Scientologists are asked to “disconnect” from any people in their life who don’t adopt the teachings of the church. It’s also the kind of behaviour that gets organisations labelled “cult”, opposed to simply “community” or “club”.

The fact that during Landmark I was also confined to that one windowless room for three consecutive 13-hour days, with minimal breaks for food, and asked not to take notes or go to the toilet (this used to be enforced rigidly, but nobody actually stopped me when I did sneak out for a restroom break), also felt a lot like “systematic” pressure to adopt their teachings.

Then there was the bizarre lingo and double-talk they used to scramble my synapses and “re-program” my thinking. Overall, by the time I left, my scepticism very much intact, it felt simultaneously like a narrow escape…and like there must be something really, really wrong with me.

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Watching Going Clear (named for the ultimate goal in Scientology – a mind that’s completely “clear”, or washed, of negative beliefs), the phrase that kept returning to me was; “the Emperor’s New Clothes.”

You know the story right? About the sneaky tailor who convinces the Emperor his “invisible” new suit is actually made of the finest cloth. In fear of questioning their leader’s beliefs, the Emperor’s subjects go along with it – complementing him on his beautiful new clothes, despite the fact they can see for themselves he’s naked.

And this desire to conform is something I felt they played on at Landmark, too. Deeply rooted in our most basic psychology, human beings are pack animals after all. Positioning yourself as the outsider is also something akin to suicide on a primal level. In ancient times, distancing yourself from the tribe was a sure-fire way to get killed by predators, or die from lack of food and warmth. Going along with what’s being indoctrinated therefore is not only preferable, it’s the only truly “safe” option.

Did that explain why everybody around me was whooping and cheering when the “big reveal” finally occurred…while it seemed to me like the biggest “racket” on the planet?

Coming out of Landmark, I immediately wanted to speak to the switched-on women I knew who’d done it too. I was desperate to know if they’d felt the same as me – or if I was, in fact, a hopelessly repressed freak-a-zoid, too scared of facing my own demons to even acknowledge their existence. The overarching response I got was that yes, it was a huge shame that there was so much cult-like emphasis on “enrolment”, and the accompanying financial hard sell. Because the teachings in and of themselves were awesome…right?

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And here comes the really interesting part. Seven months on, I can see that they were absolutely right – and that the Landmark Forum was one of the most pivotal experiences on my inner journey to date.

We are all slaves to our monkey minds; we do self-sabotage with the stories we choose to believe about ourselves; and we do have to allow ourselves to be vulnerable, to “look bad”, and to see beyond the illusion of reality, in order to evolve into the highest expression of ourselves. It is in this place of ultimately authentic self-expression that a life of infinite possibility lies.

Behind all the crazy linguistics and mental manipulation, these are the central teachings of Landmark (and of Scientology, from what I’ve read, not to mention Buddhist philosophy!). With hindsight, I can see how having them strong-armed into my psyche over that one mind-bending weekend last September forced me, on some deep level, to accept and work with limiting parts of myself I used to believe were unassailable.

I’ve since had the kind of searingly honest conversations with my mother that have taken our relationship to a whole other level. I no longer blindly accept what my belief system tells me, and look instead to the cold, hard facts of life.

And if I railed against actually calling any people in my life to “get complete” during my Landmark weekend (I had a lengthy email exchange with my mom, and called a friend to confess a very innocuous white lie), I have since embraced the concept of not sugar-coating stuff for fear of upsetting people, or getting a bad reaction – and seen massive benefits. All common sense stuff, actually, “but delivered in an environment of startling intensity,” as another journalist wrote about Landmark.

As for the “big reveal”? You’ll have to do the Forum and find out what it is for yourself. And if that means I’m now “enrolling” you – well, there must be some chinks in my sceptical strong suit after all.

