“Doing the work”. It’s a phrase that gets thrown around a lot in holistic / alternative wellness circles – but what does it actually mean? Is it like the time I went for acupuncture and was given “homework” to do – little sticky packs of Mugwort, called “Moxa”, to affix to my liver meridian and set light to like incense each night? Fair enough, I had been drinking quite a lot to avoid dealing with a stressful work situation, but wasn’t the state of my liver my practitioner’s to deal with?
Apparently not. If I’ve come to understand anything about how real healing, both physical and metaphysical, works in the past year, it’s this: ultimate wellbeing – just like ultimate abundance, ultimate freedom, and, ultimately I guess, ultimate bliss – is a collaborative effort between myself, whichever practise I happen to be working with at the time, and the all-loving, all-knowing Universe itself.
Looking back over the past twelve months, I can honestly say I’ve had one of the best years of my life. And not because everything just “worked out”, or opportunities fell from the sky like globules of golden bird poop. But in terms of my personal evolution, I feel like I’ve busted through blocks (to borrow just a little self-help speak) I wasn’t even aware were holding me back. Well maybe I was aware…but there’s NO WAY I was going to admit it and deal – not in this lifetime at least.
But deciding to face my demons, be my own knight in shining armour and slay the freakin’ dragon once and for all, looking ahead to 2015 I feel simultaneously like I’ve aged a decade and like I’m ten years younger. And it has not been easy. There have been tears, and there has been anguish. There has been much meditating, much journaling, and much reading of books with “Conversations” and “God” in the title.
But above all, there has been a very conscious decision on my part to actually “do the work”.
When I used to hear that phrase, I’d think it was referring to some kind of mystical alchemy that went on inside the body if you did enough yoga, took enough gong baths, or had enough therapy. As if the divine oneness was watching on, and would do some divine laying on of hands to absolve all your issues once you’d reached a certain quota of zen / worthiness.
2014, which shall forever more be referred to as “the year that changed EVERYTHING”, showed me that it’s actually way more prosaic than that. You want to change something? Move forward in your personal development? Bring about the internal “shift” that’s gonna raise your vibration to attract all the abundance you just know is out there waiting for you into you life? Then babe, the buzzword here is action.
For example, it’s one thing to accept that perhaps your cash flow issues are more to do with your attitude to money than the fact accounts clerks get off on withholding checks owed to you – and a whole other deal to weep buckets in a Family Constellations Therapy session as you see how it’s actually intrinsically linked to your Grandmother dying young, and your own mother not really knowing how to give you love as a result.
But the real work? That happens when you then do the Landmark Forum, and realize you actually have to call your mom and tell her it’s never really been okay that she loved your brother more than you, because she’d basically learned how by the time he came along. And then you actually do call her, and there are buckets more tears, but you end the conversation by telling each other how you feel like mother and daughter for the first time you can remember.
Phew! That’s what I call work. And it’s also where the “mystical alchemy” part comes in, because you know what? I’m facing down 2015 in a better financial position than ever. “Money” equates to “mother” in Jungian therapy after all.
And if dealing with my lack mentality was what I decided I wanted to work on in 2014, once the floodgates had opened it turns out it was time to tackle all the other niggling issues I began to realize were all a part of the jigsaw puzzle. Those feelings of lack…well weren’t they also contributing to my inability to share (the load, my visions, my real feelings)? This was another Landmark revelation – the full story / trauma of which I’ll share (now I’m getting better at it) in a later post.
One of my favorite things of all has been learning to work with my intuition this year – you know, actually act on my gut feelings about things, even if this often means taking the scarier, hairier route. If I started to meditate because I thought it would help me get more clarity and focus, little did I know the work my practise was prepping me for was the ability to first notice my truth, and then go stand in it, no matter how many people it might piss off.
And by meditation, I don’t just mean the ten minutes I manage on a good morning. By bringing the practise of being able to step back from my thoughts to everything I do – a hard core workout, a complicated writing assignment, my super intense / difficult / transformational experience at Burning Man, and, yes, my relationship with my mother, has been some of the most important work of all.
I actually predict that “work” and “money” are going to be big themes for us all in the coming months. In numerology, 2015 is a universal “8” year (you add 2+1+5), which is the number of challenges, personal power, and hard-earned reward for your efforts. In other words, do the work this year and the compensation could be bigger than ever. So here’s how…
First up, you need to define what you want to work on. And I say, go big. No shying away from that “thing”, it’s time to drag the monkey off your back, look it right in the eye and declare: GAME ON. (Oh but clue – the real monkey might not be what you think. Like my money issues turned out to be mother issues, the fact you have a hard time holding onto a relationship is, undoubtedly, all about your DAD).
Now just start looking around for the “way in”. Besides the Family Constellations work and the Landmark (which is pretty hard core, FYI), last year I also tried acupuncture, breathwork meditation, had regular visits with a shaman, hit the mat at The Class with Taryn Toomey, and worshiped at the church of IntenSati. Not to mention that transformational trip to Burning Man. Each and every one of which provided an insight, a tool, or a doorway for me to see into.
WALK. THROUGH. THE. DOOR. Don’t just stand there looking at the portal of opportunity any one of your practises has opened for you. Where the rubber meets the road, is where you choose to take action. It’s one thing to get an intense download about your relationship with your father after a particularly crazy Kundalini kriya, and a whole other ball game when you then send him an email laying out all the deets (yes, this also happened to me last year).
Don’t be shy. As in, don’t shy away from taking the necessary action. And if you’re having trouble working out what that is, it’s probably the thing you least want to do. But you know you have to. In fact, if it makes you cry just thinking about it, that’s probably it. Tears – of emotion, of compassion, of release – are often how you know the work is working.
Finally, you’d better embrace feeling a little bit weird, while all this is going on. Our brilliant Tarotscopestress Louise Androlia (aka Louniverse) is also a holistic life coach, and one of her favorite things is to remind her clients it’s actually normal to feel abnormal when your life is transforming, inside and out. So expect to doubt yourself, expect to feel vulnerable, expect to question your sanity sometimes – just don’t expect it to be a breeze, is what I think she means. After all, if it was meant to be easy, it wouldn’t get called The Work in the first place. But it’s worth it.
When can drinking a cup of tea make you feel like you’re “melting into kaleidoscopic clouds”? When it’s part of a Living Tea ceremony, says Madeline Giles. Images: Lisandra Vazquez Photography
Setting the scene…
This time last year I enjoyed my tea bagged, bought from Whole Foods. I took jasmine green for breakfast, cacao yerba mate in the afternoon, and chamomile after dinner. If you asked me what I thought about tea then, I probably would’ve said: “It’s a cozy alternative to coffee. It tastes good. I like it. Yum!” And that would’ve been the end of that. Like most Westerners, I related to tea as just a beverage. A constant companion I told my life’s story to, but never considered listening to for a response. I didn’t know any better. I didn’t know there was more!
Then I moved to California, and by the grace of the tea gods, shortly thereafter I experienced my first taste of Living Tea during a love potion consultation. In one simple sip, the Tea pulled me out of my overly contemplative mind and into my body, where I felt transported into that magically meditative place where everything and nothing is known at once. It was heaven and earth alchemized in one simple swallow, and, as dramatic as this might sound, I felt I would never be the same.
“Really good Teas – that I call Living Teas – are from Old Growth forests in the high mountains and valleys of Yunnan, China and Taiwan, where the trees are hundreds and sometimes thousands of years old,” explains Living Tea founder Colin Hudon. We’re seated in his quaint Santa Monica cottage enjoying bowls of Purple Tea, which smells like wildflowers and makes me feel like I’m melting into kaleidoscopic clouds.
The author enjoys a bowl of Purple Tea at a Living Tea ceremony
“If you think about a tree that’s 100 or 500 or 1,000 years old, it’s been gathering and concentrating a profound accumulation of chi – or energy –from the sun, the moon, the stars, the birdsong, the plants, and all the animals it’s encountered over that time. The roots of a Living Tea tree can grow up to 100 meters deep, so they’re pulling up trace minerals and phytonutrients that we don’t get in our regular diet – that most plants we consume don’t have. Then we process it in a certain way and bring it back to life with fire and water. It’s alchemy.”
Hudon began relating to Tea as a Tao when he synchronistically connected with a Taiwan-based Tea teacher during his travels through Asia in 2010. “I stayed for a whole month at [my teacher’s] home, which is also a center called The Tea Sage Hut. I was profoundly moved by my experience there – it really kicked off my whole deep immersion into Tea. Prior to that it was just a curiosity of mine, a hobby.” When Hudon returned to California, he began selling Tea, serving Tea ceremonies, and ultimately inspired a local tea community that’s been growing ever since. Here, he shares the wisdom of Living Tea…
WHAT MAKES LIVING TEA DIFFERENT FROM CONVENTIONAL TEA? The vast majority of Teas I carry are Old Growth, so they’re from hundreds to thousand-year-old trees in wild forests. Unfortunately, 99 percent of tea in the world today is industrialized plantation tea. These tea farmers deprive the soil of certain nutrients so the trees are forced to grow more leaves for sustenance. Then, they pick those trees eight to 12 times a year, sometimes more.
Really good Teas – what I call Living Teas – are only pruned once or twice a year, and sometimes even left for a couple years, to grow as wild trees in the forest. Also, drinking Living Teas and relating to them as medicinal botanical herbs is very different than sipping a cup of plantation tea from Starbucks, or even a bagged tea from Whole Foods.
With Living Tea founder Colin Hudon
CAN YOU SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT USING LIVING TEA AS A TOOL FOR MEDITATION? Oftentimes meditation is about shunning the sixth sense – the mind. In an attempt to turn inwards [various Eastern] traditions often refer to the five senses as distractions to that path. Yet ultimately, we exist in the world – and you still have to get up and pay bills and call your dad and you’ve got to walk the dog and do the dishes, you know? So the question is: How can we bring that degree of mindfulness, of presence, of awareness, of connection, of open-heartedness to the more humdrum, prosaic aspects of our lives?
Tea is one bridge from the inside to the outside, because if I can brew Tea and talk to you and have a daily practice of coming back to this awareness of my body, my being, and of my life through Tea, then I’m building up this energy of mindfulness. And the more you build it up, the more of it you have. Tea is just one of many tools, but it’s a very profound and powerful tool for this – especially if you come back to it every day. It’s also very accessible, whereas for many people, sitting in meditation and observing their breath – doing some form of meditation or yoga or whatever they do – can be very challenging.
WHAT DO YOU RECOMMEND FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE INTERESTED IN DEVELOPING A RELATIONSHIP WITH LIVING TEA? I tell people you can relate to Tea like a person. Every person we meet, we have an impression of them. Some are aggressive, some are loud, some are abrasive, some are gentle and soft and quiet and introspective and creative, and on and on and on. We meet people from so many backgrounds, and you can’t meet a person without also meeting their education, their enculturation, their upbringing, their family – and the place they came from, which is true of Tea, too.
A lot of times when we do these Tea meditations or Tea ceremonies, it’s about the senses initially, but as you drink tea, if you really pay attention, oftentimes images will start to arise and people can see the place from which the Tea came. We say when She or It or the Tea starts to communicate with you, then She or It becomes the teacher. Soon, how long you steep a Tea, how many leaves you use, what type of Tea ware is the most appropriate – all of that is something that the Tea communicates to you, It’s not something you can read in a book.
“Start with just a bowl and a couple leaves…”
HOW CAN PEOPLE WHO DO NOT HAVE ACCESS TO A TEA COMMUNITY GET INVOLVED WITH TEA CEREMONY? When a person starts to open the door to Tea beyond it just being an everyday beverage, it can be overwhelming. People will go, “Do I need to buy all this Tea stuff and do I need to learn all these traditions?” But the essence of Tea as a Tao, as a way, is simplicity. When my teacher, Wu De, introduces people to Tea, he says start with just a bowl and a couple leaves. Four to eight leaves of a large leaf Tea – because if it’s too small, the pieces get stuck in your mouth.
