Want to make a difference in 2017? Numinous Founder Ruby Warrington shares 8 ways to be a spiritual activist…
“Are you going on the Women’s March?” It’s the question doing the rounds as we come around from the collective anesthesia of the holidays and it all comes flooding back. The Trump regime. This is happening. Time to get back to work. Considering a lot of what I talk about on this platform involves the words “spiritual activism,” it may come as a surprise to learn that the answer from me is “no.” At the time of writing this I do not have plans to join the 200,000 + protestors who will march on Washington Jan 21, the day after the inauguration.
And it’s not because I don’t think that it’s necessary to vocalize our anger with the incoming administration. It’s not because I believe that humans mobilizing en masse doesn’t have any impact—just look at Standing Rock. But just as each individual birth chart maps a unique life path—a unique dharma—it seems to me that vocal protest is but one of many, many, many small and different ways that each and every one of us is being called to be of service in 2017.
When I launched our #TuneInPeaceOut event in September last year, it was because I had identified my big message for the world as being: PLEASE CAN EVERYBODY JUST STOP FIGHTING! WE’RE ALL ON THE SAME TEAM, FFS! “I guess I’m a massive pacifist,” I told the life coach who helped me boil it down. So it makes sense that when I think about my personal contribution going forward, it’s less about fighting against the system, and more about putting all my energy and ingenuity into creating a new way of seeing and doing things. A way that works for everybody.
Read on for 8 ways to practice spiritual activism in 2017…
1. DON’T HATE, CREATE. I equate creativity with spirituality, and so for me the term “spiritual activism” speaks to action that is an expression of our desire to create—create new conversations, create conscious businesses, create works of art that shake up the status quo, create babies who will grow to be future spiritual activists!
2. COMPASSION INTO ACTION. It also means taking action from a place of compassion and empathy—knowing that we are all connected. Like I said, we’re all on the same team—meaning, as humans, we all have the exact same needs (love, material security, freedom, to be heard and understood), and the exact same fears (pain, hunger, abandonment). Yes—even the President elect. Knowing this, the more our actions are about giving each other what we need, the better.
3. TEAMWORK. So, we’re all connected. Which means that working with others who share our goals is way more impactful that going it alone—as this creates a cosmic domino effect. Marches and protests are one amazing example of this! But also look at the impact of the online group Pantsuit Nation. Who’s doing stuff you see making a positive difference? Ask how can get involved.
4. CONSCIOUS COMPUTING. The Age of Aquarius has given us this amazing tool called the internet, which means we are literally all connected. Sadly it didn’t come with any instructions for how to use it to get everybody to stop fighting. It really is on us to a) figure out ways to use this tool to create good stuff, to get educated, to learn compassion, and to give each other more of what we need, and b) not get sucked into the shadow side of online life (misinformation, fear-mongering, and comparison/separation).
5. CONSUME BETTER AND LESS. In relation to spiritual activism, the message of conscious consumption is two-fold. Firstly, yes, every dollar you spend is a vote for the kind of world you believe in. Don’t believe in the objectification of women? Don’t buy fashion brands who objectify women in their ad campaigns! Obvious right? But we do it all the time without even thinking. Second, a lot of the times when we buy more stuff and eat and drink more stuff it’s a way to distract us from the stuff our soul came here to do. Consume less + feel more = get inspired to act (as uncomfortable as this can feel). Oh and all that money you spend on “stuff”? Could also be donated to causes and charities where it’s really needed.
6. SEE A SPIRIT FIRST. This is about seeing past what a person says and does, past what they believe, past what job they do, past what country or body they were born in, and looking for the human spirit underneath. And going from there. Also, making it your business to interact with people who are not “like you” on the outside, as a way to practice seeing the spirit on the inside.
7. RESPOND DON’T REACT. If the Donald has taught us anything, it’s how ridiculous and childish it is to go with your knee-jerk reaction to anything which could be perceived as a “threat” to you and / or your beliefs. Yoga and meditation are a physical way to build the spiritual resilience it takes to listen and digest first—making it possible to choose the right next course of action. The “right” action being the one that works for you, and for everybody else.
8. LISTEN. Everybody’s got an opinion. Everybody wants their opinion to be heard. And everybody says what they think will get the biggest reaction because everybody also wants their opinion to get liked on social media. But it can be the people with the quietest voices who need to be heard the most. Not to mention the least “likable” truths. So just be quiet and listen for a minute. Maybe ask a question, something along the lines of: what do you really need? This way, your next action can truly be of value to a fellow human spirit.
Read more about spiritual activism from our Moon Club founding members! We have curated a line-up of humans who are committed to creating good stuff for humanity, and who will be on hand to offer additional support and guidance to our members. Meet them here and read more about Moon Club and sign up here.
In the face of heart-wrenching challenges that left many of us feeling very troubled (read: angry, confused, and afraid) we remained committed to the deeply magical acts of connecting and co-creating. From transforming difficult emotions into empowered action, to the pure pleasure of crystal dildos, we give you the Best of The Numinous 2016. Cause we gotta have faith, cosmic crusaders…
6. Cosmic Calling—Astrology for Entrepreneurs:When it comes to astrology for entrepreneurs, it’s about knowing your cosmic career signature, and following a few hard and fast rules, says Rebecca Gordon.
7. Empowered Action in the Face of Trauma:Recent world events have stirred up many intense emotions. Louise Androlia shares her wisdom on how to use our feelings as a catalyst for empowered action.
8. Fashion as Self-Love: The Story Behind KE7H3R: “Everything, even fashion, is a transference of energy.” Janelle Corpuz Hethcot talks sartorial style as self-love with Ruby Warrington.
9. Hello Chakrubs: Yes, That’s a Crystal Dildo: Forget the battery-operated vibrator and pick up a high-vibe, soul-opening crystal sex toy. Chakrubs founder Vanessa Cuccia shares her story with Gabriela Herstik.
10. Casting My Spell—Confessions of a White Witch:“I see writing as a spell, decorating my home as a spell, singing as a spell. Whenever I express myself I am casting MY spell.” Shaheen Miro shares what it means to grow up and embrace being a white witch.
Want more Numinosity in 2017? Sign up for our newsletter and follow us on Instagram and Facebook so you never miss a post.
The BE Hive is a unique space for spiritual exploration in the heart of Hollywood. Alexandra Roxo talks plant meds and conscious entrepreneurship with founder Tamara Edwards…
Part of mine and Ruby’s mission with Moon Club is to meet people who are killing it at business but with a foot on the ground and an eye on the cosmos. People whose work is also of service to humanity. Which led me to Tamara Edwards, founder of The BE Hive in LA, a new space that combines wellness and workshops with co-working space and even accommodation. I love it so much, I now work out of there twice a week!
I decided to ask Tamara about the why and the how behind the project, because I know first hand that creating a business from the ground up is so so much work! As such, us spiritual entrepreneurs absolutely have to stick together, share, and inspire each other, as we create a new paradigm around money, community, and work.
ALEXANDRA ROXO: What’s your background and what led you to this work? TAMARA EDWARDS: I grew up in a meditating household. My dad is an M.D and a practicing Ayurvedic physician and learned Transcendental Meditation (TM) from Maharishi Mahesh Yogi in the 1970’s, which allowed me to witness first-hand the transformational power of meditation from a very young age.
Over three years ago, my own practice led to me I founding The BE Society, a nomadic meditation group that gathers in myriad locations globally. And in 2016 I opened The BE Hive, an Urban Sanctuary in Hollywood, where groups and individuals can meditate, stay, and engage in other consciousness related activities and services. Now, alongside my career as a film producer, I travel internationally sharing meditation with private individuals, companies and even film crews.
AR: Oh dang. No wonder I like you. We both work in film and are conscious businesses owners. Amazing! So, how did the idea for the BE Hive come about? TE: The idea came during a stay in a beautiful empty NY Soho loft. This particular space inspired the vision, but the concept was a natural evolution of The BE Society. The BE Hive is our sanctuary, a sustainable, eco-friendly sacred hub for practitioners to facilitate deep healing and share ancient knowledge and tools for expanding consciousness in a fresh way. There’s also a focus on plant medicine.
AR: What makes it different than other spots in LA? TE: Blending hospitality, community and plant medicine healing has not been done like this before. Our current physical space is also the oldest building in Hollywood. We have 15 + rooms to play with. We are the only space in LA that provides accommodation with a strong intention for expanding consciousness, building community, creating deep connection, facilitating healing, and providing transformational tools.
AR: Why the plant medicine focus, and how does this fit with your other offerings? TE: BE Hive is about expanding consciousness using all tools available—including yoga, meditation, tea, sound, food, science, design, space, movement and plants. I personally study plant medicine, and profound studies have been done over centuries on the power of plant teachers like Ayahuasca as facilitators in healing humans and creating harmony on this planet. Yoga, Meditation and Ayurveda are also ancient and powerful technologies for enlightenment. I see all of these modalities as the master teachers. We are simply here to hold sustainable space for the knowledge to be shared and to blend them into a digestible format for the communities that gather here.
AR: Why is this kind of programming so important in these times? TE: I believe this kind of healing is what our global family needs and is craving in order to deepen our connection to our souls and our planet. We curate specifically to address these needs. Each workshop leader is brought in intentionally because we have researched and experienced their work and feel guided to share their teachings. Each of these people are providing ancient concepts around nature, culture and gathering, in a fresh, accessible way. We are all about big visions that serve the planet!
AR: What’s in store for The BE Hive in 2017? TE: We are taking everything to the next level. Expect solar powered energy, urban bee hives, rain barrels, a vertical garden, custom plant products, an amazing array of wellness services facilitated by the best practitioners around, and a new membership program.
AR: How can we go from learning about different spiritual practices to making real changes in the world? TE: This requires PRACTICE! It’s such a blessing to receive teachings, insights, guidance, and epiphanies. However these things have no merit unless they are paired with intentional action. I ask myself daily—am I talking the talk, or am I walking the talk? How am I or am I not in integrity in this moment? Am I here now or am I here now-ish? 😉 As Gandhi said, the best thing we can do to see the change we wish to see in the world is to BE the change we wish to see in the world. Practice mastery of the self, and the action needed will come effortlessly.
