MATERIAL GIRL MYSTICAL WORLD: ANA DEE OF THE MOON CULT

Ana Dee is the fierce cult leader at controversial alien outfitters The Moon Cult. She talks girl power, hand tattoos, and stylish self-defense with Ruby Warrington…

Ana Dee, a.k.a. Cult Leader interview on The Numinous
Ana Dee, a.k.a. Cult Leader

The Numinous: Why should every girl embrace her inner alien?
Ana Dee: I struggled with searching for a label that fit me in the past, and came to realize I couldn’t pinpoint just one. So to me, being an “alien” means you don’t fit any mold, and our following is a sisterhood that relates to this mentality. At The Moon Cult we take pride in being ourselves and offering clothing to girls who are comfortable in their own alien skin. For some, accepting your differences is a life-long journey—but when you choose to love and accept yourself, it’s much easier to love and accept others.

TN: What’s your definition of girl power?
AD: Girl power to me is the feeling that you can take on this world and everyone in it, while exuding hella confidence. This means no doubts, no fears, and ambitious thinking. The girl power mindset at The Moon Cult means that we won’t take shit from anyone and we won’t take no for an answer. Being young and being a woman is hard enough, but with a ‘lil girl power, you can accomplish anything.

TN: Why do you sell self-defense items? Isn’t that promoting violence?
AD: Our customer wants killer protection to match their killer style, and The Moon Cult offers a huge selection for the tough girls. You can never be too careful and we cherish the opportunity to help prevent any harm on anyone. We make sure that all of our posts and products do not promote violence, and explain in every listing that the weapon’s purpose is to protect, or for decoration. When making a weapons purchase with us are also agreeing to your state laws and our privacy terms.

Ana Dee's hand tattoo on The Numinous
Ana’s hand tattoo

TN: What’s been the most empowering experience of your life—why?
AD: Getting my hand tattooed was an empowering experience for many reasons. One, I did it for me and no one else. Two, it was to prove to myself that I would never conform to a government job, and would self-manifest my own future.

Knowing well that the tattoo would prevent future employment at many places, it represented that I was successfully running my own business and didn’t have to think about a “plan b” anymore. When you work for yourself, you can wear what you want, dye your hair, have long nails, and most importantly, BE YOURSELF.

TN: What makes you cult leader material?!
AD: I feel that so many girls can relate to my lifestyle, and my experiences, and I try to be as open as possible with the struggle and hardship I’ve faced to show girls that it’s possible to overcome anything and create their own destiny. Particularly due to the vicious and endless cycle of social media judgment I’ve experienced.

I also often feel like the “mom” to most of my friends, even being the youngest of the bunch! I simply want to take care of everyone around me and make others happy. I definitely put others’ happiness before my own, and feel this is part of my purpose on this planet.

We got a look into the mystical world of this badass material girl!

:: MATERIAL GIRL ::

My label: Wildfox

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Dress, $161, Wildfox

My shoes: Jeffrey Campbell

bernice Loafers, $135, Jeffrey Campbell
Loafers, $135, Jeffrey Campbell

My fragrance: YSL Black Opium

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YSL Black Opium, $90-$115

My jewels: Swarovski

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Cuff, $199, Swarovski

My pampering: A weekly massage

My home: Condo

My food: GMO-free is the way to be!

:: MYSTICAL WORLD ::

My awakening: Yoga, tea, emails

My sign: Scorpio, can’t you tell?

My mantra: “Expect nothing, appreciate everything.”

My healer: Mother Nature

My reading: Art of Seduction: An Indispensible Primer on the Ultimate Form of Power

My transformation: Building a thick skin

My mission: To spread love and inspire others

Shop the collection at TheMoonCult.com

Tie-dye halter onesie, $35, TheMoonCult.com on The Numinous
Tie-dye halter onesie, $35, TheMoonCult.com

CURIOUS COMMUNICATOR: WORK WITH A GEMINI MOON SIGN

Tips and practices to help understand and work with your Gemini Moon sign from Ash Bonelli. Artwork: Prince Lauder via Behance.net

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The Moon represents what we need in life to feel safe, secure, and how we need to be nurtured, and understanding your Moon’s requirements can help you connect deeper to your more private self. When you have a bad day or are just feeling “off” you want to tap into your Moon. She is the cosmic mother and learning more about the sign where she sits in your birth chart, can reveal so much about your internal landscape.

Work out your Moon sign, when you do you chart for free here.

The Gemini Moon sign is forever curious. She wants to learn about anything and everything. This Moon loves to engage and communicate, since Gemini is a mutable air sign that needs mental stimulation and variety. When things become stagnant the restless demons set in—and so keeping things moving in life is key.

Depending on the rest of your chart, these behaviors/tendencies may express in a need to always have light and breezy conversations. You enjoy gathering data, processing it and then moving on to the next interesting person, subject or experience. This flitting about keeps things upbeat and interesting yet can have a downside.

The Gemini Moon sign is learning to also go deep. It’s about finding some balance between superficial experiences and really getting to know yourself and others on a more intimate level. Because of this Moon’s voracious appetite for new information, you can come across fickle or insincere if this expression is out of balance.

This analytical moon usually symbolizes a gifted speaker, writer or teacher. Since you are always gathering information you put it to good use by sharing it with others, and this exchange of thoughts, ideas and insights can be quite soothing for you. The give and take is the thrill that propels you forward to find more.

This is a delightful quality that makes you fun to chat with, as well as being able to turn a negative emotional situation into a happier one. The Gemini Moon sign is clever and witty, so having an innate emotional tie to these abilities can bring true fulfillment through expression.

Just make sure to keep the input and output in check or you will never be able to get to your deeper self. There can be an avoidance of darker undercurrents if you don’t allow yourself time to really feel your feelings, which may mean missing out on the beauty of vulnerability.

Below are some suggestions to bring some balance back to your energetic moon as well as ways to emphasize it. These are meant to empower and bolster your emotional wellbeing to be at your best!

:: FOCUS ::
Zero in on a project that you have to stay committed to—anything that will require you to stick to it long enough to actually become proficient at it. Since Gemini is placed in the linguistic camp you could learn a new language. Mercury being Gemini’s ruler is associated with dexterity so you could learn to play an instrument. The other benefit of this for you emotionally, is that once you’ve mastered this new interest you then get to share it, creates a beautiful cyclical effect for your heart, and your Gemini Moon sign.

:: BREATHWORK ::
Learning to control your responses in more hectic situations could be very healing—and one way is with the simple art of breathing. Try practicing the 2:1 ratio breath, in which increasing the length of your exhalation helps to relax your parasympathetic nervous system. Start by breathing through the nose in your natural way without counting. Then after a few rounds begin to breath in for a count of two, and exhaling for four. Work your way up to deeper breaths from there, and try doing 10 rounds the next time you begin feeling the frazzled.

:: MINDFULNESS ::
In the simplest terms, this simply means being aware and in the present moment without judgement—actually quite hard, since the Gemini Moon sign is often stuck between wondering what the future holds and dwelling on the past. Finding a meditation practice that works for you is key, and if sitting still is just too much for you try doing a walking meditation, which will burn up any restlessness through mindful movement. You could also try Qi Gong—which covers practices from the gentle Tai Chi to the more fierce option, Kung Fu. Potentially a healing double whammy, helping you to focus and be more in the moment while still satisfying the need to learn and grow.

TEMPLE OF VENUS: A GUIDE TO WATER MAGIC

In her latest Temple of Venus column, Elyssa Jakim embraces her inner mermaid with a guide to water magic…

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Water is perhaps my number one healer and teacher, since I have experienced so much magic with this element. Many moons ago, in deep meditation, I heard clearly: “You are a water witch.” That was my title.

Do you feel at home in water? Do you ever think you must have been a mermaid? Are you thirsty to step into your water witchiness? Are you a water witch too?

Last fall, I journeyed to the Pacific Northwest and found myself in the company of some serious water stewards—more water witches! At the Pacific Women’s Herbal Conference, Lorraine Bayes held a water ceremony and I felt as though I were home. Then in Oregon, I found the magical Camilla Blossom Bishop through word of mouth. When we met, she told me she was teaching a course about how to be a water healer. I was being led back to water again.

With Camilla, I learned how to conduct a water ceremony, and how to fully honor this element. The capstone of this experience was a ritual in which I floated in a chemical free salt pool that held water from around the world. Once again, I felt that I was home. I emerged radiant and resplendent. And now it’s your turn.

Here’s my guide to water magic, whatever element you call your own.

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:: DRINK LOVE WATER ::

Here’s a message for you, channeled from Venus herself (remember she was born of the water):

Charge your water with love! In 1999, Dr. Masaru Emoto famously taught the world that water molecules hold the vibration of the thought one applies them. If you hold water with the intention of love, water crystals make a beautiful shape. If you hold it with fear or anger, they make jaggedy, almost viscerally painful shapes.

The sum of this is: we drink what we think! So, how can you love up your water?

Here’s what Camilla taught me: put the water in a beautiful vessel. Breathe into your heart and feel its loving sweetness. Imagine the love from your heart moving into the pitcher or cup. Imagine that this water is being fully purified into its highest, most optimal, healthy state. Now, get creative! Sing to your water, listen to beautiful music, add flower essences and crystals. Then drink up the nectar of life. Take joyful sips. This is very subtle, but your water will taste better and it will fill your body, soul, and mind with love. Water is thought to be the first medicine, so let yours heal you.

:: BATHE IT IN ::

When I was a little girl, I used to dunk my head in the bath water, sing, and swish my hair to and fro, believing I was a mermaid. Past life recall perhaps?

Bathing is an ancient practice for health, rejuvenation and beauty. The tranquility and solitude of the bath make it a perfect way to practice self-love and self-care. The bath lets us reset and get to know ourselves very deeply. I like to think of water as feeling—and as such, bathing allows us to pay homage to our emotional state. The water holds us like the womb. It also helps us to know our sensual and sensitive sides.

As far as practical magic goes, bathing is one of the most effective aura cleansers there is. The water we bathe in holds our emotions, thoughts, and physical tension, which are able to release down the drain. If you think you’ve been picking up a lot of other people’s stuff, or just want to clear and reset, put sea salt, Epsom salt, and/or baking soda into your bath and let yourself be cleansed.

You can make your bath time even more powerful by creating a theme for your bath. One example is Mermaid Paradise: Put hibiscus and lily flowers in your bath with sea stones, shells, blue and green candles, and your favorite essential oil. Or how about a Yummy Goddess Heart Bath? Rose petals, rose water, rose quartz, Himalayan sea salts, soft tea-light candles and music.

When you’re ready to drain your bath, see anything and everything that’s not serving you wash away.