Have you done the Landmark Forum? What did you get out of it? Connect and share your stories on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook

To find out more about the Landmark Forum and their courses visit Landmarkworldwide.com

SEXUAL HEALING: FINDING F***ING ENLIGHTENMENT

Bad sex is no joke. It’s time for a little in the way of sexual healing, says Hanna BierImages: From Sexual Orgasms 1-10 by Romain Gorisse via Behance.net

SEXUAL orgasm no.1 by Romain Gorisse on thenuminous.net

A large proportion of the people I know are willing to settle for “blah” when it comes to sex. My spirit sister once told me about her first time having sex in a bunk bed of an Australian hostel. She basically said: “Well, I knew I had to get it over with sooner or later anyways. I was young, so I thought, what the heck.”

I’m sorry, but to me this sounds a lot like self-rape, the social acceptance of which is alarmingly high. Because to me, saying “yes” to any kind of sex that isn’t rooted in complete transcendence and sexual rapture is an act of self-violence. Sex is a sacred act! Why would we want to settle for anything less than mind-blowing, life-altering boner sessions?

But as the saying goes; “Sex is like pizza, even if it’s bad, it’s still pretty good.” And so no wonder there’s an epidemic of 15-minute fucks, with only the privileged / lucky few having been awakened to the power of a three-hour sexual prayer.

Before I broke up with my first boyfriend, I was clueless about sexual misery. He happily took care of me for four to five hours, not stopping until my body gave up and my mind, body and flesh had been thoroughly penetrated.

Sexual orgams no.2 by Romain Gorisse on thenuminous.net

And it wasn’t because he was overly experienced or had taken a gazillion tantric seminars before we had sex. It was actually quite the opposite, and simply that he was totally in tune with his cock. He was the kind of skilful that can only come from total sexual innocence. He fucked with his heart, his mind unpolluted from pop culture’s pornographic mentality. He was fully present, just doing his thing. Over, and over, and over again.

How could I have known that such wholehearted banging was actually a rarity? But since him, I have yet to find a lover who’s given me even a fraction of what he was capable of.

This discovery truly shattered me. I began to see the feminine energy around me shrinking and turning pale. I noticed the male getting limp and giving up way too soon. This sexual inadequacy manifested as stilted creativity. A loss of perseverance. Power mistaken for bitchiness. Attention mistaken for weakness.

And it’s infuriating just how ingrained the idea is that the female has to orgasm within 30 minutes, and keep quiet while doing so.

Because the biggest healing potential for the feminine archetype lies in deep and thorough fucking, and there’s no way a lady can find enlightenment in a half-hour lunch break fling. No wonder she backs out and would rather settle for no sex than intercourse that feels more like being poked or stabbed.

Every time we have bad sex, our consciousness is injured in some way, and if we don’t make efforts to heal ourselves from that, our capacity for enlightenment is severely constricted. Which basically means, bad sex = longer soul journey. And we don’t really want that, do we?

So when considering your next sexual encounter, here’s how to not rape yourself…

Sexual orgasm No.2 by Romain Gorisse on thenuminous.net

As a woman:
– Spend time smelling and tasting the person you are sleeping with. Ideally, you’d want to chug your lovers cum and sweat. Our body liquids are nature’s love potions. They contain all information we need in order to workout if the person we’re about to merge with is sexually compatible with us. And if they are, just a drop of their elixir will send us off into the void.
– Notice your vagina giving you signals that she’s truly ready. She needs to be fully lubricated, aching to be penetrated, and energetically sucking in the finger/penis/tongue.
– Now your only task is to open. If you can’t, something’s off. Your vagina is like a compass, pointing you away from spiritually violent sex by not wetting and not opening up. This is alarmingly obvious, yet so often ignored advice. I wouldn’t have to give sixth grade sex-ed pointers if it weren’t necessary. So trust her when she says no. Get ready to break when she says yes.
– In short, if it’s not a “fuck yes”, is a “fuck no.”