All you need then is just a way to heat your water, a big leaf bowl, and the leaves. Step two is more about the methodology and aesthetics of Tea, whereas step one – bowl, leaves – is about letting all of that go. You can do that alone or invite friends over and explore. It’s not about conversation, it’s about experience.
WHEN I FIRST MET YOU AND TOLD YOU ABOUT MY INITIAL EXPERIENCES WITH THE TEA, YOU SAID, “YOU MUST HAVE GOOD TEA KARMA.” WHAT DOES THAT MEAN TO YOU? There’s a saying in our tradition that as the man seeks the man, so the leaf seeks the man. If a person has a profound respect and reverence for Tea as a path, if they create space in their life for it, then certain types of Tea will find their way into their lives. If a person relates to Tea the same way they relate to any beverage, then a different type of Tea will find their way into their lives – but that’s true of anything. In a sense, we get what we give.
To learn more about Tea as a Tao and tea ceremony, check out LivingTea.Net and Global Tea Hut. Numinous readers can also get a 10% discount on any purchases from Living Tea – just add the code “NUMINOUS TEA” at check out.
Madeline Giles with Living Tea founder Colin Hudon
Empowering women’s movement, or de facto sex cult? Dani Katz gets intimate with the practise known as Orgasmic Meditation…
“I hate LA, and I hate my life,” I sputter in a flurry of tears, snot and spaz-out, as I drop my purse on the floor of Jamie’s kitchen, and freak way out.
“And my favorite pants are ruined,” I whine, gesturing to the stains dotting the hem, remnants from this morning’s explosion of glass and green at Moon Juice, where my Kundalini teacher dropped an eleven-dollar bottle of algae on my Birkenstock while lamenting the torment of her beloved’s non-monogamous tendencies. “…and everything would be easier if I were dead.”
“And how late is your period?” Jamie smiles, perpetually unfazed by my dark, melodramatic tendencies.
Why I can’t seem to remember that my every twenty-eight day despondency/bad hair day combo is related to the onset of my moon remains one of the more confounding mysteries of being woman. Well, that and our tendency to totally abandon ourselves for the crumbs of affection half-heartedly proffered by the man-children who don’t deserve us.
I reach for my iPhone, and pull up my Period Tracker app.
Period is 1 Day Late.
“I had a feeling,” Jamie nods. “Let’s get you stoned; let’s get you fed; and, let’s get your pussy rubbed.”
While this last zinger might seem wildly inappropriate coming from anyone else, Jamie is a One Taste devotee, an adept in the cult of orgasm, and – as such – her answer to pretty much everything is: Get your clit rubbed.
For those not yet hip to the casual stroking craze that equates orgasm with meditation, and mindfulness with turn-on, Orgasmic Meditation (OM) is a practice focused on female orgasm. It involves two humans, at least one vagina, a timer, a dash of lube, a tightly held container comprised of a very specific configuration of pillows and limbs, and a very (very) precise stroke – a gentle, vertical petting atop the surface of the upper left quadrant of the clitoris with the tip of the left pointer finger, for fifteen minutes.
“Okay,” I sniff, wiping an errant strand of hair from my face. “Can we make that happen?”
“Pfft,” Jamie snorts. “Duh.”
I should probably mention that all three of Jamie’s roommates also OM. Like, religiously, and even then, fanatically, as in several times a day. It’s but a symptom of the One Taste organization’s culty-er aspects – outcroppings of community houses packed tight with pussies keen to be rubbed, and fingers eager to rub ‘em.
“Hey, Dani,” says Jamie’s roommate, Josh, walking into the kitchen all of two seconds later.
“Hey, Josh.”
While Josh and I exchange greetings, Jamie – not one for subtleties – mimes a diddling motion with one pointer finger, while directing the other one my way. She’s a Capricorn; she makes shit happen.
“Wanna OM?” Josh blurts.
For those not living in houses populated exclusively by Orgasmic Meditators, most folks go about finding vaginas to rub, and fingers to rub ‘em on the OM Hub, a private online network available to those who qualify (i.e. throw down the cash for the online course, pass a quiz, and then throw down more for network access; oh, and who aren’t registered sex offenders).
“Anyone near Mar Vista wanna come stroke my pussy today between 3 and 5:30?” reads a sample posting.
The community operates on an any finger/any pussy/anytime philosophy, and the extent to which the randomness of the OM hook-up icks me out has proven prohibitive in my developing any regularity around the practice. To this end, I barely even qualify as a practitioner. Dabbler is probably even pushing it.
“Oh, hi honey,” Jamie said, meeting me at the top of the stairs back when she was first inculcated into the Grand Order of Holy Diddlers. “I’m just gonna squeeze in a quick OM, and then we’ll go.”
I took a seat on the futon in the loft, and texted our friends to let them know we were going to be late for dinner. It wasn’t long before the telltale sounds of turn-on started seeping forth from the backside of Jamie’s bedroom door.
Ew, I thought, scrambling to untangle the earbuds I couldn’t get out of my purse and into my ears fast enough.
It’s not that I’m prude, or shy, or at all delicate when it comes to erotic expression. Still, I just don’t really want to know what my friend sounds like when she’s getting off, much the same way I’m not interested in smelling her used tampons. TMI – way (way) TMI.
Minutes later, a man wearing glasses and a Pokemon t-shirt came strutting out of Jamie’s bedroom. “You next?” he asked, waggling a finger my way – a finger I could only guess was coated in vagina slime.
“Ew,” I snorted, thoroughly put off by the creamy digit aimed in my direction, but moreso the assumption that my holy vag was this random guy’s for the stroking.
When it comes to touching my vagina, the list of those who qualify for the privilege is short, and contained – lovers, gynecologists, the occasional nurse practitioner, and the Russian lady who waxes my bikini line. Hired tenders aside, it’s a highly restricted area, reserved for those I deem special/worthy enough to handle both the sacred wonderfulness that is my labia, as well as my heart, because – like so many people in our culture and maybe on the planet in general, I am programmed to believe that the regions are inextricably bound. As such, unless I’m in a relationship, my pussy doesn’t get much play.
Thus is the beauty of the OM – once she who is grossed out by the culture figures out how to meander her way around its ickier aspects. Hanging out at Jamie’s, as I’m now realizing, is a fantastic method to this end.
“Yes, please,” I say.
“When?” asks Josh.
“Now.”
And so it is that I’m dropping chlorella-stained trou in Josh’s room, while he places a washcloth in the center of “The Nest” – which is really just a yoga mat surrounded by half-moon meditation cushions strategically placed for my head, my thighs and his ass, but which will be honored as holy, and thus entered with the implicit understanding that while so cradled, there will be no canoodling, and no reciprocity. Just pussy-stroking. For fifteen minutes, no more, no less.
“Are you comfortable?” Josh asks, pulling my leg over his thigh, and arranging his foot so that it’s flat against mine.
I catch myself before asking How are we defining our terms? Because, while sure, I’m enjoying a semblance of ergonomic ease, I am also naked from the waist down, lying with my legs splayed to reveal my six days un-groomed pussy as a relative stranger dangles his arm over my thigh. Which – while fine – has me feeling more than a little vulnerable. Plus, there is the matter of warm-blooded man hands touching my inner thigh, of palm against flesh, and – um – the novelty of the connection and the alchemy on this unique, raw and dense plane of purely physical exchange. Which is all to say, comfortable isn’t the first descriptive that comes to mind.
“Uh-huh,” I chirp, because now is not the time for heady unravelings of my mental state, and because Jamie got me stoned while Josh arranged the pillows, and I’m just blitzed enough not to give a shit what he thinks of my spread eagled lady bits.
“Okay, I’m going to ground you, now,” Josh says, mashing his palms along the surface of my thighs.
It’s standard, The Grounding, as is the practice of announcing whatever touch is about to happen. It lends a sterile, business-like vibe to the exchange, which I happen to appreciate. As impersonal as we can keep our interaction, the better, I say. Josh is not my lover. Josh isn’t even a friend. Josh is the guy attached to the hands that are right now mashing my thighs, and my pelvis, and is getting ready to—
Oh fuck, I think, just now remembering the sequence of events, because it’s been a while.
The Noticing.
Please don’t do The Noticing, I think, suddenly observing mild sensations of panic. Please don’t do The Noticing.
It’s my least favorite part of the practice, The Noticing, wherein the stroker ogles the vag in front of him and then shares his visual observation. Out loud.
“I’m noticing that you have one pubic hair that’s really straight, and poking straight up towards the ceiling,” a stroker once told me, as I wished a hole would open up in the ground beneath me, and swallow me at once.
“The outside of your lips are, like, a really dark pink, almost like cranberry juice,” noticed another, as my cheeks turned a similar shade, and I stared at the ceiling and wondered why any and all references to my vaginal “lips” creep me out so hard.
Please don’t do The Noticing, I psychically beg/command.
That Josh actually skips The Noticing is as much a testament to the anti-Noticing trend Jamie will later tell me is sweeping the community at large as it is to my psychic authority. No matter. Noticing isn’t happening. I’m golden, I think, grateful to have escaped the humiliation of Josh’s take on the whitehead lodged inside my inner thigh crease, as he starts the timer on his smartphone, snaps on a pair of latex gloves, and goes about sliding a hand underneath my ass.
“I’m going to touch your introitus now.”
Safeporting, they call it, the resting of the stroker’s thumb against the vaginal opening. I guess it’s supposed to help the strokee to feel held, to quell any lurking fears of floating up and toward the ceiling, of slipping through the cracks of an air vent and being forever lodged in the crawlspace with no pants on. Jamie has developed this annoying habit of rolling the term into her everyday lingo to reference any sort of safeguarding.
Like the time we were invited to our friends’ house for dinner, after a particularly awkward series of texts and naked hot tub gropings, and she said: “I know Michael and Katrina keep trying to fuck you, but don’t worry. I’ll be right there, safeporting you the whole time.”
I appreciated the sentiment, but, the languaging? Um…ew.
“I’m going to touch your pussy, now,” Josh announces as his lube-globby finger makes contact with my clit.
They’re big on the P-word, these Orgasmic Meditators. On the one hand, it’s refreshing, especially given how many Tantra intensives I’ve attended wherein the words yoni and punani are tossed around like so much New Age-appropriated Far Easterly exotica.
Still, if one more soft-eyed dude wearing three-day beard scruff and a rudrakshra mala wrapped around his sacred geometry tattooed wrist greets me by mashing his hands together at his curiously hairless heart chakra, bending at the waist, and purring Namaste, I might have a stroke. To this end, I’m all for the P-word. And yet, I find something slightly confrontational about its ubiquity, as if those who OM are wielding the word in the hopes of inspiring discomfort, verily daring those within earshot to take issue with their languaging, and their lifestyle.
“Okay,” I sigh, narrowing my focus of attention to the point of contact between Josh’s finger and my clit, while expanding my awareness around all the sensation said contact is generating.
“Why can’t you just do it yourself?” my mother prods when I meet her at Pilates a week later, wanting to not be disturbed by this, yet another comfort zone-challenging ritual in which her daughter is dabbling, and yet still not getting it.
It’s not that I can’t; it’s that I don’t. I tend to forget that a) I have a bundle of nerves in my vagina that tingle when stimulated; and b) I can stimulate them whenever I want to. I’m a heady gal – “an upper chakra creator” as Trish, my go-to psychic, likes to say. More often than not, I forget I even have a body, let alone that caressing it is an option. But, even if I chose to remember, OMing and masturbating are not the same thing.
“Ooohh…” Josh groans, clearly navigating a surge of arousal as the tip of his finger waggles up and down and up and down and up and down along the top of my clit.
OMing is an exchange – of trust and vulnerability, and of grunts and desire, but mostly of the electro-chemical polarities that attract masculine and feminine.
“I felt this electrical jolt – like a lightning bolt – shooting out of your clit and into my finger, where it traveled up my arm, across my chest, into my heart, down into my cock, and out my other arm, like a circuit, and then it just kept circulating for the rest of the OM,” said Lance, a guy who once stroked me while I was crashing at Jamie’s, and we were Sharing Frames after the stroking part, which isn’t quite as cringey as The Noticing, but is sort of in the ballpark.