:: GET BLESSED ::

One way to practice being a water witch, a water alchemist, and a true mermaid, is by helping to heal the waters of the Earth. The gorgeous thing here is that when you bless water you are being blessed in return. It’s a beautifully symbiotic relationship.

How can you experience this? Visit a body of water, and put your intention of love and healing into the water source. This means you can sing to the water. You can tell it your hopes and dreams. You can put loving words into it like “peace, beauty, love, tranquility, and gratitude.” You can make a wish into the water. You can tell your water source how beautiful she looks. You can bring her flowers or another such gift. It sounds like what we do with the drinking water, right? It’s all one, my darling.

Another way to bless water is to find a water deity you connect to—I love Yemaya, Venus (duh!), and mermaids. Call upon this divine being and ask to connect with her. Breathe all your love into the water with the help of your divine team.

Whatever your method, after you send your love into the water, stand back as something miraculous happens. The water will send love back to you. This might feel like a wave of love or positive energy. Or it might feel like nothing at all. But it will happen. Your subtlest of energies will sense it. And because “water is feeling,” don’t be surprised if you come over quite emotional.

***

In embracing water magic, I salute you on your journey back to your mermaid self. May these suggestions open the door to your own discovery of who you really are. Report back with your tales!

Elyssa will be holding a water ceremony at our Numinous “Re-write Your Love Story” retreat at Maha Rose North. Book with a friend before June 17 and you’ll each qualify for $50 of— email [email protected] to enquire about this early bird discount.

For more information on Elyssa’s offerings (including custom baths!), visit elyssajakim.com.

Need more Venus inspiration? Check out Elyssa’s last Temple of Venus column on body image.

10 WAYS TO BE A UNICORN

Bring forth the most authentic you and basically BE a Unicorn, says George Lizos

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“They said I could be anything, so I became a unicorn!”

What if I told you this popular Unicorn quote actually has a literal meaning, and your fascination with Unicorns is your subconscious way of expressing that?

The Unicorn represents happiness, fulfillment, and abundance—and paradoxically, the Unicorn’s strength, purity, and poise are also qualities we possess already, and through which our talents, abilities, and personality are expressed.

Elsewhere in our world, the Unicorn is said to refer to something that’s different and unique. Yet, different and unique are not the same as authentic. And it is authenticity that leads to happiness, abundance and fulfillment, not uniqueness. Uniqueness needs to be manufactured. Authenticity comes naturally.

Lightworkers’ fascination with Unicorns shows that we’re finally in the process of getting this! We’re in the process of reclaiming our Unicorn souls. To complete this, we need to replace our desire to be unique, with a desire to be authentically US. Which in turn holds the key to following and fulfilling our life purpose.

Here are 10 simple ways to reclaim the authentic, awakened, balanced unicorn you really are:

  1. Wear your imaginary alicorn: The alicorn, or Unicorn’s horn, symbolizes awakened intuition. By visualizing yourself wearing an imaginary alicorn, you work with the Unicorn energy to clear and empower your third-eye chakra. This is the portal through which spirit flows, to guide you in taking a balanced approach.
  2. Breathe into your heart: Your heart is where your Unicorn soul resides. Found between your masculine lower-body and feminine upper-body chakras, your heart chakra acts like a control centre, monitoring the information emitted by your other chakras and feeding it to your Unicorn soul, to help it provide accurate guidance. Consciously breathing into your heart clears blockages here, and helps facilitate this process.
  3. Allow yourself to be vulnerable: Vulnerability breaks down walls of pretense, and allows your authentic self to surface. Have weekly vulnerability dates where you consciously encourage yourself to get real with what’s going on in your life, express suppressed emotions, and allow yourself to feel them fully.
  4. Shower yourself in rainbow light: Rainbow light contains all the colors of your seven chakras, thus showering yourself in rainbow light is a quick and easy way to clear both your masculine and feminine chakras, to find balance. Do this while literally in the shower, and use the flow of water symbolically to empower your visualization.
  5. Schedule blank space: Most people are imbalanced towards their masculine side. We’re all about going for it, working it, making it happen, and have forgotten how to chill out, take it easy, and trust the Universe to take care of things. To rebuild your feminine energies, consciously schedule time in your day, week, month, and year, to mindfully plan yin activities (i.e. “do” less and “be” more) to cultivate more balance.
  6. Take uneasy action: If you’re imbalanced towards your feminine side and tend to procrastinate a lot, schedule time to take uneasy action towards your life purpose. This is action that is attainable but feels uncomfortable, meaning you must push yourself to grow.
  7. Dance: Don’t let the simplicity of this one mask its effectiveness in reclaiming your Unicorn soul! Your body is a physical extension of your Unicorn soul, and by shifting your attention out of your mind and into your body through dance, you encourage the flow of your soul’s energy, letting it move you into a balanced state.
  8. Drink alicorn water: In the Middle Ages, the Unicorn’s horn was believed to help neutralize poisons and purify water to create antidotes to most ailments. While wearing your imaginary alicorn, use it to channel sparkling white light into a glass of natural mineral water. Drinking this alicorn-infused water will infuse your body with Unicorn energy, allowing your balanced Unicorn soul to rise naturally.
  9. Do authenticity checks: To check if you’re faking uniqueness or being authentic on a particular decision, check in with your heart. Visualize yourself following through with a decision while having your hand on your heart. If your heart expands in agreement, you’re being authentic. If it contracts in disapproval, you’re faking uniqueness and need to take a more authentic approach.
  10. Create a unicorn altar: Honour your newfound perspective of Unicorns by instilling it in your everyday space. Having a physical reminder of your Unicorn soul in your house is a powerful way to train your subconscious to living the Unicorn way. Use Unicorn statues, flower essences, and candles to add texture in your altar, and celebrate finally capturing your Unicorn self!

george lizos be a unicorn on the numinousGeorge Lizos is a Spiritual Life Coach, the author of Be The Guru and the creator of Unicorn Bootcamp: Find Balance, Discover Your Gifts, and Fulfil Your Life Purpose. George empowers people to stop idolising spiritual teachers and become their own gurus. To learn more visit www.georgelizos.com 

THE NUMEROLOGY OF 6/6

Turn your attention towards your relationships and utilize the numerology of 6/6, says Felicia Bender

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The numerology of 6/6 offers a dynamic gateway of energy centered on love and relationships.

In Numerology, the number 6 is the nurturer. Its energy is all about unconditional love, service, responsibility, justice, the home, and beauty.

On the flipside, the challenges this vibe brings can be unhealthy perfectionism, self-righteousness, and unyielding control.

So how do we maximize this portal of dynamic energy at our fingertips on 6/6?

It’s a day to consider our point of view about love. Does our version of love feel like Vance Joy’s in This Mess Is Mine—“When you think of love do you think of pain?” Or are you coming from a more of an “all you need is love” perspective?

This is to say: How does love show up for you, and how do you show up for love? 

Through the numerology of 6/6 we can see ourselves more clearly in terms of what our responsibility is—and has been—in our relationships. It’s a moment where we can choose to relinquish all the “shoulds” that swim around in our heads: “I should be married by now,” or “He shouldn’t do it that way,” or “I should have known better.”

Any should that comes up in relation to love—it’s a day to rethink it. To reimagine  it. And to change it, recalibrate it, and revise it. Also, to take off any distorting “rose colored” glasses and give ourselves—and others—a break.

All the number 6 wants is to love and be loved in return. Yet what stands in the way of this simple yet driving need? Unyielding judgment stands in the way. Unrealistic idealism stands in the way. The inability to forgive stands in the way.

The numerology of 6/6 brings a great day to energetically and actively intend to worry a bit less. Its energy bolsters your efforts to “let go and let love” in the truest, most unconditional sense.  We might be moved to actively write a note of forgiveness to our ex (and to ourselves in the process), burn it, and let it go.

Or w might decide that we will never again bring up that time that s/he did that horrendous, unforgiveable thing to our intimate partner whenever we get into a fight. We may decide to make a pact to tend to ourselves as diligently as we attend to others.

The numerology of 6/6 can act like a platform for self-realization when we allow ourselves to open the heart and witness our hurts spill out onto the floor—almost like the materials you might use to create a beautiful, textured, and colorful collage.  Allow the energy of the day to support you in taking responsibility for yourself, your actions, and your responses within all relationships.

SELF-ENQUIRY BY SIGN FOR THE GEMINI NEW MOON

A reading for the Gemini New Moon – PLUS the essential questions for each sign to journal with, to make the most of the cosmic energy…By Hannah Ariel

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“Wisdom lies neither in fixity nor in change, but in the dialectic between the two.”
–Octavio Paz

Gemini is easily misunderstood. We use words like “tricky” and “flighty” and “fickle” to explain this sign’s ability to weave in and out of worlds of ideas, concepts, and even illusions. But replace these words with ARTFUL, playful, adjustable, and you get a picture of the kind of magical thinking, the sheer ingenuous creativity that is Gemini.

With the moon in Gemini, we are naturally oriented to move between intellectual realities—and yet for all our mental processing, the conscious expression of this astrological placement would be to arrive at something that resembles a decision; a perspective; a point of reference.

This year’s Gemini New Moon (June 5th at 15 degrees) is an opportunity to get CLEAR about what to do next, particularly in regard to our personal CREATIVITY. Our relationship to our creativity and our relationships to the people who either bring the juiciness out or just suck the fun out of it will also be highlighted.

Prior to the Moon and the Sun joining forces, Venus will have been moving alongside the Sun in Gemini all week to clarify a connection between what we think we want, what kinds of interaction our personality craves, and if we are living this truth.

Venus in Gemini isn’t as sentimental as it is logical. Information is valued. Ideas are valued. The sensible application of the two is valued. At this time, it will seem like simple logic to do away with what no longer tickles your fancy. Seriously. If you’re not being stimulated, excited, and delighted, then it’s a time to think about why, and which part of your personality is being ignored.

This Gemini New Moon is also precipitated by a GRAND MUTABLE CROSS. What the heck is that? Why does it matter? What will it mean?! Well, to get technical about it, this cross is a squaring of energy—a confrontation so to speak—of four planets in all four mutable signs: Sun/Venus/Moon in Gemini in opposition to Saturn in Sagittarius meets Jupiter in Virgo in opposition to Neptune in Pisces. PHEW!

This configuration is not meant to confuse but to bring you closer to what is, what isn’t and what will continue to be true for you. A Grand Cross asks us to deal with conflicting realities head on to create one NEW one. Unsettling? Sure. Scary? No. Just be prepared to make BIG decisions this summer…decisions that will carry you into a whole new creative cycle.