As a man:
– Wait to be invited. You can only safely enter a person to the extent that your counterpart sucks you in. Every time you push to open a gate, you violate yourself and your partner. By feeling for the opening and waiting for the call, you give permission for complete surrender by your partner.
– Be aware that the more she gets to open, the more deeply you get to penetrate. So play with it, advance a little and then wait to see if there’s a pull. If there is, go further.
– Practice stamina. Bend life over and fuck it senseless. Over and over and over again. Every time you finish early or give up before you’ve truly penetrated what asked to be penetrated, you are selling yourself sexually short.
– The male archetype enters a higher sexual order when he has perfected the skills of easing the female open. Think of it as opening her legs open, her heart, and her brain. And then keeping her there, until she surrenders just a little more to spill all of herself, losing herself completely in the torment of her sexual awakening.

Do you agree? Or is there something to be said for sex that’s short and sweet? Connect with us and share if you dare on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook

Find out more about Hanna Bier and her work at FreeSpirited.co

MATERIAL GIRL, MYSTICAL WORLD: ANYA HINDMARCH

Luxury and laughter are the hallmark of Taurus Anya Hindmarch. Here’s a peek into the colorful world of this week’s Material Girl…

Fashion designer Anya Hindmarch in a blue coat featured on Thenuminous.net

Award for Best Fashion Marketing Campaign, In The Cosmos, Ever, goes hands down to Anya Hindmarch. Her What Planet Are You On? microsite invites consumers to enter their name and birth details, and then delivers a totally in-depth reading along with all kinds of cute details – like your birth flower, Native American Zodiac sign, celebrity birthday twins, and even the number of seconds you’re been inhabiting your current human suit.

It was actually launched last summer to promote the brand’s SS14 collection, but it’s still live and still totally addictive! And, in our eyes, it cemented Anya’s status as one of the coolest chicks in the industry. Remember, this is also the woman behind the iconic canvas ‘I Am Not A Plastic Bag’ tote, which was launched in 2007 to highlight the importance of sustainability in fashion – talk about ahead of the game!

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‘Wink’ sticker, $45

Anya’s latest project is equally uplifting – a super cute collection of leather ‘stickers,’ which she’s produced in partnership with super stylist Charlotte Stockdale. The idea is you pick your sticker(s), and use them to ‘sticker-up’ anything you like – from your purse to your gratitude journal – while the smily face (see above) is also featured throughout the current SS15 accessories collection.

Anya, for services to astro-geeks everywhere, and for making the world of high fashion an altogether happier place, we salute you!

:: M A T E R I A L  G I R L ::

My label
If not vintage, and I know I’m biased, but I love the Brits! Erdem, Stella McCartney…I also have a rather brilliant blouse from House of Holland. I smile every time I see it.

Erdem SS15 collection featured on thenuminous.net
Erdem SS15

My shoes
Flats by Tabitha Simmons, heels by Gianvito Rossi, but ideally sneakers – Adidas Stan Smiths or Common Projects.

Sneakers by Common Projects
Sneakers by Common Projects

My fragrance
A perfume from 400-year-old scent shop Madini.

My jewels
My wedding ring.

My pampering
Sunday mornings in my bright blue bed, with the newspapers and a big mug of tea.

Lip Tease mug by Reiko Kaneko
Lip Tease mug by Reiko Kaneko

My home
London! With my husband and five (yes!) almost grown up kids.

My food
My husband’s roast chicken.

:: M Y S T I C A L  W O R L D ::

My awakening
A brisk walk around Battersea Park with a girlfriend.

My sign
Taurus.

Taurus drop earrings by Valentino
Taurus drop earrings by Valentino

My mantra
Fire yourself every evening and come back the next morning as your replacement!

My healer
Wine! But truly, laughter. At work we laugh every day, it’s our fuel – laughter and cake.

Vegan gluten-free carrot cake by The Hardihood
Vegan gluten-free carrot cake by The Hardihood

My reading
Sadly, being truthful, my email.