The point is that something larger, magnetic and infinitely more mysterious happens when fingertip strokes clit in this specific way and inside of this container – something that doesn’t happen when I’m jerking myself off.
It’s the electro-chemical exchange that inspired me to try Orgasmic Meditation in the first place, back when I was cozy in a monogamous love thang, and my partner and I read Slow Sex together at a Colorado hot spring, and thus grooved on Nicole Daedone’s whole down with stimulation, up with sensitivity/awareness philosophy, and took to a daily OM practice.
“Achoo!” sneezed then boyfriend.
“Wow!” I said, shivering, because I felt his sneeze in my own body as palpably as if it were my own.
I liken it to Vipassana meditation, wherein the prolonged practice of scanning the body for sensation strips away the walls and shadows that obscure our hearts and our light and our genius. The practice of OMing strips away the walls and the density that obscure not only our connection to our own feeling nature, but to the shared feeling nature that conscious sexual exchange inspires when we know how to work with it.
“Ooh,” boyfriend said, when he hit a particularly sweet spot with his tongue during a post-OM canoodle. “I felt that one in my toes.”
“Do…more…that…” I instructed, palming his skull, trying to catch my breath, “…hnnnh!…”
But, it’s not just instances of Freaky Friday-like feeling-sharing that differentiates OMing from diddling myself. Orgasmic Meditation isn’t goal-oriented – there is no race toward climax. In fact, it’s not even a destination. Sure, it happens; I hear. I’ve yet to climax during an OM, and I have all of zero interest in doing so, and not just because I think it would be thoroughly embarrassing.
The magic is at the edge, which is where all magic lies, and – for me – OMing is the perfect set-up to play with that edge, to redirect the energy that threatens to undo me in a fit of trembles, spasms, shrieks and sensation, and to instead redirect it up my spine and into my head, where it dances between my third eye and my crown, and animates my entire body with a thousand and one lightning bolts exploding behind my eyelids and across my every meridian in fractalized bursts of psychedelia.
“UNNHHH!!” Josh sucks in his breath at the very same moment a jolt of electricity explodes in my upper cervical spine, and then mutters a thoroughly floored: “Whoah.”
“And, what’s in it for the guy?” Mom presses.
I can’t really say, not being a guy or having ever stroked, but that doesn’t stop me from rolling my eyes, and snorting, and saying “Mom, I already explained this,” because even though I’m a grown woman, there’s something about sharing time/space with my mother that inspires adolescent histrionics. “It strips away the layers of calcified density, and renders them more sensitive and available to experience their own sensation through less and less stimulation.”
Also, a lot of the guys in the community are spazzy dweebs who, if it weren’t for One Taste, wouldn’t likely see much pussy, let alone get to touch any, unless they were paying for it.
“Two minutes,” Josh says, alerting me to the impending close of our session with a pronounced shift in his touch – Downstroking, they call it, which is totally applicable when spread eagle and doused in coconut lube in The Nest, but kind of annoying when chatting with my friend over kale smoothies.
“You probably want to downstroke her before telling her you don’t want to work with her anymore,” Jamie advises.
I roll my eyes and vomit just the tiniest bit in the back of my throat, not because it’s not good advice, but because I’m still having a hard time getting used to my friend’s tendency to talk like a cult initiate.
“Time,” Josh says with a massive exhale, removing his hand from very, very tingly pussy, despite my clit’s silent pulsing pleas for him to come back, to stay awhile, to keep doing that thing he was doing with his finger for – like, I dunno…ever?
I exhale as Josh grounds me back into my body, and into the room, again mashing his hands atop my only slightly trembling thighs. He helps me up to a sitting position where I drape the now damp washcloth over my lady bits, and avail myself to the grand finale – the Sharing of Frames.
“There was this moment, when I saw, like, a drop of – um…well, your juices on the edge of your pussy, and – uh, well – when I did, I felt a lot of sensation in my cock.”
I think the point is to get us in the practice of communicating our turn on, and our feeling experience. It’s gotten easier, the Frame-Sharing, minus the moments when I realize, mid-OM, that I’m going to have to do it, and then I retreat to my head, scanning the practice for something noteworthy to speak to. That, and the fact that I don’t love talking to strangers about my turn-on, but – whatever – I’m a grown-up; I can deal.
“There was a moment when you pulled back on the pressure, and I found myself wanting to chase it, but instead chose to inhale into my clit, and found the connection I was craving through my own breath.”
“Awesome.”
“Rad.”
“Thanks.”
And with that, we are complete.
It’s actually my favorite part of the whole experience, the leaving, the absence of lingering eye locks, of nervous heart flutters, of carefully couched farewells that may or may not allude to a deepening intimacy, and to future dalliances that so often never come to pass. I love the none of that. It’s honest. It’s clean. We have accomplished the business at hand – the touching of my pussy – and now that we are finished, I will be on my (way merrier) way.
Back in Jamie’s kitchen, dinner is ready – kale salad with pumpkin seeds and tons of nutritional yeast.
“How was that?” Jamie asks, knowing smile hijacking her perpetually radiant face.
“Best. Friend. Ever.” I gush, proffering the world’s most grateful hug, feeling infinitely less suicidal and – dare I say – pretty darned good.
Dani Katz is the creator of the I Am Calendar 2015, a total astro/affirmation/badass birthday fest of all ’round awesomeness. You can find out more about her work here.
The Cosmic energy this month invites an adventure to the ends of your imagination. This simple yoga sequence for Sagittarius is designed to create space in your mind and body for bold new visions to form, says Ash Baker. Images: Mara Hoffman fall 2012
:: SAGITTARIUS :: November 22 to December 21 ::
Ruler: Jupiter Element: Fire Modality: Mutable Anatomy: Hips, thighs, muscles.
9th sign of the Zodiac
Expansion, possibility and the strength to go after all that you desire. Cue the visionary energy that is Sagittarius! We are now entering the last month of the calendar year, and a fresh new start is just around the corner. This is an opportune time to start meditating, processing, and dreaming about what you want 2015 to look like. Jupiter, the giver of gifts and luck is the king of Sag, so use this auspicious energy to create what you want.
We are also preparing to bid farewell to the Chinese year of the Horse, another symbol for Sag, so take some time now to honor and on reflect all the adventures of 2014 that have brought you to the turning point you now find yourself arrived at.
As Sag is the sign of higher education, whether that be university or self-study, use the longer nights now as an excuse to curl up with a book that expands your mind, or watch a documentary that informs your choices. Knowledge is power for these archers. The practice below is designed to create space in your body for self-inquiry, dream catching and some rejuvenating end of year rest.
:: Pigeon Pose :: Come into Downward Dog. Inhale and lift the right leg up in the air behind you. Exhale, sweep your knee in towards your chest and place the right knee behind your right wrist. Bring the hips to the floor and lengthen your left leg out behind you. Make sure your left knee and the top of the foot are facing the floor. Sit upright for a moment and center your hips. If you find yourself leaning to one direction take a block or blanket under the drooping side. Once you find your center take your hands and place them down in front of you. You can use your breath to go deeper. As you inhale, lengthen the spine. As you exhale, sink further forward, walking the hands away from you. If you have the flexibility, completely fold forward and rest your forehead on the floor. Stay here for 30 seconds up to a few minutes depending on your level of practice. Press up to Downward Dog pose, walk the feet in place for a few seconds and then repeat on the left side.
:: Supported Bound Angle:: Sitting on a blanket, draw the soles of your feet together to touch. Take a block under each knee. Take your hands behind you and slowly lay on your back. You can take your blanket from under your seat and place it under your head if you find that more supportive. Let your arms relax at your sides with the palms up. Relax your whole body and rest for five whole minutes.
*Counterpose- bring your feet as wide as your mat, plant your soles on the floor and let your knees fall in. BREATHE.
:: Supine twist :: Come to your back and draw your knees into your chest. Take a deep inhale and on the exhale drop both knees over to the right. Take your arms out to the sides like wings. Take your gaze to the left. With each inhale allow your spine to lengthen and your belly to fully expand. On the exhale allow your body to twist deeper. Stay here for a few minutes and then inhale the knees back to center. Exhale and repeat on the opposite side. Enjoy this detoxifying twist. Use your breath to emotionally release anything holding you back from moving forward with your goals.
:: Legs up the wall Meditation :: This pose and meditation will create space in your mind, relaxation in your body and openness of the heart by resetting your central nervous system. Come over to a wall space and sit down next to it with one hip against the wall, or as close as you can get your hip to the wall. As you start to lay down flat on your back simultaneously begin to walk your feet sideways up the wall, until your feet are pointing straight towards the ceiling. The knees can have a slight bend and if you want extra support take a block or blanket under your hips. Your hips and seat should be touching the wall, so inch your way as close as you can get. Just rest your arms out to the sides or lay them on your belly/heart. Close your eyes and focus on the sensation of relaxing. Keep your attention on your breath moving in and out. The aim is to create a clear space in your mind in which to invent your future. Stay here up to 15 minutes.
Monthly Mantra: “I ask for, act on and receive blessings in divine timing.”
This week’s Material Girl is MiN New York co-founder Mindy Yang – purveyor of fine fragrance, and pursuer of life’s pleasures…
Mindy Yang is co-founder fine fragrance apothecary MiN New York
Greetings from London! Because I’ve decided I need some sunshine this actual Christmas, I’ve gone all American and travelled “home” (as in, the place of my birth as opposed to where I call home now) for the Thanksgiving holiday instead. The timing of my trip also coincided neatly with an invitation to speak about all things Numinous at an event by global trend forecasting agency The Future Laboratory. Which means we basically ARE the future, Numis.
How interesting that the day of my talk, two friends emailed me the link to this brilliant Huffington Post article by Dianne Collins, author of a book called Do You QuantumThink? New Thinking That Will Rock Your World. In it, she basically says a slice of society she calls The Consciousness Crowd are “the new mainstream”. So take that as your cue to come out of the spiritual closet and fly your Numi colors proud!
As I’ve mainly been travelling and finishing up deadlines (like working on our 2014 Instagram Awards – check it out if you haven’t already), my Mystical Life has fallen by the wayside a little this week (insert sad face). But I did use Gabby Bernstein’s “backpack meditation” (see below) to calm my pre-talk jitters. Public speaking is my big dry-mouth-heart-palpitations fear, but seeing as it seems to be happening more often, I’m actually planning some sessions with mystic Stewart Pearce – a.k.a. The Alchemy of Voice (and none other than Lady Di’s speaking coach – um, sign me up).
So I met this week’s Matreial Girl when I first moved to New York, and immediately fell in love with her otherworldly fragrance boutique. I think I walked away with about a million samples, because don’t you just love perfume? The nose is perhaps the most Numinous of our sensory organs – I’m constantly amazed how a particular smell or scent can become my own personal time travel device, transporting me down memory lane, or to an alternate reality altogether.
Then when I started following her brilliant Instagram feed, I realized Mindy was also a total Numi, and when I had the idea for this column she was right near the top of my list. A fellow Fire Dragon, the world through her eyes is a truly mystical place…and also happens to feature the best #foodporn on the planet.
“Your fragrance is an invisible armor and also what makes you unforgettable”
:: MATERIAL GIRL ::
My label I don’t have one favorite brand, but my love and appreciation for Yohji Yamamoto has grown to epic proportions over the years. Comfortable, timeless and chic, I enjoy wearing artisan garments that are also works of art.
Yohji Yamamoto AW14
My shoes I run around in heels and I have a soft spot for vintage shoes. I have an extensive collection of those. Some of my favorites are vintage YSLs.
My fragrance Your fragrance is an invisible armor and also what makes you unforgettable. As Vice President and Curator of MiN New York and an expert in this category, I am spoiled with rare, niche perfumes from around the world. But my signature scent has been SHAMAN, an olfactory art potion that we made for MiN New York’s Scent Stories, Volume 1. Old fashioned notes like violets, roses, incense, and patchouli swirl with modern aroma molecules (like aldehydes) to inspire a time-traveling mystic.The hologramic effect is magical. Each moment is immersive, yet surreal like a waking-dream… All of it is so very me.