AR: Do you have advice for female entrepreneurs? How did you get your start? TE: My main advice to anybody is to meditate. Why? Meditation connects us to our soul, which enables us to access our intuition. Our intuition is our most advanced technology. It is our internal GPS system. It helps us to discover our purpose and to trust in ourselves. Being an entrepreneur is all about taking risks, following your gut, and taking leaps into the unknown. We have to learn how to trust ourselves and to continue trailblazing forward. Doubt is our roadblock.
QUICK FIRE Qs What’s your sign? Capricorn in Western Astrology, Sagittarius in Vedic Your mantra? I must do what I am afraid to do Your fave food in LA? Paleo Bread with sprouted almond butter from Erewhon! Your fave LA retreat or getaway? Sleeping in my friend’s Lotus Belle in Topanga
On December 25th 2016 Kitchari Kitchen sponsored by The BE Hive, Groundworks, & Sweat Theory will be feeding the homeless Christmas morning food and chai from 10am—12pm. Volunteers and donated gifts are welcome. Do discover more about upcoming workshops at The BE Hive visit Thebehive.us
Pisces Quarter Moon :: December 7th 2016 :: 4:02 am ET
We set our intentions with the New Moon, bright eyed and excited for a fresh new beginning. Yet, like clockwork, one week after the new moon we experience the waxing quarter moon—creating a square (90 degree angle) between the Sun, which represents our identity, and the moon, our subconscious and emotional desire.
This monthly occurrence signals the need for an adjustment. In astrology, a square is like a stepping stone, providing us the opportunity to overcome an obstacle on our path to manifestation.
So what does this Pisces Quarter Moon mean for us?
***
:: THE SUN :: The Sun is currently in hopeful, expansive, and indulgent Sagittarius, on his way to meet up with serious Saturn—while the moon is traveling through the spiritual and emotional sign of Pisces.
Sagittarius represents limitless expansion. Yet just three degrees from Saturn, the planet of discipline, also in Sagttarius, we can expect a sobering vibe, asking us to stay diligent with our bottom-line focus. Saturn wants us to decipher and consolidate our Sagittarian vision, and making an exact conjunction with the Sun on December 10th, Saturn’s influence feels heightened right now.
:: THE MOON :: Yet, the moon in Pisces is seeking spiritual expansion, perhaps even an escape. Any time the moon is in Pisces, we may feel the urge to retreat into movies, music, literature, even a joint and a glass of wine. But this is a time to confront the desire to abandon your truth. Instead of escaping, allow your spiritual practice elevate you.
:: THE SQUARE :: The Sun in brazen Sag square the sensitive Pisces quarter moon creates a steamy combo (we are talking about fire and water after all!). Sagittarius, an outspoken sign, and Pisces, a sign that can sometime struggle to find its words, can work together to create a mood of expansion with undertones of spiritual freedom. Instead of escaping, let’s put our attention on spiritual expansion as a way of elevating our life goals.
:: THE MESSAGE :: As the moon waxes (grows), so does our focus on what we desire. So stay true to you. Manage your need for safety and security without abandoning yourself or your ideals! The Square between the Sun and the Pisces quarter moon asks us to look at our vision for our future, and then assess the work we must do to accomplish this. To be bold, be brazen, and be spiritually aware.
Here’s to your manifestation!
For more Moon wisdom or to book a coaching session with from Jennifer visit Jenniferracioppi.com
A manifesto for change; a new Moon Club cycle; self-care for the soul; Club SÖDA NYC; and what will you donate to Standing Rock?
With Biet Simkin, Fern Olivia and Valerie Oula at our OFF THE RÖCKS event.
:: MONDAY :: Finished reading an advance copy of maverick philosopher Daniel Pinchbeck’s new book, How Soon is Now: From Personal Initiation to Global Transformation. Part memoir, part manifesto, Pinchbeck basically lays it on the line—either we actively choose to participate in facilitating a radical global consciousness shift, or we’re headed for social, political, and environmental armageddon. Which, as he tells it, is not nearly as scary / daunting as it sounds!
I defy anybody not to feel super inspired by Pinchbeck’s vision for a new Earth, and one which truly is within our reach. IF we all get on board—and fast. Reading this against a backdrop of the 2016 Presidential election / Standing Rock, two inter-related situations which, for me, represent the two sides of the current doomsday we find ourselves facing, there’s only one answer to the question he poses in the title: the time for action is NOW. Which is why I call it the Now Age!
The book is out Feb 21—please pre-order your copy NOW, since I just decided we’ll be reading it together for the very first Numinous book club. Click here to get yours.
:: TUESDAY :: Sagittarius New Moon…which means the first official Moon Club cycle begins! All our members received their Moon Mission PDF for this moon cycle (11/29—Dec 29) today, with an overview of the cosmic climate, what this actually means for us as human beings, weekly coaching exercises for each moon phase, and a reading for each moon sign. But it’s actually totally fine to sign up at any time during the month—as all new members receive a link to the current Moon Mission, and there’s some kind of scheduled activity every week.
For example, for next Tuesday’s first quarter moon in Pisces, Moon Club members will be invited to a LIVE interactive webinar with Thinx founder Miki Agrawal. One of our favorite entrepreneur activists, Miki is all about starting the kind of conversations that are an essential part of Daniel Pinchbeck’s utopian vision for the future. You can learn more about Moon Club and check out a sample Moon Mission PDF here.
:: WEDNESDAY :: Favorite, favorite new pampering / self-care treat: the Crystal Ritual Cleanse from colorist-stylist duo Lauren & Vanessa. Which is essentially a wash + blow-dry…with added reiki, crystals and essential oils! Designed to balance and activate the upper chakras (heart, throat, third eye, and crown), the treatment begins with me laying back at a hair washing station and Lauren asking me to select the essential oil I want her to work with. She then places crystals in each of my hands, and proceeds with a reiki treatment and head massage—working the oil into my crown chakra…with more crystals!
The treatment ends with a blowout from Vanessa, and I leave feeling deeply revitalized. And something has obviously worked on a “material girl” level too—literally every person I encounter during the rest of the evening tells me how great I’m looking.
Which, if I’m honest, feels kind of frivolous to even mention against the backdrop of the election / Standing Rock. I’m getting a crystal head massage, while people are (literally) freezing on the front lines? But I think meditation artist Biet Simkin made a great point in a FB post today also: “I almost feel like there is a shame now to post anything that isn’t completely depressing. But if you kill our spirit, how will we stand against these dangers!? For what will we stand!? We must remember light! We must remember the spirit inside us!”
As well as time with loved-ones, nurturing our bodies with delicious food, and feeding our minds with inspiring words, it’s self-care and pleasure rituals like the above that help keep us connected to our sense of spirit. To what we are fighting for. Yes, the time for stepping into our roles as global change-makers is now. And can’t we also feel really great while we do it? Click here to read more and book a treatment with Lauren & Vanessa.
:: THURSDAY ::
Club SÖDA NYC. Another amazing turn-out and crowd for mine and Biet’s “sober curious” event—which also made Well+Good’s list of top wellness trends for 2017! Top tip from our panel on sober party pre-gaming? Write a gratitude list. I also had the realization during Biet’s meditation, that what we’re really craving in alcohol is a shift, an “escape,” into the right side of the brain—the intuitive, feeling, feminine side, versus the logical, linear left brain. We live in such a left-brain world (deadline-driven, progress-focussed), we’ve been left with a collective yearning for transcendence that can often manifest in substance mis-use.
And yes, this shift to a more balanced brain state—where left and right, masculine and feminine, thinking and feeling—work in tandem, is also part of Pinchbeck’s Now Age vision. The challenge: investigate ways to get there that are also physically restorative, mentally enlivening, emotionally supportive, and spiritually fulfilling.
:: FRIDAY :: Making plans to head to The Deep End Club community gathering tomorrow, and donate a bunch of Numinous sweatshirts to Standing Rock. They’re super cozy, after all. What have you got to give?
It’s time to stop using spirituality as an escape—and embrace our humanity, says Alexandra Roxo…
In times likes these—where we have somehow managed to elect a president with terrifying beliefs and judgements, where Native people are still fighting to protect the Earth while most everyone else walks around trying to protect money—I feel like it’s so obvious. As a culture and a people we need to get out of our heads and into our feet. Into our wombs, our pussies, and THE EARTH.
We’ve become so focused on “success,” making money, how we climb and grow. All masculine principles. All in the mind. Goal oriented. We barely notice when animals become endangered. We forget to talk about climate change.
It’s not our fault, it’s what we were born into: a consumerist, capitalist culture. When I ask my clients about how much time they spend focusing on their sexual energy or creative energy or with their feet on the ground, it PALES in comparison to how much time is spent in the realm of the computer. Money. Capital. Thought. Even meditation. It’s all up, up, up, into the Cloud.
But the way I see it, we need to go down, down, down! Get back into our bodies. And it turns out spirituality, just like work or booze, can become an escape from the pains and earthy work of being human.
Speaking as somebody who can be a spirituality abuser myself, I think it’s time we stop using it as such. Let me tell you a story about why.
***
When I was 13 I had a bad year. 1: I got held down by a bunch of boys and sprayed with red super soaker guns in 30 degree weather while calling me names. I punched one of them and everyone hated me. 2: My bestie’s parents called us out for being gay after she told them we had innocently experimented sexually together and forbade us to be friends anymore. I was DEVASTATED.
So what did I do? I went to church to get SAVED. This was my first bout of checking out of human life by saying: “God I can’t take it down here! Beam me up!” I spoke in tongues, got saved like 100 times. And even wore Abercormbie. (No offense.) My New-Age-psychic-seeing-Angel-lovin-Enya-listening Mom got worried.
Eventually I went back to feeling like I could manage down here. I did theatre, volunteer work/built homes for homeless, wore 4-inch cork wedges to school, flirted with boys, and learned all the dance moves to “Bye Bye Bye.” But my spirituality abuser didn’t go away. I always found some new practice to dive into. Some psychic to look to for the answers.