In beginning this self-enquiry, included below are some questions to aid you in a journaling ritual this Gemini New Moon. Engage. Keep it real with yourself. And keep in mind, with Neptune about to go retrograde June 13, your answers may not appear logical to anyone but you—so simply follow your OWN intuition.

This your opportunity to clear the decks, to create as much clarity as possible, and make room for some brilliant breakthroughs.

*These are suggestions for your SUN SIGN. However, if you know which house in your chart the New Moon will take place in, take this into consideration too.

**As much as Gemini rules writing and self-reflective journaling it also rules conversation. Cerebral discussions, heart-to-hearts, and astrological and/or tarot consultations of all kinds are favored right now. The key is to make this energy work FOR you, so don’t get dragged around by the universe. Get in the middle of it. Think about it. DO something about it.

:: ARIES :: 
Where am I channeling my mental energy? Where am I getting lost in mindless chatter? How can I speak more of my truth? What mental myths need to be dismantled? How can I see the bigger picture, and why it is so important for me to trust my intuition right now?

:: TAURUS :: 
How am I spending my time? How can I re-organize my priorities to align with my values? To what extent am I aware of my financial reality, and do I recognize where I need to depend more on my own resourcefulness?

:: GEMINI :: 
Am I always tapping into ways of doing my own unique thing? Where am I shutting down in fear of being heard or seen? Who am I placing too much value in? With Sun/Moon/Venus in Gemini, it’s time to learn and love all of YOU.

:: CANCER :: 
What needs to be retrieved from my imagination? Where is my lack of faith? When did I stop believing in the impossible? Where am I living in a state of mistrust?

:: LEO :: 
Who truly inspires me? How can I be an inspiration to my friends? Where can I take the lead more, and when do I find myself blindly following along with others?

:: VIRGO :: 
Who am I finally and fully expanding into becoming? Do I see the beauty in the big changes and encounters that life has gifted me with? What am I taking for granted? Is it time to release my grip on something or someone?

:: LIBRA :: 
Where are the holes in my own belief system? How can I patch them up? What new lessons does my life want me to incorporate? Where do I stand on forgiveness?

:: SCORPIO :: 
When was the last time I let myself fall in love? Do I continue to value what the experience of love honestly offers me? When was the last time I gave myself permission to feel grounded and whole?

:: SAGITTARIUS :: 
Am I living up to my word? What have I become responsible for? Where can I lighten up my load? With Saturn in Sagittarius you may be taking on more than you need to. Consider: what structures serve me and which can I release?

:: CAPRICORN :: 
In what ways do I consider myself to be spiritual? Do I know how to take a time-out and spend time alone with myself? How does it feel to be in my body these days? Am I truly thriving and enjoying my day-to-day?

:: AQUARIUS :: 
What can I use to express myself creatively? How can I update my personal toolbox? Do I trust myself enough to truly honor and express my unique gifts? Who invigorates the deepest parts of me? Where am I being drained?

:: PISCES :: 
How can I feel more securely connected to my roots? Am I allowing myself to fully let go of memories and people who haunt me? What takes up space in my heart—and what can I let go? How am I sacrificing myself to please others?

To book a reading with Hannah Ariel contact: [email protected]

MY MYSTICAL LIFE: OBONJAN DREAMING, AND A SOLSTICE PICNIC

Getting excited for a summer of healthy hedonism…

 

:: MONDAY ::
I’ve been pretty upfront on here about my journey re-framing my relationship with alcohol—a.k.a. to treat it (and use it) like the powerful psychoactive substance it is, rather than a knee-jerk way to feel “good” quick. And crystals have played a major role in this—namely amethyst, the “sobriety stone.” I’ve been carrying a piece on a key-chain for the past year or so, a pivotal time on my path to semi-sobriety. A key-chain which actually broke the week I launched Club SÖDA NYC our meet-up group for the sober curious—signaling that its work with me was done!

And you know, I’ve felt myself slip back a few steps in the months since…so I bought a new one last week ahead of the Memorial Day weekend (PRIME day-drinking danger zone). And yes I had a couple of beers. But literally two, thus achieving the ever-elusive but perfect “2-drink high”—opening the doors of perception just enough to land some killer insights about my life and my path going forward, but closing them tidily up again before drunkenness (and hangover / self-doubt territory) set in. Yay AMETHYST!

Amethyst clusters from $18, The Hoodwitch
Amethyst clusters from $18, The Hoodwitch

:: TUESDAY ::
Which also got me in the mood to plan our next informal Club SÖDA NYC event—a sober solstice picnic in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, June 19. Invite below—come!

 

:: WEDNESDAY ::
Last week amazing Alexandra Derby posted on the subject of “Cash and Consciousness” in her new weekly vlog A Beautiful Answer—after watching a new doc called The Beginning of Life at the UN (yup, she got invited to a screening at the United-freaking-Nations, which is how important important people think the message of the film is). You can watch Alexandra’s take here, but the overall theme is: “money” = how grown ups frame “nurture” (since money provides for all our needs) = lack of nurture in childhood = poverty consciousness in grown ups = the poverty we see in the world (since our perception shapes reality). Are you with me?! And so the call to action is: time to invest (love / support / and or money, as needed) into the nurturing of the next generation, globally. To tackle poverty consciousness—and therefore a society that creates the poverty we see—at source. The Beginning of Life came out today.

:: THURSDAY ::
Getting super excited for…Obonjan! Booked my flights today for this summer-long private island festival in Croatia (yes you read that right), where I’ll be giving a talk on healthy hedonism July 29. Full report PLUS details of a Numinous discount coming on next week’s newsletter. Here’s the link to sign up!

:: FRIDAY ::
In Berlin for some hang-time with my fam

RELEASE AND RENEW: A DARK MOON RITUAL

Transform the unhealed and unloved aspects of yourself this Dark Moon, says Shaheen Miro

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Before the birth of each New Moon, the sky grows rich and velvety—it is the night of the Dark Moon. We enter the infinite darkness of the Crone Goddess. She is the keeper of the mysteries, the underworld, the expansive void that tingles our psychic receptors.

The Dark Moon is the gatekeeper between the waking world, and the rich, fertile land of inner transformation. She holds the key to the soul’s mysteries. Penetrating the surface of superficial life, the Dark Moon awakens our zest for life, our sensual nature, and our most inspired magic.

When we tread into the Land of Darkness, we delve deeper into our own soul. Riding on the dark wings of the Owl we sweep further into the enigma of our Shadow… to where our unloved, unhealed, and unacknowledged parts silently wait. But answering the call of the shadow awakens our tenacity and power. We show up bigger and brighter in the world, as we learn to express our most mystical self.

So lay down your hurts at the altar of the Dark Moon. Spin your woes into strands of gold. For healing only comes when you go into the places that hurt.

:: A Dark Moon Ritual for Purging Pain and Restoring Vitality ::

You Will Need:

Your Statement of Release. This can be a written statement, or an intention you carry in your head.

A black candle.

A black scarf.

Some Dragon’s Blood, or other rich, earthy incense.

Walnut flower essence. (Black walnut is a powerful tree for severing ties with the past, as well as with things that hurt you, especially unhealthy relationships—walnut Flower Essence has a similar releasing power)

The Ritual:

Set aside the night of the Dark Moon (the night before the New Moon) to perform your ritual. This ritual will result in a bath, and if you can perform the entire ceremony in your bathroom that’s perfect. If not, find a space where you will be uninterrupted and then carry on into the bathroom.

Darken the ritual space (or simply turn off all lights). Lighting the black candle, make a declaration of intent. Such as:

“I enter the Dark Moon Kingdom with reverence and respect. With perfect love and trust. With bravery and complete surrender. I visit the garden of lost soul fragments, seeking bones discarded by choice or force throughout my life. I honor these parts, I sing to them, I quicken them back into life. Enfold me in the arms of rebirth and regeneration. So Shall it be.”

Holding the candle, walk in a widdershins (counterclockwise) circle to stir banishing and releasing magic. Begin where you like, but the West is the power spot for soul work and metamorphosis. Walking the circle summon protective energies. Let the Dark Moon energy settle around you, creating a zone for inner work. Include your bathtub in the circle if you can.

Seat yourself in the circle’s center. Begin breathing deeply, in and out. Slip into a light, relaxing trance.

Now light the incense, letting the snake of smoke waft through the circle filling the atmosphere with sacred protective energies. As you continue to breath, go deeper into your center. Repeat the above invocation.

Now allow yourself to gently crack open, traveling down the path to your pain and heartache. Feel how your body has become dense with the garbage you have accumulated, staying mindful of the intention you came to release. When you are filled to the top with heavy, sticky feelings, begin to release them into the dark void.

Repeat the Statement of Release as they slip out—reading something you have written or simply speaking from your heart. Become vulnerable to the receptive energy of the Dark Moon. Give her your pain and trauma. You are ready to purge, move forward and heal.

Be here as long as you like. Let your body respond as it needs. Shake, cry, curl into a ball, slip into silence. Whatever spirit moves you to do is perfect. The Dark Moon will move you through this experience of release.

The Black Walnut Bath: 

Fill your bath tub with warm water. If your bath is in another room, gather your accouterments, and see your circle move with you into the bathroom. You can recast the circle if you like.

If you don’t have a full tub, fill a bowl big enough to submerge both your feet.

Pour a few drops of Walnut Flower Essence into the water. Visualize or feel the water being infused with the dark, generative powers of the Moon. See it become an inky black sky. The great void of transmogrification, where there is nothing to fear.

Now wrap your eyes with the black scarf to disrupt your sense of sight. Then slip into the bath. Relax into the embrace of the dark. You are in the alchemical waters of healing. The vessel of rebirth, the womb of the Dark Moon.

Do you feel any resistance? Is there still lingering pain in your body and spirit? Is your heart heavy? Are your wounds still bleeding?

Allow the remaining feelings to fill you up until there is a sense of surrender. Now release them into water. Speak your Statement of Release again to the Goddess, asking the Dark Moon to take it all away…to return it to the void. Speak out loud, and speak from your heart.

Fully release and float in these healing waters as long as you need. When you are ready, let the water drain. Unveil your eyes. Thank the Goddess for her counsel. Release the circle clockwise. Then blow the candle out, or allow it to burn down.

The Healing Aftermath:

Major blocks of energy and pain have been purged. You have asked for the guidance and protection of the Dark Moon. Her energy and influence will curl through your spirit and move through your life in synchronistic ways. Honor her process, and yourself by being compassionate. Rest, eat something rejuvenating. Sleep as long as you like.

You may feel spacey for a few days as your soul parts knit back together. You have undergone a type of psychic surgery. Go as deep into this process as you like. You have just scratched the surface. Meet the Dark Moon each month with a new pain to lay to rest. Healing is always an expansive, ongoing process.