SHAMAN by MiN New York, $240
My jewels I’m not a collector of jewelry, but I have a few rings that I wear daily (for sentimental reasons) along with a bracelet of meditation beads.
My pampering Sipping a well-aged scotch listening to something ambient or blue. Flipping through large coffee table books in the glow of my (MEMBERS ONLY) Union Club candle (bone China, gilded in gold; Scent of leather, balsam, smoke, and fire). And yes, I’m known to indulge in (perhaps too many) massages.
(MEMBERS ONLY) Union Club Candle, $195
My home When my intense days in the city are through, I retreat to a quaint neighborhood called Turtle Bay (by the UN). It’s my sanctuary on the isle of Manhattan.
My food I’m powered by coconut water, fruits, lots of tea, ginger, and mostly food from the sea.
My awakening A glass of fresh lemon juice and water with 8 drops of Cellfood, mediation and a short yoga session, followed by #PhotosForBreakfast. I browze the web for inspiratios each morning, and I share my favorite photographs via Instagram/Twitter/Facebook under @GoDolceVita.
My healer The Healer is in each of us, and I learned to activate my inner power when I became a Reiki Master over 15 years ago. Through reiki, aromatherapy, massage, meditating, working with crystals, mudras, etc, I believe healing is all simply energy. Taking time to recharge in solitude is important to me. To embrace it all and let go, to transform, to inspire, to create. With awareness, you can amplify the good. Perception is reality and a positive attitude is everything!
My transformation If you live each moment with awareness and take the time to reflect, it’s easy to see (and deeply appreciate) the journey. Reiki opened my eyes to a different way of understanding how things works over 15 years ago. Since then, my yoga and meditation practice have intensified my energetic world. I’m fortunate to be able to express myself creatively in my professional life through art and design, in colors, scents, experiences, even music. Now a curious light warrior, I think and live in a empowered metaphysical Universe where the law of attraction rules and dreams come true if you are willing to manifest them.
“My yoga and meditation practice have intensified my energetic world”
My mission Exploring the beauty of moments with gratitude.
Total lifestyle envy alert! Just wait until you read about Rochelle Schieck’s Mystical World…PLUS shamans and Liquid Sunshine in the round-up of Ruby’s Mystical Week.
Almost everyone I’ve spoken to this week has been experiencing the change of seasons like a wall of water to be waded through, or a heavy cloak of fog obscuring all hope and light – myself included. Hibernation season incoming! As a spring baby, I always find this downshift into darkness pretty hard to handle, which can only mean one thing – time to ramp up the self care and dive into my spiritual practise…
It’s also the week I’ve been sunshine dreaming about a January trip to Costa Rica :: drinking Liquid Sunshine from the Montauk Juice Factory :: talking chakras and conspiracy theories with my shaman, Manex Ibar (yes I have a shaman now, full report coming soon) :: mixing Meditation & Margarita’s at Danielle Mercurio’s mystical monthly NYC meet-up :: interviewing the gorgeous Felicity Jones, star of Stephen Hawking biopic The Theory of Everything :: and thanking the all-seeing creator for my new Isabel Marant Etoile flight jacket (seriously, TF for Isabel Marant)
So I first met this week’s Material Girl on the Astro Twins’ Become Your Own Astrologer retreat in Tulum last year. As creator of sensual movement class Qoya, it was Rochelle’s job to get us out of out astro-addicted minds and back into our bodies – which loosely translates as: “host an awesome dance party every night.”
I’ve since come to realize (main via her brilliant Facebook posts) that this is pretty much what Rochelle’s life looks like. Based mainly in Venice, CA, she seems to spend most of her time tripping from retreat to delicious retreat, all in the name of spreading the girl-empowering message that: “our essence is wise, wild and free.”
Rochelle Schieck, we want your life! Here’s what makes her Mystical World go ’round…
:: MATERIAL GIRL ::
My Look I led a Qoya workshop in Woodstock, NY last weekend, and as I was walking through the forest, smelling the fresh air and seeing all the leaves changing colors and gracefully falling to the ground, I felt a thrill noticing the temperature had dropped low enough to pull out my favorite piece of clothing – my Pendelton poncho! I wear it religiously as if my soul is expressed through its fabric and design, which honors all of our indigenous roots. I wear the poncho with black leggings and heels to dress it up, or, to keep the shaman chic vibe going, with my Minnetonka Moccasin booties.
My Fragrance I live in Venice, CA, most of the time, but after my time in Woodstock last week I went to stay with a friend in NYC. She laughed, commenting that whenever I come to visit, my scent of rose and sandalwood fills up the whole apartment. It’s Amma Rose Oil and it is intoxicating. I like to put it on my wrists and neck, but since I’m 5’2, I also put a small amount on the top of my head as a gift to all those I hug that day.
My Pampering I couldn’t go to NYC without making a pilgrimage to Spa Castle in Queens. Four floors. There’s a gold sauna, a salt sauna, a jade sauna, an infrared sauna…even an igloo!! The quintessential Korean spa treatment is to get a scrub and massage that feels on the verge of too aggressive, but leave you feeling like polished gold for the next 72 hours. Rumors are there is a new location opening in Midtown Manhattan in the fall!
My Jewels My best friend since college, Becca Kannapell, started Pound Jewelry with her mom and sister, and they make my favorite pieces on the planet. Right now I’m really into their pendulum pendants – which are completely gorgeous, and double as a divination tool. I even wrote a piece on how to swing a pendulum inspired by my love their jewelry!
My Food Whenever I’m in NYC I end up traveling around the city seeking different variations of a macrobiotic bowl that has rice, steamed kale and vegetables, seaweed and a large amount of Tahini sauce. My go-to’s this mission are Souen (for their Macro Bowl), Jivamuktea Cafe (Yogi’s choice) and Anjelica Kitchen (Dragon Bowl).
My Gift to Me I recently booked a Boudoir photo session with Lori Berkowitz, who specializes in capturing the beauty of a woman in her sensual essence. Sensual energy is life force energy. The stronger one is, the stronger the other. But this doesn’t have to be translated into the framework of sexual relationships with others – it can also mean reclaiming the physical sensation of the divine in your body, and honoring that sensation and the body itself as sacred, whole and holy.
:: MYSTICAL WORLD ::
My Morning Ritual On wakening, I immediately roll over into child’s pose to count on my fingers ten things I am grateful for. Then I slide into half pigeon and feel something I want to celebrate about my life on each leg before laying back into Vajrasana (hero’s pose) and imagining what I’d like to co-create with the divine today. Here’s a free video on YouTube I made for anyone to follow along Bed Yoga
My Sign I AM a Gemini. Gemini Sun. Gemini Moon. Gemini Venus. Gemini! Also Taurus rising, which explains my passion for the body and the sacred work I do in the world focusing on embodying the soul through a movement system I created called Qoya.
My Mantra In a sentence (and a hashtag): “#dancemakeseverythingbetter”
My Healer My favorite healing has always been collapsing or resting into the embrace of Mother Earth. Every jump in the ocean restores me. Every moment of relaxation while sitting next to a tree, softens my body into trusting the cycle of things. Every breath of fresh air in the mountains calms my thoughts and invites me to remember all I have to do is be here now. Every dance around a fire helps me feel the pulse of my own heartbeat and recognize it as the same heartbeat that dances through us all.
However, if my access to nature is limited, my team of healers includes several astrologers, body workers, shamans, intuitives and the occasional impulse call to Californiapsychics.com. I recently had my world rocked (again) by checking in on my favorite Shamanic Astrologer Sao. He is a passionate man put on this earth to assist with the awakening of the divine feminine and the way he gives a reading, it goes into the center of your soul. For daily inspiration, weekly and monthly horoscopes and yearly readings, I love to check in with the AstroTwins who help make everything make sense in the most intuitive and simultaneously scientific interpretation of my chart. And for chart readings assisted by akashic guides, I am grateful for Virginia Rosenberg and Heavenly Bodies.
My Reading With all the Gemini in me I read a lot, and many books at the same time. The novel that soul stirred me recently is Forty Rules of Loveby Elif Shafak, about the true story of Rumi and his soulmate happening concurrently to a modern day 40-year-old woman on her journey to learn the forty rules of love.
I also just finished an advance copy of my friend Betsy Blankenbaker’s first novel, Autobiography of an Orgasm. A nod to Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramahansa Yogananda, it’s the most honest account I’ve ever read of a woman’s sexual journey, dealing with childhood abuse, confusion as a young woman, marriage, giving birth to four children, and then the unexpected turn of events that led to her turning fifty and exploring the connection between the sensual and sacred by researching her relationship to orgasm. It’s part erotica, part informational “how to” and completely compelling.
My Mission The intention behind Qoya, the movement system I created (or rather, is creating me), is to share the idea that through movement, we remember that our essence is wise, wild and free, and to follow the feeling of truth when we experience it in our body. Through my Qoya classes, workshops, retreats and teacher training, we remember that the body is a portal to those sacred moments that can rarely be explained, but must be felt and experienced. To the Numinous!
To find out more about Rochelle’s work and experience some Qoya for yourself, sign up for her free 10 Days to Love Qoya and receive a short video embodiment exercise.
All Hallows Eve is about more than slutty costumes and tequila shots. Here, our favorite modern mystics share their ideas for a super spiritual Halloween… Illustrations: Natalie Shau
Oh, wait…what if Halloween wasn’t just about dressing up as a slutty ghost and getting slammed on tequila shots? What if it were actually an ancient Pagan celebration to recognise the passing of souls, at a time when the veil between the two worlds is at its thinnest? Hmmm…
The way I’ve come to see it, there are two ways to get down and party with the concept of death. Laugh in its face (ridiculous costumes, booty shakin’ to Black Widow, copious amounts of alcohol), or look it calmly in the face and accept what you see.
Last year I chose option two. Dressed head-to-toe in non-costume black, I attended a séance on All Hallows Eve. The messages that came through for people were all supportive and loving, and afterwards we enjoyed a silent (pot-luck, mainly vegan) supper with our deceased ancestors.
Here, some of our favorite modern mystics share their ideas for a super spiritual Halloween. May the most fabulous phantoms be with you…
Halloween is the time when the veils between the worlds are the thinnest, making it an ideal time for you to simply sit quietly and connect with your ancestors. Find some time to yourself on Friday to tune in.
To get into the right energy and to make sure you stay safe, I recommend you clear and protect your energy first. Now turn off all electronics and light a candle.
Using your imagination and all five senses, your ancestors will speak to you through symbols, so be sure to have a pen and paper nearby to record any psychic impressions that come through for you to be interpreted later. When it comes to deciphering the messages in these symbols, trust your intuitive voice – and focus on the feeling associated with what you saw, felt, smelt or heard.
To honour this step forward into the darker part of the year, perform this simple and insightful Four Card Tarot/Oracle reading to honour your own shadow side.
Card 1: What aspect of my shadow self needs some light shining upon it right now? Card 2: What is holding me back from moving forwards? Card 3: What actions will help me nurture and explore this aspect of myself? Card 4: What secret message does my inner soul system have for me?
:: FROM INTUITIVE COACH AND ELEMENTAL REALMS EXPERT MADELINE GILES ::
In my opinion, animals are the bridge between heaven and earth, and thus act as messengers on behalf of Spirit. The below ritual is one of my favorite ways to intentionally ask for answers and see physical evidence of receiving guidance. Do not underestimate the simplicity of this exercise, it can produce many miracles as long as you are willing to trust and allow your intuition to take charge.
1. Prepare for a walk. Before you head out (or you can do this outside), center yourself by taking long, deep breaths. Call upon Divine source/angels/your guides/whatever resonates and the animal kingdom. Set an intention to receive a message, answer and/or sign from an animal who can help you with a particular situation for the highest good of all concerned.
2. Be Fully Present in your walk. That means no headphones, iPod, or cell phone. Really BE with each moment. Pay attention to the animals and insects you pass en route and assess your feelings about them. When you sense a true resonance with a particular animal or insect, accept that animal as your messenger.