By age 19 I found myself sitting on a spiritual pedestal feeling like I was “special” and that others “weren’t awake.” While doing an acting exercise in college my teacher called me out in front of the class: “You are using spirituality a mask. It’s keeping you from feeling things and being here. Go back to your seat and come back when you want to be real.” DAMN. I was crushed. But I took her words wisely and went home, cried for about three days, painted, wrote love letters, laughed with friends and gently got down off my spiritual high horse.
It happened again though. Only two years later, after a trauma abroad, I was ready to sign up to be a monastic in a commune in Italy where I had been meditating in caves, sitting on cold stone floors, and wearing communal Cosby sweaters. I renounced sex, alcohol, or anything “of the flesh!” Mom got worried again.
I found my way back to humanity again. But my spiritual extremist rears her head every so often. I see her spending more time reading horoscopes than DOING things that can help. Talking more to other realms than folks in Trader Joe’s. Diving into days of plant medicine ceremonies and shamanic journeys. And avoiding the harsh pains of reality. Any of this sounding familiar?
As wonderful as it it to wake at 6am and meditate every day, to read all the articles and check the horoscopes and pull a card from all the decks, I am trying to refrain. In the name of balance.
My aim is to cultivate as much of an EARTH practice as I have a SPIRITUAL one. Which means for every meditation or journey to the spirit realms, I better be doing something here here on Earth. CAUSE I WAS BORN A HUMAN. And the Earth needs me. Head out of phone. Feeling my toes in the dirt. Pussy alive with energy and life force. Does ALL LIFE originate in my brain? NAH, IT’S IN THE PUSS.
***
I don’t think it’s enough to just pray and send love and light to Trump, or anyone for that matter. Pray for peace, yes. For love, yes. But I think we also need to get dirt under our nails and be humble and immerse ourselves in what’s happening out on the streets.
And so I urge you, like I urge ME, to embrace your humanity!
Get in the pub and talk to old Latino men and share food and drink with them.
Instead of reading another self-help book (like me!) go to the rally. Sign up to volunteer. Watch documentaries and educate yourself. Go to open mics and comedy clubs in areas that are new to you and mingle with people who aren’t like you.
Let’s look at how much we’re spending on “spiritual” paraphernalia, and re-balance the books! How about a pole dancing class instead? Donations to planned parenthood? Community gardening?
Let’s admit that we don’t know the answers. It’s not fair to all the other folks who have been working tirelessly for years if we pretend we know how to save the world with our ascension ideas. (I mean would you say that to an 85-year-old Native woman? Nah, probs not.)
And remember. If and when we need a strict practice to get us through a hard time, it will ALWAYS be there. You won’t lose it. Because it’s in you! “Spirit” won’t get angry and turn its back on you. I promise.
But for now the world needs YOU and your humanity. Out there. Off the mountain and in the streets.
I love you.
Moon Club co-founder Alexandra Roxo is a filmmaker and intuitive coach living in LA. Read more about her work at www.alexandraroxo.com and follow her love and sex and life woes and victories on Instagram.
Sagittarius season is an invitation to explore our innate wildness, and expand our personal Universe, say Cara George & Bess Matassa of Mojave Rising…
Sagittarius season hoists us up from the underworld and sends us racing out onto the open plains of our own exuberant BECOMING. The zodiac’s expansive equestrian spills her blossoming vines over walls and across the borders of previous limitations, as she urges us to extend our adventuring to off-road spaces we couldn’t have imagined even in our wildest moments.
So pack your carry-ons, saddle your ponies, and let the wind throw back your hair. Your wildness cannot be broken or tamed or lost or found, but is constantly being born through the very air that you breathe. Fall in love with the blood coursing through your own veins and then let this love run faster and faster out across rich golden fields under carpets of pink stars.
Because baby you were born to run. And where we’re going, there are no roads.
The keyword: Locomotion.
The song lyrics: “Oh girl, dancing down those dirty and dusty trails/Take it hip to hip, rocket through the wilderness/Around the world the trip begins with a kiss”—The B-52s, “Roam”
Check out our Sagittarius season playlist, complete with wide-open anthems, road-trip rockers, and exploratory psychedelia.
The color palette: Nomadic hues fit for a full-on bacchanalian feast. Saffron, mustard, glitter-dusted taupe, and gypsy jewel-toned amethysts and rubies.
The style: Traveling circus performer meets Rio carnival queen on Route 66. Feathers, sequined unitards, untameable patterns, rich tapestried fabrics, and body-con mobility complete with cowboy boots and Canadian tuxedos.
The scents and flavors: Spiced, smoked, and hedonistically heated—warm curries, smoked trail mix, campfire, beef jerky, ancho, cinnamon, and cedarwood.
The healing: Exuberantly excessive and exploratorily expansive. All-night dance parties, adventure traveling, lost weekends, multi-course meals, and urban scavenger hunts.
Sensuous Invitation of the Month: Dance party! (by sign, below).
With Chiron stationing direct, and Venus joining Mars in Aquarius, Sagittarius season 2016 is infused with a call to face our pain head on and shake it out onto the dancefloor to be transformed under strobe lights. This month marks a radical opportunity for moving energy through our bodies, re-envisioning “the way things are,” and rediscovering deep meaning in places of seeming hopelessness.
Each sign can sample its own brand of kinetic expression as we let our bodies collide and celebrate the sheer exhilaration of movement and ever-unfolding change. Let’s werk!
***
ARIES Sagittarius season invites you to relinquish some of your single-pointed focus as you journey towards the joyous buoyancy of infinite possibilities. Dance Party: Parkour. Solitary, assertive explorations that also rely on feedback from the built environment.
TAURUS Sagittarius season invites you to infuse your deeply sensual pragmatism with some grand futuristic schemes and dreams, however eccentric. Dance Party: Belly-dancing. Getting low and getting down with a fully-embodied practice that’s both rooted and nomadic.
GEMINI Sagittarius season invites you to go even further in your curious search for information, as you sample far-flung philosophies and belief systems, and begin to take a stand. Dance Party: Break-dancing. Responding to street culture and pledging yourself to the pavement.
CANCER Sagittarius season invites you to take your looniness out of its shell as you experiment with sharing your creative process with the wider world. Dance Party: Pole-dancing. Sensual self-pleasure that’s unabashedly unafraid.
LEO Sagittarius season invites you to share your generous, pulsing heart with people outside of your usual circle and to let yourself be changed through these collisions. Dance Party: Roller-disco. Hot-blooded, glittery glamour on wheels complete with rainbow lights and necessary negotiations between sequined skaters.
VIRGO Sagittarius season invites you to let it all come undone as you leap headfirst into the experience without painstaking preparation. Dance Party: Irish step dancing. Intricacy and rapidity that springs into action from the ground up.
LIBRA Sagittarius season invites you to rock the boat as you push towards complete honesty, even when it’s far from diplomatic. Dance Party: Synchronized swimming. Idealized aesthetics meet rugged physicality and strong-willed teamwork.
SCORPIO Sagittarius season invites you to mix your darkness with light as you trust into both the gravity and levity of this luscious adventure. Dance Party: Flamenco. Raw intensity that harnesses the glorious sensation of passionate living.
SAGITTARIUS Sagittarius season invites you to both revel in your wildness and seek committed conduits for your restlessness. Dance Party: Wedding dances. From the electric slide to the macarena, sampling the full-range of party moves while celebrating romantic loyalty.
CAPRICORN Sagittarius season invites you to experiment with some healthy excess as you relax some of your ascetic measures and feast on the world around you. Dance Party: Ballroom dancing. Structure, tradition, and classical cool take to the floor with opulently majestic gowns and footwear.
AQUARIUS Sagittarius season invites you to release from what’s “right” or what “should” be, and dive into the experience of unfolding meaning without creating calcified rules. Dance party: Modern dance. Interpretive, fluid maneuvers that push the edge of what’s possible in an embodied form.
PISCES Sagittarius season invites you to fully release into the sensation of boundarylessness as you break down the walls between yourself and the world. Dance Party: Crowd surfing. Giving your body over to the intangible faith that you will always be supported.
Discover more about Mojave Rising and their work at Mojaverising.com
Looking for a way to be of service? Look to your natural —and keep it simple, says Kerri Aab…
In spiritual communities, it’s often believed that at your lowest point, to be of service to someone else can turn your entire situation around. That looking past our own suffering for ways to alleviate the suffering of someone else is a key to happiness and fulfillment.
No time like the present to test the theory, right?
And if the phrases “alleviate suffering” and “being of service” bring to mind images of volunteering for the Peace Corps or doing mission work in Africa, it’s worth keeping in mind that an act of service can include anything from smiling at a stranger, to complimenting a struggling mama at the grocery store, to baking some cookies for your neighbor.
Being of service doesn’t have to mean some grand act of self-sacrifice. It simply means reaching out. And sometimes the actions that have most impact are the simplest.
Case in point: late last year I was deeply depressed. Not un-common for me during the time of year we’re supposed to be making merry. I’m used to the holiday blues.
But last year was different. There was an ache and an emptiness that none of my go-to spiritual or healing practices seemed to be able to reach. I looked for guidance and sought all kinds of remedies to take the pain away—but the more I grasped, the worse things seemed.
I felt hopeless, helpless, and adrift.
Then, one morning during my daily self Reiki practice, I felt compelled to turn my Reiki hands not towards myself, but rather, to send the Reiki out. I did so and there I sat for the next hour with a vague intention of sending Reiki to “anyone in need.”
No, there were no unicorns swooping over the horizon, and no rainbows suddenly appeared— but I noticed how my sense of despair had lifted. Enough for me to send distance Reiki out again the next day. And the next.
Within a week, I’d decided to make a daily practice of sending out Reiki to others. Shortly after which, brief little messages of hope or inspiration would come through during my morning Reiki time, which I texted to a few friends. These messages began as subtle little thoughts that I attributed to my mind regurgitating information from years spent dedicated to learning about spirituality and energy medicine.
I quickly came to believe however, that these messages, which were growing in length and intensity, were the work of a much larger energy that I was somehow tapping into. God? The Universe (what I call “The Big U”)? Who knows. I’ve come to refer to the bearers of these messages as my “etheric pals” though, as I now palpably feel their energy in the room with me and they feel like friends.
Within a month I had a consistent daily practice that I was being guided to share further. So I sent out an email to friends and family, offering free distance daily Reiki, plus an optional inspirational email, to anyone who requested it.