Seeking spiritual guidance or doing divination with a favorite intuitive, friend or oracle is also welcomed during this process. They may help you see how the pieces are coming together. How life is heading in a new direction. And never forget to ask for the guidance and protection of your Spirit Circle: Your Guides, Angels, and Ancestors.

A NUMINOUS RETREAT: RE-WRITE YOUR LOVE STORY

Love-centered astrology, meditation into the heart space, water ceremony, creative writing, crafting, sharing, and play…it’s our first Numinous retreat! And an invitation to Re-write Your Love Story.

numinous retreat re-write your love story

Friday, July 15th- Sunday, July 17th

The Numinous Presents :: Re-Write Your Love Story

A Holy F*ck + The Temple of Venus Women’s Retreat

Location: Maha Rose North – Catskills, Upstate NY

Love, dating, sex, partnership: where do you stand on these Venus-rules issues? What are the stories you have inherited and internalized about love, and how would you like to re-write them?

Join Numinous founder Ruby Warrington, with contributors Alexandra Roxo and Elyssa Jakim, for a weekend of discovery and creativity tailored toward telling your True Love Story. During this magical weekend, we will delve into our femininity and sensuality. We will release old wounds that may be blocking us from getting the love we want, to manifest the love we do want. We will balance our career driven warrior women with the open-hearted goddesses we are.

Think: love-centered astrology, meditation into the heart space, water ceremony, creative writing, crafting, sharing, and play.

Read on for the actual schedule…

Healing space at Maha Rose North on The Numinous
Healing space at Maha Rose North

:: FRIDAY ::
3:30pm – 5:30pm: Arrivals.

6:00pm – 7:00pm: A Welcoming Feast and meet & greet.

7:30pm – 9:45pm: Workshop 1 HELLO HEART. Let’s get real about where we’re at with sex and love, setting our intentions as individuals and as a group. An open discussion and sharing circle with live coaching, led by your guides for the weekend.

:: SATURDAY ::
7:30am – 8:00am: Morning Angel Meditation led by Alexandra.

8:30am – 9:30am: Breakfast.

10:00am – 12:00pm: Workshop 2 RE-WRITING OUR LOVE STORY led by Ruby. What are the fairy stories we tell ourselves about love? What are the myths about romance and dating that we’ve absorbed, both individually and as a collective? And what fantasies have we bought into about what it means to be a sexual woman? In this workshop we will delve into our birth charts, using storytelling and journaling exercises to excavate these often limiting beliefs, examine how they may have shaped our love story to date, and re-write the script of a more authentic, fulfilling, and heart-centered future love story.

12:30 pm – 2:30 pm: Lunch & personal Time. Journal. Lay in the grass. Sing in the woods. Cry. Be.

3:00 pm – 5:00 pm: Workshop 3 DO IT LIKE A DOLPHIN led by Elyssa. Lemurian water ceremony with mermaids and water fairies in the nearby lake. BYOB. (Bring Your Own Bikini)

River in the Catskills at Maha Rose North on The Numinous
BYOB (bring your own bikini) for the water ceremony

6:30 pm – 8:30pm: RITUAL DINNER aka PRIESTESS FEAST There was something to the way the Greeks and Romans did it. Though we won’t be communally purging this time, we will be lighting candles, wearing beautiful dresses, and ceremonially celebrating together.

8:30pm – 10:30pm: Workshop 4 HEART 2 HEART RITUAL led by Alexandra. Let’s get deep into what’s holding us back, clear some shit out and hold space for release and clearing in the heart and womb space. We will work with the Mother Mary and Mary Magdalene energies and archetypes, balancing our own polarities of Divine Feminine energy. Ending with a burning ceremony.

:: SUNDAY ::
7:30am – 8:00am: Morning Angel Meditation led by Alexandra.

8:30 am – 10:00am: Workshop 5 GET WHAT YOU WANT We’ve talked to our hearts and our wombs, we’ve the cleared old stories out. Now what? Let’s manifest our true heart’s desires, and and cultivate our sensual sides. This workshop introduces concrete tools for manifesting true love and partnership to incorporate into your daily practice. Followed by live coaching.

11:30 am – 1:00 pm: Workshop 6 FAIRY BRUNCH A date with your inner Wood Nymph
led by Elyssa. We will call in our fairy spirits to bring sexiness, play and fun to our love lives
over brunch!

2:30pm – 3:30pm: CLOSING RITUAL We will pull our energies together to seal the deal, sending our prayers into the earth and heavens with a candle that we can all take home.

Accommodation at Maha Rose North on The Numinous
Accommodation at Maha Rose North on The Numinous

:: PRICING ::

Retreat with all meals and two nights lodging | $640

Retreat with all meals and camping | $600

Retreat with all meals | $520 (guests to arrange own accommodation)

Sign-up online here. EARLY BIRDS! Book with a friend before June 17 and both receive a $50 discount. Installment payment plans are also possible—please contact Maha Rose to inquire on: [email protected].

:: BIOS ::

Ruby Warrington is a writer, curator, creative consultant, and founder of The Numinous, an online magazine where “material girl meets mystical world.” With 18 years’ experience in lifestyle journalism, she was formerly Features Editor for the UK Sunday Times Style magazine, and her writing has appeared in numerous publications on both sides of the Atlantic. Ruby has also been an astrology enthusiast since she discovered, aged three, she’d been born in the year of the Dragon. Her first book, a volume of “mystical self-help,” will be published by Harper Collins in Spring 2017.

Alexandra Roxo is a filmmaker, writer, and creative intuitive coach. She has been making films and shows about her spiritual journey with the Divine Feminine for the last 15 years, including the hit show Be Here Nowish and as a writer for the Numinous. Her work has been featured in Vogue, The New Yorker, i-D, Dazed, The Wall St Journal, London Times and more. She has been leading group rituals and women’s circles, high priestessing weddings, and facilitating creativity healing workshops off and on for 10 years.

Elyssa Jakim is a Reiki master, ceremonialist, and intuitive. She is a co-founder of Fairy School, held at Maha Rose, an after school program connecting children to their magic. She likes to connect adults to magic too, and has been known to incorporate fairies, unicorns, and mermaids into all aspects of her life and work. Elyssa co-created The Temple of Venus with The Numinous, a community art space and later monthly column focused on healing issues around love, sex, femininity, and everything in between. She received her Reiki Mastership with Lisa Levine, founder of Maha Rose.

TAROTSCOPES: JUNE 2016

Cast by Lindsay Mack, using The Starchild Tarot.

GEMINI – Justice, reversed 

Happy birthday, dear Gemini! You will be moving through quite the internal journey in Justice reversed, which is bringing some huge invitations this month. Should you choose to navigate this energy gracefully, it will yield to some truly life changing expansions for you. Justice reversed is asking you to accept your life’s present situations and circumstances exactly as they are—no story, no thinking, no blaming, no judgment. Almost every major aspect of your life will be projected to you through this lens and invitation, Gemini, and there’s a two-fold reason as to why:

The first is that our lives are a lot more peaceful and productive when we’re not fighting or arguing with reality. If something is happening, it is what is supposed to happen. Not because of some pseudo-spiritual idealogy, but because it occurred. It is reality. We cannot argue with reality and still live in peaceful alignment with truth. So you can find a new kind of balance in accepting the present moment, Gemini. This doesn’t mean you have to like it! Simply that you’re no longer fighting what is. Once you drop the fight, there will be so much more energy and clarity available to you.

The second reason is that only when we accept ourselves and our current situation as it is that we are free to change it. This acceptance yields to a grounded empowerment, and a sense of true personal responsibility. This is truly the liberation that Justice reversed offers you this month, Gemini. Drop any beliefs around things being “unfair,” or “not supposed to be this way,” along with any passive aggressive behavior that stems from this place. Drop the stories and so much growth is available.

How might your life be different if you weren’t lost in your stories? How much more energy would you have? What kind of empowered action might you take in your relationship, job, or with your health and family? How much more compassion would you have? How much of your anxiety and discomfort with your present life circumstances are connected to your stories about how things “should” be different than they currently are? Inquire and set yourself free.

Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Lindsay here and follow her on Instagram.

CANCER – King of Wands

TOTAL energetic shift for you this month, Cancer! Wow! King of Wands is fire, stability, power and action—so sink your teeth into these qualities and truly soak up all the energy extending its magic to every aspect of your life. It’s going to be a phenomenal month for you if you can consciously harness the power.

Cancers have been bobbing up and down in the waves for the last few cycles—one moment full of directed action and hopeful purpose, the next spent within your shell, retreating and recovering from all of the movement. The great news is that these waves have been preparing you to spend much more time out of your shell, sharing your gifts and abilities with the world. The waves have been slowly building up some energetic muscles for you, helping you to feel safer fully out in the world.

The King of Wands is the perfect ally for you this month, Cancer. This energy is STRONG. It is stable, clear-headed (even during times of extreme pressure), and confident without being cocky. You will be taking on and embodying this energy in June, and it has the potential to be fantastic for your career, creative pursuits, and love life. The fact is, sweet Cancer, you are amazing at what you do. You are worthy, lovable, sexy, smart, and hold so much power and ability to make a huge impact. Be willing to be seen in this light this month—even if it makes you extremely uncomfortable. Frankly, if it does, it means you’re on the right track! If we’re not uncomfortable, we are usually not growing. Take comfort in that.

Last month’s invitation to weed out all possible areas of energetic drain has made this kind of expansion and “take off” possible for you, Cancer. Allow yourself to be uncomfortable, and step forward into greatness. Begin to implement different self-care techniques to reground and re-center, then step forward again. Be willing to be seen, be willing to speak your truth, and tell the world about your work. Whatever you are making, whatever you are passionate about, share it and open your heart. You have much to offer people, Cancer, but your tribe has to be able to find you. Let the King of Wands light the way.

Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Lindsay here and follow her on Instagram.

LEO – King of Crystals, reversed 

Continue to be very gentle with yourself this month, Leo. This was your invitation in May as well, and you’re still very much in that energy. June is all about self-care for you. It is a time to completely unplug, recharge, go within and get back to basics: breathing, good food, hydration, reading, outdoor time and meditation. It is crucial that you re-center and get back to the core sense of who you are and what you’re here to do. There has been so much burnout, work and distraction for Leo lately; your nervous systems is really fried, even if you might not feel or want to admit this. June is going to help to cool you off considerably, preparing you for a healthy and overflowing expansion in the fall.

King of Crystals (Pentacles in the traditional tarot) right way up is a leader who knows who he is, what he is here for and where he is going. His tremendous passion is grounded and earthy, fire he knows how to use wisely. The reversal of the card for Leo this month, is a gentle indication that you need to realign yourself with these important King of Pentacles aspects: living in your leadership, knowing who you are, tempering that inner fire, cultivating a sense of connection to Earth, and to regeneration. You must go within to reclaim a place of healthy passion, drive and self awareness.