(Note: you do not need to see the animal in flesh. If you spot an animal on a t-shirt, billboard, photograph, etc. – honor that. The animal is equally valid no matter the form it shows up in. This is why it’s extra important to pay attention!)
3. Once you’ve met your animal, ask what message it has for you and notice the initial feelings, impressions, and/or words you hear. Really feel into what this animal wishes to communicate to you before looking it up in a book or online. What feels true to you takes precedence over what anyone else says, including experts.
4. Express gratitude and continue to pay attention over the next three days. You can further synthesize this process by tracking your experience in a journal.
:: FROM PSYCHIC AND SPIRITUAL COACH TODD SAVVAS ::
Many people forget that Samhain, All Hallows eve and Halloween (and all variations of) can be used to express your other archetypal natures. Yes, many people express that as being a ‘sexy kitty’ or a ‘slutty nurse’. But why not try meditating for a moment on what your soul truly wants to express instead? This will reveal aspects of your self that want to reveal their power as the doorway of Halloween opens.
For example: perhaps you feel as if this year has been all about endings and new beginnings. You’ve left a job or a relationship, and come to some realisations about yourself in the process. You can call on the power of rebirth and transformation to honour and solidify this, by dressing as something that symbolises, signifies or represents transformation – like a phoenix. After all, the true Magickian owns their every action as an opportunity to shape the forces of the universe.
I suggest running a hot bath, adding some delicious lavender Epsom salts, essential oils and some of my TLC Healing Remedy. Add a rose crystal and some rose petals. Light some candles and put them all around the bath and bathroom.
Lying in this special bath, meditate on your own death, the celebration of passing to the next life and the beauty of life and death. What would people say at your funeral? What you could be doing with your life now to create an epitaph that reflects the impression you’d like to leave in this world?
Meditate on your ancestors and on all lost souls and send them light and love. Send this all over the world. To end your meditation, spend a few moments in simple gratitude for all you have in this life now, for breath and for love.
The short video below introduces the basics of Custom Altar Design – i.e. how to create an altar for Halloween that’s specific to what you want to manifest in your life at this auspicious time.
As the nights get longer, Scorpio season is here to make us face our inner demons – all in the name of transformation, of course. Use Ash Baker’s simple yoga sequence for Scorpio like a physical prayer to take you there…
Madonna shot for H&M 2006
SCORPIO October 23 to November 21
Ruler: Pluto, Mars Element: Water Modality: Fixed Anatomy: The nose, genital organs, blood, bladder and bowels.
8th sign of the Zodiac
Phew – we survived. Coming out of Mercury Retrograde and two Eclipses, now it’s time to transform and integrate what we’ve learned – and there’s no better sign than Scorpio as a backdrop. Symbolising re-birth and transformation on the deepest level, the most mysterious sign of the Zodiac invites us to do a deep dive and shine a light into the Cosmic cave.
Scorpio season knows it takes serious determination to kick out of our comfort zone and rise above the banal. As for the famous sting in the Scorpio tail? Sure, if you piss ‘em off you’ll feel it – but all of us possess that inner warrior, the loyal guardian of our deepest truths.
To harness this energy in the month to come, let us focus on the strength, wisdom and determination of the Scorpion. The poses chosen here are designed to ignite the energy to overcome that which no longer serves you, and to dig a little deeper into your own dark corners to bring your truth to light.
Skull Shining Breath :: Kapalabhati Pranayama This breathwork will help to eliminate toxins, amp up your energy, and get your blood moving. Find a comfortable cross-legged seat on a blanket to prop up the hips and lengthen the spine. Let your hands rest on your thighs. If you’re a tactile person you can place your hands on top of each other on your belly. Take a deep inhale through your nose. Exhale and quickly contract your belly inward pressing all of the air out. The next inhale should be automatic and passive. Aiming for 60 rounds of beath per minute, the contractions in your lower belly should follow in rapid succession. One minute is enough if you’re new to breathwork, otherwise try three minutes. When you’re finished take a deep inhale through the nose and exhale fully through the mouth.
*Avoid this if you have high blood pressure, hernia, heart disease or are a pregnant mama to be!
Boat Pose :: Navasana Come to sit and bend the knees with the feet on the floor. Take your hands behind you with your fingertips pointed towards you. Press your hands and sit bones down towards the floor to lengthen your spine upward. Engage your pelvic floor by scooping the tailbone slightly forward and your pubic bone up towards your chest. This action will automatically engage your abdominals. If you’re a total beginner stay here and just breathe. If you wish to go further, draw your calves up in alignment with your knees, parallel to the floor. You can keep your hands behind you for support or take them behind your thighs. Keep lifting your chest up and keep the spine straight. Don’t let your lower back round at all. To move into the full pose, straighten one leg and then the other, reaching through the toes. Take your arms straight out parallel with the floor. Keep lifting the heart with each inhale and squeeze your pelvic floor (bathroom muscles) with each exhale.
Bound Angle :: Baddha Konasana Find a comfortable seat. Imagine your spine lengthening with each inhale, pulling you up from the crown of your head. Draw the soles of your feet together to touch. If you need a little support or feel a pulling sensation in your inner thighs you can sit on a blanket or place a block under each knee. Take a hold of your feet and pull your chest through your arms to feel as much length in your spine as you can. Inhale your arms up over your head and begin to fold forward at your hip creases with a flat spine until you reach the edge of your stretch. Then place your hands down and allow a little rounding of your upper spine and neck to happen. Stay here and use your breath to help you relax into the pose more deeply. With each inhale lengthen out a little more and with each exhale sink deeper.
*Counterpose: Lay down on your back and bring your feet as wide as your mat. Let your knees fall in. BREATHE.
:: Sea Breathing Meditation :: Come to lie on your back and drape a blanket over your body. You want to be fully relaxed so take a pillow under your head and a rolled up blanket under your knees if you wish. Imagine you are on the beach, warm and safe. Everything is calm and serene. Feel the heat coming from the sand beneath you and a slight breeze in the air. Scorpions are usually linked to fire but we often forgot that they are water warriors, so direct your attention to the ocean. Listen to it breathing, inhaling as the tide comes in, exhaling as the tide goes out. Now listen to your own breathing. Imagine your breath is syncing up with the tides. You are breathing the ocean. Think briefly about what you would like to wash away from yourself. Picture the vast amazing power and beauty that is the ocean cleansing that which you don’t need. Use the strength of the ocean to find your inner strength. Stay with this practice for as long as you like.
Happy Friday! Here’s what went down in Ruby’s Mystical Week, and an intro to the magical Margaret Nichols, founder of NYC’s Urban Oneness Blessing and truly cosmic coach. Her mission? “I want you to be enlightened. Like Buddha. Like NOW”…
Margaret Nichols: “A fashionista in kind trying to spread sparkle…”
Happy Friday Numis. So who’s counting the hours until Mercury goes direct at 2.17pm ET tomorrow? Despite going into this retrograde phase with some serious positive intentions, much like last week the past seven days have been characterised mainly by missed appointments and a total inability to concentrate on anything useful.
But it was also the week I attended a Dinner With The Dead, hosted by Mama Wolf Kelly Cutrone and spookily accurate psychic medium Thomas John :: caught up with the rest of the planet and started reading Lena Dunham’s brilliant memoir Not That Kind of Girl :: embraced the major drop in temperatures and got back into my local Bikram studio for my “winter” yoga season (my kind of central heating) :: and fell in absolute lust with Andrea Fohrman’s Moon phase jewelry (see below).
Moon Phase charm bracelet by Andrea Fohrman
I also interviewed this week’s Material Girl Margaret Nichols, and got a peek into her Mystical World. Margaret actually reached out to me about contributing to the site, sending a link to a post she wrote for the Huff Post titled Why Martinis and Meditation Mix. Hell yes! But when she talks meditation, this girl knows what she’s talking about.
A graduate of the Oneness University in India, Margaret has led a weekly Deeksha / Oneness Blessing in New York City since 2007. Billed as “spiritual solutions for your modern life,” Deeksha is a sanskrit word for gift. And the gift of the Oneness Blessing is a neurobiological change in the brain that, when complete, enables the senses to be free from the interference of the mind. Basically a different kind of Orgasmic Meditation, this is often accompanied by spontaneous feelings of joy, inner calm and a connection to the Oneness in everything. Yeah, you might want to check it out.
Margaret Nichols has led the Oneness Blessing in NYC since 2007
My label: I love my fashion to be an expression of my environment and how I’m feeling, with a deep bow to all being sacred and shining our light. Right now there is probably more Yumi Kim in my closet than anything else. Fun, fresh and flirty with some edge. Fantastic silks that feel great on my skin.
My shoes: My feminine is truly expressed within my shoe collection (which is a gentle way of saying I have far more pairs of shoes than I actually need). Two more pairs have entered my closet within the last month. Luxe leopard print classic pumps? I feel like I will have these forever. If I’m spending or being gifted something of exquisite quality, I want it to be timeless on all fronts. And for every day easy Sole Society has super fun styles.
My fragrance: 10 years ago I bought a black jasmine oil in a Mysore marketplace in India and I haven’t been able to find it again since. If you find some, let me know! Bvlgari Black Jasmine is the closest I can find to it. (This and Trident gum are probably the only chemical things I regularly put in or on my body.)
My jewels: I recently travelled to see John of God and was so taken by the experience, I immediately ordered some earrings infused with the “Casa” energy from Brazil. Daily, it’s a mix between my mother’s gold bracelets (vintage) and my tulsi mala beads, blessed from Oneness University that I give out when I teach.
My pampering:Yana Herbal Beauty. I’ve been going to Yana (as have many notable New Yorkers) for 14 years. She gives the best facials (Russian-style: NO joke) in the city, with all handmade, natural ingredients and has amazing small batch, local, natural products to take home.
My movie:American Beauty, Amelie, Avatar. What the Bleep Do We Know was also a game changer for me when it came out.
My food: At home, I’m 90 percent vegan, all natural everything. Green juice daily for the better part of the last decade. Years ago, my best friend used to call me the most cleansed person on Earth. But I also love to travel and love to eat out and have gotten way more relaxed about it than I used to be. In my fridge on an average day you are most likely to find: avocado, raw coconut water, all sorts of greens from the farmer’s markets and a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc.
My awakening: Yerba Mate and some incense to clear the morning and say hello / tap into the Divine, before settling into Chakra Dhyana – a simple mediation that aligns all the chakras. I lead myself, depending on how much time I have.
My sign: Sagittarius. Through and through.
My mantra: In Sanskrit: Om Sat Chit Ananda – “I am existence, consciousness, bliss.” In life: “How you do one thing is how you do everything.”
My healer:Vikaz. Whenever anything goes wrong, I process it out as much as I can, and then these guys are my first stop. As in, halt life, do not pass Go, visit immediately. They are incredibly intuitive miracle workers. Definitely not your traditional chiropractic.
My reading: Right now it’s Wild by Cheryl Stayed. Although not a “spiritual” book, I think her Tiny Beautiful Things should be mandatory reading for everybody on how to be a generous, beautiful person. Oneness by Rasha and Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramahansa Yogananda are also always nearby to be picked up.
My transformation:Oneness University in India is where are my teachers reside. It’s literally the magic kingdom and led me to everything. In NYC, Ashtanga Yoga New York with Eddie Stern and his crew of teachers offers authentic Mysore style self-practice of yoga. It’s about as advanced as you can get if you need it, although they welcome every level. It’s also home to the only Ganesh temple in all of Manhattan – an incredibly pure and absolutely gorgeous space and a rare sanctuary in Manhattan.
My home: West Village, pre-war details, cozy meets glam with a touch of the Far East and dosed with Love 24/7. If I could afford him, my bestie Adam Hunter would do my decor.
With a Mercury retro period and two eclipses to navigate in the coming weeks, is the Cosmic joke on us? Ash Baker shares a grounding and balancing yoga sequence for Libra, to foster harmony and equanimity in the chaos. Main image: Brittany Alcorn.