To my surprise and delight, almost every single person replied with a resounding “COUNT ME IN!” and the list has continued to grow ever since. People come, people go. But, no matter what, I sit down every morning, send Reiki, and write an email about the message I heard during the session.
Has my depression lifted, and I been living in Reiki bliss since then? Here’s where I disappoint you. This isn’t one of those “and then my whole life changed and everything is love and light” type stories.
But here’s what did happen.
This simple act of using a gift I have been given, to help others, has confirmed for me the importance of being of service in the world.
My daily act of service has given me an anchor to hold onto on days when depression hits so hard that I don’t want to open my eyes. It does this by providing the focus and energy I need to get through to the other side.
My act of service has given my life a foundation of consistency. Rain or shine, I know that people are counting on me and looking to me for the support I pledged to give them. This is the best motivator for sticking to any practice.
My act of service has gifted me with humility and perspective. That people trust me with their stories and with a small aspect of their personal growth is humbling and something I take very seriously. These stories continually remind me of how freakin’ blessed I am when there’s so much suffering in the world.
And, during this very trying post-election week, showing up for the Reiki crew has, at times, felt like the only thing giving me a flicker of hope. When I have felt useless and truly despairing, sitting down to energetically uplift others has reminded me of why I’m on this planet. Which is to anchor the human experience in goodness. To help others find their inner power.
I am also so grateful for the replies I receive each day from people all over the world, about how a particular message changed them or inspired them to go out and spread some joy of their own. The benefits of service are contagious!
So, are you in?
We’ve all been given different gifts—and they are not ours to hoard or hide away. But to give away, inspiring others to do the same.
If you’re feeling plunged into darkness at this time, my advice is to simply give of yourself in whatever way you can. There are endless ways to be of service in the world, so find your gift and share it. Take action. If you want to make the world a better place, then go out and do it. When in doubt, look out.
Do you sing? Bring your voice to the elderly. Make a mean lasagna? Cook for the hungry. Love spending time with children? Babysit for a mama who needs a break. Have a green thumb? Help start a community garden.
And if you think you can’t do this, I would like to gently remind you that you can. After all, a man was just elected to the highest office in the land with zero experience. And if he can believe in himself and his abilities, so can you.
So can you.
I was reminded the other day of a great quote from Jonathan Larson’s musical Rent: “The opposite of war isn’t peace. It’s creation.”
It’s time to create the world in which we wish to live. It’s time for us to use our gifts to create beauty, peace, unity, love, acceptance and hope for all. One simple act of service at a time.
Kerri Aab, BFRP is a Bach Foundation Registered Practitioner, a Reiki practitioner, quantum biofeedback practitioner, Kundalini yogi, dancer, singer and group fitness instructor. Click here to register for FREE DAILY DISTANCE REIKI with Kerri, and discover more about her healing work at Seedtoblossom.com.
From Austin, TX, to the West Coast…it’s been a week of life lessons from the road.
:: MONDAY—WEDNESDAY:: Anybody who follows my Instagram feed will know the Pisces and I have been on a road-trip the past two weeks. Schedule: Austin—Marfa—Santa Fe—Sedona—Grand Canyon—Vegas—Palm Springs—Joshua Tree—LA. And it has been a TRIP—meaning the daily checking off of bucket list items, AND the deep and thorough examination of the contents of my head / current situation.
As I’m back in NY for a few days this week (yep there’s more to come!), I wanted to take the opportunity to record a few spiritual lessons from the road. Here goes:
Even your soul project / true calling / dharma work can become a ball and chain if you let it. In fact, there’s perhaps an even stronger likelihood of it taking over your entire life than a “regular” job where you clock in and out every day, since it’s what you were “born to do.” Like breathing. And so it feels natural to do it ALL THE TIME. Getting away from my desk and onto the open road gave me some invaluable perspective on how, with so many projects bubbling (book, sweatshirt line, live events, Club SÖDA NYC, etc!) I have allowed The Numinous to become my everything this year, to the point that there was no space in my life for…ME. Let alone for it to still feel like fun. This realization hit has I found myself trying to get a WiFi signal hiking somewhere in the Sedona red rocks, and suffering extreme bouts of anxiety at the number of unread emails that were building up while I “wasted time” checking out the Grand Canyon. I mean WT actual F?
A road trip is the perfect crucible from some honest self-reflection. Since your driving buddy essentially acts as a giant mirror for all your shit—kind of like your higher self observes your ego mind running rings around itself in meditation. In my case, the Pisces was the voice of my higher self—my fretting over where to do the conference call I had scheduled in TWO DAYS TIME, my fearful monkey mind trying to stay in “control” as my external environment shifted on an hourly basis. “You don’t have to do any of it if you don’t want to,” he reminded me. “You chose all this.” And what a fucking privilege too! The key insight being, that if I chose this work, then it is absolutely in my power to un-choose any bits that are no longer working for me. Like responding to every email I get within the hour. And same goes for all of us, in ANY situation, actually. YOU get to chose where your energy goes.
I do not need any more crystals, animal totems, oracle decks, or bunches of sage. A.k.a. all the trappings of “spiritual materialism”—a term that’s come up a few times lately, and so obviously was asking to be pondered. Not to mention my go-to on every stop of our trip being to seek out the best esoteric book store in town—which began to feel a bit like bypassing the art and going straight to the museum shop. As you can imagine, my house is FULL of spiritual paraphernalia—a Ganesh here, a clutch of crystals there. And it’s all very pretty. But I can’t honestly say I feel a true connection to most of it. And what become so clear on my trip was that all that “stuff,” for me, is simply a collection of talismans for the real spiritual work (the “art,” if you like) that’s happening on the inside. What I would define as the honest self-inquiry into WHO I AM and WHAT I NEED be the most fully me—as in, the truest expression of my spiritual self. Example: a healer I worked with recently told me a could use some Malachite in my life. But as I found myself returning lump after lump of the pretty green rock to its shelf in various esoteric stores along our route, I was also coming to the realization that what I truly need to develop spiritually is less time responding to emails, and more discernment on where I’m placing my energy (see points no. 1 & 2).
My email / work addiction is way worse than my alcohol addiction. As I explained when I wrote out my sober curious story a couple of weeks ago, my path to a more sober life over the past few years has meant a lot of sober firsts. And besides a few beers at the Austin City Limits festival on the first night of our trip, this has been my first ever (well, since the age of 15 or so I guess) sober vacation. “Holiday drinking” had always been my sobriety hall-pass (“I’ll only drink on holiday”), and so stepping outside of this has allowed for plenty of opportunity to witness my alcohol cravings and where they come from. And—ta-da!—the majority of the time I find myself fantasizing about a cocktail, it’s to flick the switch from work to play mode. Or rather, numb out the constant desire to…numb out with work and email! Being off my laptop has meant being fully present with my (not always exactly carefree, vacay-ready) self—showing me the extent to which I use work / being productive and busy, as a way to NOT just be with me. Which is what vacations are all about…which is why I now see I always held booze (believing it to be the most effective off-switch from work) as a vacay staple.
Hugging trees is the best. The hippies knew it, and every time I remember to do it I’m reminded how good and grounding, how calm, regenerative, and holy it feels to put your arms around a tree and really squeeze. Cut to Joshua Tree, where I found myself doing some filming with my boo Alexandra Roxo for a VERY EXCITING PROJECT (yes, another one!!) we’re launching on your asses next month. At one point, Roxo whips off her shirt and grabs the nearest trunk—the naked part not so natural for me, but my own tree-hug just as heartfelt. Our mutual friend Madeline has got into it lately too, “and she says it’s like doing a drug deal,” Alexandra joked. “In the city, you have to look in all directions and then go for it while you’re sure no-body’s watching.” Well, I say screw that! Who cares if they see? Tree-hugger and proud. A part of me I’ve been happy to re-connect with on the road.
Scenes from The Softer Image. Behind me, there was wild dancing and kava shots…
:: THURSDAY :: I have to make some space here for beautiful Luke Simon’s nightlife experiment The Softer Image, a substance-free “high-vibe lounge” that debuted in NYC tonight. So happy I was back in town for this!! Said vibey “highs” were supplied by the equally divine Sah D’Simone‘s alchemical elixirs and tonics, a group trance to kick the evening off by talented hypnotherapist Shauna Cummins, and THE BEST old school housey soundtrack from DJ Bryce Hackford. There were hugs, wild dancing, impromptu reiki sessions, and my clock read 11.11pm before I knew it. Held in a Chinatown loft, maybe it was the kava shots, but the feel I kept getting was 4am-loved-up-after-party—only it all ended by midnight and everybody was completely sober. Thank you, Universe (and Luke), for hearing my pleas—and delivering a new way to switch off from work and have FUN. No alcohol required!
:: FRIDAY :: I hate the rain. But today I love the rain. Since I’m my own boss, I shall be choosing to mainly work from underneath my duvet. Which will mostly mean reading the early proofs of Guru Jagat’s new book Invincible Living, ahead of my live Q&A with her at tomorrow’s Numinous Presents event in Brooklyn. I bet she has a thing or two to say about email addiction…since Kundalini yoga was developed by Yogi Bhajan as an antidote to what he saw (way back in the sixties) as the onset of “technology sickness.” Intrigued? There a still a few spots left—click here to discover more and sign up.
For Gabby Bernstein sobriety played an important role in her spiritual awakening. Ruby Warrington asks her, could we all benefit from a more sober life?
I received my copy of Gabby Bernstein’s new book, The Universe Has Your Back, right when I was in the middle of organizing our #TuneInPeaceOut initiative for World Peace Day. Translation: I had zero time to sit down and read it. But an interesting thing happened.
Flicking through the pages, every time I stopped Gabby was riffing on how her sobriety had played such an important part in her spiritual journey. And experimenting with a sober life myself right now (check out my Club SÖDA NYC project here) the message that this is exactly the right path for me came through loud and clear (thank you, Universe!)
It was also clear that for Gabby Bernstein sobriety had played an important part in her spiritual awakening. I decided to sit down with her, to talk about the link between sobriety and spirituality, and get her advice on living sober.