My transformation
I had been CEO and Creative Director of Anya Hindmarch since we started over 20 years ago, and a few years ago I fired myself as (and hired a brilliant new CEO!) so I could focus more on the creative side, which is what I love so much. I’m now Chairman and Creative Director. I’m OBSESSED with craftsmanship, and the magical process that happens behind the scenes when making beautiful things. It’s the reason I do what I do.

Have A Nice Day tote, Anya Hindmarch SS15
Have A Nice Day tote, Anya Hindmarch SS15

My mission
Happy parents make for happy kids. Brilliant advice from my mother in law. And I stand by it.

Shop the new Anya Hindmarch sticker collection at www.anyahindmarch.com/stickers

MY MYSTICAL WEEK: HOW TO MAKE A PRAYER ARROW

Looking for inspiration for your spring Equinox ritual? Why not make a prayer arrow, says Numinous founder Ruby Warrington…

Image: Karolina Daria Flora
Image: Karolina Daria Flora

Greetings from Rancho La Puerta! One of the (if not THE) original old-school ‘health farms.’ Open since 1940, La Puerta is located down in Baja, California, and is basically 3000-acres of orgasmically beautiful ranch where you come to workout, get pampered, and eat three clean, organic, plant-based meals a day, in the name of a total system reset.

Most of the ‘retreat’ type settings I find myself in these days also include a healthy, heady dose of cosmic healing. Just a couple of weeks back I was swimming with dolphins in the supercharged seas directly above the sunken ruby crystal of Atlantis, taking morning kundalini classes and getting high on raw vegan Tiramisu and cosmic breath work (a whole other story, which I will share in detail another time!)

No such numinous antics at La Puerta, where the schedule flips from cardio classes to yoga, and healthy cooking school to lectures on personal development. Sure there are daily meditation clases, and I sought out a heavenly crystal bowl sound healing session (which, judging from the snores, most people were treating more like a siesta), but the focus here is on good, wholesome mind-body alignment. None of that mystical mumbo-jumbo. Or is it?

One of my favorite workshops all week was called ‘Make a Prayer Arrow,’ taught by a local artist named Tim Hinchcliff. Taking from the indigenous traditions of Mexico, he described the act of making our arrows as “a direct communication of heart and spirit, conveyed to the higher powers of Nature.” In other words, a straight-up tool for magical manifestation – and just perfect for the day right before the vernal Equinox!

When I mentioned this, he gave me a look to say; “hell yeah missy, that’s why we’re here,” and carried on talking the group through the meaning of the “votive” arts (from the Latin votum – for ‘vow’). “It’s the same as when we light the candle on a birthday cake, and blow it out with a wish – which can also be seen as an eternal flame, placed in a sacred space, conveying a wish for health, happiness, and pursuit of our dreams.” LOVE. IT.

There was all sorts of crafty goodness laid out on the table in front of Tim, representing what he called the “Five Languages of the Dear” – all of which we would use to “express our focus in crafting our Votive.” And so I invite you to take from the below in creating your own Equinox votive, to birth a new intention for your cosmic journey!

How to make a prayer arrow for your equinox manifestation by ruby warrington for thenuminous.net
My prayer arrow (and amazing vintage mukluk boots!)

1. RICE PAPER – for writing out your Votive / intention. This could be a goal, passion, or offering of gratitude, for ourselves, for others, or for humanity.

2. DOVE FEATHERS – to summon the spirit of the Dove to be your messenger. The Dove is a symbol of peace, love and spirit, and her “coo” is a call to a higher sense of awareness.