LIBRA September 23rd to October 22nd
Ruler: Venus Element: Air Modality: Cardinal Anatomy: Kidneys and lower back
7th sign of the Zodiac
Venus, cosmic queen of love and the ruler of Libra will be energetically present throughout the heavens this month. This is a time to focus on cultivating harmony, balance and peace within your life. So much change is coming upon us. Mercury will retrograde from October 4th – 25th, during which time we’ll also experience a lunar eclipse on October 8th and a solar eclipse on October 23rd.
Now people tend to run for the hills when Mercury retrogrades, but personally I prefer to use this time to pause and deeply reflect on all the changes that may be occurring within you and around you. Those changes may come apparent as the eclipses also stop by to say hello.
Eclipses are known for removing something in your life, may it be a fear producing attitude, a toxic relationship, or whatever is blocking you from getting your dream job. Thankfully, all this cosmic drama is going down in the month of love and harmony. Use the Libran energy to find balance in the crazy, cultivating gratitude for what is, and peace with what isn’t.
The poses below have been chosen to help you find your inner calm and be your very own Venus.
Goddess Pose :: Utkata Konasana Come into Tadasana, standing Mountain Pose, at the front of your mat. Step the right foot back as if you were about to do a lunge. Instead, turn your whole body to the right, making sure your torso is in the center, right above the pelvis.
Step both feet to a 45-degree angle, with the toes out and the heels in. Take a deep inhale and as you exhale bend your knees directly over your heels. Make sure your hips are in line with your knees. Bring your hands in front of your heart in prayer.
Allow yourself to feel the heat being created from the strength in your legs, and with each inhale imagine scooping up that fierceness from below and exhaling it into your full, gorgeous heart. Hold for up to one minute.
Warrior Two :: Virabhadrasana Two Come back to Tadasana. Step the right foot back three-four feet. Turn your right foot to a slight angle with the toes out and the heel in. The left foot should be pointed forward.
Inhale and reach the arms up and out in line with your shoulders like wings. Your torso should be facing the right side, arms extended above your legs. Simultaneously exhale, and begin to bend the front knee so it lines up with the ankle. If you’re a beginner, lessen the bend in the knee but never take it further than your ankle.
Look directly along the length of your left arm, chin aligned with your left shoulder. If you gaze down, you should see your 1st/2nd toes. Make sure your torso is directly above your pelvis.
Reach your arms out wider and feel them lengthening. Press your feet down into the ground, gathering energy back into the body. Hold for 30 seconds, up to 1 minute. Come back to Tadasana and switch sides.
Cat / Cow Pose :: Marjaryasana & Bitilasana Come to hands and knees. Make sure your hips are right over your knees and your elbows are directly above your wrists. Keep a slight bend at the elbows.
As you inhale, arch your spine and pull your chest through your shoulders creating an opening in your collarbones. The chest and the sitting bones reach upward.
Exhaling begin to tuck your tailbone, press the hands downward into the floor and round your spine. Feel your shoulder blades spread wide across the back. Repeat for five rounds.
Scales of Peace Meditation Find a comfortable seat. Prop yourself up on a blanket so the hips are higher than the knees, creating a slight pelvic tilt. Take a moment to notice your natural breath, but don’t change it. Just soften into your energy.
After a couple of minutes start to deepen your breath by following a count of five seconds for the inhale and five seconds for the exhale. Really focus on expanding your belly on the inhale, and then drawing the belly button inward towards the spine on the exhale. Try five rounds of this deeper breath.
Now bring your hands to your heart and think of something in your life where you want to create balance. Hold that in your heart space for a moment. Then picture what it would look like if it were in balance. How would that feel? Keep breathing with that feeling.
Stay here for as long as you need and allow yourself to arrive at answers that may assist you in creating actual balance in your chosen issue. Try doing some journaling afterwards to create action-worthy ideas to help bring equanimity into your life.
Monthly Mantra: “I am the ruler of my own harmony.”
Wanna get high? Breathwork is creating a buzz on the holistic wellness scene as a way of rapidly releasing stagnant “shadow material” from the Second Chakra. Practitioner Erin Telford reports…Images: Via Disco Rat on Behance.com
The first time I ever experienced Breathwork was on a yoga retreat in Nicaragua. The plan was to do some Prana Yama before dinner. No big deal, I thought. We’ll do some Nadi Shodana, some meditation, nice and mellow. I had no idea what I was in for and that this practice would change my life.
We started out lying on our backs on our mats. Luke Simon, our teacher, instructed us to take a deep open mouth breath into the belly, the second into the heart space and exhale out of the mouth. No big deal. I actually thought for a minute that I might get bored! Little did I know…
After about ten minutes, the vibration in the space started to crackle and the jungle backdrop only magnified the energy that was starting to flow. You could hear the ocean waves thundering onto the beach, the wind whipping in the trees, the buzzing of the jungle and all of its creatures, and the gentle accompaniment of some beautifully channeled chants and drumming. Things were about to get wild.
Luke asked us to yell as loud as we could on the count of 3…2…1. We let it rip. Normally I would be really self-conscious being asked to scream but it was easy in a group and everyone went for it. It felt AMAZING to yell. I couldn’t remember the last time I had done that in such a neutral, safe and supported way.
Then things got really interesting – because once I opened up that channel, the tears started to flow. One of my very favorite acupuncture professors used to say, “Anger is the oil slick on an ocean of grief.” Once I roared out my heartache, a huge surge of sadness started to well up in my body. I really resisted that pain at first. I wanted to close my mouth and swallow it all back down where it came from.
But finally, I completely let myself go and gave myself the experience I truly needed. It was one of the most profound healings I’ve ever had in my life.
Luke moved fluidly around each one of us, holding a hand, stroking a head, applying an essential oil, placing the perfect vibrational crystal on each of us. When it was all over, I felt the most open and soft that I think I’ve ever felt. The breath acted like a spiritual Brillo pad and stripped away the bristly stickiness of resentments and pain. The afterglow was one of the highest natural highs I’ve ever experienced. It felt warm, intimate, loving, a little drunk feeling, and like a soul cleanse. I wanted to hug everybody!
After we shared our experiences and closed the circle, I grabbed Luke and was like, “What did we just DO and where did you learn that??” He told me he had learned this Breathwork from a man named David Elliot in L.A. I was hooked and ran to my room to see how I could get to study with David as soon as possible!
I’ve since been studying with David since May, and his classes are really like Life Training. His message is Self Love, and he teaches healthy ways to balance the exchange between giving and receiving. When we’re filling our selves up with love, the Universe can feed us and we can experience grace and miracles. When we’re seeking love from outside ourselves, it can lead to pain, suffering, aggression addiction and ultimately spiritual illness.
Here’s what you need-to-know about Breathwork before you dive in:
Know that David Elliott learned Breathwork from a healer named Tim Heath that he apprenticed with. It is a rebirthing breath technique that was popular in the 1970’s.
Know that sessions can be done privately, in a group setting, or even by phone or Skype.
Know that in a private session, you have the opportunity to go deeply into what is keeping you stuck or limited in your life. In a group session, there is usually a universal human theme that is chosen to focus on.
Know that active breathing happens for about 30-35 minutes although you will completely lose track of time and be in your own world.
Know that during this time, you may feel extreme tingling or vibrating sensations throughout your body, and that this is the sensation of spirit moving freely through your body.
Know that every experience is different for every person depending on what they are working with, where they want to go with the work and what their body and soul feels ready to release on any given day.
Know that our emotional experiences of our family, our creativity, our sexuality, all of our relationships, and any trauma live in our low belly in our Second Chakra. This is where a lot of our murkier, shadow material can hang out – shame, guilt, humiliation, things we don’t want to admit to ourselves or to others, and experiences we had before we had any coping mechanisms to process them.
Know that when we direct consistent attention to this area by infusing it again and again with our life force, things begin to shake loose. We are effectively “stirring our own pot” of a lifetime of emotional experience. We then draw this breath up to the Heart to be purified and transformed, and then exhale to let it all go.
Know that the euphoric after-glow from a Beathwork session can last for hours, or even days.
As Virgo brings its back-to-school energy of diligence and efficiency, Ash Baker shares some grounding poses to bring purification and clarity. PLUS a meditation to purge your fears ad connect you to the innate gifts within.
VIRGO August 23 to September 22nd
Ruler: Mercury Element: Earth Modality: Mutable Anatomy: Intestines, upper bowel. gallbladder, liver, pancreas and nervous system
6th sign of the Zodiac
The pure and curious creatures of the skies come out from the Cosmic woodwork to say hello this month. As we enter the earthy sign of Virgo, you may feel the winds of change begin to beckon. This month is about an ushering in of the first feelings of Autumn, and a deliciously crisp edge to the atmosphere reminding you to harvest what you’ve been working on.
Virgoans are all about service, purity, analysis and self-containment. All of which characteristics can be used to our utmost advantage. Being in service is gratitude in action and a much needed practice for living in the present. It inspires us to be grounded in a system of a high moral code. Analysis is POWER when used to discern what your heart and soul needs most. Just be careful not to over analyze yourself! And this sign teaches us that when we use self-containment to fill ourselves up with that which we need (gratitude, self love, and truth) we become an unstoppable force of light.
In honor of the Virgo energy that infuses our existence now, here are three poses to detox your whole body, strengthen your liver and calm your nerves. If you have time, flow through a few rounds of Sun Salutes to warm up the body before you move into the more static postures below.
Half Lord Of the Fishes // Ardha Matsyendrasana
Find a comfortable seat with your legs stretched out in front of you. Begin to draw your knees up and drop the left bent knee down to the left. Your left foot should be tucked just under your right seat. Then cross the right foot over the left leg and place it down next to the mid outer hip. This leg will stay upright with the knee towards the ceiling.
Inhale and reach the right arm up, exhale with a slight twist and place it behind your right seat. Take the left upper arm and elbow either around the outside of the right knee or to the outer right hip. This is a deep twist so use your inhales to gather length in your spine and twist deeper on the exhales.
Remember, the twist should be happening in the mid to upper spine. Think ribs up! Hold for five rounds of deep breath and then repeat on the other side.
*Gratitude practice: Inhale and think of something you are grateful for. Exhale and energetically let it surround you.
Bridge Pose // Setu Bandha Sarvangasana
This asana offers specific benefits to your liver by strengthening the core muscles that support it. Come down to lie on your back and bend your knees. If you have neck issues take a folded blanket under your shoulders to assist in creating a natural cervical curve.
Make sure your feet are directly under your knees. Rest your arms at your sides. Take a deep inhale through the nose. On your exhale begin to tuck your tailbone, activating the glutes and press your lower back down against the floor. Allow the exhale to lift your hips off the floor. Bring your shoulder blade tips closer together creating space in the front shoulders and collarbone.
Take your arms underneath and clasp your hands together. Press the forearms, hands and feet firmly into the floor. Release on an exhale and slowly wave your spine to the floor. Stay with this pose for 30 seconds up to 1 minute.
*Do not turn your head in this pose.
Supported Shoulderstand // Salamba Sarvangasana
Begin by folding two blankets into a rectangle shape about one-foot by two-foot. Come to lie on your back with the knees bent and your feet on the floor. Make sure the top two-foot edge of your blanket is lined up with the tops of your shoulders. Your head should be resting on the floor. Inhale, and on your exhale place your arms at your sides.
Firmly press your arms down into the floor as you draw your knees up and your thighs in towards your chest. Take a bend at the elbows making sure they are in alignment with your shoulders and place your palms on the small of your back for support. Begin to really curl your tailbone and extend the legs straight up towards the ceiling while simultaneously walking the hands up the back towards the floor.
Reach up through your toes and focus on bringing your chest towards your chin. Maintain a nice curve to your neck and do not turn your head. Hold this for 30 seconds if you’re a beginner, or more advanced yogis can hold up to five minutes.
To come down, exhale while gently bringing your knees towards your chest and roll the spine out long.
*Allow your body to relax and soak up the benefits of these poses!
You are a jar of stars meditation // Cosmic canned goods
Find a blissful space to sprawl out under a blanket. Maybe even under the moon and stars. Take an inhale for the length of five seconds, hold the breath in for five seconds and exhale for the length of five seconds. Go through 10 rounds of this more controlled breath. Then find a nice, soft rhythmic breath that suits you and place both hands on your belly.