(And p.s. the day I’m running this post—October 02 2016—is her 11 years’ sober anniversary!)
Ruby Warrington: So the reason I’m trying to be sober is because the way I feel when there’s no alcohol in my system is like, “Fuck, this is who I AM.” And honestly, I no longer feel like I can show up and properly serve on my mission these days unless I’m 100% myself.
Gabrielle Bernstein: I love that, and I think you should be sober then. That’s part of the reason I’m sober. This is the only consciousness I want to have. Although of course sometimes I’m like, ‘bye bye, get me the hell out of here’!
RW: That’s the thing, sometimes that still sounds nice! Especially when, and I know you’ve had issues with this too because you’ve written about it, I end up replacing alcohol with work. I fucking love what I do, so that’s okay. But then, where’s the release, where’s the escape?
GB: I have had to find that in the last five or six months. I realized I had become severely addicted to work, because I’ve been running for so long from these fears that I didn’t want to see. In the beginning stages of healing from this, I would find myself going to my desk and sitting down and literally numbing out with work. I was like, “Oh my God, that’s how I’ve been hiding.”
RW: I do that too. There’s a sense of relief when I can say, “Oh good, I’ve got like three hours of solid emails now and I can’t think about anything else.”
GB: Exactly. So what I’ve done is freed up a lot of that space for meditation. I meditate a lot longer.
RW: More meditation than your two TM sessions?
GB: I’m doing this Doreen Virtue chord cutting meditation in the morning, and then a TM meditation in the afternoon. It’s super good, I’m going to send it to you. As a result, I’ve been feeling more connected than ever. It also has to do with not playing into the word addiction, and being willing to heal.
Carrot juice on our interview date
RW: So on the sobriety thing, one reason I created Club SÖDA NYC is because I don’t feel like I identify the word “alcoholic.” As somebody in recovery, do you believe there is a middle ground when it comes to alcohol addiction?
GB: Absolutely. And it’s so good that you’re doing that. There’s some people that don’t find their way to AA but they want to have a way to get out of alcohol.
RW: When do you remember first finding an escape with alcohol and drugs?
GB: I guess in college, when it was uppers that I liked. I didn’t really even like alcohol that much, it was more like the snorting things.
RW: You mean uppers like Adderall?
GB: Yeah that’s what I was in to. I never liked alcohol, I just needed it to balance myself out. But by the time I hit my rock bottom in 2005 I was doing drugs and drinking every day.
RW: Were you fully aware of that being a problem?
GB: Yeah everyday I’d be like, “Shouldn’t do that again.” And then do it again. It was probably only seven months that it was really bad. The really bad didn’t last that long.
RW: So how did you seek help?
GB: I went to an addiction specialist who helped me understand that I was an alcoholic, because at the time I thought that I was just a drug addict. He was like, “No, you have an alcohol problem.” And I was like, “what do you mean?” He’s like, “Well what do you do every time you have a drink?” I was like, “I do drugs.” He showed me how this meant I was drinking unmanageably.
RW: I recently read an amazing book on alcohol addiction called “This Naked Mind.” And based on the teachings of this, plus my personal observations, I feel like a lot more people than will ever admit—even to themselves—are in a similar situation with alcohol and drugs. Do you believe this to be the case?
GB: I think that people definitely struggle…but it’s hard for me to comment because most of my friends today are sober. Well not “sober,” they just don’t really drink because they’re really health conscious. So I don’t see that much abuse of substances in my day to day. A lot of people come up to me and say, “Oh I got sober because of Spirit Junkie.” I hear people’s sobriety stories, but I don’t see people in their addiction anymore. But overall, I think it’s an epidemic. I mean addiction is an epidemic.
RW: And actually alcohol still kills more people than all prescription and all illegal drugs put together…
GB: Even more heroin?
RW: Insane, right? And in tests it’s the only drug that falls into the “extreme risk” category for addiction. Yet it’s the one that’s pushed on you from every direction the minute you’re old enough.
GB: Right. And I do think that from a spiritual perspective, if you want to have a closer connection with God then you can’t be muddying your consciousness.
RW: Which leads me to my next question. Do you believe that anyone who identifies as being on a spiritual path or who is seeking in that way, would benefit from at least trying an extended period of sobriety?
GB: Absolutely. I don’t want to say that if you’re on a spiritual path, you have to be sober. There are plenty of people that I know that are fine with a glass of wine. They have it once a week and they’re fucking fine. But I do think that it will only benefit you spiritually to have a sober life.
RW: My experience of this has been feeling truly “whole.” I think this is because as much as alcohol is about numbing out from fear, it’s also about hiding the parts of yourself that you don’t necessarily understand. That you find it hard to love and accept.
GB: Yes, that you don’t want to admit to, and you don’t want to feel.
RW: Totally. So I think for me, that sense of wholeness has been about accepting that even if I don’t really like myself today, that’s still me. It’s all part of myself. You know? So what about the plant medicines that everybody’s doing now, like ayahuasca?
GB: Well, I think sober is sober, and that’s a mind altering substance. You know my spiritual teachers do it and I’m not going to judge anybody, but I would definitely say that’s a relapse if you think you’re sober. Most sober people wouldn’t even take NyQuil!
RW: I hear you! So I’m kind of at this point where I’m experimenting with trying to experience each situation I would normally associate with drinking sober…
GB: You want to know how you quit drinking? You no longer give yourself permission. We all have permission giving thoughts—and, for example, I’ve been off sugar for three years now because I no longer give myself permission to have sugar. if you were like, “I’m no longer giving myself permission, any more, to have alcohol,” then interesting things could happen.
RW: Vacation are the really tough one for me…
GB: I feel like that’s okay! I think you can maybe not give yourself permission unless its a vacation. Except you have to be really strong, like, “When I come back I have to stop this.” Because even eating things on vacation that I wouldn’t normally eat, like cheese or bread. I come home and I want those things!
RW: Well I’m ready, because the more I commit to not drinking, the more I feel like this is a part of the consciousness shift that’s occurring right now. Like people are really invested in the idea that you can get high by tuning in, not numbing out. I think you’ve helped to spearhead this, and it’s actually been a really important part of your story, you know?
GB: There’s no doubt that getting sober was the catalyst for my spiritual awakening. I’ve had many, many more since that day, but that was the turning point for me. It was when I chose a life of deep connection rather than a life of numbing out. It was when I chose to wake up.
Gabrielle Bernstein’s new book, The Universe Has Your Back, is out now on Hay House. And we’re giving away one signed copy!
To win, tag your next Instagram post with #NumiUniverse. Make sure to follow and tag @The_Numinous and be sure to add the hashtag #NumiUniverse—otherwise we won’t see your post! Winners will be picked at random and notified via direct Instagram message.
Deadline for entries: 1 p.m. (EST) October 5, 2016.
Heal the instrument of your voice to not only speak but also live in your truth, says Emma Whitehair… Artwork: Dr Steve Hinkey
The throat is a physical bridge between our body and mind, while its chakra governs our communication and search for truth. It’s the most powerful but also the most vulnerable of all seven chakras, and with so many of us struggling express our true needs, a blocked throat chakra is more common than a cold these days (even if the “symptoms” could feel the same).
If this chakra does not have a healthy flow, not only will your relationships with others be difficult but you will not be receiving clear guidance from your intuition. On the other hand, however, once beautifully balanced, negative experiences are transformed into wisdom and ultimately you are open to a higher level of consciousness.
My business is PR and writing, and no one who knows me would think I had any blocks in the area of communication. However, what can’t be seen is that I’ve had a pretty much permanent, choked up feeling for, I don’t know, months, years…lifetimes! It’s hard to tell as I only properly noticed it early this year, when I started to really get tuned in to Self.
At its most intense, it’s an energetic constriction like a noose around my neck, but mostly it’s a lump in my throat, like I’m on the brink of tears—even when there’s no apparent reason for it.
After googling ‘throat cancer’ and ‘thyroid problems’ then giving myself the all-clear (with a deep sense of relief!), I found myself drawn to a chakra workshop with James French advertised at the Yoga Loft in London—I was ready to find out if this throat funk was a spiritual malady.
On this two-day course, I discovered that Vishuddha (the Sanskrit name for the throat chakra) has a developmental age of 7 to12. Probably no coincidence that this was when my parents divorced and I was packed off to a strange boarding school. I also learnt that the corresponding sense of this fifth chakra is hearing, giving me the excuse I was looking for to connect with sound healing practitioner, Ashera Hart, who I had met a few days before.
Ashera had hosted an incredibly powerful sonic breath + gong bath event, that had been listed by The Numinous, which had helped open my throat and started to stir things up in that area. Wondering if my unbalanced Vishuddha could be realigned further with the power of sound, I made the most of the opportunity to have a one-to-one session with Ashera in my home, while she was in London (rather than her usual base of Bali).
After this session, I met up with my healer, psychotherapist Fiona Arrigo to help me process what my body had shown me. She explained that traumas to the throat chakra are often connected to early childhood issues; when, if we experience emotional pain, we encounter separation. She commented that my adult vocal personality—which “on the surface is ballsy, clear and wise” is in juxtaposition to the inner child—who swallowed down her tears, and never expressed how she felt.
I asked by subconscious to say out loud the stories I may have been holding onto, and one resonated deeply: “no one is taking care of me…I’m alone.” And with that tears of relief fell down my cheeks. It all suddenly made sense—that part of me, the child, who had swallowed her sadness, was physically manifested like a bitter pill, stuck in my throat for over 30 years.
Fiona reminded me “to meet the understanding that we ARE alone in this life.” She also explained that the feeling I encountered during the sound healing, of being held, was the Universal holding, and in that moment, I had flipped my scratched record. Rather than archived pain, I had experienced something way more profound—a spiritual embrace so meaningful it had helped heal that source fracture.
My journey with this continues. Read on for 10 STEPS I’ve investigated to help with starting to CLEAR YOUR THROAT CHAKRA.
:: STEP BACK IN TIME :: What unexpressed emotion or story are you holding on to? Once that’s understood, then it’s important to try and change the record, in order to free yourself. Byron Katie’s The Work might do it for you. Alternatively, perhaps you story is more complex—could it be from a pre-verbal era, or another life?