3. COLORED YARN – representing either the five directions (in Huichol cosmology), or the Chakras. “Your choice of color expresses you in all it’s pureness,” said Tim, and he explained the representations as follows:

Directions:
North – WHITE for the clouds and sky realm
South – BLUE for water and growth
East – RED for the sacred mother and the new Sun
West – BLACK for the ocean and the dream world
Center – YELLOW for Earth regeneration and creativity

Chakras:
Crown – WHITE / VIOLET connection with infinite wisdom
Third Eye – PURPLE / INDIGO seeing within, devoted intuition
Throat – BLUE / TURQUOISE voice communication, clear thought expressed
Heart – GREEN soul heart awareness, love through action
Solar Plexus – YELLOW gathering of life force through positive work
Seat – ORANGE creativity, regeneration of self
Root – RED beginning and ending pulse, earth beat and balance

4. HERBS / SPIRIT PLANTS – oh the sweet smell of the fresh cut herbs from the ranch! “A small bundle attached to your arrow will both energize your senses as well as communicate your message,” said Tim. The basket contained:

Rosemary – “dew of the sea,” for remembrance and cheer
Lavender – “lavar – meaning ‘to wash’,” to find courage to let go of stress and fatigue, enhance intuition
Bay Laurel – “sprig of peace,” to gather strength to excel and celebrate achievements
White Sage – “wand of healing,” releases entanglements, brings wisdom
Rose Geranium – “hug of the hills,” home and memories, creativity and fertility

5. QUARTZ CRYSTAL – there was also a small dish of baby clear quartz crystals, presented by Tim with the following message: “With my clear thoughts and intentions I have crafted this arrow today, crystal clear and strong.”

Tim then showed us how to attach each of the above to a slim stick of wood, our arrow, starting with the rice paper intention, which we wound around the stick and fastened in place with a small piece of wax.

We then used the colored yarn to wrap the feathers in place, and continued winding yarn around the stick, leaving enough space at the bottom to “plant” the arrow in the Earth somewhere meaningful to us.

The sprig of herbs and the crystal were then tied to the arrow with more yarn, to create a colourful, fragrant totem of gratitude, love and positive intention!

I love any kind of ritual that’s designed to create a physical representation of my inner desires, for myself and for the world I inhabit, and was so grateful to find Tim’s workshop during my stay at la Puerta – where it turns out the magical and the mystical is all around, when you choose to look for it.

I plan to plant my arrow tonight, sowing the seeds of my hopes and dreams for the coming year and acknowledging the experiences that have brought me to this moment. 2015 – we got this!

What rituals do you use to honor meaningful points in your journey? Connect with us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook and share your Equinox stories.

www.rancholapuerta.com

MAGIC MUSHROOMS AS COUPLES THERAPY. SERIOUSLY.

In the latest instalment of Now Age relationship column Yogi Vegan Lez, Alexandra Roxo and her GF experiment with magic mushrooms as a form of couples therapy…

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What do people usually do when they leave yoga class. Drink some water? Go for an egg white omelette? Take a shower? Well, on that Sunday morning my iCal sent me a post-Vinyasa reminder: “Spiritual Awakening. a.k.a. Magic Mushroom Journey!” complete with a mushroom emoji and a smiley face. And so walking home through Williamsburg’s leafy McCarren Park, my girlfriend and I whipped out our ‘shrooms and ate them right there and then. At 10am.

We had both wanted to do something special for our anniversary, and after a friend mentioned a beautiful afternoon she and her hubby had with some mushies, I was inspired! JUST WHAT I NEEDED. If women are scheduling their births these days, why can’t I schedule my DIY spiritual awakening? Plus, magic mushrooms are cheaper than a yoga retreat upstate and can be delivered directly to your house, so there’s really no excuse to not take them, right?

After sharing a vegan club sandwich on GF Rye, we sat and watched the dogs in the park for a moment. Then I was like “Umm, we should walk towards our house. Like Now.” My GF had never been on this kind of ‘journey’ so I also wanted to make sure she didn’t start tripping out while staring in the face of a Frenchie or…um, just crossing the street. Cos that could be dangerous.