The medicine for you this month is to remember that this time is both temporary and helpful—shining a light on an old pattern so that you don’t have to deal with it anymore. To get your compass facing true north again, you must surrender to this time. Allow gentle self care to be your guiding star, leading you to greatness.

You ARE being led forward into a new and spectacular time, Leo, whether you feel it or not. The path might feel relatively unclear for you at this moment, but this is absolutely appropriate. If you saw all of the goodness on its way to you, it would be a total distraction from the gentle self care that is imperative at this time. Trust and allow. Trust that you are not lost, merely evolving and upgrading to a more grounded and healthy sense of who you are and how you can use your energy and power in the most optimal way. Commit to it and be transformed.

Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Lindsay here and follow her on Instagram.

VIRGO – Nine of Wands 

It is of the utmost importance for Virgos to move at their own pace this month. Nice and easy is the name of the game. Nine of Wands is an enormous energy, one that teaches us to honor rest during a long and wildly intense time, energetically. Whether you are on a journey, in the midst of a deadline, or just moving through some huge internal expansions, it will be imperative to take breaks within the frenzy—and to resist the temptation to apologize or explain yourself for doing so.

Only we can know our inner experience, and it is up to us to honor ourselves by going slowly or resting as we need at any given moment. When we do so, instead of muscling through life, we not only live in alignment with what is in our highest and best on a personal level, but we invite others to do the same thing. This is how we can sustain high frequency energy without burnout, by taking little stops along the way. It is Shakti energy, letting all the power and intensity move through us without getting totally overwhelmed by it.

Virgos bring such an important and unique frequency to the planet. You guys are processing so much energy much of the time, and as a result, your nervous systems are arguably the most sensitive of all the signs. This month will be the chance to truly learn how to move and process high frequency energies while staying grounded and balanced. We get Nine of Wands when we are ALMOST to a finish line. That’s the feel of it. Virgos have been on such a ride these past few months, and there is most definitely a break coming for you energetically in late summer/early fall. Possibly even in mid-June/early July.

There is something very important about this time for Virgos, although it might not seem that way on the surface. It’s the final burst of adrenaline before the finish line, when you can finally recover and nourish yourselves. This card truly helps us know the stuff we are made of. If you can move through Nine of Wands energy, you can do anything. Expect a lot of intensity, pressure and heat this month in your life, Virgo. It’s going to be hard work, but amazing. Embrace the opportunity to master how to balance this energy with gentle breaks and self care.

Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Lindsay here and follow her on Instagram.

LIBRA – Perspective, reversed 

You’ve been given lots and lots of gentle taps on the shoulder, Libra. Little whispers to slow down, quiet the mind, and be still. This month, you almost have no choice but to fall into an Ego death; it’s a whole new level for you in terms of self-actualization.

Perspective is The Hanged Man in the traditional tarot, and this card is the perfect ally for you right now, Libra; a voluntary surrender from the Ego and into the heart and soul. When reversed, however, the main and primary focus is on clearing up any resistance to this surrender before we can flip into the heart. Perspective reversed is an energy that will not leave until the job is done, so you might as well welcome it in with open arms. This month is a bit like entering a new portal for you, Libra. Once you get a taste of this kind of freedom, there really is no going back.

You’ve been working hard, moving through a really intense time, but not fully surrendered yet. One foot is still out the door, specifically around not believing your thoughts. This is what Libra is here to master and experience, so this is in NO WAY a problem. It is exactly what it should be. So honor this, first and foremost. Secondly, this is not a shattering of YOU—just of the ego. Any part of you that resists, or gets defensive and withdrawn is the ego; it freaks because it knows its losing its ranking. Be willing to be courageous, to question your thoughts. Firmly and lovingly move that part of you from the driver’s seat into the back seat, then let it tantrum.

Tantrum is a great word for Perspective reversed. There is profound resistance to hanging out in the Void of pure love, so the ego kicks up a tantrum to distract us—because it’s afraid. Important to remember, so you’re not treating it like an enemy. Let it scream, as you just keep coming back to your breath, to the present moment. This is actually how Hanged Man is working for you this month, by untying the little knots in any given moment you find your ego freaking out in. Stay with it, Libra. Move through this ego death, and prepare for a new way of walking through the world. And unimaginably beautiful things will come out of this time for you.

Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Lindsay here and follow her on Instagram.

SCORPIO – Knight of Wands

Getting back in touch with a playful, joyful sexuality is of the utmost importance for you in June, Scorpio. Where is the part of you that loves to be seen and heard? Loves to dance and rejoice? Loves to let other people feel your power, light and magnetism? You all touched this place within yourselves as children; now it is time to come back home to it.

You’re in a very different energy this month, one that really has the power to fuel you. But it’s not a “getting shit done” kind of month. The Knight of Wands is fire and air; passion, creativity and movement, with our fully-engaged minds along for the ride. This is a conscious commitment to being in your playful, creative flow. Some of you are still healing deep wounds, some of you are quietly processing some major karmic shit—but the invitation to play is open, even for the most fragile of you.

This can be embraced in any number of ways. Take voice lessons, perform in a play, let people hear your music, take salsa dancing class, get a new outfit that makes you feel like a million dollars, walk around topless, listen to music that makes you feel powerful—whatever makes your spirit soar, lean into it. For some of you, this may be a more internal, quiet energy. For others, it’ll be very public and broad. Let yourself be as big as you desire to be, and drop any story about not being ready: you’re as ready as you’ll ever be. Take the plunge.

The “why” of this invitation is really the most powerful part: and the answer is, because you deserve to feel joy and the spark of excitement again, Scorpio. It has been a VERY intense few months for many of you; now it is time to reconnect with how profoundly you deserve to feel good. This is also aligning some of you with how life can be easier, more graceful. So look around you: where is there room for more joy, passion and creativity in your life? Are you too exhausted, busy, broke or distracted to allow this energy to flow through you? It might be tough, it might bring up feelings of defensiveness, but I encourage you to really ask yourself these questions. Absorb your answers with an open heart, and make adjustments from there.

Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Lindsay here and follow her on Instagram.

SAGITTARIUS – King of Swords

Let this entire month be a process of connecting your heart to your throat, Sagittarius. Speak your truth. Your truest truth. Speak about your pain, your defensiveness, your fear—let it be vulnerable, let it be soft, let it be a healing. It is also time to communicate your perceived weaknesses, Sag. No more editing yourself. You don’t have to have it figured out, and it doesn’t have to be perfect. Just share yourself, wherever you happen to be.

There has been a very interesting pattern arising with Sagittarians. A lot of cracking open, replacing hard walls with softness. Whether you knew it or not, the last few months have been leading you to this moment, embracing and honoring the shadow in a whole new way. Not doctoring or tweaking it to make it more palatable. More sharing what you feel through a raw, imperfect and glorious lens. The King of Swords is a communicator. A powerful presence who allows his passion and his heart to be connected to his mind and words. This is an invitation to speak, share and express yourself profoundly. The phrase, “the truth will set you free” comes to mind.

Now, let us clarify something here: Sagittarians will speak their mind on anything. This is one of the greatest qualities about your sign. If you’re feeling or thinking something, trust that it’s going to be shared. However, there is a portion of your truth that does not get shared. For some of you, a little side dish—for others, a full meal. It’s usually around an area where you’re highly vulnerable, or have your guard and defenses up very high. And there’s rawness of expression that you’re being asked to hang out in this month. The why of it, however, is pretty amazing.

You’re leveling up, Sag. You want bigger, brighter, sweeter and more potent lives? Share that raw truth, and it’ll drop right in. You guys bring forward courageous, empowered, passionate expression, blazing the torch for other people to share their truest truth. You cannot do this unless you are willing to share yours—even if you qualify this as “difficult” for you. Let your heart continue to crack open. Get raw, soft, and vulnerable, and you will find levels of expansion you didn’t even know were possible.

Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Lindsay here and follow her on Instagram.

CAPRICORN – Nine of Crystals, reversed

There is so much goodness, joy and abundance in your life right now, Capricorn. So resist getting lost in your story about how you don’t have this or that and just be here now. Taste the blessings around you. Look at the fruits of all you’ve worked for. Can you show yourself gratitude for that without adding a “but” or a “should” to your language? This will be your invitation this month—to come back to this moment, and all the goodness around you. To appreciate yourself and all that you’ve gained with your efforts in life thus far. To drop the story about how it’s not what you really want or what you think you should have, be or think. None of that is reality.

Reality is what’s right in front of you, and I can tell you it’s exactly what you need because it’s what you’ve got! You cannot move forward and receive more unless you’re willing to start here, so you might as well do it now. For some of you, any quasi disappointment with what’s “here now” might be around love and relationships. You cannot improve the relationship you’re in unless you yourself are expanding (with or without your partner), so refocus on that and drop the story. Same goes for those of you who are single. Are you embracing this solitary time? It won’t be forever, so appreciate the space, the richness of possibility. Don’t wait for anyone—just live.

For those of you who are feeling “less than” about work, are you full of complaints and stories about how you want to quit, move on, learn this new thing, yet nothing happens? Just drop the story and do the thing. Commit and see what flows from there. Instead of loathing your current situation, bless it and send a prayer up to the Universe that you desire better. This way you keep living in the frequency of “better.” Take empowered action and choose what brings you joy; see what’s right in front of you. If this is arising about money, I guarantee you that you need to offer yourself more alone time—to go inward and be grateful for what’s here.

Capricorn, this is usually not my style. I don’t believe in making up dishonest gratitude when we just aren’t feeling it. But with you this is different. You really DO have all this beauty around you that you’re not seeing. You must pause in order to pick the fruit and appreciate what you’ve created thus far. Nurture the belief that you are enough and you have all you need. Watch and see how much more dances its way to your door.

Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Lindsay here and follow her on Instagram.

AQUARIUS – Six of Swords, reversed 

It might be harder to see the forest for the trees this month, Aquarius. Our inner experiences and external situations may act as thick foliage, obscuring the bigger picture. For most of you, the Six of Swords is a tiny whisper—a call to inquire and get clear before you jump to action or assume anything. For a few of you, it may be more like a knock on the head. Either way, it’s a specific invitation to pause and get clear before you take action. How you do so will determine a great deal of the month for you. It’ll also bring you into a space of rationale and personal responsibility around all things. So, how do you act from a place of center, when things around you are unclear?

One ways to get clear is to go slower in all ways. Think before you act, assume less, pause more. This is going to show up in different ways for all of you this month; for some of you it will be in relationships or matters of the heart. For others, it’ll be around family and work. Just go gently through whatever arises, meeting it with as much curiosity and compassion as possible.