See yourself laying there in your mind’s eye. Understand your body as a container for anything you wish to either get rid of or cultivate. Virgos are masters of discernment and can be an example when it comes to weeding out what we do or don’t want. As you inhale find the positive strengths you possess and view them expanding within you. You are your own cosmic universe.
As you exhale, visualize letting go of the negative junk that makes you feel sad or insecure. Allow your body to be a vessel for change. Lay here as long as you wish.
Monthly Mantra: I am the master of my own domain and I honor my truth.
Enter Leo, and passionate, sunshine times are here. Ash Baker shares a simple yoga sequence and 2nd chakra meditation to honor your inner Lion, boost your creativity and cultivate the courage to truly love yourself and others. Image: Karolina Daria Flora
LEO July 23 to August 22nd
Ruler: The Sun Element: Fire Modality: Fixed Anatomy: The heart, spine & hair ( your Lion’s mane ) 5th sign of the Zodiac
Queens & Kings rise to their cosmic throne this month! We are now entering the summery sign of Leo who worships the Sun, all things luxurious and leaps boldly into creative, fierce endeavors. This is a month of action rather than reaction, and for taking moments to connect with your inner child. Finding that magical place in your heart that defies logic and lives for the moment. Let these poses infuse your more solar side and add some sparkle to your courageous stride.
Surya Namaskar // Sun Salute // 3-5 rounds
A flowing salute to Leo’s ruler, the Sun. This simple series is great for beginners as well as the seasoned yogi. It will also help to alleviate some of the loveable but stubborn fixed nature that the Lion is known for.
Come to stand at the front of your mat. Feel your feet grounding downward by pressing your big toe mound, little toe mound and heel firmly against the floor. Scoop your tailbone slightly, giving the abdominals a slight inward moving squeeze. Draw your shoulders back allowing your collarbones to widen. Lengthen your neck by raising the crown of your head up towards the sky. Arms are softly at your sides with slightly open palms. Now you are in Tadasana or Standing Mountain Pose.
Take a deep inhale inflating the entire belly while simultaneously reaching the arms out and up, bringing the palms to kiss. Exhale and begin to fold forward with your arms following out to your sides like wings. Remember to create a hinge at your hips when you fold and keep a slight bend in your knees. Keep your back nice and flat until you reach your edge in the stretch. Then you can gently round the spine as you surrender to the fold. Inhaling, come up halfway, placing the fingertips on the floor or the palms to the shins. Exhale fold down again.
Inhale, place your hands on the floor and step or jump back into plank pose. Keep the tailbone tucked and engage your abdominal muscles. Exhaling, either bring the knees to the floor or keep legs lifted while slowing lowering down through Chaturanga push up position. Come all the way to the floor. Inhaling, with hands next to your shoulders, press up into Cobra or Upward Facing Dog.
Exhaling, bend the knees and press back and up into Downward Facing Dog. Root down through all ten fingers especially the thumbs. Press your hips up towards the sky and ground your feet into the floor, at least do so energetically if the heels don’t reach.
While in Downward Dog we are going to add in Lions Breath! A little pause to honor our inner fierceness. Inhale deeply through your nose and exhale with an open mouth while simultaneously sticking your tongue out. Let the exhale be forceful, making a “ha” sound. Do three to five rounds of this breath each time you come into Down Dog. Take this opportunity to let go of anything negative in your inner landscape that may be hindering your growth or creativity. With each exhale imagine yourself releasing that negative attachment. The “ha” sound is you laughing at your fears. Just as any lion would do.
Walk or hop the feet up to meet the hands coming into a forward fold with a slight bend in the knees. Take your hands to your shins or take your fingertips to touch the ground and come up half way with a flat spine. Reaching forward with the crown of your head, take an inhale. Exhale and fold forward once more. Inhale while rolling your whole body up to stand from the ground up. Keep your knees slightly bent, allow your spine to unfurl and reach the arms to the sky. Bring the fingertips to touch, collect yourself, your intentions and place them before your heart with prayer hands.
Heart to Heart time.
Now that your body is warmed up we can move onto some more static yet deeply powerful postures. This next pose is a great way to open your heart and lungs. Leo rules the heart, and not in the way you may think. They can be great romantics but they are not the kind to wear their heart on their sleeve. It takes genuine courage to truly open your heart to another person, which is why harnessing Leo like courage within our bodies and towards ourselves is so powerful. The more we open to vulnerability with strength and grace, the more we can offer the ones we love.
Camel // Ustrasana
Come to hands and knees. Go through a few rounds of cat/cow just to get a nice spinal flow forwards and backwards. Then come up on your knees. If you have crabby knees like I do, take a blanket or towel underneath them. Take your hands to your lower back with the fingertips pointed towards the floor and begin to press your hands downward. You should feel your lower back lengthening and your collarbones widening. Just stay with this for 3 rounds of breath.
Then take one arm behind you grabbing your heel or ankle. Stay there breathing for a moment and then take your other arm behind you clasping your heel or ankle.. Draw your shoulders open, tuck the tailbone down while also drawing the top of your hip points up and inward. This will naturally engage your abdominals. Stay in this pose for up to 1 minute if there is no pain in your low back or knees.
Once released take your hips to your heels, reach the arms out in front of you and rest your forehead on the floor. Allow yourself to surrender to your heart’s requests. Breathe deeply for a minute.
Locust Pose // Salabhasana
Now that the front of your body is open and ready to receive, we will strengthen the back of the heart. Leos also rule the back which is key in developing self courage. Many of us are courageous in the name of others but not so much for ourselves. We always have a choice and it requires deep work to not always be a people pleaser! The Lion speaks his truth with fearless ease.
Plus this pose always makes me feel like Superwoman!
Come onto your belly. Keep your arms along your sides, point the fingers and let your forehead rest on the floor. Inhaling begin to unfurl your head, shoulders and chest upwards. Allow the arms to follow the upwards motion like you are in flight! Keep pressing the pubic bone and belly towards the floor to keep your low back supported. Now begin to zip up the legs by squeezing them together and engaging your glutes. With pointed toes begin to lift the legs up. Now all limbs should be flying. Breathe and feel how strong you are. Hold this for five rounds of breath. Come back down, releasing for a few seconds. If you feel energized by this pose go into it once more.
Make your way into Childs Pose.
If you need a little help softening or just want a sweet pose this month try a Yin heart opener – Yin being the soft, receptive and cooling side of the circle. Use this to say to the Universe that you are open for business, fearless and ready for what’s next.
You will need two blocks, a bolster or blanket and a pillow.
If you don’t have a bolster just roll up a blanket. Place your bolster or blanket horizontally across your mat. Come down onto your back with the blanket just under the tips of your shoulder blades. This will create a nice opening in the chest. Draw your feet to touch creating a diamond shape with the legs. Place a block under each knee allowing the legs to gently relax into the stretch. Your arms should be outstretched to the sides comfortably. Lastly, take your pillow and place it under your head. You should feel fully supported and safe. Stay here for as long as you need.
Sun meditation // 2nd chakra
This would be a great meditation to do while in the supported Yin pose, but if you prefer you can sit cross legged on a pillow with the hands gently resting on your legs. The 2nd chakra, Svadhisthana, is the seat of our creativity and passion. Leos are pleasure hunters, and it’s our energetic pleasure hub and. When one has a clear connection to this chakra they are in tune with their feelings, desires and can communicate that easily to others. This is the birth place of artistic divinity and when flowing freely we experience pleasures in every moment.
Close your eyes. Take one hand to your heart and one to your belly. Really feel both areas of your body and picture them being harmonious in their communications to each other. What seeds do you want to plant within yourself? Where do you want to be more open? More creative? How could you cultivate more pleasure in your life? The answers to these questions are your seeds.
Now imagine a garden within yourself filled with all your favorite plants, flowers and creatures (unicorns are welcome!) Take all of those seeds (desires) and start to plant them in the dirt, knowing in your heart what they will look like in full bloom. Look up and see a big, radiantly beaming Sun pouring down upon your garden, nourishing all you have sown. Feel the warmth and know that you are actively pursuing the things in life you want or need. Again you are courageous and always have a choice. Just stay here breathing, opening and surrendering to your own strength.
Monthly Mantra: I am the ruler of my heart, my strength and all things contained within my inner kingdom.
Forbes’ 52nd most powerful woman in the world, Cancerian author and spiritual activist Arianna Huffington is at the forefront of the mindfulness revolution. Initiated into transcendental meditation by the Maharishi himself when she was just 13, here she reveals the details of a successfully Mystical Life…
Do you have any recurring dreams and what do you think they mean? “I had a dream that has remained very important to me but is not recurring. I am on a train going home to God. (Bear with me!) It’s a long journey, and everything that happens in my life is scenery along the way. Some of it is beautiful; I want to linger over it awhile, perhaps hold on to it or even try to take it with me.
Other parts of the journey are spent grinding through a barren, ugly countryside. Either way the train moves on. And pain comes whenever I cling to the scenery, beautiful or ugly, rather than accept that all the scenery is grist for the mill, containing, as Marcus Aurelius counseled us, some hidden purpose and a hidden blessing.
I’ve always been fascinated by dreams and my younger daughter and I regularly exchange our dreams. One of her recurring dreams is a good metaphor for what a good night’s sleep allows us to do. She imagines herself as a living “Stop” sign, forcing people to come to a complete stop before moving on with their lives.”
What is your morning awakening ritual? “My perfect morning begins the night before, with a good night’s sleep – which, for me, means seven to eight hours. And a big part of my morning ritual is about what I don’t do: when I wake up, I don’t start the day by looking at my smartphone.
I make sure I have my phones charging far, far away from my bed, to help me avoid the temptation to check the latest news or emails. Instead, once I’m awake, I take a minute to breathe deeply, be grateful, and set my intention for the day.”
What is your favorite feel-good breakfast and why? “I have terrible breakfast habits. I basically love breakfast foods but not at breakfast – the only thing I like at breakfast is a soy or almond cappuccino.”
What mantra do you leave the house with in the morning? “’Don’t miss the moment.’ This was one of my mother’s favorite sayings and it embodied the philosophy of her life.”
Arianna’s daughters Christina and Isabella: “My healers”
What’s your lucky charm? “Flat shoes!”
In what ways do you most embody the traits of your sign? “If one of the signs of being a Cancer is being a homebody, then there is nothing I like more than staying home with a good book and my favorite music.”
And the healer you have on speed-dial? “My daughters!”
What’s the one universal message you wish we could all could get our heads around? “It’s a lesson I learned when I had my painful wakeup call in 2007: not only is there no tradeoff between living a well-rounded life and high performance, your performance will actually improve when your life includes time for renewal, wisdom, wonder and giving.”
And how do you deal with negative thoughts? “I call my negative thoughts the obnoxious roommate living in our head. It feeds on putting us down and strengthening our insecurities and doubts. I have spent many years trying to evict my obnoxious roommate and have now managed to relegate her to only occasional guest appearances in my head.
Educating our obnoxious roommate requires redefining success and what it means to live a life that matters, which will be different for each of us, according to our own values and goals (and not those imposed upon us by society).”
Retail therapy is…? “Nice, but ultimately not the answer!”
What’s your power outfit? “A simple beige dress that I wear with a cotton bolero.”
And what makes you feel beautiful, why? “What makes me feel beautiful is an 8-hour sleep, half an hour of meditation and a great yoga class.”
Your last conversation with the universe went something like…? “It was me putting the universe in its place: ‘Sorry, I know I have an obscene number of unanswered emails, but I’m putting my phone away and going to bed!’”
Man it can get LOUD out there. Have you ever considered shutting down the noise and embarking on a 10-day silent Vipassana meditation retreat? Sarah McKinney shares the experience that left her “more integrated, and whole.” Images: Karolina Daria Flora.
I’d always been fascinated when people said they’d gone on a 10-day silent meditation retreat, in the same way I’m fascinated by people who tell me they run marathons, my usual reaction being: “That’s so awesome — for you.” But this past October, when one of my yoga teachers strongly recommended Jack Kornfield’s 37th annual spring Vipassana, something inside of me sparked, and I knew it was time for me to experience it for myself.