I felt sort of like the person guiding the ship, the unofficial road woman or gatekeeper. When she kept saying things like: “When I do drugs I usually need a lot of water…” and “drugs make me feel…” I kept trying to tell her, “THIS IS NOT DRUGS. YOU ARE ON A PLANT MEDICINE ODYSSEY.” She finally succumbed to my benevolent dictatorship, and seemed to accept that a mushroom journey isn’t like a molly trip or a cocaine high.

As for me, this was the first time I’d done mushrooms completely sober of any alcohol and cigarettes. Not the first time I’d attempted an afternoon of mushroom-induced couples therapy though. The last time I tried bonding with my lover this way, we were holed-up in a dreamy Silver Lake cottage where got into a fight, I had a vision of an energetic cut between us where I saw our stars zooming off in opposite directions, realized quite viscerally we were poison for each other, starting having a panic attack, and didn’t sleep for two days.

So gee whiz, why wouldn’t I want to open this door with my new girlfriend of one year, on our anniversary, after an emotional month of me cleansing, quitting smoking, and doing all sorts of energy work?

But we had actually both been sober and clean and totally vegan for over two weeks, and I knew this quiet energetic state was essential to our ‘shrooming success. We continued wandering back towards our house as was the original plan: take a little bit, take a walk, just be together. I soon had to pee though, and we stopped in a cafe to use the loo. The bathroom walls were covered in a magazine collage. Who does that? And then the bathroom started to cave in on me.

I shut my eyes, ran out past the innocent bystanders (i.e. brunch crowd of people not on mushrooms) and what ensued was the most glorious and intense bonding session known to woman.

Magical Mushroom by Kaitlyn Fister via Behance.net
Magical Mushroom by Kaitlyn Fister via Behance.net

We held crystals (and FYI, holding crystals while on mushrooms is like holding an elephant or the sun or rain). We opened a book and could only look at one painting and then close the book. Then we had this realization that if we each balanced our Yin and Yang energies, we wouldn’t be searching for balance outside of ourselves. For someone who is bisexual and constantly trying to balance out masculine and feminine vibes I realized that seeking Yang outside of myself wasn’t necessary. I can align with someone else who has balanced energies and then we are each neutral!

This was our tripped out realization. Maybe we would all become androgynous beings again one day! Beyond gender! (I think I actually read that in some article about the next evolution of humans from a channeled entity…) Over the course of six hours, we laughed, we cried, we had profound healing conversations about life and death, and took quiet time alone.

The different phases of the trip were not too unlike my journeys with ayuhasca and peyote. There was a time of feeling physically unstable or unwell. Then there was some euphoria, the feeling of oneness. Then some darker challenges that came our way. That’s the ‘work’ part. The medicine comes in and gets shit done.

The result was what felt like a month of traditional couples therapy in one afternoon. There were no distractions. Except I kept wanting to eat dates and nuts because I felt I needed to ground myself, but was also afraid I might choke. But besides that it was cell phones off and in a drawer. Computers closed. It was magical.

Like everything in life, relationships take maintenance. As we change as individuals, we are altered as a couple. And sometimes these changes can cause a rift, a damn, a chasm, an avalanche, tidal wave. So if you’re tired of the traditional approach to processing your differences, here are our tips for a successful, and magical, couples bonding day on mushrooms:

PLAN AHEAD. The last thing you want is for your landlord to show up to fix your toilet or to have to take your dog out. If you’re opting to do the work at home, make sure your roomie isn’t planning to bake cookies to house music. If you can get away, get away. But why not try and tune into your own world instead of fleeing it?

UNPLUG. Turn off TV, computers, and cell phones. It’s unlikely you’ll even remember what Instagram is during your therapy session, but if you do find yourself tempted to check it – don’t. Just don’t. In your vulnerable state, do you really want to see a photo of Angelina Jolie’s chicken pox? You do not.