The other invitation for you this month, Aquarius, is to ask for help if you need it. Support is a huge piece, because you need to feel that it’s available to you anytime you need it. Reaching out for any kind of support shuts down the voice in the brain (the voice of the ego) that tells us we have to woman-up and go it alone. It’s also important to welcome the assistance of friends, neighbors and our soul tribe, since the people in our life serve as mirrors for us. They show us where we are pointed when the compass is whizzing around and confusing us.

So as you reach out to others, choose wisely—seeking the council and support of those you sense will help you evolve through this place of potential lack of clarity by utilizing the clearest mirrors in your life to reflect back love and guidance to you. On the other hand, the backdrop to this tricky-sounding footwork is a month that will also be full of light, love, goodness and fun for you, Aquarius. Think of this energy as just a highly specific and very important dance that you’re learning right now. Lean into it and feel the support in your life leading you back home.

Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Lindsay here and follow her on Instagram.

PISCES – King of Cups 

This is a good month for Pisces, especially those of you who are healers, artists or helping professionals in some way. King of Cups holds immense space for the emotions of others, and can do so without becoming overwhelmed or drained. He can do this because he is balanced, which is the key word for Pisces this month. You’ve been working through some swings; some moments it’s all about you with no room for anyone else, other times it’s all about other people.

This month, there’s a quantum shift. You have the capacity to hold space for your own emotions while remaining balanced and available to others. It’s going to have a beautiful effect on your self esteem, relationships, and careers. The King of Cups walks the line of fire and water; blending passion, a nurturing heart, and an ability to flow with whatever is in front of him. Basically Pisces, you now have enough space within YOU to truly hold space for others. Utilize this, and trust in your ability to do this. Even if you’re not a helping professional, the spirit remains the same. This month will show you that you can take on much more than you thought you could—and thrive.

It’s been a powerful time for Pisces, a lot of reordering and rebuilding, helping your sensitive souls get used to the frenetic energy of the times. Your nervous systems are getting more and more used to it, and I think you’ll feel a huge difference this month. In the Motherpeace tarot, the King of Cups wears a mask to do his healing work in the world. Not a bad mask, but one that allows him to hold both a private experience and a public face; and he can do this because he is a gentle leader, one who is coded for service.

Basically what this invitation means for you, Pisces, is that it’s time to get back into the flow of life. To show up. To speak your truth, share your wisdom, and to not hold back. The world really needs you. It needs you in your joy, in your light, healthy and happy. You have overflow, so use it. A gentle invitation to those of you who, at this moment, might feel miles away from this place of energetic abundance, this place of balance and generosity: remember you can always choose the willingness to stay open to the possibility of a different way of seeing, doing, and being.

Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Lindsay here and follow her on Instagram.

ARIES – Ten of Wands 

Aries, the Divine is cracking the whip. The way you are working and moving through the world is no longer serving you—at all. There is a level of continual adrenal exhaustion that is really not sustainable. No more, and thank God for it. There must be a new way, and everything is here to support you in creating it. June will be inviting you into a space where you will have to make adjustments to the way you work, take on tasks, and replenish your personal well.

There must be a new commitment to balance, or you can no longer continue to go forward at all. So where do you start? You begin by employing some gentleness, and calming down the Ram, so to speak. You start with baby steps: whatever your dream self care routine is, begin. Even if it’s five minutes a day, start with five minutes.

The second thing, which is crucial, is that you must ask for help—you must, Aries. You must! Know that you can trust other people and that it is safe for you to receive. An important message for your ego too, which in moments like this can be fragile. It can be intensely vulnerable for you to ask for help, Aries. But this is important for you. There really is no other way.

Also: this isn’t about lightening up your schedule or streamlining your life, necessarily. If you’re busy or working or in a situation that moves you, that’s all well and good—this isn’t about saying “no” to more. But you do have to take a knee, be fearless, and welcome in more support to help you maintain this level of work. How you are functioning isn’t sustainable, so June will be directing you in a new way. When we find ourselves in a place like this, we don’t drop the thing we are engaged in or working on. We try a new way with it, and see how we can reorder it.

However—if you DO feel the need to take more time for yourself, or sense that you want to lighten up in one area or another, you won’t know what must go until you’ve rested and regenerated a bit. And so go gently and mindfully through the month. But above all, know that don’t have to do it on your own, Aries. More so, that it’s not serving you to do it on your own. So open the windows and doors and let the support flood in.

Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Lindsay here and follow her on Instagram.

TAURUS – Three of Swords, reversed

June is a month for taking out the trash, Taurus. As in, outdated forms of self-medication, drama, gossip and people in your life who drain you energetically. Everything that keeps you in a place of swirling negativity, anxiety and low frequency is gone—swept away in the energy of the Three of Swords reversed. The potential for personal transformation from this energetic clear out is massive. June is clearing out the last little splinters that have been pulling you back into contraction. What is being birthed in its place is true peace and separation from any energy that does not serve you, allowing you to heal any old wounds.

Three of Swords is an experience of heartbreak, heartache, drama, betrayal, anxiety and/hurt feelings. I have always thought of the Buddhist teaching of The Second Arrow with this card; we can’t always control the first sword to the heart. Someone is rude to us on the subway; a parent or partner says something insensitive or out of anger. Any of these are the “first arrow,” and we had no control over the wound they caused. It pierced us without any warning.

The “second arrow,” however, is optional, and created by our reaction to the first arrow. These are the wounds we cause by making war with the offending person, place or situation, or dropping into anger and victimhood. Sword upon sword upon sword. The Three of Swords asks that we remove the knives completely, drop the drama, and tend to the heart, the deep wounds and to our vulnerability, rather than the story of the wounds. This is what it is asking of you, too, Taurus.

Because the card is reversed for you, it speaks of good tidings. You’re no longer engaged in the same reactionary cycle as you once were, which is something to celebrate. The Three of Swords reversed, is bringing a much lighter energy for you than if it was right side up. It is here this month to completely break any cycle of mental identification with victimhood, and to soften you into your heart even more deeply than you imagined. In doing so, you will change your relationship with how you treat your precious body, mind and spirit, no longer dragging yourself through mud or drama. Move through the energy, complete the cycle, and soothe the heart.

Want more wisdom? Book a reading with Lindsay here and follow her on Instagram.

COSMIC CULTURE FOR JUNE

All that’s Nu in music, movies, books, and film: read on for Amelia Quint‘s round-up of cosmic culture for June…

Glastonbury Florence Machine THE NUMINOUS
Virgo Florence Welch at Glastonbury

:: MUSIC ::

It’s music festival season! Time to adorn yourself with sigils, pack your sage smudges, wear your favorite talismans, and get going. Here’s your mystical guide to the best music festivals happening this month, and the lowdown on which one will give your soul the nourishment it’s craving.

Gentle reminder: have fun, and while you’re there, please practice proper safety. Love and respect the place you’re in, love and respect yourself and those around you, and all will be chill.

GLASTONBURY

June 22 – 26, Worthy Farm, Pilton, Somerset, UK

The ladies rule Glastonbury this year, just as Morgan le Fay once did. Go for what’s sure to be a stunning performance from the high priestess of all festival stages, Florence Welch of Florence + The Machine. Stay for Adele’s ferocious pipes, the PJ Harvey’s uncompromising artistry, and up-and-comer Låpsley’s dream-pop. If there’s time, let Unknown Mortal Orchestra sweep you off your feet with their cinematic brand of rock. Also, word on the street is that there’s a secret set from Radiohead in the works, so be ready to drop everything and Thom Yorke dance at any moment.

THIS FESTIVAL IS FOR: Lunar goddesses. Water sign people who want to touch the sublime parts of life through music.

BONNAROO

June 9 – 12, Great Stage Park, Manchester, TN, USA

Bonnaroo may have the most universally appealing lineup out of this year’s festival set, with an undeniably danceable blend of crowd pleasers. There are your typical festival darlings like Tame Impala, Haim, and Blood Orange, supplemented by a few nostalgia acts (Third Eye Blind) and hot young things (Sunflower Bean). Still, for a festival that has a history of catering to a niche crowd, this year’s list refreshing! Hip-hop lovers, put Bryson Tiller and J. Cole at the top of your list. Fans of The Weekend and Kanye West circa Late Registration will definitely approve.

THIS FESTIVAL IS FOR: Magpie Air sign people who want a little bit of everything.

Electric Forest Fetty Wap on The Numinous
Gemini Fetty Wap at Electric Forest

ELECTRIC FOREST

June 23-26, Double JJ Resort, Grand Township, MI, USA

This gathering is unique in every way, from its eclectic lineup to its singular location. Set in the heart of the Double JJ Resort’s beautiful ranch property, the forest provides the perfect environment for people to release the wildness within their souls. The lineup consists primarily of electronic dance music mainstays, including Bassnectar, Bonobo, and Disco Biscuits—the kind of music that will keep you dancing into the wee hours. Club favorites like Fetty Wap and DJ Mustard (Needed Me, Or Nah) are also on the bill, so there’s something here for everyone’s inner maenad.

THIS FESTIVAL IS FOR: Fire sign people looking for an ecstatic route to enlightenment.

MOUNTAIN JAM

June 2-5, Hunter Mountain, NY, USA

If you’re looking for a festival where you can kick back, relax, and let me music move you—this one’s tailored to you. Top billing goes to Beck, Wilco, and The Avett Brothers, with support from Brandi Carlile and high vibe favorite Michael Franti & Spearhead. He’s so loved by those of our ilk that you can even take a yoga class while he serenades you through sun salutations! If you can deal with the fact that Train will be covering Led Zeppelin II in its entirety, this is a show you won’t want to miss.

THIS FESTIVAL IS FOR: Grounded Earth sign people who want to reconnect with their roots.

The Neon Demon poster on The Numinous

:: FILM ::

THE NEON DEMON

In this Valley of the Dolls-style thriller, Nicolas Winding Refn of Drive acclaim follows an aspiring model’s descent into the fashion industry’s dark underworld. Elle Fanning stars,and it’s rumored to have been inspired by Venus-in-Leo-gone-wrong, Elizabeth Báthory, who allegedly bathed in the blood of virgins to preserve her own youth. Will the film be a successful indictment of youth worship, or will its model-filled scenes prove otherwise? Reviews so far are mixed, so you’ll have to decide for yourself. If nothing else, it will be beautiful.

THE NEON DEMON premieres June 24 in the United States.

TIME TO CHOOSE

In the new documentary by the Academy Award winning director of Inside Job, Charles Ferguson explores solutions to the climate change crisis. He interviews experts in the energy field, including politicians, entrepreneurs, thought leaders, innovators, and individuals already directly experiencing the catastrophic effects of climate change. Come to help save Mother Gaia, stay for the narration by your internet BF, Oscar Isaac.