I spoke to Sue Minns, who’s book ‘Bodies & Souls’ touches on the throat chakra (as well as the others) and she explained the following to me:
“Chakras are like micro-chips of soul information that are links to our past experiences on earth, and connection to where we came from. The throat chakra, if holding negative memories, will become a bottleneck, a block to our true Self expression. Many of us (especially as women) have had gruesome deaths as a result of speaking out, spreading the word, saying the spells.
The throat is the chakra of secrets and lies, whispers and screams—and of speaking your truth without fear. A historical ‘block’ will obstruct cosmic, divine energy coming through the Crown and Third Eye to reach the Heart. It will short circuit at the throat if it cannot pass through. The central column (Sushumna) needs to be an open conduit between heaven and earth so that we can remember both our source and our purpose on this earth.”
:: SOUL MANTRA :: “The 1st Law of Healing—all disease is inhibited Soul Life. The job of the healer is to lift the downcast eyes upward unto the Soul, and the Soul does the work” – Dr Steve Hinkey
So how do we allow the soul to work its magic? Mantras should allow the soul to take position naturally and Steve gave me these to use to unblock the throat chakra:
Because ‘I am…’ is so powerful, and soul infusion the ultimate achievement: “I am the soul infused throat”.
To use if starting to experience, or resist tension in the throat: “I am wanting to know my soul’s process, as it expresses itself through my throat chakra”
As no-one evolves without loving what they have, including dis-ease, this as a good all-rounder:
“I love myself as I am”
:: SOUND HEALING :: Ashera Hart hosts The Frequency Shift solfeggio journeys, which encourage a Theta brainwave state, through healing vibrations, helping you access intuition, transform limiting beliefs and most especially—clear energy blockages.
I attended one of her ‘Sonic Immersion’ events (at Kind Yoga in London) which was a blissfully relaxing 90-minute experience. With the Zobet (solfeggio) healing frequencies along with sounds of the ocean, the cosmos and nature, Ashera accompanied this with an ethereal vocal invocation, tuning forks, chimes, shamanic drum and percussion.
We were told we may have dreams that night, that might reveal what is unresolved and one of mine was quite interesting. The throat chakra’s traumas can include alcoholism and yelling—both themes which were visited while in an abstract and gentle dream featuring my much loved childhood pet dog…
:: CONSCIOUS COMMUNICATION :: Which means honoring your feelings, understanding your needs and kindly requesting that they are met. With authentic expression however, comes responsibility. There’s also a delicate balance between being honest and tactful, and on some occasions silence is golden.
Voicing irritations and raising one’s voice, for example, can pollute the throat chakra, as can gossiping, blaming, criticizing, or any other type of negative communication. If you start thinking in these terms, try to raise the vibration before saying anything. Also use this checklist:
Is what you are about to say true?
If so, is it necessary to be said, and does it need to be said by you?
If the answer is yes, ask yourself if what you are about to say is kind/compassionate/loving.
Hearing is the fifth chakra’s sense and therefore listening is one of its most important realms of communication. That means listening to both your inner voice, and the voice of others. I think I may have an overactive Vishuddha, as I speak super fast (often with no filter) and sometimes feel impatient while listening.
With this in mind, I have made a conscious effort to start listening more intently, giving the other person my full undivided attention, putting away any devices and waiting (patiently!) to hear the them out completely before jumping in. This helps me to read between the lines and decipher others’ real needs, in order to respond in the right way.
:: THE AH MANTRA :: To cleanse and purify any impure energy of speech, let the “AH” sound fill your throat for a few minutes.
One of the most powerful mantras on the planet, this sound is found in the name of most deities: Tara, Buddha, Krishna, Yah, Yeheshua, Saraswati, Wakantanka, Quan Yin, etc., along with many of the sacred words (Amen, Alleluia, AUM).
‘AH’ is also a sound related to the throat chakra, so it’s no coincidence that ‘AH HEM’—is the sound unconsciously made when a person clears his/her throat. While on a more conscious level, the Buddhist mantra ‘OM AH HUM’ is explained by my yoga guru Cat as “translating to body, speech and mind—speech being an integral part of having a harmonious co-existence with all living beings and speaking up for those who may lack a ‘voice’.”
:: USE YOUR VOICE :: As long as the intention is pure, ANY way that you use your voice will help draw fresh energy through your throat chakra. I touch on the benefits of singing in this story and you can also hum, whistle, groan, sigh—ask your body what sounds need to be released, and just go for it, dialing up the volume if need be.
:: TEAR JERKERS :: The throat is where I store my tears, and those that came with discovering my stuck story were beautifully cathartic. And as I know there are more to come, as part of my healing I chose my moments to indulge in deliberately triggering a little cry, with film.
When we watch weepies, it releases not only emotion, but also oxytocin, aka the love or cuddle hormone, which also regulates crying. A boost of oxytocin gives feelings of bonding, empathy, trust and maternal behavior, and it can’t differentiate between actual human beings and flickering images of them. If, like me, you have stuck emotion to release, this 10-minute supercut of tear jerking movie moments should have you sobbing in no time, letting those loving feelings wash over you. You’re welcome!
:: MUSIC :: As sound is Vishuddha’s sense, music can also be a powerful activator. Partly down to some of the lyrics, melody, story or my personal associations, these tracks seem to resonate with the emotions stored within my throat chakra, allowing me to feel and heal.
What would be on on your Vishuddha playlist?
:: YOGA :: Correcting one’s posture is key when re-aligning chakra’s, and these two yoga asanas, should help open up and/or activate the throat:
Fish (Matsyasana): Not only does this stretch the neck, it also strengthens the neck muscles needed to balance and stimulate the throat chakra.
Shoulder stand (Salamba Sarvangasana): considered the Queen of all yoga poses, because of its amazing healing abilities. Doing shoulder stands regularly is an excellent way to keep your thyroid healthy and helps sufferers of asthma (like me).
Two Pranayama exercises that also bring heat and stimulate the throat chakra are the Ujjayi and lion’s breath.
:: HEALING ROCKS :: You can re-balance Vishuddha by stimulating its reflex points in the feet and hands: the connection point of the big toe with the feet, and halfway down the thumb. I’m taking this a step further by wearing a memento mori, which I had made by Zoe & Morgan, that hits this point of my left thumb. A gold ring depicting a skull with diamond eyes on angel wings. A little reminder of both my mortal and immortal self—to help me be more conscious and stop sweating the small stuff!
Zoe & Morgan have also created this beautiful throat chakra ring. Featuring Aquamarine, the stone of the sea, which helps the throat chakra to open, and communication to flow like water.
Other stones that are good for rebalancing the throat chakra include: lapis lazuli, blue topaz, turquoise, chrysocolla, sodalite and my favourite—sapphires, which I wear on a necklace and ring. Try wearing these stones so they sit on your throat chakra for the full healing benefit.
:: TRUE BLUE BABY I LOVE YOU :: Considered a hue for health, blue’s calming effect helps restore balance to the throat chakra, and for me, my blue healing comes from connecting with the ocean. My happy is getting out under blue skies (ether—the throat’s element) whenever I can, and in the sea at least every few months. However, when that’s not possible a pool also does the trick. So treat yourself to a spa day, and the immersion in water as a kind of soul soothing, spiritual cleansing.
The Virgo New Moon Eclipse is an invitation to refine and redesign your world from the inside out, says Sandra Sitron. Artwork: Anastasia Borowska
We have a New Moon Solar Eclipse at 9 degrees Virgo on Thursday, September 1st at 5:03 am ET
The New Moon is a chance to start fresh. And THIS New Moon coincides with a Solar Eclipse, which also speaks to new beginnings. At the time of a Solar Eclipse, we collectively experience a massive reset. If we want to follow the flow of this energy, it is a time to be quiet and feel into where we are ready to make a fresh start.
Occurring in Virgo, the cosmos suggests that this fresh start may be in the area of Self-Improvement. Virgo refines, refines, and refines some more. And Virgo practices. With each new approach Virgo makes practical adaptations and adjustments. Because Virgo is an Earth sign, the focus here is on improving anything that is of the material world. Our health. The environment. The work that we do to sustain ourselves.
I have the sense that this Virgo New Moon Eclipse as being like the moment just before conception. No plans have been made. The DNA has not yet been arranged. We are in the space between breaths; a moment that is at once empty and full of promise. Virgo is so practical, so earthly, and so full of thoughts. This New Moon offers a chance for the thoughts to stop and a door to open. So where does the doorway lead?
As you ponder this question, allow yourself as much space as you need. Know that you can change everything or nothing. Give yourself the gift of agency and of vision. Start asking yourself questions and writing intentions. Know that anything is possible. When you write an intention, imagine how it would feel if that intention were actualized. Muster up this feeling with high-emotion and sit with it momentarily.
These questions may help prompt Virgo New Moon intentions…
– What adjustments do you want to make in your habits? – What adjustments do you want to make in your schedule? – What adjustments do you want to make in your work?
If your body could talk, what would IT say to you? What does your body need? Write a letter addressed from your body to yourself. And now ask…
– What is the smallest change you can make to improve your health? – What would support you most in creating positive changes in your life? – What is one thing you can easily shift to make your life more efficient? – What is one thing taking up your time and energy that is not a priority? Can you change it?
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The Stellium in Virgo The concentric circles of a ripple in water. The Moon joins the Sun, North Node, Jupiter and Mercury, all clustered in the sign of Virgo. A grouping of planets and points like this is called a Stellium. A Stellium creates a powerful focus of energy. This energy says: In this fresh start we reflect (Mercury Retrograde,) we expand (Jupiter) and we align with our purpose (North Node). Underlying all of this, we are making practical adjustments that bring us closer to our Earthly ideals (Virgo).
The symbol of the ripple in water shows us how powerful and focused this energy is. What intention caused the ripple in the water? How far will it reach? For there to be a ripple in water, the water must be still. Virgo energy is hardly ever still. Mutable Virgo energy is represented by the spiral—continuous adjustments to thoughts and actions. Part of Virgo medicine is the practice of mindfulness. Stilling the waves of the mind through meditation is a critical piece in the Virgo story. This stellium helps us create mindfulness and set focused new intentions for reflection, expansion and alignment with purpose. Then we can watch the ripples change our lives.