BE PRESENT. When you feel overwhelmed, listen to yourself. And if something comes up, share it with your partner. This is the whole deal with the ‘couples therapy’ thing. I asked my GF a few times: “What’s wrong?” She replied: “Oh, I don’t want to get sad or cry.” And I was like, “You can’t fight it! The whole point is to feel what you feel!” And so we were honest when things came up like, “Oh I was just thinking about when you die.” Instead of running from these things, remember you’re here to learn from them.

THE AFTERMATH. Plan to do something gentle afterwards. Light some candles. Have some soup. A bath perhaps. And WRITE IT DOWN. These lessons are invaluable, and it’s likely you will have been flooded with knowledge and wisdom so make sure you keep track.

And most of all, have fun and enjoy being together! And make your next Couple’s Bonding Day one that includes pizza in bed and SNL re-runs, cuz it’s all about the balance.

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Have you had a healing experience on ‘shrooms? Connect with us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook and share your story…

BOYS TO MEN: A NEW VISION FOR EMPOWERED MASCULINITY

In the age of the Divine Feminine…what about our men? On the eve of the publication of his new book on the subject, Ruby Warrington talks to David Harshada Wagner about his vision for empowered masculinity. Images: Rainbow Gathering by Benoit Paille via Behance.net

rainbow gathering portrait series by Benoit Paille featured on Thenuminous.net

“It’s like a guidebook for men to be more happy and free, but in a way that’s still masculine. And part of it is by owning their role as a male.”

When did you decide to make men and spirituality a focus?
I’ve been totally steeped in the Eastern spirituality thing for decades, but the men’s work was always in the background. Then I got into my 40’s, went through a divorce, got into another relationship, and all of a sudden I’m having a son. And it all just came home.

How does spiritual work look different for dudes?
It’s about practicality. For most men there really needs to be some kind of pay off, where the rubber meets the road. Most men wouldn’t be caught dead in a meditation class or a retreat, unless they knew it was going to help them with their work, their relationships with their loved-ones. They just won’t even do it.

Don’t men sometimes just feel out of place? There’s so much talk about ‘divine feminine’ this, and ‘Goddess energy’ that. I kind of feel like men must be thinking, ‘okay, so are my urges and drives redundant now?’
I don’t think it’s so much that men have that whole thought, like, ‘where do I fit into this?’ I think they just think ‘this is not for me. I’m going to sit home and drink beer and watch the game while my wife goes to the yoga retreat. Because that’s just not something that would be of interest to me at all.’

rainbow gathering portrait series by Benoit Paille featured on Thenuminous.net

So part of it is about honoring the masculine energies as sacred too. On the Eastern spirituality scene the energy is predominantly feminine. And even anti-masculine, in the sense that it’s all mostly about peace, compassion, and softness. The average person, when they hear that I’m doing a spiritual book for men, they’re like, ‘Oh, good. You’re going to teach them to open their hearts.’ It’s like, ‘Yeah, I’m going to teach them to open their hearts, but the book is really about growing a backbone and balls.’

Ha! So should women be encouraging men to go on the yoga retreat with them?
I don’t think most men will necessarily get what they need from bending over in a room full of women. Of the 8% of men that will go, there’s an even a smaller percent of heterosexual men. It’s kind of like we have to go into our feminine to be able to be in that. Or at least fake it. And that’s when you get the yoga teacher who ends up in some sex scandal – because they feel like they can’t just say, ‘Hey, I think you’re really sexy, and you’re my student, but why don’t we go get a drink?’ Instead they feel they have to be like, ‘Yeah, I think you should come for a private session because I need to open your hips’ or something. You know? The heterosexual desire is made illegitimate.