TIME TO CHOOSE premieres June 3 in the United States.

OITNB Season 4 candles on the Numinous

:: TELEVISION ::

ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK

Surprise—Orange is the New Black may be the most woke show on television! Last season’s brave exploration of faith and miracles was, in many ways, a depiction of what we’ve all experienced in our respective journeys. Watching the Litchfield women do full moon rituals, gather kitchen supplies for spells, fear judgment for their beliefs, and grapple with doubt was, for me, a deeply humbling experience. I don’t want to spoil anything, so suffice to say that let’s hope they continue that narrative in the forthcoming season. We need it.

ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK premieres on June 17 on Netflix.

AQUARIUS

If you’re experiencing The X-Files withdrawals, this could be your fix. Set in the psychedelic 1960s, David Duchovny goes undercover to investigate Charles Manson’s infamous cult. It’s not an mystical show per se, but his descent into the Manson family’s world illustrates how Aquarian age concepts go wrong when lower Neptune urges (think sex, drugs, rock and roll, and madness) distort the original message. Aquarius is worth watching as a modern mystic.

AQUARIUS premieres June 16 on NBC.

The Past Life Perspective on The Numinous

:: BOOKS ::

THE PAST LIFE PERSPECTIVE

Curious about who you may have been in a past life? In this book, licensed therapist Ann Barham opens the doors of her office for a revealing look at what actually happens in past life regressions, including her own experiences and those of many clients. She explores the potential of regression as an aid for personal healing, spiritual inquiry, and discovering your true nature across multiple lifetimes.

The Past Life Perspective will be available June 7 from Atria/Enliven (Simon & Schuster).

THE GAIAN TAROT

After a long hiatus, this beloved tarot deck from Joanna Powell Colbert will be back in print with an updated guidebook and illustrations. The art is a mix of animals and people living in wild nature, and the deck’s comforting energy is grounded and relatable. As an owner of the deck, I can say that it provides incredibly accurate readings, especially for personal journaling and spiritual practice. Get your hands on this quickly, because copies will go fast!

Gaian Tarot will be available June 28 from Schiffer Publishing.

COMFORTABLY NUMB: JUST SAY NO TO PEOPLE-PLEASING

Used to numbing out her own needs by being hyper-helpful, Kate Atkinson has been learning how to just say “NO” to people-pleasing…

beyonce giving the finger flipping the bird the numinous

“We’re all going to die, all of us, what a circus! That alone should make us love each other but it doesn’t. We are terrorized and flattened by trivialities, we are eaten up by nothing.” – Charles Bukowski

People have asked a couple of things of me this month. You know, the usual friend favors. It happens daily right? Do you think you could walk my dog? Can I borrow some cash until the end of the month? Hey, would you mind checking over my resume? I’ve done it myself plenty of times, and given these small acts of good will in return. Natural right? Favors and back-scratching are a part of life…except that recently, I haven’t felt so accommodating.

In fact, there have been a few requests in lately where I’ve felt like saying: “do you know what actually—no.” Except that I won’t. Instead, I will let the emails fester in my inbox until they’ve burned a hole in my psyche, turning them over and over in my head until I think I am going to explode.

That’s right, I’m a “yes” wo(man). As in, I really don’t know how to say “no.” Like a narcotic, I get high on my own hyper-helpfulness—every email a ping of serotonin: “I got this.” Except that running on a treadmill of responsiveness has become exhausting, and these days I don’t know who I’m running the race for.

My “yes” complex has also proven to be a useful numbing strategy, when I’ve got sucked so far down the vortex of helping and fixing I fail to see things as they really are—acting so quickly to keep others happy that my own, likely un-met, needs become irrelevant. There’s an old adage that resentment is like letting someone live rent free in your head. And if that’s the case, I’ve been letting out an entire Brooklyn apartment block to a bunch of freaks.

In my research about how to get better at saying “no,” here’s my number one discovery—the modern way of affirming negative goes something like this: say nothing at all. Repeat.

In this always-connected age, the pretend-I-just-didn’t-get-the-memo is what comes out trumps. Ignore it, and hopefully it will disappear. But what’s it doing to us, this radio silence? And like, why can’t we just be fucking honest with each other? What I want to know is, when was the last time you said “no” to someone, guilt free?

Try it:

“No, I am not coming to that dinner because I think the people are extremely shallow and self absorbed.”

“No, I won’t head over when your boyfriend’s out of town because you didn’t answer my call when I needed you.”

“No, I won’t work for you for free because actually—what the blimmin’ heck have you done for me lately?”

Feels great right?

This is because, as Melodie Beattie writes in The Language of Letting Go: “When we learn to say no, we stop lying. People can trust us, and we can trust ourselves. All sorts of good things happen when we start saying what we mean…(and) we don’t have to offer long explanations for our decisions.”

Rewind to a me watching a talk by the inimitable Marina Abramovic. The outspoken Russian and her pal Laurie Anderson both had a fair bit to say about living vs dying, and both were riffing on codes to live by…how we are to get the most out of our lives in the limited time that we have on earth.

The theme that came through loud and strong was the importance of marching to the beat of one’s own drum. To cut it with the people-pleasing, and find your own voice. Because, to put it simply: YOLO.

Words that have sunk in, this past month, to a backdrop of several people in my circle suddenly dropping like flies. No morbid details, rather to say that sometimes, suddenly, you are served a brutal reminder that our days in this life are limited.

So how can we stop people-pleasing, and spend our precious hours crafting a life we want?
By getting comfortable that you’re going to miss out. By getting down with the fact that it’s okay to not show up when people “need” you sometimes. By realizing that you only get one life, and that while friends and intimacy are important, not for one second are you here to live your life for someone else. By realizing that while some people might bitch you out, your real mates are going to stick around.

N-O. Say it. Say it louder! Time to stop pepping with the yes pills. And settle into the headspace that comes from realizing that less can most definitely be more.

A GUIDE TO SPIRITUAL MONTAUK

Want a more meaningful beach retreat this summer? Colleen Kelly, Bret Caretsky and Madeleine Murphy of the Montauk Juice Factory, share their guide to spiritual Montauk…Images: Elayne Safir

spiritual montauk on the Numinous

Montauk: it’s the energy vortex of the East Coast summer. The air is special up here, charged with a cosmic energy that engulfs and transforms you the moment you cross the stretch. So if you’re planning a visit to The End, make the most of the vibes with our top 7 ways to elevate your mind, body and spirit—allowing the blend of salty air and sacred land guide you on an inward journey to the deepest part of yourself.

1. Ground down. Meaning kick off your shoes (and socks) and feel the earth. Enjoy a long, barefoot beach walk is gonna feel extra special since the sand between your toes in Montauk is made of small fragments of clear quartz, leaving you feeling instantly clearer and stronger. Let the negative ions seep into your skin, and balance out the positively charged toxins in your body.

2. Be a litter picker. During your stay, if you see any loose litter blowing down the beaches pick it up and recycle—to give Mother Earth the signal to continue to give back to you throughout your visit.

spiritual montauk on the numinous

2. Get salty. Visit the Montauk Salt Cave for a holistic and rejuvenating wellness experience surrounded with the healing energy of pink Himalayan sea salts and rocks. Designed to clear toxins from our lungs and nasal passageways, this magical place is deeply restorative for the respiratory tract and spirit. Check out their website to see what salty healing events they have going on. If you’re lucky you may even stumble upon a Kundalini class with our good friend and gong queen, Jen Frasher.

3. Salute the sun. Watching the sunrise or sunset can lessen anxiety, stress and depression, since it encourages us to slow down and be conscious in the moment, as we observe every streak the sun has painted in the sky. Soon your mood will match the colors—bright and vibrant—and you will naturally have less headspace for irritability and worry, and more for beauty and joy. We recommend checking out the beaches at Navy Road where you can watch the sun set over the water in the summer months. Visualize the energy from the sun spreading from your crown to the rest of the body while letting the sounds of the water relax your inner being.

4. Get tribal. Weekly drum circles are held on the beach, but you’ll have to ask around to try to attend one. It’s worth the legwork to connect to the rhythmic beat, tap into your primal side, and unleash your inner wild.

spiritual montauk on the Numinous

5. Unplug and create. If you’re looking for a place to get quiet and seek inspiration, try the walking labyrinth—a hidden gem built by a local community group. Overlooking Fort Pond Bay, this intricate path of stones is a beautiful spot for walking meditations, contemplation and mindful moments. Every step is a chance to remind yourself of something to be grateful for; to let go of something that is holding you back; or to just be fully present in the moment.

6. Get your flow going. Yoga is obviously a yes in Montauk! Our favorite is Yoga Lila (which means “divine play” in Sanskrit) for creative classes in a beautiful, inspiring studio—or try their SUP yoga classes if you are a drawn to the water.

7. Make some magic. A definite date for the diary is the Montauk Magic Retreat. Hosted by Numinous contributor Fern Olivia and rockstar shaman Alyson Charles in a private home by the ocean, you can enjoy daily movement and meditation, beach hikes, chanting, chakra and aura cleansing accompanied, by plant based cuisine and MJF cold-pressed juices. July 20-25 2016.

spiritual montauk on the Numinous

8. Pay us a visit. This isn’t just a shameless plug! Swing by 12 South Etna Avenue to fuel your body and your high-vibe vacay with high-integrity juices and smoothies. Our organic, nutrient-dense juices are made with intentional, purpose-driven recipes to make every cell in your body rejoice.

Inspired by our cosmic surroundings and natural environment, we also offer the MJF Apothecary—a rad self-care line of botanical beauty formulas that are holistic, gentle and effective. Drawing on the wisdom of the earth, the power of the ocean and the magic of the same functional ingredients we use in our raw kitchen, every product is 100% organic and handcrafted in small batches—all designed to keep your Montauk glow shining even longer.

Join The Montauk Juice Factory and Kalisa Augustine for a special Spirit Animal 101 workshop July 16 2016. Learn what a spirit animal is and how to connect with yours, followed by a shamanic journey with sound healing crystal bowls, guided visualization, served up with high vibe raw food and juices. All the details are at this link! 

HOLY F*CK: HOW TO FIND YOUR EDGE

Only in the places of discomfort can we experience true healing, says Alexandra Roxo. PLUS 5 ways to find your edge…

HOW TO FIND YOUR EDGE The Numinous alexandra roxo Holy F*ck
Goddess power earrings by Marcia Vidal. Non toxic lipstick by Ilia Beauty.