I’d been trying to “should” myself into establishing a daily seated meditation practice for a while, but couldn’t get it to stick. I’d rationalized that yoga was a moving meditation. I’d done maybe a dozen or so 30-minute guided meditations, and had sat quietly for five-minute meditations countless times.
But I knew that meditating in silence for hours every day, for 10 days in a row, would be like learning to swim in the deep end. I felt a little nervous, but also confident that I had the tools needed to process whatever thoughts or emotions might come up. And I was comforted by the fact that Jack’s retreat didn’t require 100% silence.
We were allowed to talk during three different meetings with teachers — one small group, and two one-on-ones, when they would check in on how we were doing and offer some perspective and advice. There was a brief Q&A period at the end of one morning and one afternoon sit each day, giving students the opportunity to ask questions that pertained to their practice. And during the working meditations we could exchange words related to our jobs.
We were also told it was okay to jot down some notes if we felt the need — particularly permissible during the Dharma talks every night, when the teachers would share various lessons from the Buddha. But we were told to avoid eye contact whenever possible, the point being to help us stay focused on our internal experiences. There would also be no reading or use of technology, and any kind of sexual conduct was disallowed.
I’d been warned that the first few days on retreat were often the most difficult — the “settling in” period, they called it. I’d assumed this was because people had repressed traumatic or abusive experiences from their past that suddenly rose to the surface, and I half-hoped I’d be gifted with something surprisingly dramatic and juicy. But instead what I experienced was intense boredom, impatience, fantasy thinking, planning, sleepiness, and intermittent frustration that there wasn’t more instruction given.
The teachers said they were intentionally keeping it simple to start us off, telling us to just keep coming back to our inhale and exhale, and our right and left foot, as we alternated between 45-minute sitting and walking meditation periods.
The walking meditation was not like walking for exercise, or even walking to get from one place to the next. The point was to maintain single minded focus — feeling the weight shift from heel to toe, or from the left to right side of our body, stopping if we noticed something in our surroundings to really observe it before returning to our footsteps.
By afternoon I could hear the cars zooming down the nearby highway and pictured myself running across the desert, yelling; “Save me! Take me away from the land of the slow, where people walk like zombies of the night!” I was entertaining myself — preferable to maintaining single-minded focus, apparently.
When the teachers would release us from sitting meditation saying, “enjoy your walking period” with their Buddha smiles, it felt mildly torturous. Like being told to go enjoy just one sip of wine, or one chocolate chip. But I practiced contrary action, and tried to do what I was told.
On the second day we began receiving more instruction — my thirst for guidance, quenched! During one of the morning walking meditations I became momentarily captivated by the most beautifully bright little yellow flowers growing on a tree, surrounded by soft white fluff. And then a few steps later, by a delicate purple flower growing out of a brittle cactus — the symbolism made me smile.
I sat on a bench during lunch, mindfully chewing and savoring the different textures and flavors per the teachers’ suggestions, and noticed that the Koi pond I was gazing at was particularly green — like a Matcha green tea latte. Looking up I observed a large bush covered in white flowers, and then another one with pink flowers. How had I missed all this the day before? I watched a tall narrow tree bend in the wind as I listened to the chirping birds, my hand clasping a warm cup of tea. I felt the weather beginning to shift.
My working meditation was breakfast set up from 6 — 6:45am. I was grateful for something to do. My working partner was a woman named Margo who I had an immediate affinity for. She was in her late 60’s and (I later learned) a poet, and a writing teacher. She had a son around my age and lived in San Diego with her husband — a man who’d been going on silent meditation retreats for decades. This was her fourth.
We’d occasionally break the rules and whisper to each other; “How are you doing?” Knowing she was having a hard time with the meditations too made me feel less alone. Margo felt like my version of that guy in Eat Pray Love who called Elizabeth Gilbert “Groceries” — she was my friend. Occasionally we would make accidental eye contact when passing each other on the grounds, and sneak smiles.
Throughout my entire life people have commented on how cold my hands are and my go-to response has always been; “cold hands warm heart!” But during the seated meditations I could feel my hands burning with heat as they rested on my thighs, and I remembered an energy worker telling me once that the hands become warm when you are in your body and out of the analytic mind.
And so I began using my hands as my barometer for how much I was “dropping in”, and allowing myself to feel. As that was apparently what we were here to do. “How does that feel in your body?” the teachers frequently asked, when students would share their various mind states, and laughably relatable neuroses. The goal was equanimity, which merely means to observe our feelings with a balanced perspective, to enable us to respond appropriately.
I was less sleepy by day three, but still pretty bored, and the fantasy thinking had been going into overdrive, carrying over into my sleep. I dreamt I was having sex with someone I’d though about going to bed with, and quickly thanked my subconscious for having taken note before realizing some old familiar feelings were present too— insecurity, performance, validation seeking. Leftover residue from a life so busily lived that not everything can be fully processed.
Lying in bed, I decided to envision how I’d like to feel having sex with this person — safe, comfortable, playful, fully in my body, ripe with desire, generously giving, the embodiment of “yes.” “Much better,” I noted to myself, as I reached down to my suitcase for some clothes, and then began my walk to the dining hall.
I was surprised that I didn’t miss technology at all, given how obsessively I tend to check it at home. Or exercise. We did have Qigong at 3:15 every afternoon, which gave us a chance to move our bodies, albeit slowly. It was taught by a German man named Franz Moeckl who was so charismatic that all the ladies started giggling the moment he appeared, and then again when he spoke. It became one of my favorite parts of each day, but after about 15 minutes I was still checking my watch — what’s next.
I came to enjoy the simple foods. No seconds. No desire for more. Though I did find myself hoarding a bit — taking an apple at breakfast in case I wanted it later, and one night I wrapped three dark chocolates in a napkin and slipped it into my bag, anticipating a future desire for sweetness, or simply something to look forward to.
I placed them in the freezer of the mini fridge in my room, and took some comfort in just knowing they were there — like an active alcoholic stashing bottles around the house, or a smoker who’s trying to quit but keeps a few cigarettes in a secret drawer, just in case.
I also discovered that one of my roommates was from Australia, due to her being an active sleep talker — it’s like her subconscious found a loophole and was going to town. She had full on conversations that began around 4am, and one morning I nearly laughed out loud when she blurted out in her thick accent; “Well yes, that’s a very large hemorrhage.”
As for the internal work I’d been expecting? On day five I was greeted with an onslaught of anger and resentment, and found myself intensely preoccupied with planning a conversation that I’d decided I needed to have with a friend about how I couldn’t show up and be authentically supportive of her recent decisions.
I explored every angle, and couldn’t seem to find a way to say it that wasn’t charged with judgment and righteousness. In the afternoon we were guided through a forgiveness meditation, and it became clear that the person I’d been planning to “de-friend” was actually an undeniable amalgamation of all of the wounded parts of myself that I’ve worked hard to heal.
She was all of my jagged edges and broken pieces hanging in a wind chime, clanging just outside my door. The walking instruction given was to silently say with each step; “I forgive you. Please forgive me. I forgive myself.” The anger dissipated.
By now I couldn’t seem to access the fantasy thinking anymore — I missed it, and even when I reached out for it, there were no hooks to reel it in. Instead I was left with a near-constant internal narration of my present-time experiences. A ladybug would crawl on my shoe and I’d hear myself say; “Today, a ladybug crawled on my shoe.”
The voice sounded a little bit like that of an older man, maybe Billy Collins or Garrison Keillor — someone with a lot of time on their hands, and a keen attention to detail. It kept me company, but was also kind of annoying.
I also found my mind frequently drifting to things I’d written — poems, mostly — or ideas for new things, based on what I was experiencing on retreat. I’d notice their presence and label them “reciting” or “writing,” letting them float away like clouds so I could return to my breath, or footsteps.
I mentioned this pattern to a teacher during one of my meetings and she asked me to explore how it might feel if I didn’t write about my retreat experience. Little daggers shot out of my heart; “No, I’m not interested in not writing. This is my first silent retreat — maybe next time,” was my response.
She asked me to explain why, and it really came down to a feeling that all of my experiences must be productive. Who am I, and what is my value, if I don’t have anything to show for it?
I smiled when trying to imagine any of my family members doing this retreat. Particularly my Dad — a man who attempted to weed my Grandma’s entire front garden while we were locked out of her house for 20 minutes once. I sat on the front step and watched. He eventually looked up at me, both hands filled with weeds, and evaluated his work, saying, “Well, I’m not sure how much I’ve really accomplished here.” I responded, “But at least you kept busy, right?”
I tease them all for being so Type A. In our family, the question, “How are you?” is most often answered with a list of things you’ve done since you last spoke, followed by another one of everything you plan to do in the immediate future.
Both my parents grew up in households that were very unpredictable so they’ve created a pretty structured approach to life, and it’s worked well for them. I on the other hand, grew up in a household that was very predictable, so have been left craving less structure and more fluidity — the pendulum swings.
By now I was beginning to experience some pretty blissed out states — my body nearly always tingly and pulsing with my heartbeat. Like when you just wake up from a deep sleep, and just lie there, too peaceful to move. I could also feel a strange pressure in my forehead, like it was opening up and pushing dense material off to the sides.
I still refuse to call this my third eye, but I know enough about energy centers to understand that’s what it was —and that I was tapping in to that concentrated spaciousness, a dark expansiveness, the limitless sea of consciousness.
As the retreat began to inch closer to the end, and my excitement about returning home reignited my planning mind, the mantra I kept repeating to myself during the walking meditations was simply; “I love you. Keep going.”
One day during a sit I decided to kill some time by scanning my entire body, starting at my toes and traveling all the way up to my head, and apologizing for what I’ve put it through — the pounding, twisting, spraining, scratching, bruising, burning, devaluing, starving, pushing, prodding, betraying, withholding, criticizing, ignoring and abandoning — and then thanking it for continuing to be there for me. Tears welled up in my eyes.
The mindful eating was also very healing. Being able to really tune into my body and feel the various stages of digestion, I realized that I often misinterpret digestion as hunger — back in my life of busyness — and don’t wait for it to pass. But in meditation, I could sit with those sensations and feel them as they moved through me. I was eating plenty, but my body continued to feel lighter, healthier and more free.
We broke silence the afternoon before our final day. We were told to partner up with someone and take turns listening and talking for three minutes each. Apparently I had been developing a silent friendship with the woman to my left over the course of the retreat, because once we spoke there was immediate comfort. She was here with her husband, and was four months pregnant. She’d had a hard time, and wanted to know how it was for me.
I struggled to adequately articulate what felt like such a diverse and detailed experience. “It was good,” I started in with, “It felt like a detox, and a self-amends. It was very healing, and very challenging at times, too.” We chatted on a bit more and were then asked to sit in silence again, and to feel the buzzing energy in our bodies that the talking had produced.
We were allowed to continue talking during dinner that night, but then it was back to silence for the 6:30pm meditation, the final Dharma talk, and through breakfast the next day. After packing up our rooms we all met one final time in the meditation hall for a closing ceremony — the teachers each giving us some advice on how to have a smooth re-entry, and keep our meditation practice up.
We were each given a red string, and asked to tie three knots in it — one to represent where we take refuge, one to represent compassion, and one to represent a promise we were making to ourselves. We then partnered up to tie them on for each other, and exchange a blessing.
Before heading back to Los Angeles I asked someone to take a picture of me standing out in the desert, so I could have something visual to remember the retreat by. I had the same dress on that I’d arrived in 10 days prior, but the woman wearing it felt different — more integrated, and whole.
I realized after driving away that I’d left the chocolates I’d taken from the dining hall in my room’s mini fridge. I guess I found the sweetness I expected to crave somewhere deep within myself instead.
Sarah McKinney is a poet, entrepreneur and songwriter, and the founder of Amp, an online directory of sustainability resources. She lives in Los Angeles. Follow her @sarahmck
For a full diary of retreats at Jack Kornfield’s Spirit Rock Insight Meditation Center click here.