***
The New Moon is in a T-Square with Mars, Saturn and Neptune. A T-Square is an aspect pattern (two squares and an opposition), that looks like an arrow in the sky. It is tension that provokes action. By design, it helps us motivate. The stimulus to motivation is the challenge.
The New Moon Square Saturn and Mars An arrow flies into the wind. The arrow in flight is us being brought to emotional action. We can no longer deny our needs. We can no longer deny who we are. We must come to some sort of confrontation with the wind. We are moving through the wind and yet it pushes against us, restricting and blocking. Through the restriction we grow stronger. We need the restriction. We need the confrontation. We need to move through it so that we can finally see the truth.
The New Moon Opposite Neptune A jigsaw puzzle falls to the floor. We see the truth but then it vanishes. Or we create a picture of the truth and then realize that it was not real. We need to look and look again. We need to pick up the pieces and decide how they fit together. Maybe they create a different picture than the one we thought we saw. We need to do the work of fitting the pieces together one by one so that we can move toward the big picture that we desire.
This aspect tantalizes us with fantasy. Fantasy is how we manifest what we desire. Yet fantasy is also a construction of our subconscious. If we fantasize without practicing mindfulness, we will falter. If we create stories that are based on unexamined and outdated subconscious beliefs we will be continuously starting the puzzle from scratch.
***
So in the dark of this Virgo New Moon eclipse, sit and quiet your mind. Create a fantasy that reflects your truth. This will be your vision. Put it together piece by piece. Watch as the arrow gains strength and speed. Watch as the ripples of your intentions cause positive change. Pause in this moment before conception, practice stillness, and then use the below mantra for your sign to practice the art of refinement.
Aries :: Aries Rising “My habits feel healthy and mindful. I enjoy efficiency in my daily life.”
Taurus :: Taurus Rising “I am a conscious creator. I live a joyous and abundant existence.”
Gemini :: Gemini Rising “I create a warm and loving nest. I nurture myself and I feel supported.”
Cancer :: Cancer Rising “I am curious and playful.”
Leo :: Leo Rising “I feel abundant and easeful. I believe in my inherent worth.”
Virgo :: Virgo Rising “I fan the fire of my individuality. I am just as I need to be. All is well.”
Libra :: Libra Rising “I am always connected because all of life is connected.”
Scorpio :: Scorpio Rising “I encourage my hopes, dreams and aspirations. I envision a bright future for the collective.”
Sagittarius :: Sagittarius Rising “I align easily with my purpose. I am moving forward.”
Capricorn :: Capricorn Rising “I seek new philosophies.”
Aquarius :: Aquarius Rising “I trust that I am safe to feel my feelings.”
Pisces :: Pisces Rising “I am supported in relationship.”
Is second best enough when it comes to modern dating? Alexandra Roxo breaks her six-month self-love and celibacy regime to find out…
Over sushi last Friday with my friend Kristina, she suggested that perhaps it was time for me to dip a toe back in the dating game. I’d taken a six month break from sex and dating in the name of self-love and self growth, and, Jesus, that felt like long enough. But as Kristina recounted her latest dating exploits, I wanted to run for the hills—a.k.a. bury myself back in Doreen Virtue videos in my muumuu, with nothing but some Coconut Bliss in bed with me!
Okay, so maybe dating isn’t all that bad. I have a handful of friends that have found their “life partners” in the past year. Hopelessly in love. Soul mate status. One couple met on Tinder. One at Burning Man. Two other friends who just passed a decade met their loves out with friends, and just felt instantly “at home.” And these couples keep me full of hope.
But the rest of us perhaps fall into two categories:
-Those of us in a string of casual romances, engaging with people that seem exciting but just aren’t available or right.
-Or those of us sitting it out and waiting/minding our own business (a.k.a. dancing and having fun and meditating and sometimes feeling bored and starved of love).
So what’s best while searching for true love? Keeping on dating people who don’t seem “in it to win to it” (i.e. are always busy, “wanna keep it chill” and “low pressure with no commitment” blah blah) Or waiting it out? I feel like the easiest thing when it comes to modern day dating and sex is to accept what’s there: perhaps someone hot and fun who meets some of our needs, but not all. Especially since: “You can’t have it all.” Right?
Last week in our first Holy F*ck salon I heard a lot of this. Women accepting half loves. Or a morsel of connection. Or a lot of drunk sex with regretful mornings but fun nights. I’ve talked to friends too who are torn about this. We ponder “Should I go on casual dates? Spend that time on dating apps? Is it worth it if you know your heart’s not in it and neither is theirs?”
I’d been a serial monogamist for ten whole years, and last year upon being single and freshly in Los Angeles I found myself busy but not really satisfied. There was the hot writer who was in a failing open relationship (a.k.a. still in love with someone) but who would stare into my eyes with such passion when we had sex and orgasmed in tandem, and put cinnamon in my coffee.
Then there was the high school teacher who wanted to be called “Daddy” in bed and didn’t tell me he was engaged until date four. The friend of six years who professed his love and then confessed he had a new girlfriend. The Hollywood director who wined and dined me and wrote a part based on my life in his T.V. show, and then mentioned casually on date three he was in an open relationship of two years after ordering me an Uber town car home.
Not forgetting the famous musician who told me he wanted to meet my mom and refused to wear condoms, and who my friend saw on a dating app the next day. All. Unavailable. (And three out of five of these men meditate daily and do plant medicine or Buddhist retreats btw!)
There were women too. And at least they were more forthcoming and told me on date two they were just in it for fun casual vibes or what not. But overall it was a lot of kiiiiinda fun things that didn’t add up to one great thing.
So when I met someone earlier this year mid dating cleanse, who seemed amazing and into me, but who was also in an open relationship, I was like “Nope! I wanna be someone’s number 1!” I’ve had plentya number 2 status in the last year, and I honestly don’t know how I got demoted. So I also said: “Let’s be friends.”
But yes, I’m currently back to dating. And there I am, naked in a bed in a state of post orgasmic bliss, that cool Los Angeles breeze sweeping through the room, after a day having my feet massaged by the very same previously mentioned person. Because after six months of celibacy, I’ve somehow I’ve managed to I convince myself I can adjust my needs and be more progressive—a.k.a. share my lover with his two to three other lovers.
And then he stepped away to take a call. The primary partner of five years. Oh yeah…right. The magic spell lifted and I was reminded of the bigger picture. I was not Queen Bee.
This Rumi quote has echoed in my ears for over a decade: “A thousand half-loves must be forsaken to take one whole heart home.”
And I’ve decided this is true, for me. And that it applies to EVERYTHING. Not just love, but work. Friendships. Sometimes something is so close, but just not 100% right. And if you say yes to it anyway, you’re telling your self that you will always settle for less. Worse, in lowering your standards, you could also miss that the thing you really want because now you’re vibrating at a half mast frequency.
As my new friend Andi reminded me on the beach last week: “If it’s not a hell YES it’s a NO!”
When you’re hungry for something, sometimes it’s hard to resist whatever comes along that’s almost what you want. It’s like you know that it’s not quite going to satisfy you, but you eat it anyway—then wish you’d waited for what you really want. And yes, sometimes healthy compromise is key—and only YOU can decipher where the line in the sand gets drawn.
Since my recent experience of making a commitment to loving my SELF, I’ve also found myself inspired and in love with art, nature, friends, my work, all of it. As I was up late the other night, deep in celebration of this, I found this quote by Bjork, whom I’ve loved since I was 18:
“I never really understood the word ‘loneliness’. As far as I was concerned, I was in an orgy with the sky and the ocean, and with nature.”
I hope whether single or attached you can commit to finding your own inner orgy—and I believe that from this place it’s impossible to accept half loves, or half jobs, or half friends. You just smile and wink and mosey along if it doesn’t feel right. And by holding space for the most magnificent YOU, all the other stuff will just begin to filter in.
Alexandra offers one on one mentorship and coaching and her Holy F*ck group salon, which was just featured in Amuse/i-d Magazine. The next session of the Holy F*ck salon will begin September 6th for 6 weeks of chatting/deconstructing/and tuning in around love, sex and spirituality. Sign up here!
“Everything, even fashion, is a transference of energy.” Janelle Corpuz Hethcoat, the designer behind KE7H3R, talks fashion as self-love with Ruby Warrington…
It’s not often I come across a fashion brand that aligns as perfectly with our philosophy at The Numinous as KE7H3R by L.A. based Janelle Corpuz Hethcoat, which is chic, modern, and has a sustainable as well as a spiritual and social mission. So when Janelle approached us about helping support her launch for Fall ’16 it was a no-brainer. When I actually got to hear the full story behind the brand, it made me feel even more proud about helping Janelle realize her vision. Read on to get the full scoop on a label to love for ALL the right reasons…
RUBY WARRINGTON: What’s your background and what brought you to fashion? JANELLE CORPUZ HETHCOAT: I’m a Filipino American, female born and raised in Los Angeles. As for fashion, I went through about 12 years of catholic school where we had to wear uniforms and I think that really fed my need to be visually creative when it came to the way I dress as an adult. In my college years I was a biology major (my very strict Filipino parents wanted me to be a doctor), but I had a lot of older friends who worked as designers. After seeing what they did I was just dead set on being creative for a living. So after many semesters of deliberation I finally said, “Fuck it, I don’t care what my parents think!”—and I changed my major to fashion.
RW: Was there a defining moment for you deciding to launch your own line? JCH: Last year was crazy. I went through so many hard and character-defining things; a hellish breakup, I got sober, my dad passing away from cancer, losing my job, and finally, finding and marrying my soul mate. One defining moment of many, was going out into my backyard, after maybe weeks of not getting out of bed from depression. I sat there and the sun hit my face and I kind of said to myself, “Well… what now Janelle? After all this what are you gonna do?”
And I guess the voice of my higher self, or maybe my father, told me to just make something with my hands. To stay in the sun and make something. So I started making patterns, cutting fabric, and then sewing up styles in my backyard. I would put the clothes on and post them up on Instagram. People would respond in the comments or text me like “I want one of those! Can you make me one?” and that’s how KE7H3R was born.