“There must be something deeply disturbed about a person who wants to be flogged or spit on.” As my friend said this I nearly spit out my kombucha. It was a sunny day and we were sitting on a blanket in the Bay area, having some girl talk, munching on goji berries, having just completed two nights of plant medicine ceremony together.

I started to feel sweaty and hot which means my deep soul was having a freakout. I put my cup down, took a deep breath summoning massive courage and said: “I disagree. It can also be about a person wanting to push their edges. It can be a game, power play, fun, and a vehicle for catharsis. Something beyond the human polarities of ‘right’ and ‘wrong.’ Just as enlightening as any other medicine that pushes you to your edge and into a place of expansion.”

Let’s be real, in a lot of spiritual circles we tend towards the light and white, the higher chakras, high vibes…And well, usually as far away as possible from the dark, scary underbelly of things. Be it talking about BDSM or deep wounds, many of us shy away. After all, IG posts that are dark/revealing and heavy, usually get a lot less likes than the ones that are bright and all “I’m floating up here with my Spirit team!”

Well I say…Fuck. That. In the past few years I’ve found the scary bits—the “nevers,” the edges, the parts that make my heart beat fast—to be possibly my biggest teachers. Lately I’ve been wanting to talk about them more and more among circles of women whose faces might go white as an angel’s wing if I said something about squirting being transcendental. But ladies, the time has come! (And yes squirting, and even fisting, can be transcendental. But more on that another time. Or just DM me, lol.)

>>>

You know those friends who push you to your edge? Usher you out of your cozy wozy comfort zone full of sheepskin rugs and Palo Santo, into a scary dark place you cannot control and force you to pull down your “Everything’s okay!” mask? I LOVE those friends. In the moment, I hate them for “making” me hitchhike with a creepy Mexican man on a beach in Oaxaca into the jungle.

Or for saying: “I saved you a spot on the three-day plant medicine retreat where we’ll be fasting and sleeping under the stars. Bring a poop bucket!” Or for calling me out on my shit. HATE THAT. But I really LOVE it. Thank Goddess for the friends that help you to your edge.

I recently signed up for an online course called a “Relationship Detox” with Perri Gorman. On Perri’s intake form you get to say to what level you want to be pushed. I checked off “HOT ORANGE” or something. Basically as hot as possible. (#overachiever!) So in class the other day, when I had to say what conclusions I had come to after making a relationship chronology, and I started rambling, “Well, we were dating and he said some really mean things but you see I’ve been meditating and doing a lot of WORK on this for months. Many healers. I really feel great about it now!” She stopped me mid-sentence.

“No you don’t. Pull off your mask, get in your pussy and tell me the story again!” I was taken aback but I knew immediately what she meant. I breathed through my mask, told the story again, deeply rooted into my truth, shared all the embarrassing parts, tears running down my cheeks, feeling such a huge catharsis: the feeling of being grounded deeply into my body. And then Perri told me: “Ultimate kindness is to risk saying something the ego may detest but that the soul is craving.” Which a wonderful teacher like that can make happen.

So forget smiling pleasantly with a namaste! Let’s get messy together. Hold space for each other to WAIL. Ask real questions to women who have birthed many babies. Talk about fucking. Sob until snot is running into our mouths. Have multiple orgasms that make us scream uncontrollably and then weep in a puddle of our own fluid. Not be afraid to pull down our masks.

"Thank Goddess for friends who call you out on your shit!"
“Thank Goddess for friends who call you out on your shit!”

Be it a paddling to the ass, or a projectile purge into a bucket in a room full of people or simply allowing yourself to feel anger, it’s only at the edge that we’ll find the collective catharsis we are looking for—a massive reconnection into the present of our bodies. And especially into our pussies. Into the force which creates life. Pushing us past our edges into a new land, the land of growth.

I try to push an edge every day. Last week I drove for an hour while still on mushrooms. A few days ago I admitted to a room full of people choking through sobs my deepest darkest shadows in love and relationships. I kissed a snake on the lips a few weeks ago. Just finished 40 days of chanting to Kali. Who knows what tomorrow will bring!

:: 5 WAYS TO FIND YOUR EDGE ::

1. Make a list of all the things that make you uncomfortable, or that you said you would never do or say or be or admit. This could be getting naked in front of someone. Crying in front of someone. Admitting to yourself your heart is closed off and you need help. Going on a vision quest. Camping alone. Now get to know that list. Put it on your altar. Start to allow it into your consciousness.

2. Break it into steps. Maybe it’s opening a Tinder account and asking someone out. Or spending time alone. Maybe it’s working out in a sports bra instead of a t-shirt. Signing up for a primal screaming course. A tantric sexual healer. Not exercising for a few days. Everyone’s edge is different! Start small and BREATHE through it. If it’s not making your heart beat fast, then it’s not an edge.

3. Ask for help. I could not have done this alone. Find a friend who helps you find your edge. Or a coach. A teacher. A witness. Someone to keep you accountable and help you and hold you when you cry.

4. When it starts getting tough do not abandon ship! There is a point in the work where we wanna say “Okay cool! I think I’ve got this and I’m gonna take a break.” Don’t do it! Push yourself just a little more. When you make it over that hump it is going to be glorious I tell you!!!

5. When in doubt go back to your pussy and breathe into your roots. Dance alone naked. Shake it off. Keep going. Cry through it. Do not give up. Umm, yeah, Earth hasn’t given up on us though we’ve pillaged her. Our bodies keep going after disease and childbirth and self-hatred and eating disorders. We owe it to ourselves and to the grandma’s that came before us to not give up and get too comfortable.

And P.S. Remember your edge is your own. Do not compare to the friend who did ayahuasca 366 times in Peru. Do not worry about your friend who saw Jesus when she was cumming. Your journey is about YOU. And in your dark personal corners, you could find something so magnificent…you really have NO idea!

If you wanna go deep and investigate your patterns with love, sex and relationships, join us for The Numinous: Re-write your Love Story Retreat July 15-17th in upstate New York! We’re offering an early bird special while Venus is in Gemini of $50 off EACH if you bring a friend (#healinghangdate time!)

HOW ALANIS MORISSETTE TAUGHT ME TO FEEL MY FEELINGS

The wisdom and wise words of Alanis Morissette taught me to finally feel my feelings…says Red Magazine’s Pip McCormac

IMAGE 1

“And are you thinking of me when you fuck her?” – You Oughta Know

That’s not when Alanis taught me to feel my feelings. That line, spat out from the depths of her era-defining 1990s album Jagged Little Pill was, for me, only a glimpse of empowerment. I’d bark the lyric like a helpless dog chained tightly to a tree: hollowly, with no real intent. It felt good to howl, but meant nothing. Aged 15, living in suburban Britain, quietly hating myself for being gay, I had no bite. I was meek, and this line was fun to sing, an eye on the door in case grown-ups overheard. But it had nothing to do with how I really felt.

In fact, as Alanis was emboldening a whole generation, I was learning to squash my feelings. Far better, I learned, to train myself not to be self-aware, not to study my shame at being gay. Far fewer outbursts, less look-at-me-meltdowns, if I just carried on, smiled through each day, forgot what I actually felt. Listened to Jagged Little Pill and pretended Alanis’s feelings were mine, instead.

IMAGE 2

“Thank you India, thank you terror, thank you disillusionment.” – Thank You

The next album was also not when Alanis taught me to feel my feelings. I rotated that record a lot, on my cassette Walkman, on coaches out of Bangkok, on Red Bull hangovers, on pillows made from my arm against bus windows.

Conversations about life, as a concept, took importance over what was actually my life. One step removed, I removed myself. “I’m an existentialist,” I’d declare, because of course that’s what all 19-year-olds were in 1999. I took a star-shaped stud out of my ear and left it on Sartre’s grave, sure that, if this were a movie, I’d meet my true love in the cemetery.

I played my life like a movie. I was just a role, my personality a plot point, changeable in line with the needs of each scene. Each relationship. If a boy called for me to be the ditzy ingénue, I could do it. The matriarchal carer? Done in one take. The sufferer in silence? My specialty.

My boyfriends didn’t know who I was. I didn’t know who I was.

IMAGE 3
“Lean in to your own personal growth. This will unlock your creativity, courage and self.” – Conversations with Alanis

Finally, two months ago, THIS was how Alanis taught me to feel my feelings. Self-learning my way through her podcast Conversations with Alanis, through her weekly Guardian newspaper advice columns, the 1990s rage in her voice has been replaced by a light, encouraging rasp.

Alanis, you see, likes to workshop her feelings. “Restore yourself to sanity,” she said in one episode. “The good friend in you that you can be to others? Be it to yourself.”

Sat in my self-care socks (alpaca wool, looking after my feet, my body, my mind), cat snoozing on my lap, my journey of self-discovery had begun. I’d had a breakup, but for once not a breakdown, was starting to wonder what I was really all about. Alanis gave me the confidence to find out.

For she doesn’t talk in inverted commas. There is no embarrassment at admitting she began an eight-week Imago course to help her be the person who could find a husband (it worked). No hint of the irony she was once so fond of when she speaks of “diving into self-knowledge,” or says “I thought I could just write songs [about my pain] but I found that having self-knowledge through deep intimacy and commitment was where I could find a deep healing.”

Self-knowledge, she made me realize, is key, and unlocking my feelings would not open a trap door.

When the anger at the break up finally dissipated, healthily, and was replaced by the sadness it had been masking, I knew what was happening, and why. Because I have the courage to be aware of my feelings, as they happen. To notice them, and understand them. To notice and understand myself.

Since learning to feel my feelings, I’ve been a better friend, to others and myself. More honest, less concealed. I’ve spoken up at work, begun two new passion projects, finally aware of what makes me feel lit-up. I’ve not got off with any boys because it’s the end of the date and it seems like the right thing to do, even if I don’t really fancy them. Because I know how I feel already, I don’t need a miserable kiss to tell me.

And I’m happy. I know when I’m happy. I acknowledge it, and it shines through and I feel it.

I feel empowered. And the reason I know I do? Because Alanis.

:: SOME FAVORITE ALANIS WISDOM ::
People who are in co-dependent relationships believe themselves unworthy of love and so put up with a lot, and compromise too much. Those in securely dependent relationships believe they are worthy of love and believe those around them believe they are worthy of love. YES!!!!

Mindsight –
How the mind can influence relationships, with others and with our own selves. Makes keeping the mind healthy a priority.

Autonomous healing is not the only way – 
The old adage that if you don’t love yourself, how can anyone else love you isn’t always true. The best healing can happen in relationships (romantic or otherwise) where you strengthen each other and learn and grow together. Makes sense.

On conflict resolution within a relationship – 
Talk it out. Both say your piece until you feel like you’ve been heard, and then, instead of compromise, talk it out more until you get to a place where you both win. Enlightened.