So what are some spiritual exercises that you do with guys?
In my book there’s a big chapter on the ‘father wound,’ and it’s a real central thing for most men. He was my teacher on what it means to be a man, so did I learn from him? I also like to connect men to a sense of vision, because men without a vision are really lost. They need to have a mission. They need to know what they’re moving toward and be able to say, ‘Yes, I’m still moving toward it, I’m getting closer, or I’m going the wrong direction.’ So I try to help men find that. The other thing is to just get them used to being in a conversation with each other.

rainbow gathering portrait series by Benoit Paille featured on Thenuminous.net

Without any beer. Because that’s often what it takes, right?
Exactly. And in my experience, men tend to communicate a lot better shoulder-to-shoulder than face-to-face. I had one veteran that I worked with a lot, and often times I would go sit at the bar with him, with the bartender there washing the glasses or whatever, and we’d do a session. My office, with the chairs facing each other, felt awkward – maybe too intimate.

Who are your typical clients for this kind of work?
What I get a lot is the partners of my female students, and partners of women who are already involved with spirituality. They either see my stuff as a safe way for their man to get involved in it, or sometimes they want me to fix their man. At my Kripalu weekend last year, half the men were there because their wives had given them a father’s day gift, in hopes that somehow they would get fixed.

And…what happens if the wife is part of what needs fixing?
This is actually quite typical. A man comes because his wife tells him he’s too angry, and society has told him that he has an anger issue. So he comes, thinking I’m going to teach him to breathe and not be angry. But instead I break down anger from the point of view of the Bhagavad Gita, which says anger is there when a desire is thwarted. So then I say, ‘Okay, man, you’re angry, and that’s beautiful. What are you wanting that you’re not getting? Like at a deep level.’ And I unleash them to go after what they want in their life. And sometimes that means they go home and they divorce their wives.

rainbow gathering portrait series by Benoit Paille featured on Thenuminous.net

I know you have a theory about the difference between a boy, a guy, and a man. What’s that about?
The distinction I’m trying to make is that a man is someone who’s done some work on himself, and I think there’s definitely a sense of honor and sacrifice and strength. A man is ready to protect his world and serve his world, whereas a guy is just mostly about himself. A ‘dude’ is usually like a hipster, even more self-absorbed. Males in our society get into this really immature self-absorption thing.

How does that ‘man’ifest (ha)?
It looks like; ‘he’s not living his truths.’ He’s either living what his father wanted him to do, or he’s trying to live the opposite of that. He doesn’t really want to sit in this job and work in this job; he wants to be an entrepreneur, but he’s too scared. Or he doesn’t want to be in this marriage because he doesn’t get anything out of it, but he just doesn’t feel like he’s empowered to leave.

And so he makes excuses; ‘But I’ve got to bring home the bacon.’ Or, ‘it doesn’t matter. I’ll just watch some porn, beat off, just try to entertain myself a little bit.’ What I’m interested in is training men to be on fire with passion and vision, so they are bringing those values to their family and bringing that masculine energy to the house so that their woman can be in her feminine energy and not feel like she has to be the brains of the operation all the time.

You can be totally gluten free and only think nice thoughts, but if you’re a terrible lover or you don’t know how to make money, or you don’t know how to take care of your kids, all of that is for naught in my point of view.

What do you wish you could tell the average man in the street about spirituality, and how to tap into his spiritual power in a masculine way?
That they don’t have to do it alone. A lot of men just don’t have other quality men in their life in a quality way, and so they put all their emotional care in the hands of their women. And oftentimes they’re really isolated from other men. One of the first questions I ask any man who’s suffering, is; ‘Do you have good men in your life?’ And the answer is almost always no. Men need a network of other men that they can really talk to about their fears, but also about their strengths.

How are the men in your life getting in touch with their spirituality? Connect with us and share your stories on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.

Men's spirituality teacher David Harshada Wagner featured on Thenuminous.netBackbone: The Modern Man’s Ultimate Guide to Purpose, Passion and Power by David Harshada Wagner will be out May 5 2015. David’s next retreat at Kripalu, Wild, Deep, Masculine and Free: A Weekend for Men, will take place May 29-31 2015.