RW: The name KE7H3R comes from your study of hermetic qabbalah – can you explain what it means? JCH: I’ll definitely try! In quabbalah, the Tree of Life is a symbolic description of how the universe came into existence. At the top of the Tree is something called the Kether, which is described as the source of all divine creation. An easier way to visualize this, is to place it on top of your own body—envision Kether as a ball of white light that sits right above our heads, like it’s that divine power that gives us our best ideas, leads us to do our highest good, and guides us to our purpose.
Kether is also associated with the Fool card in the tarot, which I associate with any project where you really have to follow your heart and take risks. I actually pulled the fool card in a reading with myself in my backyard. So when I named this line KE7H3R, I was just honoring the message. I replaced the 7 for T and 3 for E because 7 and 3 are my magic numbers.
RW: And how about the brand’s motto: “- IS +”? JCH: It means “Less is More”—a motto that means a lot to me. As a brand we stand for both minimalist design and the idea of a capsule wardrobe. We feel that it’s more important to have a few finely made pieces that you can wear forever, than a million poorly made pieces that you’ll throw away at the end of a season.
This is important for a lot of reasons. The first one is the damage that fast fashion is doing to our environment. The second is the harmful and inhumane work environments that this type of large scale fashion subjects people in overseas factories to. And finally, the harm that fast fashion or consumerist fashion is doing to our self esteems…especially for women.
Keeping up with “trends” is exhausting and unhealthy, and suggests that your external purchases are what lead to happiness. A minimalist approach meanwhile, means less time thinking about what you can or should buy, and more time thinking and being grateful for what you already have—including the people around you and the experiences you can be enjoying.
RW: How do you shop for fashion personally? JCH: For the last two years I have literally only bought my clothes second hand. Or I make them! I will buy the occasional something new, when it comes to stuff you really can’t buy second hand like swim suits, yoga wear, underwear etc. In this case, I will buy locally made stuff when I travel, or special hand crafted things on etsy.
RW: How can your fashion choices become a self-love practice? JCH: I think fashion is like food. You don’t want the mystery, pumped full of hormones, genetically modified thing inside your body, right? Think about the energy that is put behind creating what you are placing on your body, as your expression and reflection of yourself.
Everything, even fashion, is a transference of energy. When you choose products that are made ethically, you are showing loving concern for the world, which in turn is an act of self-love—because in saying that the rest of the humans on this planet deserve better you are also saying you deserve better.
There’s also what I call “status buying”—when you buy that thing that’s totally impractical and uberly expensive, just to “look” a certain way to everyone around you. I would do this a lot when I was younger, because I thought buying super expensive stuff made me look more successful, more professional, or more advanced in life. I shelled out $800 for 6-inch high YSL pumps that I couldn’t even walk in. And after I would feel like shit.
And so I think your fashion choices can become a self-love practice when you are able to honestly answer: Am I comfortable in this? Does wearing it make me feel like I can be myself?
Discover more and shop the collection at Ke7h3r.com
In her latest Holy F*ck column, Alexandra Roxo finds herself on the path to enlightenment with relationships coach Perri Gorman…
Lettin’ my hair go full Leo in the Croatian sun…
I met Perri Gorman when someone who I had met once messaged me on Facebook and was like: “I think you would like this teacher.” Perri was leading something called a “Relationship Detox,” and it DID seem appropriate, since I had decided to take a six month break from sex, dating, alcohol and drugs to focus on my healing. But then again, randoms send me FB messages all the time so I couldn’t be sure.
When I got Perri on the phone she was INTENSE. I’m an intense woman too, so when I come head to head with another of my kind I can adopt a “been there done that” attitude. Like, “Oh yeah, I’m not afraid to look at my shadows. I do it all the time.” And “Um duh. I’ve done the work.” But somehow she convinced me to sign up for her class. And it was the best gift ever. She called me out on places I had been hiding from my truth and still living from deep rooted childhood fears. (Ugh when does it end????!) At the end of the class I felt palpable changes. Like major shifts. Like, I had looked at all of my uglies in the face and hugged them and given them space to, well…turn into butterflies. Cheesy, yes, but true!
I sat down with Perri to try and understand this alchemical process a little deeper.
Alexandra Roxo: Your website says “TRANSFORMATION IS NOT OPTIONAL” in huge letters which kinda freaks me out but in a good way. Why did you choose that? Perri Gorman: It’s a bit of a story. When I was living in Hong Kong back in 2007 my life felt like Ground Hog’s day. I had actually hit a certain level of success, but I was like “Is this IT? Like, Is THIS my life?” I had a magnet on my refrigerator that was my savior, which said: “Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.” Oh, I must be in a cocoon I used to think. This part sucks. But just hang in there! After my life began to transform (longer story), my online moniker became and still is Bethebutterfly, and the butterfly is my inspirational creature.
Later, I went to a lecture by someone who was also fascinated by the life of the butterfly. She told a story of going to a butterfly farm and asking the keeper; “Does the caterpillar have a choice?” The answer was no. They either transform or they die. It’s not optional. And in this life, I think it is similar for us. Sounds grim but the stakes are really that high.
AR: I agree, and I also feel like the world needs transformation more than ever. Which is what I experienced on your relationship detox course. It’s hard for me to describe how you work though. It’s alchemy! Can you explain? PG: Well, I am a guide and I create experiences. I walk people down a path that I have been down to and experienced transformation myself. If I haven’t been able to personally alchemize it (whatever “it” might be) I don’t create the experience. Rather than teaching, I help my students facilitate this in themselves. This part is really important. Often if you just “tell” people something, then either the Ego rejects it and can’t hear it—or the Ego hears it, rejects it and turns on you in the process! So in order to stun the ego, you have to guide the spirit and let the “aha” moments come naturally.
Each person has a different speed at which they transform, too. Mine was REALLY slow—partly because I had so much pain inside, it wasn’t safe for it to come out all at once. It was a process. Think of it like detoxing from chemicals. Since your body stores toxins in your fat cells, it won’t actually LET you lose weight too fast if you are toxic because it would poison the body. Awakening is similar. There is a massive pain body that you need to work through in order to open fully.
With the Relationship Detox specifically, it is designed to reframe your entire experience with relationships and have you see the divine messages that meant for you in each experience. By going through the process you are able to let go of behavior that is no longer serving you and choose something new.
Perri Gorman: relationships guru
AR: In the moments you’re coaching me I always start “strong” and then you get in there and crack me open. How do you always manage to do that?! PG: I think a big part of my work is feeling “you” underneath the “strong,” which is usually a defense mechanism. It’s there to say “yeah I’m cool, nothing to see here, keep moving!” But if you listen closely there is another voice in there saying, “Hey! Don’t listen to her! I’m in here!”
My work is not for the faint of heart as you know, and I think it’s unique because I live it deeply myself. I am not perfect or enlightened but I have a deep deep practice of looking at my own stuff in every situation. I have unwound some really complex and tricky (and not so attractive) patterns in myself, so I can see the patterns more easily than others in many cases. So if you are like me and you have patterns that fog or trick other people, you come to me and I slice the head off that puppy and you feel so much better!
AR: So how is a relationship a crucible? That sounds scary as hell. PG: Relationship as a crucible means that you don’t do this fairy tale thing of “acquiring” a relationship and then passing out back to sleep. It means staying conscious within the relationship, and being willing for it to “burn” the patterns in you that no longer serve you. It means looking deeply at the other person as a mirror and using that mirror to look at where you can be a better version of yourself.
AR: Yes! I find the deepest work I do is often in partnership. It’s like boot camp. No hiding! Wanna give us an example of what this can look like? PG: Sure. Right now in my own relationship (I am getting married in October) I am working on a pattern where I try to fix him when he is down because his pain makes me really uncomfortable. So instead of letting him have his experience, I do things that would make him feel better. That sounds like the “nice” thing to do but it is not the “kind” thing to do. The thing to do is focus on myself, support him how he wants to be supported and not need him to be any way other than how he is.
As I started to look more deeply at it, I was like “Why do I do that? Where does that pattern originate?” It comes from childhood and being afraid that things going wrong were my fault and not wanting to get in trouble. But if I fixed it then that meant I did something good! It’s a rescuer pattern where I get personal validation that I am a good person by making him feel better.
But if we are practicing being conscious, then I have robbed him of his down which it is NECESSARY for him to get through himself to get to the freedom on the other side. By trying to help him feel better, (i.e. distract him from his feelings or helping him cover them with yummy things like a chocolate milkshake) I have helped him numb out and I have kept him from feeling what he needs to feel. So I notice it and then I actively practice doing something different so I can shift that piece of myself internally. It’s a practice.
AR: I love this, and I’ve been on both sides of this same coin. Allowing the uncomfortable is tough. People are always looking to “be ok.” But I wonder if some of us are avoiding the shadow. The truth. The messy side. Hiding under a mask of “zen.” PG: We all have masks and patterns, which is why relationships as reflection from others is so important. I surround myself with people who can penetrate my defenses so the truth can get through. Of course we avoid it. I don’t think that I ever said “Oh hey, I want to be awake and spiritual.” I was a fucking walking ball of chaos and destruction, and I had no choice. It was transform or die. I had to learn how to use all the energy. For others, they feel dead inside or their relationships don’t work or they are bored. In this sense, it’s like we all have different locks that require a different key.
***
So there you have it. Perri always pisses me off with our work, but then she breaks me down and then I cry and feel so happy and see the light! It’s an amazing process if you surrender to it.
And next up from Perri: self-love. Something I think gets misunderstood A LOT. Self-love doesn’t just mean treating yourself to a mani pedi. It means cutting off toxic relationships. Releasing self-judgment. Body shame. Sexual shame. Owning your voice. Standing up for your needs. Creating healthy boundaries. Self-love is deep. I’m still learning it more and more everyday.
Perri’s new experience, PRESENCE, is all about coming home to yourself through the path authentic self-love. Not in the “everything needs to be good and nice” kind of way, more like “I will sit here with you through it all—good or bad”—something she admits has been one of the most challenging practices for her, and so a major focus of her own healing journey.
Registration for PRESENCE opens August 1 for a limited time. To sign-up, and to learn more about Perri Gorman and her work visit: Theschoolofalchemy.com
